Friday, May 29, 2009

Foot meet Face meet Hot Links

That's for the last world cup, Ching

I had a couple more posts I was going to try and shoehorn in before we hit the links for the weekend, but I've got a mow to lawn and weeds that aren't going to spray poison on themselves.

The 30 Greatest Lego Minifigs of All Time (toplessrobot)

Twenty Bizarre Star Wars Ads (gunaxin)

The 10 Most Embarrassing First Pitches of All Time (bleacher report)

The Six Best Ways To Steal Gas... And One Really Bad Way (jalopnik)

6 "World-Changing" Inventions (That Didn't Change S--t) (cracked)

Top 10 Signs the Fellow at Your Door Is a Zombie (npr)

The 10 most common game design mistakes (games radar)

have a great weekend!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Trying hard is for suckers... and champions league winners

Hey remember what it was like when we used to try?

When I play soccer I end up getting mad a lot. On the field I try and keep my huffing and swearing to a minimum, but as my wife will tell you, once I'm back in the car I usually let the swears fly. As hard as I try to remember it's just a game there are 2 or 3 things that can really get under my skin. The absolute foremost of which is when my teammates just stop trying. I don't care how good or bad you are skill-wise, if you don't hustle do everyone a favor and sub yourself out. There's nothing wrong with getting undressed by a player with crazy skills, but letting someone prance their way into the midfield because you don't want to track back is inexcusable.

Let just say that last night I'm glad I wasn't Rio Ferdinand. Manchester United fielded an odd formation that worked really well for them against Arsenel. By my count they had 4 defenders (if you count John O'Shea as a defender) 5 Midfielders and a striker that likes to track back all the time. Still with 4 defenders and 5 mids they couldn't come up with a single guy to guard Silvinho? Or Xavi? Or maybe an extra man to mark Messi? Worse, even with all those guys not getting back to help on defense they still couldn't find anyone open when they did have the ball.

The Red Devil's midfielders didn't just play a poor game, they played a disinterested, lazy game. Maybe they were more interested in seeing the Colosseum later that night than they were in hoisting the cup.

So, Congratulations to Barcelona. Not only did you capture the hearts and souls of every insufferable soccer hipster this year but you captured another trophy to rub in the face of Real Madrid. And Manchester United, next time I leave work early to catch a final it might be nice if you put in a little effort. I'm looking at you Anderson, Carrick, Giggs, Park...

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Deadpool pwns DC.. pwns? am I using that right?

As funny as I think John Hodgman is, those I'm a Mac commercials are starting to border on the obnoxious. However comic book based parodies of those commercials have really hit their stride. This one staring Deadpool and the cast of the Watchmen is pretty darn awesome. Could use more keyboard cat, though...


The day the internet won.

It's taken a lot of dancing babies, shots to the nuts, exploding diet cokes and Rick Astleys to get us here, but today we have finally reached the pinacle of viral videos. Keyboard Gato being played off by Keyboard Cat... Take it away Keyboard Gato!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Hollywood has failed us once again

hey remember how much you liked this show? well screw you

So if you're a nerd and you've been on-line today, I'm sure you've already seen the reports that some chumps at Vertigo Entertainment are planning on a Joss Whedon-less remake of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. No... not the TV show, the Movie.

It's hard to come up with any good commentary on this that just doesn't involve me swearing a bunch.

Lets start with the bright side. Supposedly the director of the original movie is already on board and why wouldn't she be? According to IMDB the last movie she directed... oh wait, I mean the only movie she directed was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I guess we can take some solace in the fact that she did help produce both the Buffy and Angel TV shows.

Now on the not so bright side, this is going to be awful. And not in an almost enjoyable bad movie staring Dylan from 90210 and Pee-Wee Herman as a vampire kinda way. This is going to be worse than Street Fighter 2. In fact this is going to be worse than the new Street Fighter 2 movie that no one could believe was worse than the one that stared Raul Julia and Jean Claude Van Damme.

Monday, May 25, 2009

A Champion Once Again

Wow, Mourinho really knows how to go out on a high note. Honestly, if you watch soccer and you're not hitting play on these every week you don't know what you're missing.

Friday, May 22, 2009

F Yeah! Hot Links

best hat ever? best hat ever...

The hot new trend in blogging these days seems to be the F*ck Yeah sites popping up all over tumbler. So for this Memorial Day weekend I present some of my favorites.

F*ck Yeah Neil Patrick Harris

F*ck Yeah Sharks

F*ck Yeah Taylor Swift

F*ck Yeah Lost

F*ck Yeah Star Wars

F*ck Yeah Beards

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Science fails us all!

I warned you about the zombie killing robot. It won't stop when the zombies are gone

Really? I know Lucas will do anything to make money, but this?

Is this milk for Robots or milk from robot cows? Either way, no thanks.

I hope to God, this is photoshopped.

you keep using that word. i do not think it means what you think it means.

So Kris Allen is your American idol. I guess this is big news. I mean if you read the paper, listen to the radio or watch TV you can't get away from it today. Every Joe Six-Pack and Linda Lunch lady has their opinion on the big finale, so why should this guy be any different?

It seems the consensus is that Kris Allen's win is the biggest upset in idol history. In fact, the term "upset" has been used so much it's starting to get under my skin a bit. How can you label this an upset? Every week we have no idea the specifics of how America voted. For all we know Kris Allen has been beating Adam Lambert by a million votes for the last 4 weeks. If my memory doesn't fail me (and there's no way I'm actually looking this up, so memory is all I have) Kris and Adam were in the bottom 3 and the so called "top 3" an equal amount of times this season. It's not like this is Dancing with the stars, where the competitors get a numerical score from the judges. With the exception of the amount of praise the judges had given to Adam all season long, going into the finale there was really nothing definitive that should have labeled Kris the underdog. I mean are we calling him the underdog just because 10 weeks ago Paula said we'd see Adam in the finale?

A real upset is when your favorite Basketball team has the number one seed in the western conference and you loose in the first round to the Denver Nuggets. Damn you Mutombo!

oh yeah, Adam Lambert and Kate Gosselin totally have the same hairstylist. Am I wrong?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Your Champions League preview (a week early, and without much insight)

If he hits the right striker by "accident" he could be starting again

Rumor has it that the 30 million dollar man, Dimitar Berbatov, won't be starting for Man U in thier champions league final matchup with Barcelona. If true, I can't say it's a big surprise. The Red Devils looked awfully good in the semi-final against arsenal when they played Ronaldo at the top of the line-up and had Wayne Rooney play behind him as a sort of withdrawn striker.

We all know that Sir Alex has serious man love for Park and Giggs. After last years final against Chelsea he said that his biggest regret going away from that game was that he left Park out of the line-up. So, If the spanish press is to believed (yes I know you can't), This year he's going to make up for sitting Park in favor of Giggs last year by playing both men. By moving Ronaldo off the wing and pushing him up to striker he can play Giggs and Park on the outside and still have midfield space for two holding mids in Carrick and Anderson. Let's face it, it might not be Ronaldo's natural position but does anyone doubt his ability to finish at the top of the box?

I guess the surprise here is that Berba has pretty much played himself off the first team. Or is this just a case of Sir Alex picking the line-up best suited for beating Barcelona? In the semis Chelsea proved that if you pack it in and play them really physical it's possible to knock Barca off their game. Personally I would love to see a battle of lazy goal poachers between Berbatov and Thierry Henry. Anything that would save us from the slow, tight possession sort of physical games most finals turn into.

Lego Pirates > Pirates of the Caribbean 3

I think that Legos might be the only kids toy that you can still play with when you're an adult and not look like a complete weirdo. I mean, if you make a mini movie with like a half dozen Lego Mindstorm sets all your friends will be like "hey that's cool pretty cool".

However, if you're sitting in you basement storming the GI Joe Aircraft Carrier with your collection of mint condition Mambas going "pew pew", you probably don't have any friends left to judge you.

~ via topless robot

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Sound Off

Here's what I'm listening to today while I hang our new/old window blinds. It's more than a couple years old now, but what the hey, so am I.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Foot insoles for your feet

I think while I'm on vacation I'm going to declare this billy mays week. I can't believe I ever lived without impact gel.

Friday, May 15, 2009

AC Slater wants you to check out his hot links

Like Major League Baseball in the 1990s, two thirds of all players on Saved by the Bell were taking steroids. It's a fact.

John Minus 9

It was all downhill after the "beard season"

Once I knocked up my wife I almost instantly become an expert on all things child and family related. So what better way to flex my newfound expertism than analyzing the current situation with Jon and Kate Gosselin of John and Kate plus 8 fame. After all Facebook says it is one of my favorite tv shows.

Here's what I think... Get a life. It's a stupid show on basic cable about a family with a bunch of kids, that's it. It's not like these people are running for Pope or anything. The idea that there are websites dedicated to tearing these people apart (they say it's because they really care about the kids), or so called "News Magazines" stalking these people is beyond ridiculous. I mean really, how did this become the big news story of the week? Once I saw Kate's awful haircut pop up on What Would Tyler Durden Do? I knew thing had gone to far. Aren't there more important things for us to worry about like Swine Flu, Miss California or a Zombie Robot uprising?

Still you know John's totally going to leave Kate right? I totally read about it on-line yesterday.

If you Google "Kate Gosselin hair" you get about 20,000 results


Thursday, May 14, 2009

Great art really makes you think

I can think of no better picture for my 200th post than this nun punching a shark. I'm pretty sure she's sticking up for the robot. Sharks are always dicks to robots.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

This'll do in a pinch

These days any new tool for around the house has to fit two very important criteria. Is it functional and will it help me repel the Zombie Hoards?

The Gerber Kick Axe looks like it fits both. Ideally I'd like to see a bit more reach with this axe, but you can't beat the compactness, and for 90 bucks it's even pretty affordable. I wouldn't rely on this to defend my home, but this looks like a great weapon to stash in your desk at work.

Remember a good zombie plan needs to be flexible. Most of us spend at least 8 hours a day at work, you can't just prepare your home. That's why I've been hording mountain dew and jello snack packs in the work fridge.

Move the F over Raptor Island

Because Lorenzo Lamas is back in Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus!

I'm confident in saying that no matter who you are or where you live, this is the awesomest thing you will see today.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The most important woman in the history of the world

I kid you not, my morning news was interrupted by a press conference held by Donald Trump and the Miss USA pagent. The big news (that somehow was more important than sports and traffic) was that Trump was allowing her to keep her position as Miss California, even in the face of a recent "racy photo scandal". If you have 7 minutes of your life you're willing to waste, check out video of the press conference here. Although I'll save you some time. The two highlights were Trump talking about how he's studied the racy photos very carefully (..creepy..) and how Trump is singlehandedly destroying the beauty pagent competition in the TV ratings. Way to go, I guess?

My favorite part of all of this is that it seems every talking head on the radio and the TV has an opinon on our dear Miss Prejean. Depending on which side of the political aisle you're on she's either a patriot of a typical right wing hypocrite. In the last couple weeks she's been criticized in the press for getting plastic surgery and is rumored to be dating michael phelps. Lets face it, this is an amazing ammount of press for a beauty queen best known for her strong support of opposite marriage. All of the sudden it's like the whole country has forgot what a beauty pagent is. Some people are acting like she's running for political office. I'm not totally familiar with how the Terminator is running California but I don't think Miss California has her finger on the button. She doesn't, does she?

What's my point? If I could combine Miss California with Zombies and Swine flu into one bikini filled post, I would easily triple my daily hits.

Fake guitars really should cost as much as real guitars

Here you go Loren, Logitech's new solid wood and metal Rock Band controller looks like it won't break right away. The only downside is that it costs 200 bucks. Of course you could just save that money for the upcoming DJ Hero. That should be fun for like 15 minutes.

Monday, May 11, 2009

New Team Strategy... Wormholes

This week Arsene lays out his plan for winning the Champions League and Sven introduces us to Special 1 Tv; Sweden eddition.

Mystery Solved: nerds everywhere move onto fresh arguments

So in a previous post (To boldly fail where no man...) I posed the question. What the heck did JJ Abrams do to our beloved Orion Slave girl? Well after seeing the movie this weekend, mystery solved! The above picture is indeed straight out of the movie, however it's not a picture of Diora Baird or really even the Orion Slave girl. Apparently the lovely Diora Baird was cut from the final print of the movie. In her place we had the also lovely Rachel Nichols playing the part of generic green starfleet academy student Kirk "romances". So no Orion slave girl, and no Diora Baird. Sorry nerds..

Also to add insult to injury Rachel Nichols will be killing nerd boners everywhere when GI Joe: Rise of Cobra hits theaters this summer. She plays Scarlet, but like every other character in the movie, she looks more like an extra from the Matrix.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Hot links!

Trust me squirel flu is next...

Facebook Konami Code, Pirate Language (geekologie)

My Little Pony: The Action Movie! (everywhere)

Oh Shut Up, Paula (warming glow)

The (soccer) Shirt Off My Back (weekend warrior)

Norm MacDonald On Letterman FTW (the next level)

Do you have swine flu? (

have a great weekend!

Rubberduckzilla for the win!

I don't even know what this is an add for, but I'm totally buying it.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

I could have had this wedding

Ok so my wedding was pretty great, church, flowers, family, you know the whole nine yards. But how awesome would it have been if I could have had my dream wedding, the Star Wars wedding!

Most Star Wars weddings you see on-line look kinda lame, or if they make the Luke/Leia Bride/Groom mistake looks extra creepy, but Tiger and Issa's is super classy. The Storm Trooper inspired dress is great looking, and the Death Star centerpieces are really awesome. And who wouldn't love a lightsaber showdown after exchanging vows?

More pictures can be found on the photographers website.

Michael Ballack has a polite discussion with a referee

Even though I ended up watching the entire thing in fast forward last night, I could tell the champions league game between Chelsea and Barcalona was pretty epic. There were lots of great moments (Essien's goal was redonkulous) but my favorite moment by far was when Michael Ballack pleaded with the Ref for a PK. It's a pretty impressive act of begging. I think it was the hardest he ran the entire night.


Drogba had far less polite discussion with the viewers at home.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I've had just about enough of your vassar bashing young lady

Apparently playing Ultimate Frisbee and attending amateur poetry readings are to 1990s for today's college students. These days its all Quidditch all the time...

Every generation has its embarrassments. Mine has to live down flannel shirts, baggy overalls with only one shoulder strap, Kid n' Play, and the original 90210. But thank goodness we don't have to try and explain to our kids how much fun we used to have chasing a soccer ball around the quad while straddling a broomstick.

Gears of War 2: The Search for More Money

When did I become a sucker? Microsoft and Epic Games just announced seven new multiplayer maps and a new single player chapter to Gears of Wars 2. It's called the All fronts collection and it should be available in stores and on x-box live in june for about 20 bucks.

20 bucks for new maps? That seems kinda stupid and a bit insulting. I'll admit it's been about 4-5 years since I've done any real PC gaming, but there's no way I would have paid any ammount of money for new Team Fortress maps or an hour long "expansion level".

Think about it this way, for 20 bucks would I rather have a handfull of new maps or a used game? Last time I was at Gamestop 20 dollars could buy you BioShock, Assasins Creed, Mass Effect or the Orange Box. Heck you can pick up Dead Space for about 30 dollars and that game's not even a year old.

When X-box live launched this was one of my big fears. That game makers were going to find a way to nickle and dime gamers to death. The scary part is it totally works. The second a big title hits the shelves developers are already working on DLC. Oh well, maybe I just need to put down my buggy whip and stop complaining. I hear they're coming out with new games for the Atari Jaguar anyway.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Crooked Little Vein; the book review!

Every once in a while I put down the video games and actually read a book. I picked up Crooked Little Vein in the bargain pile at Barnes and Noble the other day based off nothing but Warren Ellis' (the authority, transmetropolitan, astonishing x-men) reputation. I'll be snookered if this book didn't have me hooked right from the beginning. It's not a very long book. It's only about 220 pages, but Ellis sure uses those pages to mass effect.

The basic plot revolves around a hard luck private detective who is hired by the president's heroin addicted chief of staff to retrieve the Constitution of the United States. Not the regular old boring constitution but the "real" constitution (the one with invisible amendments) created by some of the Founding Fathers as a fallback for their great experiment.

Saying this book is a "seedy journey across America's underbelly" sounds cliche, and doesn't really prepare you for what's in it's pages. There's some really messed up stuff in the book, but somehow Ellis is able to tackle subjects like tantric ostrich parties or godzilla porn with humor and a bit of empathy for the participants.

Anyhoo its a good book, if you're thinking about picking it up just read the first paragraph in the store. It'll be painfully clear if this is your kinda book after that.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Merry Star Wars Day!

In honor of Star Wars Day I present you some fun star wars pics I've been saving for when I run out of ideas.

Sven has the Pig Flu

Last weeks episode of Special 1 TV was kinda lame, so I decided to skip posting it. However, this week they're back with a vengence.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Hot Links!

In all honesty I didn't really bring it this week. Of course neither did any of these guys, but if you have some time to kill check out a few of these posts.

Free Comic Book Day! (

Ten Cars That Crashed Chrysler Into Bankruptcy (jalopnik)

Seven Cars That Killed Pontiac (jalopnik)

The Ten Greatest Pontiacs (yes jalopnik again)

Brazilian Soccer Players, what's wrong with you guys!? (the spoiler)

In defence of playing defence (the offsides)

The 10 Most Shameful RPG Dice (topless robot)

Have a great weekend!


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