Thursday, December 31, 2015

Ask A Porn Star: "Best Star Wars Movie"

Turns out when you always go to physical therapy wearing Star Wars t-shirts you eventually get a lot of Star Wars questions. This morning while at PT both my therapist and her assistant asked me what my favorite Star Wars movie was. It's a question I've been thinking about a lot lately, especially since everyone else on the internet seems pretty insistent on determining where The Force Awakens ranks in respect to the rest of the films.

Personally I think it's a bit early to try and come up with any sort of definitive rank, It took me a full 2 years to admit that The Phantom Menace was kinda crappy, but what the hell. I've got nothing else going on today.

1. Return of the Jedi
2. Empire Strikes Back
3. The Force Awakens
4. A New Hope
5. Revenge of the Sith
6. The Phantom Menace
7. Attack of the Clones

Number one and two are pretty interchangeable for me. I really like Empire but I feel the movie sort of loses its way once they get to Cloud City. I put Jedi above it just because I think it's stronger from start to finish. Also I don't hate on the Ewoks. The Ewoks were rad, they're little teddy bears that are perfectly happy with eating humans. That's metal.

Force Awakens and New Hope are sort of interchangeable too. A New Hope gets lots of credit for kicking everything off and building this amazing world but it's a bit clunky in places and some of the acting isn't that great. Awakens was really enjoyable and had better dialogue but it leans on A New Hope heavily, repeating a lot of the same plot points. I have a feeling that it might not hold up as well 10 years from now when we're not as nostalgic for the original cast.

Revenge of the Sith is easily the best of the prequels. It's probably the only one worth watching, as the other two give you a bunch of backstory they could have just spelled out in the opening crawl. It's by no means a bad movie, it has some really great action sequences, but it's the worst of the good ones.

Phantom Menace isn't the worst movie ever but it's not good by any means. The poor dialogue and bad acting really weigh down a plot that really needed the help. I've talked with people that have seen the movie multiple times that still don't understand how Senator Palpatine was using the Droid Army as a prop so he could gather power in the senate.

Attack of the Clones is easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I watched it once in the theater and was horrified. I've tried watching it again since then and I can't get through it in a single sitting. It's just so bad.

Anyway, here's some pornstars with their favorite Star Wars movie. Yikes.. is it just me or did we have way better looking porn stars in the 90s?

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

The Links Awaken

30 Things You Definitely Missed In “The Force Awakens”. Well it's December 30th, I figure if you haven't seen The Force Awakens yet you don't really care about spoilers. JUST IN CASE, here's your warning. Spoilers ahoy in all the following links and some of my pithy comments.

First off, nice try Buzzfeed, unless you went to the movie stoned or were on your phone all the time (I'm pretty sure that's 90% of Buzzfeed's demo) you probably didn't miss all 30 of these. Like the dish on the Millennium Falcon or the Pod Racers in the background. That's just paying attention to the movie. Still, I included this link because of the Ralpf McQuarrie concept art. That stuff is cool.

The 11 Biggest Differences Between the Book and Movie Versions of The Force Awakens. I'm not sure about the new Star Wars books. I bought one a couple months ago and it turned out to be some Young Adult novel disguised as a Star Wars book. Everyone is dreamy and has smooth chests, I think one of the Imperial Officers was a werewolf too. It wasn't that bad for what it was but it sort of turned me off on diving into this Expanded Universe 2.0.

Some Thoughts On ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’. I didn't really read any reviews on Episode VII. I heard they were positive but even bad reviews weren't going to stop me from seeing it. Vince from Film Drunk has a great point here in his non-review: "It’s not the kind of movie that feels like it needs a review. Reviewing The Force Awakens is sort of like reviewing a ride at Disneyland. “I liked the part where I went ‘WHOOAAAA’ but not the part where I went ‘awwwww!’ It was a little slow in the middle, before we got splashed with the water and it took our picture."

That's totally on point isn't it?

26 Unanswered Questions of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’: We Have the Answers. One of the biggest questions the internet seems to be obsessed with post Episode VII is "who are Rey's parents?" I don't know, I actually think obsessing over who Rey's parents are sort of points out a HUGE flaw in the Star Wars universe. Everyone has to be related to someone else. It was such a big obstacle that George Lucas himself couldn't just have Anakin Skywalker be some dude who happens to be good at the force, he had to be a Christlike figure, virgin birth and all. It's stupid. No one watches Michael Jordan play and thinks "Man if he's this good his parents must have been amazing".

Personally I'm WAY more interested in who Snoke is. He's old, he knows the force, the books imply that he's been with the Empire behind the scenes for a while. Is he a sith? Is he something else? The original Expanded Universe had plenty of room for force users that weren't Jedi or Sith. OR is he a character we already know. I'm pretty sure we can rule out Emperor Palpatine but could he be Palpatine's Master, Darth Sidious? It's heavily implied that Palpatine killed Sidious nut maybe he just thought he killed him. I mean at one point Obi Wan thought he had killed Anakin, look how that turned out.

Anyway, I want to know more about Snoke. JJ Abrams better not screw us out of a reveal.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Bumblebee Crumblysprinkles As Dr. Strange

Yesterday, maybe the day before yesterday, Entertainment Weekly released a couple first look photos of Benedict Cumberpatch as Dr. Strange. Looks cool enough. If there's been a single knock against the juggernaut that is the Marvel Movie Universe, it's that every movie follows the same basic formula. I kinda hope they go balls to the wall with Dr. Strange and just make it this weird trippy movie full of psychodelic magic mumbo jumbo.

I know Marvel has had a lot of success with keeping the Marvel Movie Universe realistic but I think audiences are ready for something weird and different. Or maybe they're not. I am, and isn't that really the only important thing?

Friday, December 25, 2015

Merry Christmas

May you get all the milk and cookies your heart desires.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Star Wars RC Star Destroyer - Will It Fly?

Some RC nerds out there with just the right amount of time on their hands and a youtube channel built a 15 foot remote control Star Destroyer out of foam core and lightsaber crystals. It's impressive but will it actually fly?

Yes, it will fly. It will fly hilariously poorly.

Christmas Wish List: Better Health

Every day in December (work schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

Quite literally everyone in our little nuclear family is sick right now. Wifey and I both have colds. Logan is recovering from a Flu and Ashley is going on 5 days without pooping. It's FANTASTIC. Hopefully everyone will feel a lot better by the time Santa slides down the chimney with care.

Being sick this time of year blows goats but watching your kids be sick like super blows super goats. My son is like a shell of his former self, sure he's easier to parent when he has zero energy like this but I'd rather have a kid bouncing off the walls than one that can barely get off the couch.

In the long run this isn't the end of the world. Everyone will feel better eventually and it's a good reminder how lucky we are that no one is like really really sick. Welp, I don't really know how to end this on a joke now. Merry New year?

Monday, December 21, 2015

Bullet Bouncing

Defense Links

The 100 Best Comic Book Covers of 2015. My favorite new comic of 2015, Descender could have had about 10 spots on this list. If you're looking for any last minute gifts for a sci-fi fan, I definitely would recommend the recently released Trade Paperback. It collects the first 7 or eight issues and is fantabulous.

‘Stop Crying And Fight Your Father’: ‘Seinfeld’ Writers Explain The True Meaning And Origin Of Festivus. I love the fact that Festivus was a real thing and that the writer who had to experience it was very much ashamed and embarrassed by it. I'll definitely keep him off of my list of people that disappointed me this year.

Listening While Feminist: In Defense of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”. The more I hear Baby, It's Cold Outside the more I wonder how a song that's clearly about date rape became so popular. Ok, maybe it's not specifically about date rape but as Dennis would put it, "it's the implication". Either way, this super old post by Persephone Magazine looks more into the historical context of the song.

It's a very interesting read and a pretty good defense of the song HOWEVER, I think with a lot of things like this, the context of the time is important but over time that context can become irrelevant. What could be considered progressive in the 1930s (some would say even feminist) can easily become warped by a misogynistic culture that to this very day perpetuates the myth that sex is something women don't want and only use to get something from men.

I don't know this is way deeper than I wanted to get into this topic. How about that Star Wars movie? That was pretty great, right?

Trick friends into thinking you have your shit together. "1. Put a bunch of shit in jars."

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Christmas Wish List: Good Pro Wrestling

Every day in December (work schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

This one's pretty easy and it's something I've wanted to write about for a while but things have been really busy at work and home lately so I haven't found the time. I really wish Monday Night Raw wasn't a dumpster fire. That's not too much to ask for is it? I'm not one of those kids who grew up with the Monday Night Wars that wants everything to be chairs to the face, bra and panty matches and Austin 3:16 clones storming the ring in beer trucks but I really would like a reason, any reason to watch Monday Night Raw. There are so many great wrestlers in the WWE right now but the format of the show over the last few months has pretty much leg dropped me into apathy over the whole thing. At this point even when something "THIS IS AWESOME" happens I simply don't care.

Sure Pro Wrestling is fake and silly but when its done right it's pretty awesome too. Chikara founder Mike Quackenbush (above) explains the appeal probably better than anyone. I don't know man, I wish RAW could just give me a piece of what Quackenbush describes.

I guess things could be worse. NXT is still amazing, so it's not like there's nothing to watch. The only thing about NXT that's depressing is knowing that the WWE still treats it like developmental (which to be fair it is) so when wrestlers do really well they eventually get "promoted" to the wasteland that is the main roster. I guess I should start cheering for my favorites to fail?

That doesn't make any sense.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015


Hey kids, ever wanted to masturbate while you're talking with a female version of that guy that did translation for Jaba before C3-PO showed up? Well today is your lucky day.

Yes I know his name is Bib Fortuna...

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Christmas Wish List: A New Car

One day in December (work schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List That's Not A Wish Anymore Because I Just Bought It (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

This last weekend I bought a new (to me) car. It's a 2005 Mazda 6 Wagon. What can I say? I'm a Wagon guy.

I'm pretty happy with the purchase so far. It's a car I've kind of had my eye on for the last 5 or 6 years. I never thought I would find one with low miles but this last weekend when scanning online ads I saw this one in Tacoma that only had 46,000 miles on it and before you know it I was shaking hands with the sales guy.

The car is in pretty good shape, especially considering it's 10 years old. It could use a once over with the clay bar and some detailing but everything is there and working. The interior is really clean, even though it's been Armored All'd to death. When I first sat in it I almost slid right over to the passenger's seat. It definitely had plenty of zoom zoom in it, it has a 220hp V6. Google told me it goes 0-60 in about 6.5 seconds and I believe it. It's the perfect family car for if you're going to rob a bank I guess.

Anyway, I just really wanted to talk about my new car a bit. Everyone at work has been on my nerves lately so I haven't been able to gush about it IRL. My next post will be about video games or comics or something, I promise.

Star Wars Battlefront: 4k @ 60fps

So if you spend too much time on Reddit you're probably aware of the schism in hardcore gaming, console gamers in one corner and PC MasterRace in the other. I don't really care much about it at all but the PC MasterRace definitely have the prettiest toys as this video of Star Wars Battlefront running 60 frames per second at a 4K resolution can attest.

I'm sure the rig you need to run this costs a few thousand dollars but woowee, my kids didn't need to go to college anyway.

Friday, December 11, 2015

New X-Men: Apocalypse Trailer

Hey lookie here, it's a new X-Men: Apocalypse Trailer. It's better than the last one, not that the last one was any great hill of beans(?). The biggest difference is they obviously went in and fixed up Apocalypse. Just having him be bluish instead of purplish makes a world of difference. Also I think they made the right decision by not showing him a bunch but having all the characters talk about him. Everybody who's going to see this already knows who most of the X-Men are, you don't need to reintroduce them, you need to give the movie goer a reason for while this movie will be important and worth their time. Building up Apocalypse like this was the way to go.

Compare that to the Batman V Superman trailer where Lex Luthor gets like 15 seconds and he's HYPER ANNOYING IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. To be fair I've like the last 2 X-Men movies way more than the last Superman movie so they don't have to sell me on it quite as hard.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Christmas Wish List: Dr. Homer's Miracle Spine-O-Cylinder

Every day in December (work schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

Long story old, I hurt my back. As a matter of fact a couple weeks ago I hurt my back pretty bad. I'm no stranger to weird muscle injuries. Since I turned 30 my body has slowly been turning against me. It probably has something to do with lack of proper exercise and a super crappy diet. Anyway, the point is when I hurt my back a few weeks ago I kind of had a feeling this was different.

Fastforward to tomorrow morning and I have my second appointment with a physical therapist to try and get my squishy spine goo to squeeze back in my spine hole (actual medical term). It sucks. In theory after about 4 weeks of treatment I should be back to normal but I'm an American and I want instant results yesterday. Also while the pain killers and muscle relaxers they gave me were fun for the first week, I'd love to be able to drive my car for more than 15 minutes without wanting to curl up in the fetal position and cry. That's why I think Homer's Miracle Spine-O-Cylinder might be for me. Get on it Santa.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Jessie's Links

Love playing old school games? You need this tiny arcade Machine! You have got to be kidding me, what is this an Arcade machine for ants? How on earth would you use that tiny little controller much less be able to see anything on the tiny little screen. This is a fantastic waste of time.

5 Things I Learned Trying To Get Laid In 'Skyrim'. OMG you guys this is the most fantastic/disturbed thing you'll read today. Basically its story of one lonely schlub that just wants to enact out one weird sex fantasy using Skyrim and his trials and tribulations along the way. Now I've known for a while now that you can MOD in a bunch of nudity into Skyrim but I had no idea some of the depraved nonsense you can add to the game. God bless this guy for being as open and candid about the whole thing as he was.

This is my stone cold lock of the week of the century of links today.

See Rick Springfield's Massive 'Star Wars' Toy Collection. Turns out Rick Springfield is a huge Star Wars nerd and has a HUGE toy collection. Good for him, what's the point of having Jessie's Girl money if you don't spend it all on something rad?

8 bits, 8 players, 8 projectors, and one Nintendo Entertainment System. I have a hard time wrapping my head around what these guys and gals did but it's pretty cool looking. Essentially their playing Mario Bros 3 in the round.

Christmas Wish List: More Time to Blog

Every day in December (work schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

Man do I have a time management problem. Specifically my job in lower management doesn't afford me with all the free time I want to blog. But it's not just at work, it's at home too. With everything that I feel like I have to do I rarely find the time to do the things I want to do. On a good weeknight I have about 2 hours to spend with the kids before their off to bed and once they're in bed I'm done. On a real productive night, when I'm full of energy, I'm lucky if I can get a load of laundry done. Then when the weekends roll around I spend most of it catching up on all the stuff I should have been doing during the week.

It's awful, someone invent a day with like 30 hours in it.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

GTA: Seattle

I know true life crime isn't in my usual bag of blogging topics, but this is the craziest video. I felt like I just had to share. Over the weekend some guy flashed a couple guns in downtown Seattle, carjacked someone, got chased by the cops, shot at the cops and was eventually killed by the cops. If only he could have made it to the Pay n Spray.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Christmas Wish List: New Camera

Every day in December (work schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

Boy do I really want a new camera. My kids are probably as cute as they're ever going to get right now and the amount of quality pictures I have of them is frighteningly low. Basically I'm rolling with a camera phone right now which is ok for pictures under good light but if I have to use the flash everything comes out really washed out or everyone has zombie eyes. And forget about it if the kids are actually moving, which is like 99% of the time.

I'm not 100% sure I want to go the full DSLR route. First of all they're incredibly expensive so lets just stop right there... However Panasonic, Sony and a couple other manufacturers make a few cameras that sort of bridge that point and shoot to DSLR gap. That might be right up my alley. Costco had one for sale the other day for about $300. I don't know, it's still a lot of money to spend when I'm trying to save up for a new car but I feel like if I don't do something quick my kids are going to be teenagers and at least 70% less cute than they are right now.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Game of Thrones Season 6 Teaser

So here's your 40 second teaser (which when you break it down is more like 15 seconds) for the upcoming season of Game of Thrones. Those guys at HBO are sneaky bastards. To keep the John Snow mystery going they went ahead and spliced in a bunch of footage from previous seasons highlighting all main characters that have been killed so we're to believe that John Snow is really dead. He's not though.


Christmas Wish List: Transformers USB Drive

Every day in December (work schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

I fell like there's a good chance that I've posted this transforming Ravage USB Drive before. Don't care, I still don't have one and I still really want one. I've been looking into a way to back up all the family pictures on my PC and this would pretty much do it. Right now I run with dual Hard Drives which is great in case one fails but if there's a fire or my PC gets stolen I'm still pretty much out of luck.

I know I should really get with the times and just store everything on the cloud but can the cloud take down an Autobot?

Batman v Superman: Trailer #2

Well that certainly looks like a movie.

Random Thoughts you might have already seen from me on twitter:

Lex Luthor looks like the worst. When they cast Jessie Eisenberg in the role I was hoping we'd basically get Mark Zuckerberg as Lex Luthor not Jessie Eisenberg doing a manic Gene Hackman impersonation. I get it that they threw in Doomsday so there can be a big knock out punch em up fight scene but Luthor is your big Villain, make him your BIG VILLAIN.

This is going to be the most Marvel Team-Up movie of all time. They tipped their hat too much in the trailer. Almost every issue of Marvel Team-Up had the two good guy fight for the first 5 pages or so before they discovered who the true villain was and teamed up to defeat them. It's like when Iron Man, Captain America and Thor all fight in the first Avengers movie for 2 minutes, except that's the Entire movie. Yay?

Affleck's Batman voice is ridiculous, but honestly it's probably a bit less ridiculous than Bale's was so I guess it's an improvement?

If Batman made a movie about Superman, this would be it.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

TORQUE: Bike Duel

This is quite possibly the worst fight sequence ever filmed. I can't imagine that the final product was what the director and the stunt coordinator had envisioned. Except maybe the Mountain Dew and Pepsi ad placements. I'm pretty sure they nailed that part.

I don't even remember this movie. IMDB tells me that Ice Cube was in it but they didn't really cover that in Straight Outta Compton. I'm going to look it up on Netflix tonight. I hurt my back last week so I'm all looped up on painkillers and muscle relaxers, this looks like it could be highly enjoyable in my addled state.

Christmas Wish List: The Knights Chain Mail Satchel

Every day in December (work schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

The Knight’s Chain Mail Satchel is pretty much the coolest/dorkiest way to carry around your laptop while saying "It's not a purse" ad nauseam. I have a messenger bag but it's this really flimsy piece of garbage I got for free from one of our suppliers at work. Every year I bring it to ECCC and every year I destroy a bunch of comics trying to get things in or out of the bag. It was designed in such a manner that the structural integrity of the bag hinges on it being closed, so one you open it all bets are off.

Anyway a new messenger bag would be pretty cool and this one has chainmail so it's like +2 cool.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Every Single Star Wars Vehicle From The Original Trilogy Sized to Scale

Lets just make it a Star Wars party today. This video by Scott Park shows all the vehicles from the Original Trilogy to scale. It's pretty cool HOWEVER, the shuttle pod doesn't look right at all. It's the same size if not bigger than a Tie Bomber? How many people does a shuttle pod hold? The Lego one my son has barely holds 3PO and R2. Is Scott Park saying I've been lied to via Lego? I hate it when that happens.

Batman v Superman Sneak Peak

Did you feel the disturbance in the force on Monday night? During an Episode of Gotham DC/Warner Bros graced us with a 30 second sneak peak of Batman v Superman.

Honestly, this looks terrible. Right from the get go you have a group of guys bowing to Superman. In what world is Superman cool with a bunch of dudes bowing to him? I just don't get it, I'm sure there will be a huge audience for this kind of grim take on Supes and Bats beating the crap out of each other but it sure isn't this guy.

Christmas Wish List: A PG Star Wars

Every day in December (work schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

This year I would like to start off the Official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List with a mini-rant. Why the hell can't Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens be rated PG? If you follow me at all on twitter you might have already seen this rant, sorry, but if not here's my two basic points:

Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope was rated PG. Yes, I understand there was no PG-13 rating when it came out but I've watched Star Wars a thousand times, just a couple weeks ago I watched it with my 6 year old son. Star Wars is entirely appropriate for a 6 year old. It's exactly what a PG movie should be, there's a couple scary parts hence the "Parental Guidance" but there's nothing too gory or realistic, there's zero bad language, no sex.

Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens should be just as accessible and appropriate to a 6 year old as the original was. The fact that it isn't is either a failure of the film makers or the MPAA. In my mind, there's really no middle ground. I'm sorry to remind some of my nerds about this but the Star Wars movies should be for kids. That doesn't mean they have to be crappy or hokey or that you can't enjoy them as adults but they're kids movies. KIDS MOVIES.

Just because something is a kids movie doesn't mean it has to be crappy, The Incredibles is a kids movie so is Big Hero Six and both are easily in my top 10 superhero movies of all time list (something I just now decided was a thing). There are plenty of great movies that are family friendly, being PG doesn't mean you have to dumb something down. If anything film makers have to work harder on a PG film because you can't simply titillate the audience with some big explosions, a "holy shit" and a glimpse of boobs. You have to find a way to craft a compelling story with proper pacing, dialogue and compelling characters. You know all that boring stuff real story tellers use.

Long story short, I'm mostly pissed because I don't feel like I can take my son to see this with me on opening night. I'm going to have to actually parent and see the movie first before I take him. I guess there's worse things than seeing the new Star Wars movie twice on opening weekend.

Monday, November 30, 2015

The Tables Have Turned

PSY: Daddy

Remember a couple years ago when Gangnam Style was THE big thing for like 2 months. That was crazy!

Anyway here's a new song/video from Psy. He's doing that super creepy adult fact on a baby body thing that I can't stand. Maybe it'll work for him, probably not though. I'm sure he's still big in Korea but I can't imagine him having more hits over here in the states. Kinda like Macklemore... Wait, Macklemore is still a thing?

Well, I'll be snookered. I guess there's still hope Psy.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Merry Thanksgiving!

Hey kids, happy Thanksgiving. Remember to put some Booty in the stuffing for me.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Exclusive Links

Fox News Contributor Gets Death Threats After 'Star Wars' Joke. I'm not saying she deserved to get any death threats BUT if Katherine Timpf was to get them they shouldn't be from Star Wars fans, they should be from comedy fans outraged at her AWFUL attempt at humor. Seriously, Star Wars fans are nerds? What are you 12?

Top 5 - Xbox 360 exclusive games of all time. This is a pretty good list. I would definitely have put Shadow Complex on it over Fable III but at least they gave it an honorable mention. Also the Xbox 360 turned 10 years old last weekend. Father time is really coming for us all isn't he?

I added some fake Black Friday deals to this store's weekly in-store flyer. These are all hilarious and over the last couple days they've gone pretty viral. I'm really hoping someone shows up at a Target on Friday demanding their free Falcon.

The Absurd History of Nike Air Technology. Oh man, I remember just how bad I wanted a pair of Nike Air when I was a kid. My parents had enough money to send me to private school but not enough to buy me fancy shoes. Like I was always wearing weird European shoes like Lotto or Diadora that you could find in the bargain bin at Big 5. I'm sure that if I went to school in Turino I would have been super cool.

I think I got my first pair of Nike Air when I was like 17 or 18 and I remember how horrified I was when I realized it was just a fancy insole you could pull out of the shoe (they weren't the visible kind). What a scam.

Captain America: Civil War Trailer

Last night Jimmy Kimmel debuted the new Captain America trailer. It looks cool I guess.

Here's the real deal with Bill McNeil, the comic book mini-series Civil War, that this movie is based on, was terrible. It's absolute hot garbage. It has Iron Man and Captain America picking teams and fighting against each other for no reason. In the whole series I'm not sure a single character makes a decision that one could logically justify from the 30 plus years of comics history that predated the event. What's worse is it pretty much ruined Iron Man for the few years following it. They made him such an unbelievable a-hole..

So here we are, adapting the same story that made zero sense in the comics to the big screen, where you arguably have less time to flesh out all the characters' motivations. Good luck.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Science is Delicious

Let me tell you, if you've been making pancakes or waffles from a box WOOOOO DOGGIE, you have got to cut that out. I started making waffles from scratch and they are so much better than from a box. Also it's way cheaper. Your initial outlay for ingredients is going to be more (eggs, oil, flower, baking powder, vanilla extract, sugar, milk) but the cost per waffle is way way less. It doesn't even take that much time. MAYBE 10 minutes to throw everything into a bowl and mix it all up.

Just trust me, start making your waffles from scratch. You will thank me later.

10 Movies That Stole Their Sets From Other Films

This video from Screen Rant highlighting sets or locations that were used in more than one film or TV show is pretty interesting. I was very excited that I recognized the rooftop garden in NYC that was used in Spider-Man and Daredevil all on my own a couple months ago. Yay, I watch too much TV!

Monday, November 23, 2015

Game of Thrones Season 6 Promo

Season 6 of Game of Thrones doesn't come out until next April but why slow down the hype train? TOOT TOOT!

I'm sure there's already some dutiful blogger out there that has examined every centimeter of this picture for clues and spoilers about Season 6. The conspiracy theorist in me says that John Snow will probably play a large role in the events of Season 6, whether that be posthumously or humously(?).

Either way it should be exciting. While season 5 saw quite a few deviations from the books Season 6 should be about 90% all new story. It's been a couple years since I've read A Feast for Crows or A Dance With Dragons but I'm pretty sure there's very little from those books that we haven't already seen yet, minus the subplots that have been completely ditched. I'm sure whatever we see there will be plenty of nerd-outrage and record ratings.

Ceschi: This Won't Last Forever

Ceschi Ramos or Ceschi is a rapper I've heard before but I've never really listened too. Someone in my Facebook feed this morning posted this video for This Won't Last Forever and holy cow, what a great song. I'm definitely going to be looking up his newest album later tonight.

Friday, November 20, 2015

Swim Links

Talking Ten Years of 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia' with Two of Its Stars. Good read, BUT I have one bone to pick with Glenn Howerton here. There is ZERO way Dennis isn't a psychopath. He just has to be. I understand that he thinks the character isn't funny if he's a psychopath but you tell me what's funnier. Someone that's repressed their feelings so much that they function as if they were psychopathic or someone that understands the nature of emotions but doesn't actually feel them, leaving them with free reign to exploit other peoples emotions. Also he's an idiot.

Ok, as long as he's an idiot I guess it works either way.

The 26 Weirdest Adult Swim Shows Ever. Great list. The disconnect between the Character Eric Andre played on "Don't trust the B in Apt 23" and Eric Andre on the Eric Andre Show is incredible. Like he should have won all the Oscars or Emmys or whatever awards it is they give to low rated cable tv shows.

Star Wars: Battlefront (4K/Ultra) PC. Wow... just wow. Someone give me like $2,000. Wait, make it $4,000. I need a new PC and a down payment on a car.

The fabled SNES-PlayStation prototype has been turned on and disassembled. In case you haven't heard the story behind this. Before making the Playstation Sony had forged a partnership with Nintendo that would have seen them making CD drives for the SNES and eventually what became the N64. It didn't work out and Sony took all their hardware and made the PS1.

This is what most believe is the only existing prototype. It works! Kind of.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

The Ultimate Jason Williams Highlight Reel

Hey kids, remember Jason "White Chocolate" Williams? Here's 3 minutes of him breaking ankles and making defenders look silly. It's just the thing to cheer you up if you're sitting in your office wondering why the new ownership group took all the managers out to lunch but you didn't get invited.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Zoolander 2: The Zoolandering

In the long and storied tradition of posting youtube clips I haven't seen because I'm either too busy to find anything else to post OR I simply can't find anything else to post, here's the trailer to Zoolander 2. Did you know Zoolander came out in 2001? That's like 14 years ago.

Here's how long ago 2001 was. The following arists were in the top 10 of the Billboard hot 100 for 2001: Lighthouse (What?), Alicia Keys, Janet Jackson, Train (ugh), Jennifer Yopez, Matchbox Twenty (lol), Eve, Dido (who?), Lenny Kravitz, and Destiny's Child. Just missing the top 10 were Shaggy and Uncle Kracker. Zoolander was legit hilarious but I think it's says a lot about Ben Stiller's career trajectory that he's doing sequels to hits from 15 years ago. I don't know, he used to be funny, he was pretty good on Another Period and that was just a few months ago. Maybe Zoolander 2 will catch lightning in a bottle again.

Plus, Owen Wilson is still alive. That's cool, right?

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Fallout 4 or Masturbation?

Fallout 4? More like Fall Out of your Masturbation Habit...

Ok they can't all be gold. Frankly I haven't even watched this video maybe it's good maybe it's not. I've been buried at work an this came up in my youtube subscriptions and I thought I'd go with it. From the description it looks like Pornhub, am I spelling that right? It looks weird... I don't know, I only use the internet for scientific research. anyway Pornhub says that they saw a relatively big reduction in traffic after the release of Fallout 4.

Good for you gamers, you can masturbate any time. How often do you get to play a massive, wildly entertaining but also wildly flawed mega release from Bethesda? Once every two or three years?

Friday, November 13, 2015

Parallel Links

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Vs. Canada’s Ed The Sock, And The Problem Of Parallel Creation. Good article by Vince about Ed the Sock and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. I'm one of like 20 non-canadiens who is actually familiar with Ed the Sock and honestly the similarities between him and Triumph had never occurred to me. It's obvious the the guy behind Ed the Sock holds a grudge but I have a feeling it's only because Robert Smigel out puppeted him.

Conan O'Brien: Video Game Salesman. Conan has been doing these "Clueless Gamer" segments for a while now. It's funny I've never thought that much about them but they're clearly commercials aren't they? This last week they went all out with the launch of Fallout 4 and for the first time ever they included a disclaimer that said consideration furnished by Bethesda. I guess this is the ethics in gaming that GamerGate has been clamoring for?

I've never had a big problem when TV shows highlight their sponsors like this but I always appreciate the disclaimer. It's like when you're watching Hawaii 5-0 and every piece of tech they use is from Microsoft or every car is from Chevy. Just come clean with the fact that GM pays you to highlight their crappy compact sedans and lets get on with shooting some bad guys.

Time Warner Cable hopes to lure cord-cutters with a Roku 3 and cheap streaming. Hey, this doesn't sound so bad. If I was off living on my own I'd totally buy a cable plan like this. As it is I'm one of those people that sticks with cable (or in my case Dish Network) out of convenience. I watch almost everything off the DVR because of the kids. I'd probably be ok if I was just stuck with Hulu and Netflix but the sports man.. the sports. I live far enough away from the big city that I can't get local channels over the air and I'm not about to miss out on Seahawks and Sounders games.

2015: 42% of Women and 37% of Men Own a Video Game Console. Wow, knock me down with a feather. It doesn't surprise me in the least that women game just as much as men do but I am shocked that on average they're more likely to own a console.

Jessica Jones: Trailer #2

A couple days ago before I got crazy busy, Marvel and Netflix released the last Trailer for Jessica Jones.

I'm not sure what to add to that. It still looks good? It'll be available on 11/20? You really want me to tell you about how much I like the comic book again or how I'm wondering how they will adapt some of the story lines that involve other big name Marvel Superheroes?

How about we switch it up and I complain about having to work all weekend?

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

So About Those Steam Machines

Valve's first honest attempt at taking over your living room, the much talked about Steam Machines, are finally here. Or at least one is, the Alienware Steam Machine. I've gathered links to a few reviews for your web browsing pleasure. Long story short, the reviews are mixed.

Don't buy a Steam Machine... yet.

What Valve Got Right And Wrong With The Steam Machine.

Alienware Steam Machine review: A gaming PC for your living room.

Alienware Steam Machine Review: PC Gaming With Console Comforts.

Allow me to summarize all of that. Most people like the controller but don't like the menus. The box looks great but it's not incredibly powerful. The biggest kicker I've seen people mention is that the Linnux based Steam OS the Machines run isn't compatible with all the games available on Steam. Steam's entire catalog for the PC is about 6,000 games but only 1,500 of those are compatible with Steam OS. The Verge shows a great table where you can see that out of the 10 most popular games on Steam only one of them is compatible with the Steam Machine There is an option to use the Steam Machine to stream games from your PC to your TV but that requires a hard line connection between both (which at that point why not just run a long HDMI cable to your TV?).

Honestly none of this sounds great to me. I just don't see where the market for the Steam Machine is. If you already run a high end gaming system you probably already have a battlestation and aren't that interested in moving your gaming to the living room. If you don't have a PC the game selection on the Steam Machine is so limited I don't see what the advantage is over getting an Xbox One or a PS4. Yeah it's more powerful than either of those but it's not THAT much more powerful. Is that really worth the trade off of only being able to play a fraction of the games?

Good luck with this one Valve.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

I Hide It

Star Wars Battlefront: Become More Powerful

This video game is going to make a billion dollars isn't it? Like I honestly wonder which is going to make more money. Battlefront or The Force Awakens? I'm guessing even if it is The Force Awakens, Battlefront will turn more profit.

The Greatest Wrestling Entrance of ALL TIME

I know pretty much nothing about Scottish Wrestler Grado but I'll be damned if he doesn't have the greatest ring entrance I've ever seen. This particular entrance from Shug's Hoose Party (????) he channels a bit of Bill Goldberg from WCW but that's not what puts this over the top. It's the 1,000 Scottish wrestling fans singing Madonna at the top of their lungs.

I'm telling you I watched this like 20 times last night and I think I'll watch it 20 more tonight.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Check your Links

I built R2-D2. Oh man, this is one of my two dream projects. First is a full sized arcade cabinet powered by an emulator, the second is an astromech build. I'm like 99% sure I could actually do all the work (minus machining the aluminum dome) but I'm also 99% sure my wife would divorce me if I spent four grand building an R2-D2.

Weird Science’ Star Ilan Mitchell-Smith Talks Babes, Bullies, And Bras, 30 Years Later. I love this stupid movie. It's pretty much any 12 year old's fantasy. Build a sexy British woman with a computer, get super popular at school, throw a kick ass party, have the girl you've been crushing on fall in love with you at the end AND you turn your jerk-ass bigger brother into a slug monster? Sign me up!

Baffled DC Comics Shocked to Learn People Might Want Supergirl Comic Right About Now. This is kind of the most DC thing ever. I don't know what it is about their corporate structure but they always seem like they're never ready to cash in on big events and movie tie ins, or even when they are they somehow muck everything up and it costs them a bunch of goodwill.

Fallout 4 review: Check your next-gen expectations at the vault door. Welp, that didn't take long. Fallout 4 sounds like exactly the kind of RPG I like to steer away from. I have no idea what secret cabal of game developers feels like it's their duty to put gamers through a 30 hour slog before the game really starts to open up and have fun but F that noise. I'll go take my $60 and play Laser Tag instead.

BTW, I played Laser Tag this weekend. OMG that is SOOOOO much fun.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Super Happy Terrific Star Wars Trailer Hour

Hey look, a shiny new international Star Wars trailer, with extra footage and Japanese subtitles! BB-8 Talks! Kylo Ren uses his lightsaber! Poe flies his X-Wing! Chewbacca Blows Shit Up!

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Fallout 4: Launch Trailer

You guys tired of me talking about Fallout 4 yet? Good news, it launches next week so after Tuesday you probably won't hear me talk about it that much. Maybe the occasional "oh why won't Fallout 4 run on my PC?" post. Man this game looks good. I'm hoping Bethesda keeps the storyline a bit tighter than they did Skyrim. I played that game for over 100 hours and I'm like halfway done AND I still have no idea what the plot is supposed to really be.

RIP Metal Bikini (1983-2015)

Big rumor going around the internets yesterday is that Disney is putting the ixnay on all "Slave Leia" merchandise. I can't say this is too surprising but it's kinda surprising. On the surprise scale it's like a three and a half.

There was a bit of a kerfluffle when the Black Series Slave Leia figure shipped out a few months ago. A parent raised the internet's proverbial eyebrow with a sort of "look at the smut I found in the toy section" post to facebook. The controversy didn't have much legs because most fans understand that the Black Series of figures is marketed to adult collectors, it's not a kids toy. Yeah they keep them in the toy section but that's more of an indictment on how limiting the merchandise categories of a retail giant like Target can be. HOWEVER...

The golden metal bikini is problematic, it's a sexualized take on a strong female character in a movie that appeals to children. I don't find it offensive but that doesn't mean that there aren't people that do. In fact until that episode of Friends I didn't even know that outfit was supposed to be sexualized. I just thought the whole point of it was that Jabba was a creep. I was one square kid. Anyway, add Disney into the mix and you don't exactly have to check mapquest to see where this is headed.

In case you're unfamiliar J Scott Campbell is a comic book artist, best known for his "good girl" style of art who has worked on and off for Marvel (owned by Disney) for the last 10 years. He does a lot of special covers for Marvel and if there's some sort of ban on the Slave Leia outfit he would know because he's exactly the kind of artist that would be drawing said outfit.

So here we are. Official/Unofficial confirmation that Disney is discontinuing the Slave Leia costume. It's probably for the best but there's something in the back of my brain that is screaming at me that this is a problem. That somehow this is tied into slut shaming. That there's nothing wrong with showing a woman can be strong and sexy as long as it's not exploitative and gratuitous. I don't know anymore... Rest in Piece Slave Leia, I guess we'll always have Comic-Con.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

No, That Sounds Right

Kirby Krackle: The Day My Powers Arrived

Here's Kirby Krackle, one of my favorite bands, with their new video The Day My Powers Arrived. In case I haven't blogged about this before they have a new album out that you should totally buy. At least give it a listen, it's really really good. Also if you haven't checked out Bandcamp before you should do it. These days I buy almost all my albums through them. Payment is super easy via paypal and you can get higher quality sound files than you find on Amazon or iTunes. Plus from what I've heard more money goes to the artist when you buy on Bandcamp.

That plug for Bandcamp dovetails nicely into some random musings/site business. Kyle Stevens, the lead singer for Kirby Krackle who I've met twice at ECCC so you know we're like best buds, recently posted something on his facebook page about being frustrated with websites that cater to us nerds not being very receptive to independent artists. His point being that without forward thinking independent artists we wouldn't have these amazing nerdy properties that we all love like Star Wars or The Walking Dead.

It's a fair point. In the race for #content there's not a lot of room for the unknown. It's funny, everyone wants to be the first to jump on the next big viral trend but nine times out of ten a site like is still going to go with what's already popular.

What's going to get more page views, an in depth analysis of Rick Remender and Sean Gordon Murphy's new sci-fi comic Tokyo Ghost or a list of top 10 facts about Star Wars that you probably already know? Number 6 is a shocker!

So what can I do about it? Well the first thing I can do is change the way I browse the net. Less Gizmodo and more ArsTechnica, Less Newsarama and more TheOuthousers, etc. It's a small thing but nothing is going to change if the sites that promote the same tired content are rewarded with pageviews. The second thing I can do is try to promote more independent stuff here. I feel like I already do a pretty good job of that with music but I can do better when it comes to the other stuff I post. I don't know, I'm just one man with a blog with like 20 regular readers and I'm pretty sure 10 of those are bots.

Anyhoo, you should really watch this video.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Leaked Links

New 'Star Trek' series to blast off on CBS streaming service. Yay for new Star Trek! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO for this subscription garbage. If you hadn't heard yesterday. CBS has confirmed that they're working on a new Star Trek series. They also confirmed the show would be exclusive to CBS's new streaming service which costs like 6 bucks but offers all the CSI and NCIS spin-offs you could ever want. I'm torqued for a couple reasons. First off the majority of CBS's programming is the reason people pay 10 bucks a month for Netflix. Secondly, and I've bitched about this before, I'm already beyond tired of having to pay for and manage, multiple subscription services.

I have a bad feeling about this. CBS's hoping to drive people to their service by offering a show that appeals to the demo best equipped to pirate said show.

Leaked Screenshots for Fallout 4 on the PC. Sweet Christmas, these screenshots of Fallout 4 for the PC on it's highest (?) setting are pretty fantastic. It's really amazing how they're able to render stuff like trees and dirt so realistically, the future is now.

Netflix’s ‘Iron Fist’ Is Now Rumored To Be A TV Movie. Aw man, this kinda sucks. Iron Fist is awesome and his backstory in K'un-Lun is really interesting and after seeing Daredevil I'm positive Netflix and Marvel could translate it really well. A TV movie is still better than nothing but I'd love to see the Immortal Weapons or the Seven Capital Cities of Heaven translated to more of a long form story.

Return Of The Jedi Was Great, You Ewok-Slandering Fools. I get it, Empire Strikes back is better than Return Of The Jedi but it's not like ROTJ is bad. People that hate on it are just trying to hard to be cool.


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