Friday, September 30, 2011

The Imperial March, played on disk drives

Here's a couple of old 3.5" floppy drives getting their grove on with the Imperial March from Star Wars. It's very nerdy and very impressive.

Anyone remember external floppy drives? My beloved Apple IIgs had two external 5.25" floppy drives. I could copy disks without having to switch them around constantly. Seriously, 1989 me was a techno boss.

Big ups to Katie for sending me this. I swear on my own grave if any of you e-mail me something I will find a way to work it into a post somehow. Seriously, just try me.


The FTC is calling Kelly Brook a liar. Turns out those goofy looking shoes that are supposed to help you loose weight and give you a smokin hot ass don't actually do anything. Well they did do one thing, they cost Rebook 25 million dollars in a lawsuit.

Best of the Friend-Zone Phil meme. If you can't relate to these then congratulations, you and I had a very different High School experience.

What the heck is Rosh Hashanah? Yeah that's two straight articles by pleated jeans. I don't care that dude is funny... But he's probably not Jewish, I'm no rabbi or anything but I think he got a few of his facts wrong.

The X-Men Guide to Puberty. It's funny and it makes you think. Puberty is hard enough, imagine having to go through it with a metal arm growing out of your crotch.

Grown man attacks boy over Call of Duty match. I don't think this guy should go to jail, he should be given a key to the city. Playing COD would be a much better experience if teens thought they could actually get beaten for their racist bs.

Andy Rooney. out of context

Andy Rooney has been doing the grumpy old man bit on 60 minutes since the 1920s. In fact he's been doing it so long he's sort of become a tv institution unto himself, like Pat Sajak or those Discount Tire Company commericals. That is until last weekend he finally hung up the old grey blazer and announced his retirement.

If you've never seen Andy Rooney do his thing before, congratulations on being under 20. Pretty much all you need to know about him is that he's cranky and he thinks the staple remover is a better invention than staples. Enjoy this supercut of him being super cray cray.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

New Walking Dead season 2 trailer

Here's another Walking Dead Season 2 promo. It's a little more artsy than the last one, what with Zombie church and all.

You suppose after zombie church there's a little meet and greet with coffee and cider? Growing up that was my favorite part of church, 20 minutes of standing around the general purpose room sipping away at some boiling hot instant cider trying to think of things to talk about with kids you only see once a week. I bet zombie church has the equivalent.

They probably don't have cider though.


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Welcome to the world baby Ganondorf

The letter of all letters appeared in Game Informer this month. Hats off to Mike Ortiz, this is a great start to some awesome nerd parenting.

If I had thought of it my son would be named Lord Vader instead of Logan.

Ban these links

Everything you need to know about the new Kindles. Alternate title: Everything my wife needs to know about Christmas shopping for me this year. Seriously, the new Kindle looks to be the bomb-diggity.

Newscorp contemplating an All Simpsons channel. In 20 years we're all going to be complaining about how the Simpsons channel doesn't even play the Simpsons anymore. Book it.

17 Banned books you read as a child. I can't believe some of the reasons school boards have banned books. "the main character has no moral story arc", WTF does that even mean?

The Browncoats Mix tape by Adam WarRock. It's Adam WarRock, it's free and it's all about Firefly. What are you still doing here?

Daffy Duck is a metal Wizard

I have no idea what this is from but it has Daffy Duck (my favorite loony toon) playing the part of a kick ass wizard with his own heavy metal sound track. It's like someone at the WB is trying to make up for Loonatics Unleashed.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The ThunderLoLcats explain the web

Sooooo, here's a video from MAD that aired tonight on the Cartoon Network. It's full of Nyan cats, double rainbows, Lobster Dogs and everything else that has made the internet cool for the last 12 months or so. If you spend way too much time at reddit you're going to love it. If you're a normal person you might just want to move along. I'm sure there's something "hilarious" over at grantland.

DC comics: bad at math

So there's this big sex controversy surrounding a couple of DC comics "new 52". I haven't really mentioned it because I haven't been to the comic shop in a few weeks and.. well.. I mean it's a comics controversy, who really cares?

David Willis sums up the kerfuffle in this cartoon pretty well.

I get the outrage, believe me I understand nerd outrage. But part of me kind of wonders where these comic book readers have been for the last couple decades? I don't understand why it's ok for Tarot to have a haunted vagina, or Witchblade's costume to be nonexistent, but Starfire's slut turn is something to quit reading comics over.

I guess there's different standards for "mainstream" books. Again, I understand but I sort of don't all at the same time. It's fine for new fictional comic book characters to be tarted up sluts, but when you take an existing fictional comic book character and give her the X-tina "dirrrty" treatment you've gone over the line.

Sometimes the hairs nerds decide to split can be incredibly capricious (big SAT word).

George Lucas, still ruining childhoods

Bad news nerds, George Lucas now has the technology to ruin your entire childhoon. Why? 'cause he's a dick, that's why.

Beyond the Call

I seriously can't handle all these Battlefield 3 videos. I've got 99 problems and all of them are related to the fact that I have to wait until October 28th to play this game.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Spot these links

Awesome dad takes his kids Ewok spotting. Short story long, this dad told his daughter there might be Ewoks in the woods where they were hiking. They never saw any, at least not until he downloaded the pictures of their trip.

10 Things you didn't know about Dazed and Confused. Dazed and confused is one of those movies I didn't want to go see because I knew all my stoner friends just wanted to see people getting high in a movie. Luckily I cave to peer pressure pretty easy.

11 cruelest Aspects of the Biggest Loser. #12 tennis lessons from Anna Kournikova. Just kidding, Anna. No seriously, she's really awful at tennis.

Pictures of the earliest web pages. I'll tell you where I want to go, anywhere but here. BTW, this is my first attempt at linking to a google+ gallery, I have no idea if this link will work if you're not signed up.

NYC Lightsaber Battle 2011

This last weekend there was a relatively epic lightsaber battle in NYC. Uber-nerds Lori Kufner and Kevin Bracken of Newmindspace organized the Jedi vs. Sith event. All you needed was a lightsaber and a copy of the new Star Wars Blue Ray edits to burn in sacrifice to the sith lords.

Ok, I made up that last part. But that's what they should have done. More pics after the jump.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Na na na na na na na na Catwoman!

My tumblr blew up today with pictures of Anne Hathaway as Catwoman on the set of The Dark Knight Rises. I have no idea where these originated from, I've seen several different watermarks. My guess is the Joker leaked them.

I guess she looks ok, I mean it's not as bad as dorky as Bane's costume. At least it's tight. There's just nothing that screams "fierce" to me. She looks more like someone going to a Halloween party than someone who's going to rob a bank and mess Gothams's shit up. Maybe Sean Young is still available.

more pics after the jump

Friday, September 23, 2011

New Facebook Layout

I "like" this

Thursday, September 22, 2011

It's always sunny in bloopertown

Today went a little sideways on me so I didn't get as much hardcore blogging done as I had planned. Here's seven minutes of bloopers from season 6 of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia as a peace offering. We still cool bro?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Don't stare at these links

Nicole Scherzinger busts Conan for staring. Pussycat Doll and X-Factor judge Nicole Scherzinger was on Conan the other day, where apparently he stared at her boobs just a bit too long. What a pig!

Diora Baird is Rob Ryan's Play chart model. Short story long, Defensive coordinator of the Dallas Cowboys Rob Ryan had a picture of our favorite green slave girl Diora Baird on his play chart. I'm sure it was just there to help "motivate" the team.

Hands on with Diablo 3. Argh Diablo 3! I forgot about you when I was putting together my video game budget for the next 3 months. Maybe if I put the family on an all ramen diet I can afford a new computer.

The 10 greatest Simpson's characters who only appear in one episode. Crackers are a family food. Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without.

Girls play Halo too, ZOMG!

Megan Fox must have heard about toe thumbs guy getting all her press, because yesterday news hit the web that she loves Halo: Reach. See, she's really a nerd just like the rest of us, don't you love her more now?
Fox said her husband Brian Austin Green is well aware of her love for gaming, though the people she plays with in the online world have no idea they're fighting the interstellar war with one of the hottest celebs around.

She added: “I play online mostly and (other gamers) have no idea. They make fun of my gamer tag too because it is funny. They are all a bunch of guys and it is clear that I am a girl so they make fun of my name, and they have no idea they are making fun of me.”
Every time I play xBox live with a girl I feel embarrassed for my gender. All the guys in the room instantly turn 13 and loose like 30 IQ points. I don't care how many times you've prestiged in Black Ops, "show me your tits" is not a winning pick up line.

Also I'm pretty sure there isn't a "tits" button on the xbox controller.

Politican confused by the googles

"I'll box the gay out of ya"

Ever google your own name? I do it all the time, there are a couple other Kevin Newburn's out there and I like knowing that my web presence dominates them. Of course I have the luxury of having a relatively unique name, it's easily googlable.

Also my name isn't synonymous with a gross byproduct of doin' it sodom style, which leads us to Presidential candidate Rick Santorum. Take it away dailywhat:

Virulently anti-gay GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum, who once told the Associated Press that his problem lies not with homosexuals but “with homosexual acts,” told Politico he has contacted Google to ask that they remove links to sites that define his last name as “the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.”

A campaign led by sex columnist Dan Savage, launched in the aftermath of the homophobic comment noted above (he's actually said way worse, ed.), resulted in the construction of the neologism, which has since climbed to the top of Google’s search results for the former Senator’s name both organically, and through google bombing techniques.

“I suspect if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, they’d get rid of it,” Santorum is quoted as saying. “If you’re a responsible business, you don’t let things like that happen in your business that have an impact on the country.”

Google responded to Santorum with a corporate shoulder shrug. They recommended that if he's upset with what he sees on the web he should go after the websites not the search engine. I wish him lots of luck with that. Trying to Censor the Internet usually works out pretty well for people.

Darth Vader just says No

More Star Wars videos, woohoo?

As awful as the Star Wars Blue Rays seem to be they've given us the some of the best Star Wars jokes in last couple years. There were only so many ways you could make fun of Jar Jar. Here's to hoping the "NOOOOOOOO!" meme doesn't die out soon.

via toplessrobot

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Woo Woo Woo Links

The guest and worst of RAW 9/19. Wolverine (or Hugh Jackman) showed up on RAW last night to help put over internet sensation woo woo woo Zack Ryder. It was the only time ever my wife hasn't rolled her eyes when I turned the channel to wrestling.

10 biggest missed opportunities in Sci-Fi and fantasy. Number one for me here is the Joss Wheadon Wonder Woman movie and it's not just because I want to see Eliza Dushku dressed as Wonder Woman. Wait.. yes, yes it is.

The internet's most dangerous celeb is Heidi Klum. Someone somewhere has determined that 1 in 10 internet searches for Heidi Klum lead to viruses or malware. I have never been more scared doing a search for an image to go with an article than I've been right here.

Why we're building a post-apocalyptic electric car. I've often thought of what Car I'd jack in robot-zombie apocalypse. I've always thought the Honda Ridgeline with a canopy would be a good bet. I figure whatever you go with it has to be a 4x4, for navigating downed power polls and piles of corpses. A 4 door truck with a canopy seems ideal, you can keep all your stuff dry but you don't have to sleep with the fumes from the spare gas cans. Plus the rear seat will double as a bed in a pinch. I picked the Ridgeline because a Honda just seems more reliable than anything else, plus it's got ridiculously high sides which has to be good keeping you safe from the zombie hordes. In closing, I think about zombies way too much.

I find your lack of arm strength disturbing

Lord Vader threw out the first pitch at an A's game the other day. It didn't go very well for him. He should have used more force push.

bonus! speaking of Star Wars and baseball, after the jump is a Kenny Powers/Darth Vader mash up that is not unhumorous.

New Walking Dead promo is a thing

If you're anything like me (sorry) this last Sunday you were watching the 2011 Emmys instead of Breaking Bad, because you don't get AMC with your el' cheapo satellite TV package. Not that I'm complaining mind you. I've gone from spending $90 a month with Comcast to $40 a month with Dish network. The only two channels I don't get anymore that I actually miss are AMC and Soap Net. And with the money I'm saving I could buy the entire 90210 series on DVD if I really wanted. Holy ass, I just looked it up, it's $226.99. I think I'll hold out for blue ray.

Anyhoo, the reason I bring up Breaking Bad is because during the show they showed a new preview for the second season of The Walking Dead. It's pretty cool, I mean nothing earth shattering or anything. Just a bunch of people killing zombies, you know the classics.

video after the jump.

The irony has occurred to me

Monday, September 19, 2011

Batman eats a hotdog

like a boss

Battlefield 3 for Xbox 360 looks ok

Last week EA finally released a trailer for Battlefield 3 composed entirely of xbox 360 game footage. My response:

Seriously, when does this thing come out? I'm dying here. I don't care if the maps are going to be bigger on the PC, or if the servers will support more players, I just want this game. Then I want to take about 3 weeks off of work and sit around my house playing this while eating a big block of cheese.

Man loses thumb, gains creepy toe thumb

Who's got one thumb, one toe thumb and a great story for picking up chicks at the pub? This guy!

Not me, the guy in the video above.

James Byrne from Bristol severed the thumb on his left hand last December while sawing through wood (lets assume it was pine).

After an attempt to re-attach his damaged thumb failed, plastic surgeons at Frenchay Hospital transplanted his left big toe to his hand.


I really wish I could have been at the hospital when the doctors told this guy they were going to fix his thumb by cutting off his big toe. Maybe Bristol is where Dr. Nick Riviera got his medical license.

When reached for comment Megan Fox put on a pair of non-prescription frames, an ugly scarf and proclaimed that toe thumbs were so last year.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

George is getting a Google Wallet

Since I'm over 30 the idea of replacing my wallet with my phone scares the shit out of me. What happens when your battery dies and you don't realize it until you're in line at the piggly wiggly? Or heaven forbid you "accidentally" download one of those nudie girl apps and android freezes before you even get past the unlock screen, what then?

On the other hand the idea of selling products using clips of Seinfeld episodes is very appealing to me. I'm pretty sure I'd buy a dozen shamwows if George was trying to sell more of them than Lloyd Braun.

Serenity now!

Friday, September 16, 2011

These Links are making me thirsty

Amazon reviews from Michele Bachman. I can't believe we live in a world where Bachman is a serious candidate for president. And that's not liberal hate, I voted for Bob Dole. Bachman is a loon, the idea that she could even get elected to the Boca Vista condo board is scary.

The Last Crown Victoria ever built. After 32 years Ford has finally stopped making the Crown Victoria. Making the Chrysler 300/Charger the only American made rear wheel drive sedan with an optional V8. My parents had an old Lincoln Continental that was based on the Crown Vic, man that thing was fun to drive. 2 tons of V8 powered rear wheel drive fury. Just what every 16 year old needs.

10 weirdest Consumer products based on NASA technology. Lube. Sex Lube is number one. Still want to cancel the space program Boehner?

Artists honor theft victim with original art. In the feel good story of the year, an mentally challenged man had his beloved Superman collection stolen from him. No that's not the feel good part. The feel good part is that the comics community hooked him up with all kinds of original art. Yay comics.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

First World Torture Devices

As a senior citizen of the internet (my first pc modem was 900 baud!) I'm always amazed whenever I run across something good at This is hard to articulate but comparing what they are now to what they were 10 years ago is like comparing to cracked magazine.

So with that said here's some first world torture devices by Conor McKeon and Alex Watt. They're all pretty spot on, especially the Robin Williams bartender. I'd rather hear Carrot Top read from Sarah Palin's autobiography.

more can be seen at and after the jump

Porkins Pork Skins

this is what you're missing if you don't follow my tumblr.

Batman is teaching my son to read

Something big happened in my household this last week. Batman taught my son how to read. More specifically a Batman laptop I snuck into the shopping cart last Christmas when my wife wasn't looking has taught him how to read.

You see my son loves computers and video games and no it's not just because daddy loves those things. He'll sit there for hours hitting the windows key on my computer, just watching the start button pop up and disappear. He's also a big fan of the scroll wheel on the mouse. It's cute but it's a problem, he deletes things by accident and when I try to drag him from the home office he throws a tantrum. So I thought it would be a good idea to get him one of those silly kids laptops (bear in mind he's not even 2 yet). As it turns out some of those laptops are really freaking expensive, so we bought him this cheap batman toy that's more glorified speak and spell then laptop. Best 20 dollars we've ever spent. It's helped us keep him happy on car trips, plane rides and most importantly diaper changes. I've never thought of it as a real learning toy, just a thing he can push buttons and listen to crappy music with. Then last week something crazy happened.

Batman asked for the letter "c" and Logan pushed the letter "c". Then the letter "l" then "g" then "a". He knows the alphabet. I've been watching him closely all week, and 9 times out of 10 he'll push whatever letter on the keyboard Batman asks for. Logan still can't say mama, but somehow he knows the alphabet. Mom and dad didn't teach it to him, Batman did.

Needless to say I'm beaming with nerdy pride.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

These Links never happened

14 things that never happen in real life. One of the things on this list has happened to me in real life. I mean it sort of happened to me. The "attackers" were all children but I think it still counts.

Marissa Miller joins the cast of R.I.P.D. I guess this is a movie based on a comic book, so of course Ryan Reynolds is also staring in it. Marissa Miller was Kate Upton before Brooklyn Decker was cool. think about it.

6 TV inspired video games nothing like the shows that inspired them. I can't believe there was a Home Improvement video game and in it you fight dinosaurs with a supped up chainsaw. Quick, where did I put that nes emulator? to the torrents!

The 2011 Miss Universe costumes were redonkulous. Seriously, whoever decided the Miss Universe pageant needed a cosplay contest was a genius. These were all so horrifically awesome I put a bunch more pictures in after the jump (thanks Guenna!).

Everyone wants to do Wonder Woman

Christine Hendricks was doing press for the "movie" I don't Know How She Does It and she told Billy Bush (really?) and Kit Hoover (really? really?) that she would love to play Wonder Woman on the big screen. A casting rumor originally thrown out there by Nicolas Winding Refn (what the hell's going on with names today?), the Director of Drive, who said he wanted to make a Wonder Woman film staring Hendricks.

Two things here. Warner Brothers has no interest in actually making a Wonder Woman movie. Wonder Woman is the most popular and recognizable female superhero of all time and she has more porn parodies to her name than feature films. It's nice and all that a director with a goofy name wants to make a Wonder Woman movie but let's be realistic.

Second, there is no bustier on earth that could hold Christina Hendricks giant boobs. If they filmed it in 3D they'd get sued for giving the entire audience whiplash... and boners.

Wakeskating > sitting at a desk blogging about wakeskating

This is the best wakeskating video you'll see all day, or maybe it isn't. What am I, your mother?

True story time. I actually own a wakeskate. I've had it for at least 6 years and I can pull off a total of zero tricks on it. For me a gnarly trick on a wakeskate is riding it switch. Basically I'm old and don't drink enough Mountain Dew for extreme sports.

via theHighDefinite

So this is a TV show or something

Ton of Cash (how is that not a weight loss show?) contestant Jonny Sarhanis was eliminated the other day. Did he walk quietly into the night? No, he gave the worst motivational speech since Dodgeball, beat his chest like a gorilla and then passed out from hyperventilating. I can only assume it's the most interesting thing to happen on VH1 since mini-me peed in a corner while sitting on his hover round.

I know I'm getting old, but when did VH1 get this crappy? I know while growing up it was the old persons MTV full of Kenny G and Michael Bolton videos but then sometime in the late 90s early 2000s they had this cool retro thing going for them. Did they run out of decades to love? Did Mo Rocca die?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

"Admiral, I want that ship, not excuses"

When you're talking about Star Destroyers there's the Imperial II class and then there's everybody else. But when you're talking Lego Star Destroyers there's the Venator Class and then there's nobody even close. Uber nerd iomedes has built the most incredible lego Star Destroyer I've ever seen. It's 8 feet long and weighs over 180 pounds. It was built using 43,000 pieces, none of which are glued or screwed together (a common practice when mega-legoing).

This thing is pretty amazing. The size of it is obviously impressive, but the detail in the engines and the gunner ports is really incredible. I can't even imagine taking on a project like this. I wouldn't even know where to start. Once you need to use autocad to put together your lego space ships I'm out.

In fact we picked my kid up a bucket of duplo blocks this last weekend at a garage sale. I built a pretty sweet looking crow out of them. That's where my lego prowess starts and ends.

video of this behemoth "in action" after the jump


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