BABYMETAL - ギミチョコ！！- Gimme chocolate!! (OFFICIAL)

I've been listening to a lot of Babymetal today at work. No one, and I literally mean no one on my floor, is in the office today so I have free range to crank up my music as loud as I want. At some point someone is going to wander in here looking for someone else and they're going to be very confused.

Pussy Noodle!

I know this is a fake commercial for some TV show on Netflix called Lady Dynamite but I desperately want it to be real. Lets all pretend it's real.

LADYBABY「ニッポン饅頭 / Nippon Manju

Have you heard Ladybaby's newest album? You can get the new CD+DVD for just 1,200. I'm not sure if that's yen, dollars or units of the blood of lost souls but either way it seems like a deal.

The Cup o Noodles Samurai has crazy soccer skills

Remember last week when I was talking about big events and how it's an excuse for lazy marketing people to shout out "hey remember our completely unrelated product when enjoying the World Cup"? No? Well allow the Nissin Cup O' Noodles samurai to dazzle you with his footie skills. Don't forget nothing going better with the world cup than dehydrated noodles and condensed chicken broth!

Japan has a Pokemon World Cup Jersey

That's right Japan has a world cup Jersey with Pikachu on it because of course they do. I love it. I know I haven't talked about it much on here but I'm super super pumped for the World Cup this year. I know the USMNT has as much of a chance getting through their group as I have getting through the opening scene in Star Trek without crying but who cares? It's the World Cup baby! International soccer at it's highest level!

I plan on enjoying at least three quarters of the tournament at home sitting on my couch in my underwear eating a big block of cheese. It's the summer of Kevin!

Links, for Science!

All of Art & Science Has Culminated in Kate Upton's Zero-G Bikini Shoot. This is not click bait at all, this is your yearly reminder that magazines (specifically sports illustrated) still exist. I don't know about you but can you imagine waiting a week to receive all your sports news? A WEEK! In 2014 terms a week is forever. Ever issue might as well read as a best of the previous year. Even the swimsuit issue makes zero sense to me. Almost every picture has already popped up on imgur (more on that later this week), why would anyone actually pay to look at what's so free on the internet? Are these marketed exclusively to children that can't figure out a way to get around their parents porn blockers? That can't be that big of a market. 10-15 kids tops?

We’ve Witnessed The Greatest Pro Wrestling Entrance Ever. It Involves Giant Swords And A Velociraptor. Kazuchika Okada of New Japan Pro wrestling destroys the best Pro Wrestling entrance with the inclusion of an animatronic dinosaur. At least I assume it was an animatronic dinosaur. I guess it could have been a real one. Japan has those crazy square watermelons. As far as I can tell breeding Dinosaurs is pretty much the next step after square watermelons.

BTW, the picture above isn't from said entrance. It's just from some press conference. So animatronic velociraptor press conference is also a thing in Japan.

Horse: The Jalopnik Review. You know what's sort of ironic about horses? Most have more than one horsepower. Sure by definition a single horse should have a single horsepower but since horsepower has become a scientific measurement of power most horses have more than one. And that folks is why I'm awesome at trivial pursuit.

Nerf Zombie Strike Toy Weapons Are the Best Defense Against the Imaginary Undead Uprising. I'm a bit torn on Nerf guns. On one hand I feel like I don't really want my son playing with guns. It kind of sends the wrong message about gun safety. On the other hand kids pick up a stick and they turn it into a gun so why try and stop the tide? Maybe when he's 11 or 12 we'll take a couple gun safety courses together so that we can go hog wild on nerf guns.

Sex Godzilla: The Trailer

Ok, so my kanji is a little rusty. There's a chance this movie isn't called Sex Godzilla. Honestly, Sex Godzilla is probably a lot punchier than what ever it's really called anyway. What else would you call a movie about a female pilot that gets "excited" every time she battle a Kaiju that looks suspiciously like Godzilla?

Hentai Kamen Tralier (english version?)

I have no idea what this is but I do know funny when I see it. Also that's a dudes butt.

.. The Blurst of Times: Highschool of the Dead

Having the Hanta Virus (or something slightly less lethal) all week has provided me with ample opportunities to explore the depths of Netflix instant in between coughing fits while hoped up on Nyquil and codine. With "..the Blurst of Times" I'll tell you all about whatever horrible abortion of a TV show I watched the night before (or in this case last week).

Highschool of the Dead had me at the title. Two things you probably already know about me: I love Zombies and over the last 2 years have watched almost every episode of 90210. Even the really terrible post college ones when Brandon leaves and they bring back Dylan. Woof, those episodes are terrible.

Anyhoo, Highschool of the Dead (yes it's supposed to be misspelled) is about a bunch of kids dealing with a zombie invasion during 4th period. The show throws you right into the action, with a small group of kids already on the run from a zombie horde. The animation is pretty tight, they cut a lot of corners by using these sort of styalized still shots. You've seen them if you've watched any adult swim. The kind where a character covered in blood stands all heroic with just a small lock of hair moving in the breeze. The English dub is pretty good too, the acting isn't the best but whoever translated the show did a decent job.

It's been a while since I've really watched any anime, but I don't remember them being this jiggly. Seriously the boobs they are a bouncing in this. There's no nudity or sex, at least not yet but sometimes it feels like I'm watching Dead or Alive Zombie Beach Volleyball the movie. I think if my wife saw me watching it she'd just point and laugh at me.

On a scale of 1 to Battle Royale, Highschool of the Dead scores a baseball bat to the side of the head. It's not a headshot but it more than gets the job done.

Best Worst Tetris Ever

This rigged game of tetris is a pretty good representation of how my week has gone. I feel like I've been set up to fail at work, have been dealing with some health and money problems and then on the first morning of my four day weekend I find out my son's daycare is closing. Seriously life, where did the stick go?

New Star Blazers cartoon

Last year Japan got a pretty awesome live action Star Blazers (or Spaceship Yamato) movie. Next year they're getting this awesome looking animated tv show. You know what we're getting over here in the states? Nothing, in fact they're canceling Community.

I'm moving to Japan.

Yakuza Weapon looks slightly entertaining

I wasn't going to run with this, but good gravy there is nothing happening today.

In the long standing tradition of Japanese gore fests I bring you Yakuza Weapon. In it some dude gets blown apart by a gatling gun, only to be put together as the most awesomest Yakuza Weapon. It's kinda like RoboCop but with less Chrysler Sebrings.

This trailer has been making a lot of hay on the net today, but am I the only one that thinks it looks like a complete rip off of Machine Girl?

oh yeah I guess this is NSFW. I mean it's safe for Youtube so you know.. whatever that means.

Star Blazers: The Dance Routine

I saw this over at toplessrobot yesterday and it just proved two things. First, I'll pretty much post anything Star Blazers related. Second... ummm Did I already mention I'll post anything Star Blazers?

2 Minutes from Star Blazers

Argh! Why did I take Spanish in high school instead of Japanese? You know how many times I've been to mexico? Once, and everyone there spoke english. No one was impressed that I knew how to ask for directions to the shoe store.

Zombies are politely invading Japan

Someone awesome in Japan thought it would be a good idea to trick some children into thinking a zombie was attacking them and then film it. Turns out the video isn't just entertaining but It's pretty informational too. I had no idea zombies were so polite in Japan. Here in the states they almost never send a hand written letter to let you know they're coming. Here you're lucky you get a text.

oh yeah, to the kid who throws the gun; Live it up while you can, if this was real you'd be dead.

Big Tits Zombie is a real thing

So here's the UK trailer for Takao Nakano's adaptation of Rei Mikamoto's cult manga Kyonyo Dragon. Which somehow translates to "Big Tits Zombie". I could go all into the description and the cast, but do you really need to know more than "Big Tits Zombie"?


yeah I didn't think so.

Star Blazers movie is now Blazier

Honestly I could care less if this Star Blazers trailer is almost identical to the last Star Blazers I posted a few months ago. This one has 2 seconds of the wave motion gun. 2 seconds! I think I could could just watch those in a loop over and over until my brain turned to mush.

Wonder Woman doesn't have the internet

So Wonder Woman #600 got tons of press for the unveiling of her new costume. Of course there was hardly a mention of this awesome Japanese tentacle porn joke. Where are our priorities?

Yamato!!!

Holy crap, the full trailer for Space Battleship Yamato (Star Blazers in the states) looks freaking amazing. I wish I could go back in time and kidnap 7 year old me so he could see how awesome this is. Then I'd make him pull some weeds, my lawn is looking a bit ragged.

Robot Samurai would like to know if you want fries with that.

My favorite part about this is that whatever restaurant this is decided that they didn't just need a robot to serve food, they needed a samurai robot. Just in case any customers start acting up, I guess.