Monday, January 31, 2011

G.I. Joe: Cobra

So last Friday I took a long lunch and went to ye old Comic Book Shop (more specifically Dreamstrands in greenwood) and I picked up a couple issues of GI Joe: Cobra (I'm dropping the periods in GI because typing them is a butt). I've been hearing for the last few months that this book is pretty awesome but it wasn't until I saw a piece of art from it last week that I finally decided to pick up a couple issues.

Yeah, that's Cobra Commander eating lead. Not dying in an avalanche or disappearing in a plane crash. That is him straight up getting shot in the face. Like most man-children of my generation I've been a GI Joe fan for forever and have a lot of love for these characters. Killing off one of the big names is going to get my attention, which I'm guessing was the whole point of this, right?

As it turns out, the attention was well warranted, this is an outstanding book. I can't recommend it enough. Never in a thousand years would I have thought I would enjoy a comic book where Cobra Commander waxes philosophic about cognitive dissonance (to Chuckles of all Joes) for 30 pages. If you're headed over to my house anytime soon try and borrow these. If you don't actually know me please do not come over to my house.

What's on TLC tonight

I don't even have the sound on at work and I was laughing at this. Seriously, that's how good it is.

Axe Cop the movie

Axe Cop: The Movie - Part 1 from Peter Muehlenberg on Vimeo.

If you're never read Axe Cop you should really check it out. He's a cop who fights crime with an axe, and a dinosaur side kick. It was famously created by a 5 year old and his older brother and is pretty much as awesome as it sounds.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Black Stormtrooper, Fool!

I decided yesterday that this was funny enough to be relegated to the weekend. Sorry Donald Faison, maybe next time you won't let Zach Braff ruin your mini movie. I assume it was Braff that ruined it, I mean have you seen Garden State? yeesh.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Xbox live labels Autistic boy a cheater*

 *mostly because he did in fact cheat.

I had this story about an autistic kid unfairly labeled a cheater by moderators on X-box live all lined up in my blogging queue ready to go this morning. Then while checking the weather and traffic this morning I saw an update on the story. Turns out the kid did cheat, and the mom has to eat some crow.

Two quick thoughts on the story, first the fox13 video player blows. Seriously this thing is awful. Second, this kid should just be thrilled he didn't get banned outright. In fact if x-box live is going to mark gamers that cheat I think they need to do it in a more public fashion. Like change his gammer tag to zombiecheater67, or make his guy show up pink all the time. Cheaters pretty much ruined team fortress classic and that game was the tits.

Your slip and slide is lame and week

Some kids (lousy kids!) jumped a fence at a water reservoir in Hawaii, awesome hijinks ensued.

Every time I drive by the giant water reservoir on my way to Loren's house I think about how awesome it would be to play in it. Sailboarding, swimming, wakeboarding, jetskiing, the possibilities are near endless. Hopefully the people in the Roosevelt neighborhood won't mind me playing in their drinking water. What's the worst they could get, Cholera? Cholera's not that bad right? Oh it is? Ok, I'll shower before I jump in the reservoir, happy?

Thursday, January 27, 2011

New* Thundercats images

*by "new" I mean 2 days old which is like a decade in internet years.

So someone somewhere is making a new Thundercats cartoon. Which when you think about it, is pretty cool. I mean the Thundercats were pretty cool it's not like they were a legacy toy like GI Joe or anything. The fact that they're getting a revamp is enough to make any nerd happy. Well I guess any nerd that still doesn't have a thing for Cheetara.

That's right the big net buzz surrounding the above photo is that Cheetara isn't hot enough. Which when you think about it, is also kinda cool. Or sad. You know what? Now that I think about it, it's more sad that anything. I mean check out the second pic. Sure it's blurry as hell, but Cheetara still looks hot enough to garner weird fetishes with today's 11 year olds.

If anything people should be pissed that Lion-O kinda looks like a weenie.

and I'm done Christmas shopping

because my kid is getting a Dalek. Seriously, you tell me this isn't the coolest toy ever! What you don't watch Dr. Who? and you call yourself a nerd... You don't call yourself a nerd? It's like I don't even know you anymore man.

Mega Python vs Gatoroid.

Did you know both Debbie Gibson and Tiffany have posed for playboy? That's the kind of hard hitting research you get from What it has to do with Mega Python vs Gatoroid premiering on SyFy this Friday you're going to have to figure out on your own.

The last time Tiffany and Debbie Gibson were both popular would have been right around 1989 right? So does that mean we're still 11 years away from Christina Vs Britney in Mega-Sharktagator vs Ultra-Octowhalepuss? I'd watch that.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Wonder Woman pilot picked up, should be put back down

Earlier today our friends over at Gamma Squad reported that NBC has commissioned David E. Kelly to produce a pilot episode of his Wonder Woman TV show, which sounds like great news. Reportedly the pilot is to be directed by McG, which sounds like awful news.

I wonder if Korn has the time with their busy casino/county fair tour schedule to record the theme song?

fun nerdy fact time. Back in 2008 McG actually produced an American version of the beloved British TV show Spaced. It never made it to air... this totally bodes well for Wonder Woman.

Beyond Black Mesa

So I posted the 2 minute trailer to Beyond Black Mesa a while ago, but here's the whole thing. All 12 minutes of it... Ok so 12 minutes is kinda short but when you convert that over to youtube years it's like watching Hamlet. Seriously, I had to take a potty break at the 6 minute mark.

slightly off topic, slightly on. If you asked me 6 months ago what my favorite video game of all time was I'd have said Half-Life. Now I feel like I have to go with Red Dead Redemption. Am I crazy?

Batman Vs The Internet

Let me be frank, 99 percent of the content over at both sucks and blows. But these Batman covers by Caldwell Tanner and Kevin Corrigan... these are pretty awesome.

I could just post all of these but that would kind of be a dick move. You can check out more @ Then run.. run before the make you pop your collar!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Star Wars Legoland ftw

Yeah that's a lego Millenium Falcon so big it takes a fork lift to pick it up. Shut down the internet, it's not getting any better than this.

I always thought Legoland was a fantasy dream world only 10 year olds dared talk about but I guess it's a real place in California. This summer they're oppening up a Star Wars miniland, and it looks awesome. Check out the preview pics below yo.

Seriously, I now know where I'm going on my next vacation. Anyone want to baby sit a one year old for a couple weeks? Star Wars Legoland is really no place for children.

more pics at

Jerry the Great

One of the big drawbacks to having digitial cable with a DVR and like a thousand shows on demand is that you end up missing Seinfeld and Simpsons reruns. Lucky for me ('cause really who cares about you?) there's like a million little youtube crackheads piecing together awesome videos like this Jerry the Great trailer.

Now if only someone could recut old episodes of Acapulco Heat into a comedy trailer my day would be complete.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Ruh-Roh Spidey

Aw crap, gammasquad posted more pictures from the new Spider-Man movie. They look goofy as hell. Hopefully it's just the lighting or the fact that no one looks cool when they run. I mean why is he running anyway, or is super running just another one of those "spider powers" he inherited like super strength and precognition?

TMNT: Fight the Foot

Where are we on that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles live action remake anyway? Hopefully it gets made before Captain America and Green Lantern crap the bed and ruin all comic book movies for the rest of time.

Friday, January 21, 2011

The Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness

I missed Parks and Recreation last night cause I had a stupid soccer game in the rain. But that's why Al Gore invented the internet, so soccer dorks like me wouldn't miss the awesomeness of Ron Swanson's pyramid of greatness. I've been trying for the last 15 minutes to come up with something snarky about one of the blocks and where it's placed but this thing is gosh darn perfect. It's like looking at the Grand Canyon...

Thursday, January 20, 2011

It's not a Tumor.. it's Links

Paul the Octopus Memorial. The World Cup trophy is hideous, would it kill them to redesign it around Paul the Octopus? I don't think it's too much to ask for.

Overheard on X-Box Live. Yeah the link has nothing to do with the backpack, other than I found both at Dorkly has been running this segment about x-box live players for a long time. It's one of my favorites and I should have posted it earlier. my bad.

The Olivia Munn Mega Gallery. So that new show staring Olivia Munn premieres tonight. There's almost no chance it's going to be good right? I mean I'll watch it 'cause it's on TV, but I don't have to like it.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

X-Men: First Class, second chance

Oh thank goodness. These new pictures of X-Men: First Class, just posted by the LA Times, are so much better than that photo-shopped crap we saw yesterday.

In fact I think I could watch an entire movie about 1960s Kevin Bacon talking to January Jones' cleavage.

However, I'm not sure how long I can watch James McAvoy play chess against Magneto's turtleneck. Five maybe Ten minutes, tops.

And the winner is Bane!

Since the second Tom Hardy was announced as having been cast in Christopher Nolan's next Batman film, nerds everywhere have been speculating what villain he's going to play. Well turn off the speculatron because Warner Brothers finally made an official announcement.

Warner Bros. Pictures announced today that Anne Hathaway has been cast as Selina Kyle in Christopher Nolan’s “The Dark Knight Rises.” She will be starring alongside Christian Bale, who returns in the title role of Bruce Wayne/Batman.

Wait a minute..

In addition, Tom Hardy has been set to play Bane. Nolan said, “I am delighted to be working with Tom again and excited to watch him bring to life our new interpretation of one of Batman’s most formidable enemies.”

Ok there we go. Bane's actually an underrated Batman villain and he should be a nice change of pace from the villains we've seen in the first two films. I know everyone was clamoring over the Riddler but honestly isn't the Riddler just a less psychotic Joker in a goofy green suit?

I'll be interested in where the whole Selina Kyle thing goes. I'm not a fan of shoehorning an extra villain in a sequel (I actually think the Two-Face story in The Dark Knight hurt the film overall). However if Hathaway is just playing Selina Kyle as a love interest for Bruce Wayne I could see it working, especially now that Rachel Dawes got all exploded in the last movie.

bonus Anne Hathaway picture... I guess she'll work as Catwoman. I mean she's no Halle Berry.

X-men: First Class first look

...and it looks awful. There I said it. I was pretty exicited about this movie due to Bryan Singer and Matthew Vaughn's involvment but this first look at everyone in character just looks terrible. I know it's completely unreasonable to judge a movie based on one promo still, but it's also compltely unreasonable to film an X-men movie with Azazel as a main character and expect me not to hate it.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Dog Fort

I think I've posted Dog Fort here before, but since then this meme has totally exploded. There's like a hundred of these things over on reddit. I've posted just a couple, as always the first sample is free but after that... well I really have nothing for after that. I guess after that you can go to another website that's worried about things like "content" and "web traffic".

catch up on every episode of dog fort at

Monday, January 17, 2011

New Game of Thrones Trailer

Ok this new trailer for the HBO show Game of Thrones is pretty awesome looking. Between this and all the good things I hear about Boardwalk Empire I really wish I had the money to spring for HBO. Oh well... to the torrents!

Friday, January 14, 2011

OMG OMG.. wait, wtf?

So here's Chris Evans as Captain America. I guess they got the shield right. Seriously the only thing I like about this is the wings on his helmet. Everything else looks like ass. Maybe it will look better in action. I mean this is from the guy that brought us Jurassic Park 3, it can't all be bad right? What it can? ah hell.

Thursday, January 13, 2011


Here's the first look at Andrew Garfield as spider-man. Not to get all twighard on you, but I might have to tatoo this on my back. Hold on let me get into full nerd mode here...

I really love the changes they made in the costume. It's darker in color and is way less shiny. Even though all the horizontal lines kinda look like a CRT monitor with refresh rate issues, I like what it does to the overall color palate of the costume. It also the curves of the smaller lines gives the costume more of a 3-d feel. This Garfield guy looks a little closer in build to what I'd imagine high school Spider-Man should look like. I can not wait to see this with the mask on.

I've been pretty ambivalent towards this project but now I'm totally drinking the cool aid.

Just like Beggar's Canyon

This really makes that R2-D2 snowman I posted a couple days ago look like crap.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Olivia Munn's offensive crotch

Hey look! People are offended by Olivia Munn and this time it's not just nerds for her sexy shameless pandering.
It’s disgusting,” Dan Gainor, Vice President of Business & Culture at the Media Research Center, tells FOX411.“Maxim has moved their magazine from tawdry to full-on pornography.”

With America now privy to Munn’s personal grooming habits, Gainor predicts that retailers will race to put the offending issue under the counter.
“Any store could have children coming in. If I were a parent, and I walked into a store and saw that cover, I would make a scene until the manager hid it,” Gainor said.

~ Fox411 via the superficial

There's no way the guys at the Media Research Center really believe this is full-on pornography right? I mean they have the internet don't they?

On a side not let me take this second to complain about the new host on attack of the show (yes I know, I don't know why I watch it either). What was wrong with Alison Haislip or Morgan Web? Or Alison Haislip? Stupid G4.. stop acting like comic-con, pretending you're really more than you are. Just let me see my video game trailers and cops reruns. And more Alison Haislip!

my eyes! the goggles do nothing!

So here's the trailer for the Simpsons porn parody. I recommend you don't hit play. Technically it's safe for work, I just don't think it's safe for humans. The dude playing Flanders is particularly disturbing.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Gaming Platform Flowchart

This is kinda harsh on X-box 360 users but to be fair to the chart have you ever played COD on x-box live? I swear to you a couple weeks ago while I was playing black ops an 11 year old asked me if I had a Mexican baby. I told him no and he said "good". He ate from the chopper gunner that night..

via dorkly

3 Minutes

Here's a little short film staring the Asian guy in Glee that dances really well. It's got guns, lightsabers and a Lara Croft look alike. All in all it's pretty entertaining. I mean it's tuesday, what more do you want?

Monday, January 10, 2011

Marshawn Lynch dominates 2 video games

Welcome to Facebook Mom

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Bikini Baristas, real american heroes

I love local news. This summer my favorite local newstation's morning show sent a reporter to a popular jogging trail just to hand out free popsicles. They spent like 3 and a half minutes on that segment. The best part was that no one took the free popsicle.

Here's Spokane's own KLXY killing time with a story about what happens to the bravest of all baristas, the bikini barista, when the thermometer plunges.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Nerds that can dance... kind of

I'm not sure what the hell this is but it's 7 in the morning on a saturday and I have to go to work. So there... at least the song is good.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Twilight Fans have earned their reputation

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Let them Eat Cake, says George Lucas

If you ever rolled a D20 in your life George Lucas actively hates you. Here's the big press releases for Star Wars on Blu-ray
"The most anticipated Blu-ray release ever -- the Star Wars Saga -- emerges from light speed this September 2011. For the first time, all six of George Lucas' epic films (Episodes I-VI) are united in one complete set. Fans worldwide are able to pre-order now with online retailers.
Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment will release Star Wars in three distinct sets to meet the needs of every Star Wars fan:

* Star Wars: The Complete Saga on Blu-ray (9-disc Set includes all six films)
* Star Wars: Prequel Blu-ray Trilogy (3-disc set includes Episodes I-III)
* Star Wars: Original Blu-ray Trilogy (3-disc set includes Episodes IV-VI)

Star Wars: The Complete Saga on Blu-ray will feature all six live-action Star Wars feature films utilizing the highest possible picture and audio presentation, along with three additional discs and more than 30 hours of extensive special features including never-before-seen deleted and alternate scenes, an exploration of the exclusive Star Wars archives, and much more.

Star Wars: The Complete Saga on Blu-ray will be available for $139.99 US/$179.99 CAN and the Star Wars: Trilogy Sets for $69.99 US/89.99 CAN. Pricing for each set will vary by international territory.

Flanked by a legion of his finest Imperial stormtroopers, Darth Vader himself joined Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment President Mike Dunn at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) to announce the release, vowing "The forces of the Empire will be at your disposal to assure the success of this endeavor."

"The Star Wars Saga is the most anticipated Blu-ray collection since the launch of the high-def format," Dunn said. "The epic franchise pioneered sound and visual presentation in theaters and is perfectly suited to do it again in the home, with a viewing experience only possible with Blu-ray."

"With all six episodes available for the first time in one collection, this is a great way for families and home audiences to experience the complete Saga from start to finish," said Doug Yates, Vice President of Marketing, Online, Distribution, Lucasfilm Ltd. "And with the quality of high-definition, Blu-ray provides the most immersive home experience possible."

"The Star Wars franchise has been the most anticipated Blu-ray release by Amazon's customers," said Bill Carr, Vice President of Music and Video at "We think that Star Wars will be incredibly popular with our customers, and we expect pre-orders to be very strong."

That's right... no mention if the original trilogy is the original unedited trilogy or the special edition rereleases. I guess in theory it still could be the originals, but the fact that it's not mentioned in a 10,000 word press releases leaves me to believe my son is still going to have to watch these on VHS like God intended him to.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Real Life Superhero is gonna get shot

Ok so just in case you're one of two people on the internet that haven't heard this story yet, let me tell you about Phoenix Jones.

"Phoenix patrols Seattle's Capitol Hill neighborhood every week- stopping fights, feeding the homeless and helping folks who have run out of gas.

Unlike most movie superheroes, Phoenix doesn't have any super powers and he doesn't need them. He is made of flesh and blood and has gotten hurt. He deals with real criminals and puts his life in danger nightly.

The group includes Phoenix Jones, Buster Doe, Thorn, Green Reaper, Gemini, No Name, Catastrophe, Thunder 88 and Penelope."


The Green Reaper? Really? (sigh)

Now if you're not familiar with Seattle (hi Ralf) the neighborhood this Phoenix guy is patrolling is probably the whitest, trendiest part of Seattle. I wonder how many tickets he's handed out to Hipsters not wearing ironic enough facial hair? 10 bucks says if he makes his way down to the Rainer Valley he'll get stabbed by an 11 year old.

Talkie Toaster is not impressed

Have you ever seen a modded toaster play call of duty? You have? Well la di da Mr Fancy pants.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

2010, another year in mediocre blogging

Did you know I've been doing this for 2 full years now? Actually it's been 2 years 2 months, but who's counting? Oh that's right, Google Analytics does all the counting! Last week while on vacation I poured over all the tracking data for 2010 looking for interesting trends and facts. I didn't really find any so I just thought I'd put together one of those top 10 stories of the year posts everyone else did while I played Call of Duty until my arms went numb (true story).

So without further ado the 10 most popular posts of the year (which in the end is completely meaningless given that the front page is still the single most popular destination and I don't pad stats with click throughs)

Star Wars Car Wash was not bad. Big surprise this was the story of the year. As it turns out guys spending a lot of time on the internet like scantily clad ladies, who knew?

Who replaces toe thumbs? Again there's a reason I shoehorn a random Megan Fox post in here every couple weeks.

Landon Donovan slips one past the keeper. I feel like I should have won an internet pulitzer for this headline alone, too bad the story wasn't true.

World Cup Kit Review. It's funny that 2 of the top 5 are soccer related considering I barely blog about it anymore. I think I have Post Vulvazela stress disorder.

Marvel knows most of their movies suck, plan to shorten them. Too little too late my friends. Iron Man 2 was about 20 minutes and one Samuel L Jackson cameo, too long.

Ok, the 2010 Emerald City Comic Con really did have some awesome cosplay. I love cosplay posts but they're hard to put together, and it seems like everytime I do someone's like "hey that guy in the crappy costume was me" and then I feel bad.

Fabio Capello is watching you do it. Maybe Fabs should've spent a bit more time on the pitch and less time in Peter Crouch's hotel room. Then again, have you seen Abigail Clancy?

Avatar is so good you'll want to kill yourself. Seriously who liked this movie? Was I watching the same thing everyone else was?

When Pron isn't Pron. I'll always remember 2010 as the year "bubbling" facebook pictures became the chosen form of pornography for Mormon's everywhere. Or I won't, I haven't really decided yet.

Ice Cube with a gun.. and a fishing pole. Yeah this pretty much sums up my blog right here.

Oh yeah one more fun thing. Here are the top ten keywords bringing new people to the site this year. Landon Donovan, Megan Fox, Kate Gosselin (wtf?), Star Wars Car Wash, Diora Bird (spelling counts people!), Darth Vader Cat (again wtf?), Devildinosaur blog, 1990 bmw 525i, devil dinosaur, megan fox michael bay.

The Abridged Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Lets face it, Mark Twain was kind of hacky. The only reason people like him is from his guest apperance in Star Trek TNG. So really It's about time a publisher had the balls to spice up the old Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Hopefully this time he rafts down a river of blood, you know cause of all the sparkly vampires.

Due to the slow decline of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn being taught in schools because of the use of the “n-word,” which is generally used to describe Huck’s traveling companion Jim, Mark Twain scholar Alan Gribben and NewSouth Books are planning to release a censored version of the book that replaces the n-word with the word “slave.”


Oh yeah, the N-word. I forgot about that. Are we sure we can't add some vampires in there somewhere, maybe a werewolf? No? Oh well.

I'm pretty sure the only reason I find this story interesting is because I'm about 3/4 of the way through Fahrenheit 451 (which as any good geek knows is all about censorship, but not really). Huck Finn is a great book and I'm bummed that it's ruined for people because of the language of the period. Still, editing something like this seems like one of those slippery slope moments all the parents were worried about in Footloose when they decided to ban dancing. Where does it stop? A Brave New World, To Kill a Mocking Bird, Roots or even Footloose? I'm pretty sure someone in it calls Kevin Bacon a queer, although to be fair the dance in the factory is kinda gay.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Abandoned New York

Ok so this is hella long, and not really about Zombies or robots but it's cool anyway. This guy (Steve Duncan) took a camera crew underneath New York City to show off some of the abandoned train stations, tunnels, sewers, basically everything you'd see in a Cloverfield 2; Rise of the Hipster Urban Historians.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

My one New Years Resolution

.. Is to build the beer cannon seen in this video. Of course mine won't be controlled by an iphone, If it won't work with my motorola startac I don't want one.


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