Thursday, June 30, 2011

Lego Middle Earth is Redonkulous

If you thought last weeks Lego Rapture was impressive you haven't seen anything. A group of geeks put their collective Lego skills together and came up with an amazing Lord of the Rings Middle Earth display for Brickworld 2011.

I can't even fathom how they built this thing. You know how long I would have to dig around my lego bin just to find that one piece I needed? You know, that one piece, it was kind of slanty and blue. Man I could never find that stupid thing.

Nerds want to letter in Quidditch

Some High Schoolers in Texas are petitioning to have Quidditch added to the schools athletic program. Hit me with the sadness Baltimore Sun:

"People don't really grasp that it's a legit sport. But, everybody thinks, especially at Keller high school, that it's really cool," said Brooklyn George, one of the group's co-founders.

My guess here is that people don't grasp that it's a legit sport because it's not a legit sport. It's a bunch of losers running around with broom sticks yelling "magic missile, magic missile". Also this is exactly the kind of quote you'd expect from a kid named Brooklyn. Seriously who does that to their kid? It's not like my standards are really high, I named my kid Logan after Wolverine. Brooklyn and they live in Texas? Ugh

But I digress. If you haven't seen Muggle Quidditch you're really missing out on a great opportunity to mock some nerds. Here's a report from UCLA on the phenomenon sweeping the campus.

Still It's better than Ultimate Frisbee.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Smashing Links

Mexican Soccer Fans are Boorish Animals. Remember the time in 2005 when Mexican fans chanted Osama during the US National Anthem? Yeah, the Gold Cup in Pasadena last weekend kinda went like that.

The loveliest ladies of the 2011 World Cup. Whatever man, I'm still pissed Lori Chalupny didn't make the squad. Seriously Shannon Boxx is like 87 years old. Why didn't they just cap Kristine Lilly again?

Social Media has overtaken Porn. The official word from whoever keeps track of these things is that people now spend more time on Facebook and Twitter than they do looking at internet porn. Porn clearly needs to try harder.

16 screencaps from Geordie Shore. Douchebags from Newcastle act like Douchebags from NJ. It's amazing... amazing how bad their English is.

Pirate Zeppelins with Cannons.. and the three musketeers

Here's the trailer for the new Three Musketeers movie, staring Orlando Bloom (swoon) and Milla Jovovich ('natch) directed by Paul WS Anderson. I know a lot of people bag on Paul Anderson, but I think he makes killer movies. Ok he's had a couple stinkers like Aliens vs Predator or Resident Evil: Afterlife but he's also made some of the awesomest shlockiest movies ever, like Death Race and Event Horizon.

Anyway, this movie looks awesome and if you don't agree I will fight you*.

*on x-box live

Female armor sucks

To be fair to the guys here, Red Sonja's chainmail bikini covers way more than Conan's loincloth.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Beef hit that

If you are anything like me, you've spent the last 3 months watching 90210 mini-marathons every weekend on soapnet.


Ok, so I'm guessing you haven't. Well let me recap what you missed. Brandon has a gambling problem, Dylan's wife is shot by a mob boss, Kelly gets a series of really awful haircuts and 10 years later David Silver (Brian Austin Green) ends up married to Megan Fox. But wait, that's not the shocking part, the shocking part is that Megan Fox ends up cheating on David Silver with Even Stevens (Shia Labeouf).

Hit me with the deets, Details:

Asked if he hooked up with Fox, LaBeouf nods affirmatively. “Look, you’re on the set for six months, with someone who’s rooting to be attracted to you, and you’re rooting to be attracted to them,” he explains. “I never understood the separation of work and life in that situation. But the time I spent with Megan was our own thing, and I think you can see the chemistry onscreen.” When I inquire about Fox’s status at the time with her longtime boyfriend, Brian Austin Green, LaBeouf replies, “I don’t know, man. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. . . .”—repeating the phrase exactly 12 times with various intonations, as if trying to get it just right. Finally, he says, “It was what it was.”


That my friends is what I like to call a classy answer. I'm surprised he didn't just giggle and make squeeky bed noises.

Hopefully for The Beef he was able to figure out the separation of work and life with his new co-star Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who just happens to be dating Jason Statham. My guess is that the 'Stath won't handle this as well as David Silver will.

Here's a couple bonus pictures of Megan Fox wearing Voltron and Star Wars t-shirts, cause you know.. google.

Papa Smurfy Links

Pictures from global smurf day. Apparently people in Europe still think Smurfs are cool. Of course they also think black socks and shorts are cool.

The supreme court rules video games are free speech. Last night the talking suit on ABC nightly news said that kids would now be able to buy such violent games as Doom, Duke Nukem 3d and Mortal Kombat. I guess they're selling time machines at Gamestop now.

The 7 biggest dick moves in on-line gaming. I really thought this was going to be a list of things people do all the time, like camping at respawn points. Instead it's specific incidents where people playing MMORPGs try to bring down the system, just because they can.

Michael Jackson never sang on The Simpsons. This is big news if you've never actually paid attention to anything YOUR ENTIRE LIFE! It's a pretty well known story that Sony wouldn't let him sing on the show. I mean it was on the DVD commentary for pete's sake.

new Brave trailer

I'm clearly in danger of having my nerd card pulled. I still haven't seen Thor, yesterday I called Amy Pond Emily Pond, and this morning I was completely underwhelmed by the trailer for the new movie from Pixar, Brave. Seriously, everyone on the net has a giant nerd boner for this thing, and I just don't get it. Is it because as a nerdy collective were so starved for a female protagonist we'll embrace anything immediately? Buffy has been off the air now for 8 years. Maybe we're just ready to trade vampires for bears (a movement I can totally get behind).

Monday, June 27, 2011

Amy Pond knows how to party

Actress Karen Gillan, best known to net nerds everywhere as the new Doctor's companion Amy Pond, was reportedly found drunk and naked in a hotel hallway over the weekend. There's a Tardis joke in there somewhere I'm just to lazy to find it.

Take it away eyewitness who totally blew it for everyone by not taking pictures...

The resident, who later identified the stranger as Miss Gillan, said: ‘I went to the peephole and looked out. I saw a man at the lift who was looking back at someone who was attempting to open my door… the next thing I saw was a woman giving this person at my door two towels before getting into the lift and leaving.

‘Then I saw this young woman, completely naked, trying to wrap two towels around her and not having much luck. ‘She then started to whimper and knock on my door. Seeing that she wasn’t getting anywhere, she lay down with the towels covering her.’ Security then arrived, noticed her room key and wrapped her up and took her back to her suite.

via warmingglow

Seriously here, who doesn't at least grab a couple snap shots with their camera phone? I don't say someone is worse than Hitler very often, but this guy clearer is worse than Hitler. Unless of course the eyewitness was a woman, I guess that would make her worse than Eva Braun.

Kirk Fight

I can only assume this ended the way all arm wrestling contests in the WWF end. With Chris Pine getting hit in the back with a chair.

Friday, June 24, 2011

First World Problems

I like this Funny Z guy. He reminds me of me when I was in high school.. I never had enough cereal to make a bowl either.

New Captain America Trailer

I think in my dehydrated codeine induced haze I dreamed that I was the Captain America villain Crossbones. Except instead of fighting Captain America I was a pro wrestler and I was tag teaming with Evan Bourne vs CM Punk and Triple H. It was very weird and hopefully not homer-erotic at all.

Anyhoo, here's the new Captain America trailer. It's only a little homer-erotic, 5 percent tops.

The Rock on Splash Mountain

That is all.

via thebiglead

Thursday, June 23, 2011

30 seconds of the Wonder Woman pilot

I wish there was more to type here than what I already put in the title. Here's 30 seconds of the doomed Wonder Woman pilot.

In unrelated news I finally got to see a groin specialist today and turns out I don't have cancer. Seriously, that's the first thing he said "well it's not cancer". I guess that's the way you want every doctor's appointment to start but it's still a bit unsettling. Turns out all I had was crotch gout.

Links are for Kids

The Lego Super Star Destroyer exists. That's the good news, the bad news is it costs $400 and has over 3,000 pieces. I can't afford it and I would never be able to put it together.

Jason Patrick and Lucy Punch will star in Powers TV Show. I'm pumped this show is getting made. Superheroes + procedural crime drama = Win for me.

10 worst answers for the Best show on Television. No one's saying a shows like Workaholiks or Parenthood aren't good shows, but you're an idiot if you think they're the best shows on TV. That's Justified.. or Archer.. or Parks and Rec.. or Community.. or The Walking Dead.. or Ice loves Coco

Emma Stone to star in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I'm guessing she plays some sort of hot zombie.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Dog Cheated

I bet he went on 2.

Lego Rapture FTW

Uber nerd and super Lego builder Imagine Rigney built this incredible Bioshock diorama for a recent Brickworld convention. This thing is sweet and very timely for me since I just started playing Bioshock last week. Man that's a great game. It really makes me feel stupid for waiting so long to play it. Other things that make me feel stupid: maps, spellchecker, my dvr, children beating me at COD..

Geekologie has the whole write up plus more pictures.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Golden Lasso of Links

The 16 most baffling pieces of Official Merchandise. I actually owned one thing on this list, the Dune Childrens activity book. Even when I was 10 years old I knew it was messed up.

15 things that are way bigger than you think. #16. your momma.

The Doctor is the new Batman. At least on stage he is. Matt Smith played Batman in a play called Gotham Autopsy the other day. One can only assume Utility Belts are now cool.

Christina Hendricks is the new Wonder Woman. Says a director I've never heard of that is interested in making a Wonder Woman movie that has no chance of getting made now that Green Lantern pooped the bed. Still... boobs!

..the Blurst of Times

Having a stomach virus last week provided me with ample opportunities to watch absolute garbage TV shows in between wretchings at 2 in the morning. With "..the Blurst of Times" I'll tell you all about whatever horrible abortion of a TV show I watched the night before (or in this case last week).

Ice Loves Coco might be the best worst reality show of all times. In it a film crew follows a soft drink executive as he battles his addiction to cocaine. At least that's what I remember the first time I watched it while I was dehydrated and wacked out on pain pills. The second time I caught it (conveniently E replays it every 90 minutes) I realized it was about Gangsta rapper turned gritty TV cop, Ice T's relationship to his giant assed-supermodel(?) wife. Who might be a man... I mean she sort of looks manish sometimes.

Anyhoo, they're both hilarious. The show is so stupid it's great. Their bulldog is names Spartacus. What more do you need to know?

On a scale of 1 to when I had to puke again this show scores a very respectable 25 minutes. My wife caught me adding it to our DVR schedule. You could tell she wanted to judge me, but I quickly reminded her that people who watch the Little Couple shouldn't throw stones.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

new Attack the Block trailer

Like any good nerd I love British things. Red Dwarf, the IT Crowd, Madonna, the original Office, Lord British, so I guess it's a given that I'd be super pumped to see Attack of the Block.

I'm hoping British street toughs fighting monsters becomes sort of a film sub-genre. First they fight aliens, then predators, vampires, werewolves.. In ten years SyFy channel will do a made for TV movie where they can fight zombie Vin Diesel. Hooligans vs Zombdiesel. Of course Eric Roberts would play Zombdiesel.

The Green Muppet Lantern

There's a good chance that if I hadn't been recovering from food poisoning this weekend I would have gone out to see Green Lantern, which has been getting killed by the critics. So I guess I should thank Jack in the Box, 13 straight hours of throwing up every hour was totally worth it.

btw, how awesome are these Muppet Show trailers? I don't care if the movie really is in Swedish.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

American Gods gets the Game of Thrones Treatment

So word on the street is that HBO is looking at giving American Gods a giant key to the city. The key being a 60 episode, 6 season commitment, with a total budget of 35-40 Million dollars. That my friends is cray cray. Don't get me wrong, I'm super pumped to see a TV adaption of American Gods, I just can't believe HBO is willing to commit to 60 episodes and a truck full of cash to something as weird as American Gods. I mean we're not talking about proven genres like Band of Brothers or even Game of Thrones. American Gods is this really esoteric morality tale about reincarnated gods that most people have never heard of. It's cool and all, but it doesn't scream smash hit to me. Then again what do I know, I'm wacked out on ultrasounds and codeine right now.

Monday, June 13, 2011

I call minister of Sharks

Andy Samberg is hosting this years Shark Week for the discovery channel. I guess that's cool and all but not as cool as finding out you might have a "sports" hernia. All he gets to do is learn about natures most ferocious killer up close. I'm the one that gets to pay %80 of all my Doctor's bills until I hit my $1,500 deductible.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Kicking in the back Links

Dad embarrasses his son every day for a year. This is sweet. This dad dressed up in a different costume every day for an entire school year to wave at him as the school buss drove by. +1 internet points for the Old Spice guy costume.

Tron Guy gets booed off America's got Talent. To be fair with Tron guy, the most talented person on the judges panel of America's got Talent is Howie Mandel.

NBC wanted to kill Community's D&D Episode. Of course they did, they probably wanted to replace it with an episode all about Jay Leno.

11 more hot nerd costumes that aren't slave Leia. Boobs!

I want to ride my Bicycle..

I was really torn on posting this, it's not really nerdy or anything but it does involve a guy crashing his bike a lot which is hilarious.

Essentially the story here is this guy in New York got a ticket for riding his bike outside the bike lane. Instead of taking the ticket like the menace that he is he makes a little movie about how bike lanes are horribly dangerous. Moral of the story, no more bike lanes.*

*I may or may not have missed the moral of this story.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

DC doesn't know what they're doing

I know, I know, I've been beating the same dead horse all week. Here's the deal, I'll stop harping on DC about their horrible reboots and redesigns when they stop announcing horrible reboots and redesigns.

Above is a promo pic for the new Suicide Squad staring Harley Quinn. Yeah that's supposed to be Harley. Good Grief it's awful. I get wanting to redesign some of the older characters in the DCU but come on man. Some of these are really really awful. There was nothing wrong with Harley Quinn, much less Superman or Batman or any of the other characters Jim Lee tricked them into redesigning.

This is the cover to Teen Titans #1, the guy in the middle? That's Superboy. He now fights crime in a vest, assuming he's taken care of his GTL.

Superman now has kneepads and a belt that holds up nothing, cause you know having his underwear on the outside of his tights was silly.

Ok, honestly I kind of like this redesign for Supergirl. Having a character that can fly wear a skirt was kind of stupid. Also this puts a nail in the coffin on the rumored "pants mandate" (which would be an awesome band name).

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

I'll take a Hahn

If you were hanging around other blogs yesterday (how could you!), you probably have already seen this "most epic beer commercial ever". As advertised it's pretty epic.

E3 Far Cry 3 (trailer)

Here's 7 minutes of gameplay from Far Cry 3. It's due out in 2012 on PC, PS3 and X360, no word yet on Half Life 3.

Stick to the Podcasts Kevin Smith

Kevin Smith (aka Nerd leader #1) is producing a reality show about people that work in and visit his comic shop in NJ, Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash. This is an awful idea. Supposedly the network geniuses at AMC see this as some sort of Pawn Stars meets Big Bang Theory kind of nonsense. I've been collecting comics for about what, 50, 60 years now. And let me tell you, no one is interested in any conversation that happens in a comic shop. Well sometimes I talk we talk Sounders, so I guess if you're an MLS fan you might be interested.. sometimes.

Seriously, the last long conversation I had at the comic shop was about how good the book Scalped is right now and how weird it is that Jason Aaron is writing the snot out of that book but everything else he's written has been pretty uninspired by comparison. Then a 10 year old walked in and bought some Pokemon cards. Now that's Must See TV!

Ok, maybe I'm being too harsh. The Pawn Stars rip-off aspect of the show could be interesting. I'm eagerly awaiting seeing some 35 year old dudes hearts get broken when they find out the 9 copies of Spawn #1 are worth less than the plastic they're bagged in.

Battlefield 3 trailer pooped my pants

I take back everything I said about wanting more lighthearted shooters. MOAR BATTLEFIELD PLEASE!

Overstrike Trailer makes me smile

Something I've noticed about this years E3, everything is a sequel/remake. EVERYTHING. So with that in mind, I probably like this trailer for the new game Overstrike way more than I should. I haven't played an FPS that wasn't all hyper-realistic (outside of TF2) in years. It might be nice to play something a bit more lighthearted for a change. I mean not too lighthearted, I still want to kill guys and shit.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Links are cool

Matt Smith Signs on for another Season of Doctor Who. There's really not much more to this story than the lead suggests. Still it's great news and I wanted to share it. Also if you haven't been watching Doctor Who, or you don't get BBC America, netflix has season 5 streaming. Go watch it.

Michael Bay is not a sexist pig, says Hot Piece. I love the follow up file. So LaBeef said Megan Fox quit Transformers because Michael Bay's relatively sexist. The new female lead no one has ever heard of before being cast in this piece of crap says he's awesome.... I'm sure he is.

Oracle is stronger than Batgirl ever will be. I ranted poorly about this yesterday(I think I edited and re-edited that post about 20 times). This is a far more poignant and coherent argument for Oracle than I could ever write.

Wii U, yeah it's called the Wii U. I'm actually intguiged at the ungodly mess the Wii U looks to be. I have no idea how you're going to play multiplayer games with this thing but it could be really really cool. I really like the idea of being able to play it via the tablet controler while my wife is watching 90210 reruns.


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