Friday, April 30, 2010

Goal of the weak

Kei Kamara (sounds like a Korean made car) of the Kansas City Wizards (sounds like a WNBA team) had a sure goal fall into his lap last weekend. What he did with it is the stuff of internet legends.

thanks for Martin for the tip

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The New USMNT kit has no shorts

The USSF premired the new World Cup home jerseys for Los Gringos today, which was boring. Playboy decided to premiere the new World Cup jerseys with a Playboy Playmate, which was much less boring.

The new Jerseys are the "most environmentally-friendly jerseys ever made", made entirely from recycled polyester. Each Jersey has up to 200 tiny laser cut holes, creating ventilation zones on each side of the jersey, on the waistband and near the base of spine to enhance breathability. I've checked the website a couple time and so far I have yet to find the half shirt version shown above. I'm starting to believe Playboy may have doctored the jersey, which is a shame because I would totally pay money to see Clint Dempsey wear one of those.

Jonah Hex looks explodey

The trailer for Jonah Hex hit the interwebs today. I've never read any Jonah Hex comics so I know nothing almost nothing about the character however I hear this is written by the screenwriters of Crank which intrigues me. It also makes a lot of sense considering there's a horse with dual mounted Gatling guns in the preview.

Heard about this Iron Man movie?

So to help celebrate the release of Iron Man 2, Marvel is flooding us with Iron Man variant covers. I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I kinda like the idea. Generally speaking varients are for suckers, and I'm not a fan of having cover art that doesn't match the interior work but in this case I think I can make an exception.

This seems to be a good way to cash in on the movie but at the same time spare us from another Iron Man: Viva Las Vegas.

you can find more covers at TheDailyPop

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Where's the Ammo awarded Links

The 6 best and worst superhero costumes. This list specifically deals with the all important comics to movies jump because these days that's all anyone cares about.

Halo 2 fans refuse to let the dream die. In short; X-Box live shut down support for the original X-Box but there's a small group that refuse to turn off their machines so they can keep playing Halo 2 on-line. amazing.

Underachieving At-Ats. I would pay good money for a Brat-At. As long as it still had those awesome rumble seats in the back.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Star Wars Car Wash was not bad

So I guess over the weekend the fine folks at G4TV put together a little Star Wars car wash, with proceeds going to the make a wish foundation. Of course this is G4 we're talking about, a Star Wars themed car wash seems kinda mundane for them...

...oh I get it, a sexy Star Wars car wash. The 12 year old me is very very excited about this. To bad he doesn't have a car, In your face 12 year old me!

"wait the soap goes where? I get confused"

"mind if I dent your car with my ass? no? I didn't think so"

"lady if you can't get this right just leave, this is a serious fake business here"

anyone else think Storm Trooper #2 is staring just a bit to hard?

"So when I distract this nerd with my boobs you two take his car"

where did this guy come from? stupid title 9

"did you ever hear back about that Staples commercial?"

the Jawas are about to make it rain.

"the suggested donation is $20, if you don't give me $50 I call the Jawas"

you're missing spots!

"really not one slave girl? The emperor's a dick"

Not enough for you? Well you're in luck (and a pervert), more behind the scenes photos can be found here.

Red Dead Redemption Trailer just blew my feeble little mind

I stumbled across this video trailer for Red Dead Redemption last week and I just couldn't believe my eyes. This game looks soo sweet. It's due out May 18th and if it's just half as good as this trailer looks it'll be my game of the year*

* previous games of the year include Frogger, The Black Cauldron and Britney Spear's Dance Beat

Monday, April 26, 2010

Save the Double Downs!

believe it or not, this is the 3rd time I've used this pic

So a couple weeks ago KFC blessed us with a little thing called the Double Down. If you're not familiar with the Double Down it's basically a chicken sandwich where the chicken has been replaced with Bacon and Cheese and the bread has been replaced with fried chicken. Why would anyone do that? Because this is America, we don't have time for meatless buns.

As you might expect the media has had a field day with this most American of Inventions. Depending on who you were listening to, the Double Down is either a sign of the Apocalypse or the reason the Taliban hates our freedom. Of course what everyone fails to recognize is that it's just another fast food sandwich, and an unremarkable one when you actually look at it's nutritional stats.

Here's a quick little graph that compares the amount of fat, sodium and cholesterol that are in the Double Down to other fast food staples using the Double Down as a base.

chart via FiveThirtyEight

Sure the double down is definitely on the heart attack side of this bell curve (yes I know it's not a real bell curve), but there are about a dozen other sandwiches/burgers that are worse for you than the Double Down. Hell the Wendy's Baconator is pure evil weighing in at the equivalent of 2.45 Double Downs and you I don't remember any special reports on the Quizno's Baja Chicken (btw Aryn, you can't order that anymore).

What's my point? Don't listen to anyone on TV. They're all lying to you, especially Mel Kiper Jr.

Best Celebration Ever

So some guy for some team in the middle of nowhere celebrates his goal by punching out all his team mates and then getting shot in the head.. what do you mean he was pretending? I take it back, worst celbration ever.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Ninjas Vs Luchadors

What would you say if I told you that you can get this rad Ninjas vs Luchadors drawing as a t-shirt for the ultra low price of $18? Really? well that's rude and uncalled for.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Eat Fist Hugh Grant

I've been sick all week. This cheered me up to no end.

I had a friend in high school that used to say I looked like Hugh Grant (which I don't at all). Even back in '93 I knew that being compared to Hugh Grant was an insult, so this video is for a 17 year old me.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Power Wheels + Beer = Epic Win

If this story isn't the awesomest thing ever than I don't know what is.

Paul Hutton, 40, was pulled over by police as he drove an electric Barbie car, which moves slower than a mobility scooter, near his home in Essex. Mr Hutton, who has four children Simon, 17, Calum, 14, Laina, 12, and John, 11, admitted being a 'complete twit'.

"It is designed for three-to-five-year-olds. Originally it was a pink Barbie car but I put bigger wheels on it but it's not fast."


The fine folks at the Telegraph go on to say the top speed of the Barbie car is a blistering 4 mph. At least it was before he modified it with a sick new paint job and chromed out rims. Hutton was pulled over while still in the car in front of his own house. He was then found to be over twice the legal limit for blood alcohol content. Since this was his second DUI in the last 12 months they impounded the "car" and a judge revoked his drivers license.

Now I'm not saying I'm stopping by the liquor store and Toy r Us tonight on my way home from work but I'm not saying I'm not either.

This is what I was trying to do

Staring into the face of an 0-4 beating last night. I took a volley at the top of the box very similar to Maicon's goalazo from the weekend. And by similar I mean I didn't have to juggle the ball 3 times and my shot barely rolled to the keeper. Still It totally counted as a shot on goal. Stats don't lie!

Friday, April 16, 2010

.. The Blurst of Times

Having a sick newborn has provided me with ample opportunities to watch absolute garbage TV shows at 2 in the morning. With "..the Blurst of Times" I'll tell you all about whatever horrible abortion of a TV show I watched the night before.

Repo! The Genetic Opera Is every bit as bad as it sounds. Watching it at 3 in the morning last night with an aching back and a sick kid was awful. Lets see if I can come up with a picture from my misc. picture folder that can sum up the night...

.. yep that's it. Repo! is what you'd get if you took a film school dropout, pumped him full of meth and old morissey tapes then asked him to rip-off the musical episode of Buffy. Oh yeah, don't forget to write a part for Paris Hilton!

On a scale of 1 to when I fell asleep, I give this movie a score of "oh God, why are there only boner commercials on at this time of night?!"

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Links to bewilder and confuse

Tim Gunn doesn't like the cut of your cape. Seriously this is a 7 minute long youtube clip of Tim Gunn critiquing Superhero costumes. It's a thousand times better than the last 3 seasons of Project Runway

Big Bang Theory the porno? Believe it or not the trailer is safe for work but it's definitely not safe for your fragile geek mind.

Robocop as a Jesus metaphor. At least that's what director Paul Verhoeven says. And lets face it, the guy directed Robocop and Starship Troopers, if he says Robocop is Jesus who are we to argue?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Killers looks much worse than it sounds

If this poster doesn't make you want to punch a baby penguin then you are blind.. or you're Katherine Heigl, which means you probably punch baby penguins all the time anyway.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Star Wars Uncut

So if you haven't heard of Star Wars Uncut, it's a remake of Star Wars made by fans. The hook is that it was spliced together from hundreds of different fans, who all took 15 seconds of the movie. The end product is pretty awesome. No DVD release yet, but I'm sure you can find it if you just use The Force. The Force in this case refers to torrent sites.

Monday, April 12, 2010

We're off to Outer Space... in an awesomely nerdy t-shirt

Japanese astronaut Socichi Noguchi wore this totally awesome Star Blazers (or Yamato depending on how nerdy you are) T-shirt into space. I'm thinking if he can wear this shirt into space I should be able wear my Captain America t-shirt to Easter. I mean it's my best blue t-shirt!

via ComicsAlliance

Friday, April 9, 2010

Pixels is the Avatar of YouTube videos

I'm confidant I have a really well thought out zombie and killer robot survival plan, but I have nothing if giant tetris pieces just start falling from the sky. No ammount Mountain Dew is going to save me from that.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Girls basketball is less fundamentally sound than advertised

I'm watched this 10 times already and I swear to you it gets better every time.

Augusta's Links

Court Favors Comcast in Net Neutrality case. You know how Comcast makes you pay for 100 channels when all you want is AMC and Fox Soccer Channel? Well get ready for that same business model on the internet.

Megan Fox might play Red Sonja. How is she supposed to hold a broadsword with toe thumbs?

Dead or Alive; Paradise review. "Is this supposed to be a videogame? Are we really meant to masturbate to this? Has anybody at Tecmo actually seen a breast in real life?".. wow best review ever.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Sideline Reporter is pleasantly clueless

To be fair to this guy, have you watched Portsmouth this season? I'd rather watch the stands.

Robot Samurai would like to know if you want fries with that.

My favorite part about this is that whatever restaurant this is decided that they didn't just need a robot to serve food, they needed a samurai robot. Just in case any customers start acting up, I guess.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Dr. Steve Brule would like 30 seconds of your time

So wikipedia tells me that John C. Reilly is a big star, but I don't buy it. I mean how on earth does he end up on Cartoon Network at 2 in the morning? Oh well, Check it out with Dr. Steve Brule premieres August 23rd. I'm setting my DVR now, Im afraid if I don't Dr. Steve is going to find me and molest me.

Crotch Punch + Karate Chop = Red Card

This Goalie is awesome. First he takes down the striker with a open palm strike to the wedding tackle, then he uses a quick chop to the neck to incapacitate said striker. Brilliant play... if only he hadn't gotten caught.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Links w/ +2 Fire damage

The 8 most common ways D&D Characters Die. Man this made me miss Dungeons and Dragons so much. How come no video game has really ever been able to capture the D&D experience? Is it the lack of cheeto dust?

Star Wars Recruitment Posters. These are ok, honestly I just needed a third thing for my links.

The top 10 Air Jordans of all time. When I was in Jr High I wanted these shoes soooo bad. If only I'd had these I'm sure all the girls would have liked me. Thanks for nothing mom and dad.

Nissan Sentra RC car owns real Nissan Sentra

No fooling.. I would totally trade in my sentra for an RC SE-R. I'm not sure how the wife would feel about carpooling.. but just look at how that car does power slides!

more Iron Man 2 in your grill

Finally some new Iron Man 2 footage. These guys really should take a page from Kick-Ass. That movie has released so much footage you could put together a directors cut blue ray already.

Anyway this clip features one of the only good songs by AC/DC post Bon Scott and dancing girls wearing slutty iron man outfits. Basically it's the greatest clip evah.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Shawn Kemp was a man-beast

I miss the Sonics.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Happy Easter from Megalodon 3

If this isn't the greatest scene in the history of cinema I'll eat my hat. Or at least pour catsup all over it. I guess what I'm getting at is that I don't have any hats.

When did Old Spice Commercials become this awesome?

And when did youtube clips become this wide by default? It took me nearly 20 minutes to get this blog looking the way I wanted it. There's no way I'm doing that again just because youtube thinks streaming HD is the way of the future.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Looking at Barack Obama looking at awesome things is awesome

Here you go, an Internet meme two days late. Just be happy I didn't do same lame april fools day joke. OMG it's Justin Bieber, that's so funny!

Check out all the rest at Bearsharktopus-Man


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