Saved Links

New Doom level released by game creator John Romero. What year is this?

Report: Marco Pappa stabbed in incident with Miss Washington USA last month. How did this news story fly under my radar? It has everything, action, adventure, romance, lingerie football.

The 13 Most Nonsensical Theories About The Identity of Supreme Leader Snoke. I don't know if these are really the MOST nonsensical. They didn't really include the one where he's actually Palpatine in Vader's body.

How Batman’s Silly 1960s Series Saved The Dark Knight. Man, I LOVE me some Batman TV show. Sure it's campy but I'll be damned if it isn't super fun. I watched the TV Show movie from 1968 with my son a little while ago and he loved it too. Someone should reboot that.

The 7 Best (And Worst) Wigs of Current Comics TV. I feel like I should be watching Arrow more.

LFL, the F stands for Fighting

If you're like me last weekend you were glued to the LFL Eastern Conference play off between the Atlanta Steam and the.. oh who am I kidding? Nobody cares, here's a bunch of female athletes wearing underwear throwing down like they were on The Challenge. I'm guessing the ladies get a bonus for every hit they get on the field and on youtube.

Take it down a notch coach

Did you know that your Seattle Mist are 1-0 after defeating the Green Bay Chill 38-24 way back on Friday, May 2? Of course you didn't, because no one cares about the LFL. I take that back, the head coach for the Mist cares. He cares A LOT!

Stay Classy Lingerie Legends Football League

I was going to write a review of Iron Man 3 this morning but real life interrupted and instead you're getting a Legends Football player celebrating a tackle by twerking on her opponents head. I can't be the only one hoping that Richard Sherman does this to Michael Crabtree this year, can I?

The LFL is dead, long live the LFL!

After a year hiatus The Lingerie Football league is no more. However the LEGENDS Football League is totally a thing now. Gone are the skimpy uniforms, replaced by less frilly skimpy uniforms. Gone are the old team names and logos, in are the same team names and slightly different logos? I don't know, what am I the lingerie football ombudsman?

What I do know, is that only serious athletes give interviews to Fox News in their uniforms.

Serious athletes.

2012, the mediocrity is strong with this blog

It's almost January 1st and that means year end recap time. I feel like 2012 was the year I hit my blogging stride. Page views per day are up from under 100 to over 500 and I've getting way more spam bots posting comments so I must be doing something right.

Without further ado here are the 10 most popular posts of the year (which in the end is completely meaningless given that the front page is still the single most popular destination and I almost never use click-throughs).

For whatever reason (cough Diora Baird picture cough) the recap of 2011 was the most popular post of 2012. That's why I wanted to get this years recap out of the way before we rolled into January.

Speculation on the next generation of video game consoles was big this year. Two posts about the Xbox 361 and Playstation 3.2 were in my top ten. Next year I predict made up news about the Dreamcast 2 will dominate the top ten.

.. The Blurst of Times: The Choice. If you haven't got it yet, The Blurst of Times is a reference to a Simpsons episode where Mr Burns hires a thousand monkeys on a thousand type writers to write the greatest novel ever written. I know, a blogger who uses random Simpsons quotes, I'm clearly one in a million.

Summer Glau and hover hands at comic-con. If there was ever one image that sums up the entirety of my 4 years of blogging I think it might be this one.

NFL replacement refs are not good enough for the LFL. I'm pretty sure DevilDinosaur.com is the premier place for hard hitting Crotch Gout and Lingerie Football news. If it isn't, well there's always next year.

The oral history of Baywatch. If you missed it the first time you have to check it out the second time. Also this is a good time to reflect on that week that Donna D'Errico hosted Talk Soup. That was a pretty good week.

Harley Quinn's butt. Arkham City was easily the best game I played in 2012 so even though the Harley Quinn DLC was pretty poor, I'm glad something related to the game made it into the top 10.

Say goodbye to Power Girls boob window. This year was a weird year in comic book fandom. You saw a real explosion of attractive women embracing their inner geek with sexy cosplay juxtaposed with a movement to clean up what's seen as pervy art in comics. Personally I feel like if you're not cosplaying or drawing comics you should just shut your trap and let the artistically inclined have their fun.

Comic-Con cosplay. Speak of the devil, Cosplay posts are still pretty popular here. This year I was contacted by a couple of cosplayers who I had made fun of on the blog a couple years ago. I felt terrible. From now on I'm only focusing on the positive.

oh hi catwoman's butt. Speaking of the positive....

In addition to the top 10 posts of the year I also like to highlight the top ten search words or phrases that have brought new viewers to the blog. This year is pretty similar to last year. joseph gordon-levitt (1,794), not provided (1,493), scarlett johansson avengers (868), deadpool cosplay (474) nicole scherzinger boobs (474), scarlett johansson the avengers (387), joseph gordon levitt (364), kate upton boobs (296), peter crouch meme (249), nicole scherzinger tits (241),

Also this year I would like to send a special shout out to Bing. The search engine that brings in 1.2 percent of all visits. Good work Microsoft. Next year with your help, we'll get that chicken.

Not good enough for the LFL

Did you see the Seahawks smash the Packers on Monday Night Football? I've been told there was a controversial call near the end of the game.

Monday seems to have been the tipping point as far as everyone venting their anger over the current replacement referee situation in the NFL. So far no one has really hit the league with as much haughty sarcasm as the Lingerie Football League has. That's right, the Lingerie Football League. Take it away buzzfeed blogging monkey:

After the disaster that was last night's Monday Night Football game, the Lingerie Football League decided it could no longer stay quiet on the subject of replacement refs. They released a statement on Facebook that confirmed a story from earlier this year that revealed some of the NFL's replacement officials may have been fired by the underwear-based league. This is their statement, creative syntax and all, presented by photos of the LFL.

via buzzfeed

So there you are. The current crop of NFL officials aren't qualified to officiate a game where women play in their underwear. Go Seahawks!

Win a Prize; Tackle a Girl

What's the only thing better than watching girls play the game of football poorly in their underwear? Getting to tackle a girl playing football poorly in her underwear. At least that's what the marketing wizards behind the latest Lingerie Football League promotion would have you believe. Take it away Chet:

Here’s your chance to score with the LFL! We’re giving one lucky fan the opportunity to experience what true fantasy football really is with a chance to tackle an LFL team player during halftime at Lingerie Bowl IX in Las Vegas! Enter now for your chance to win a VIP trip for you and a friend to Las Vegas and see if you can take down an LFL Player.

Prizing Includes:

•Roundtrip airfare for 2 to Las Vegas, NV
•2 night hotel accommodations at the Palms Casino & Resort
•2 Tickets to Lingerie Bowl IX
•Chance to tackle an LFL Player during halftime
•VIP Experience: Private meet & greets, no-wait VIP access to Lingerie Bowl Weekend parties in Vegas, autographed merchandise
•$250 Gift card

via withleather

I love how they use the phrase "see if you can take down an LFL player". Not only are they openly challenging your manhood but there's a subtle reference to oral sex hiding between the all the overtly sexual references.

True story time. I took a writing class once (yeah, I know. what happened?) and the teacher taught us that 99 percent of all ad copy is sexual in some way. Now I can't look at an ad for anything without making it all about sex. Old Spice: High Endurance? They totally mean high endurance in the sack. Burger King lets you have it your way? Yeah, "your way" as in doing it in the kitchen.

What were we talking about? Oh yeah, I think the NFL needs to run the same promo. If I can enter a contest to tackle Mark Rypien's daughter I think it's only fair that my wife should have the chance to tackle Red Bryant.

Raptured Links

The Quick rise and immediate fall of the Punisher TV show. Fox is looking at producing a pilot for a Punisher TV show. One where The Punisher is a cop who fights crime as a costumed vigilante at night. So basically it's a Daredevil TV show without Ben Affleck.

The Lingerie Football League wants to start a youth league. Teenage girls in Lingerie playing football, I don't see what can go wrong here. Hold on a minute there's someone from the FBI at my door.

A bad day at the Shore. Suposedably these are The 11 saddest quotes by the cast of the Jersey Shore. The saddest part is that none of them start with "hey put down that gun"

Gerber Gator Machete Pro. It's a machete with an axe head built in. If this thing won't split some zomibe skulls nothing will.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Noses. My life as an artist has no meaning. I could never come up with someone so brilliant. Good thing Battlefield 3 comes out next week. That should give me something to do.

Forget the NFL labor problems, we have a LFL scandal... and a car wash.

two of Natasha Lindsey's teammates and her dad
Natasha Lindsey, former starting quarterback for your Seattle Mist tore her ACL in the first game of the season last August (yeah I missed it too). Here's proof:


Gross right? Well what's grosser is that the league is refusing to pay for her surgery. Take it away Ron and Don show:

Lindsey, who had surgery three weeks ago, said she hasn't been on the field since and has no desire to return.

"It's not necessarily the Seattle Mist as a team because the girls on the team are absolutely wonderful, the coaches are absolutely amazing. It's the management, it's the league itself, it's the commissioner," Lindsey said.

Wow, knock me over with a feather. Are you telling me the commissioner of the Lingerie Football League might be less than honorable? Cause I can't believe that. He must have a good reason for denying coverage.

Mortaza said they found a great doctor in Los Angeles and offered to fly Lindsey down for the surgery, but she ignored their emails and phone calls. "She went and breached her contract and went to her own physician. Even though she breached her contract, we still offered to cover her."

Lindsey said her hands were tied with commitments to a new job. She said she was also told the doctor in L.A. was on vacation just two days before her scheduled procedure.

Mortaza concluded with, "The fact of the matter is, sour grapes with Natasha. Great girl, but there was a reason she was benched. There was a reason she was second-string."

HAH! You deserved that blown up knee, just like you deserved to lose your starting spot. Next time maybe you'll work a bit harder on your 3 step drop. This is a serious league, you can't just work from the shotgun your whole life, missy.

Seriously, this sounds like a complicated situation that can really only be solved by a charity car wash. Thank goodness the Seattle Weekly is here to help us out, some of these are of Natasha I guess.

More like Footbrawl.. amirite?

If the Lingerie football league is going to gain some respectability they're going to have to do something about the fighting. Like maybe institue a penalty box... or a jello pit.


btw, is that head coach Busta Rhymes?

The Seattle Mist want you!

The Seattle Mist are holding open tryouts in Kent at the Wilson Playfields this weekend. Tryouts begin at 3pm and they ask bring "cute" workout gear and a pair of cleats. In unrelated news I think I will be taking my son out for a walk this Saturday at Wilson Park. 3pm sound good? see you there!

unsexy update. tryouts were on the 12th but I think this post still has merit.

Living La Vida Links

75 movie remakes and reboots currently in the works. It was either a picture of Jane Fonda as Barbarella or John Wayne from True grit. Did I pick the right image? Only google image search will know.


14 funny instances of fighting the power. Ron Paul? I would've bet money that Chewie was a Kucinich supporter.


Lingerie Football Players punished for wearing too much. Word on the street is that Brady Quinn was traded from the Browns for similar reasons.

2009 the year in mediocre blogging

Believe it or not I made 407 blog posts this year. That's not bad when you consider I'm barely literate. Here's the obligatory year end recap with the 12 most popular posts and topics in no particular order.

Robots

For me 2009 will always be remembered as the year I became convinced that Robots will rise up against us. You know how most billion dollar software companies located in Redmond WA will release a product that's incredibly buggy and needs to be imediately patched and upgraded right out of the box? Well try downloading and installing new drivers while a 100 pound pleasure bot is trying to rip off your junk.

Jersey Shore

It's easy to make fun of the so called "guidos" on Jersey Shore, what with all the punching and awesome Street Fighter mash-ups. But you who was doing it in January this year? That's right, this guy was.

Lingerie Football

Yep 2009 was the year the LFL took the nation by storm. Or at the very least padded this bloggers hits.

Jimmy Fallon

I still don't get it, but this post about Jimmy Fallon losing his hair is the second most popular thing I've ever posted on this blog. It scares me to no end knowing how many people use the internet to search for Jimmy Fallon.

Diora Baird

She's in Star Trek, then she's not in Star Trek and then she's in Thor. She's the most popular girl on the internet that no one has ever heard of. Her middle name might as well be "google image search".

Listener

I still can't get this song out of my head.

The Expendables

If loving Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren and Jason Statham is wrong, I don't want to be right

Michael Jackson

This post on Michael Jackson I made in June is still raking in the hits. Thank you stumbleupon.com.

Bikini Baristas

I used to live next to one of these. It was called Cowgirls Espresso. There was always some creepy dude standing outside the stand talking with one of the Baristas. Sorry Cowgirls, I want hot chocolate served by girls in chaps, not drama and insecure boyfriends.

Deadpool

I'm not sure why I became obsessed with Deadpool this year, but it happened. At least it wasn't the year of Squirrel girl or Matter Eater Lad.

Cosplayers

Posts about nerds that love to dress up as their favorite nerdly characters have become my go to move. If I collect just 4 more fat Batmans I can trade them in for one skanky Emma Frost or an Edward and a Bella.

Special 1 TV

I can't believe Special 1 TV died along with Setanta Sports. Wait Setanta Sports is still around? Then why the hell is no one making anymore Special 1 TV episodes?

There you have it, what can we expect in 2010? Are mummies the new zombies? Will peopleofWholefoods.com ever catch on? Are skateboarding pandas the new meme? Yes, No, Yes.

Are you ready for some Football!

I don't know why the Seattle PI stopped publishing a print copy of their paper. They clearly have the best coverage in town of the Seattle Mist. The last round of tryouts were held yesterday. Lets look at some of the highlights of their 33 page (no kidding.. 33 pages) photo gallery.

She already has better throwing mechanics than Rick Mirer ever had

D-Jack, is that you?

And you thought Troy Polumalu's hair was out of control

I'm sure this isn't what Chuck Knox had in mind when he said football players make football plays

It's always important to stretch

Fanbase or sexual predators you decide

Season Tickets are on sale now! Prices start at 8 dollars and top out at $107. I'm assuming for that kind of cash you also get a "lap dance" in the champagne room.