Link-nado

G.I. Joe Creator Sues to Regain Rights to $100 Million Copyright. Good luck buddy. Maybe he'll get a settlement out of this but so far creators doing work for hire haven't had much luck in the courts getting ownership of their creations back. This case is a little different as the GI Joe creator says he independently came up with the idea of the original GI Joe doll and THEN he pitched it to Hasbro. I don't know, I'm just a simple caveman, your world frightens and confuses me...

The Oath Keepers Are Ready for War with the Federal Government. And now onto some guys that think they're GI Joe. Have you heard of the Oath Keepers? These guys are nutso. They're the literal interpretation of the 2nd amendment taking up arms against the government to protect the constitution. Warning, this is a super long read but I think given the current political climate it's well worth the time. Just remember the next time some kid is shot by a police officer because he was holding a toy guy that just a few months ago these guys drew guns against federal officials at Cliven Bundy's ranch and not one of them was arrested. USA USA USA.

Director Richard Donner On The Legacy Of ‘The Goonies,’ 30 Years Later. Another really LONG read, sorry about that. Still if you feel like getting your nostalgia on you could do worse than spending 15 minutes reading about The Goonies.

‘Firenado’ caused after lightning strikes bourbon-filled pond near Jim Beam facility. You know the old story; bourbon warehouse is hit by lightening, bourbon spills into pond, lightening hits pond, pond ignites into flames, wind causes fire tornado... it's really a tale as old as time.

Hey, wha?????

This is me right now, trying to kill shit with a sweet ass throwing star and then some damn bird swoops in and snatches it right out of the gdamn air.

Close Air Support

The Air Force has been putting out these promotional videos showing off some of their swag. In this video Members of the 25th Fighter Squadron demonstrate what Close Air Support is all about, from the seat of an A-10C. It's not the kind of thing I usually post here but the A-10 as the Cobra Rattler was one of my favorite GI Joe toys so the judges will allow it.

Collecting Links

Abandoned White Castle from Harold & Kumar. This is a pretty cool look at what's left of the White Castle from Harold and Kumar. Boy remember how good that movie was and how bad the sequels were? It wasn't even a slow crash like the Austin Powers movies it was just thump... nothing. I'm amazed that they even made a third movie, there can't be enough weed in the world to make that one bearable.

A Moment for the G.I. Joe Rawhides, HASBRO Class of 1987. The GI Joe class of 1987 was pretty much right in my sweet spot for toy collecting. I was old enough to have a good allowance but young enough to still be playing with toys on the regular.

Hilary Duff’s Tinder Profile Is Real, I’m Not To Be Disturbed. A couple weeks ago there was a "mystery" celeb who was on reddit complaining about how hard it was to date while being famous. I'm not saying it was Hilary Duff because it was probably just some rando who was pretending to be famous for fake internet points...

or it was Hilary Duff.

Gabe Newell addresses controversy over paid Steam mods. Long story short, you can now buy mods to some of your favorite games through Steam. Gamers DO NOT like this.

2014, Back to the Future

Based on just the overall number of posts, 2014 was actually the least productive year I've had blogging since I started. I think I did a lot more reviews and long form ramblings than I have in past years. So I guess it's a trade off. Less posts but they take like a minute and a half to read instead of 30 seconds. I guess that's progress? I don't know man, I'm barely awake this morning.

So, without any further pomp and circumstance, let's take a look at the most popular or memorable posts of 2014.

I forgot I even wrote this post on Fantasy GI Joe Draft Rankings. I think I had plans on making this a big series of rankings and never got around to it.

2014 showed us the some of the worst the internet has to offer in The Fappening and Gamergate. The ring of hackers trading on celebrity nudes had been rumored for years but it's one thing to hear about something it's another to actually see it. Anyone that has any sort of internet connected device should be terrified of the Fappening. Anyone can steal anything, it's horrifying.

As always, Cosplay posts get lots of hits. ZOMG Cosplay is Killing Conventions! and Emerald City Comicon 2014 Cosplay Showcase both got a lot of hits. Maybe in 2015 I'll double down on Cosplay. I can practically taste that $100 pay out from adsense.

Back in my 2013 wrap up I predicted that the new generation of consoles would roll out a bunch of titles that really blew away the launch ones and have me jonesing for a PS4 or Xbone. Man was I wrong. Sure, there are some nice looking new games out there but most stories revolved around nerfed graphic settings or buggy launches. Except for the WiiU. Have you played a WiiU? The new Mario Kart is the heezy for sheezy.

My High School Reunion: The Review. Sweet Christmas, when did I get so old?

Squirt Guns: The Review. I guess whenever I started reviewing squirt guns?

Anytime I can take a subject that's making some hay on the internet and turn it into a post about me I'll do it. Too much Puff not enough Power with these girls is a perfect example of this. Can't critique someone else's art without talking about my own!

2014 was a weird year to be a nerd. The #1 movie of the year stared Groot and Rocket Racoon so it's not like nerds had it rough or anything but there's still this undercurrent of exploitation you have to deal with. She Hulk is a Porn Star and you're a nerd pretty much sums that up. The guy that co-wrote the Batman trilogy just throws shade on a whole slew of nerds without realizing he moved into a glass house. It's like it's cool to be nerdy but only if you're the right kind of nerd.

The Belgians Booty Rock Dvořák's Sypmphony No. 9 was a very popular post for reasons. In fact there was a lot of ass shaking in 2014, like a lot.

I could have included any number of posts on comic book movie casting but this one on From Wonder Woman to Mockingbird was the big winner for the year. It's almost like if you post pictures of attractive ladies you get more hits. I know, I know that sounds crazy but you can't argue with science.

And now just for fun, here are the top 20 search keywords:

nicole scherzinger boobs
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Nicole scherzinger boobs? Cosplay nip slip? Abbey Clancy ass? Jimmy Fallon hair loss? You're all a bunch of perverts aren't you?

Here's to a fantastic 2015, with your help maybe we'll find that nicole scherzinger sex tape everyone is looking for.

Fantasy GI Joe Draft Rankings

Today marks the 50th Birthday of GI Joe. In celebration I'm reusing a post from way way back in 2010. Remember 2010? People were all upset about the end of Lost, the next generation of gaming consoles was a blip on the horizon and I only had one child. Good times.

One of the best things about GI Joe figures (especially when compared to Transformers) were how portable they were. Nothing beat heading over to your friends house with a lunch box full of your favorite Joes and having an epic battle. Unless your friend was a huge jerk that didn't want you playing with their toys, you always started the battle by pooling all your toys together on the floor and picking them playground style.

So without further exposition here's your 2009 GI Joe Fantasy Toy Draft rankings.

Snake Eyes - A Ninja with a Uzi? Why not just give kids an Atari made of Pixi sticks. There was no single toy in the 80s as cool as Snake Eyes.

Storm Shadow - If you didn't pick Snake Eyes with the first pick, you picked Storm Shadow. Especially if it was the cooler 2nd generation Storm Shadow that came with a ninja bow.

Roadblock - Roadblock came with a ridiculously huge gun, which made him a real powerhouse on the imaginary battlefield. If you could really sell it, Roadblock alone could take out anything from a Trouble Bubble to a Hiss Tank.

Zartan - Zartan was awesome, He changed color in the sun and came with what looked like a speeder bike from Star Wars. The only problem with Zartan is you were doomed if you tried to use one of his disguises to infiltrate the enemy. 11 year olds are dumb, but they're not that dumb.

Destro - If the choice is Destro or Cobra Commander there's no doubt you're taking Destro. The GI Joe cartoon really drove home the point that CC had no idea what he was doing. Plus Destro has wrist rockets.

Gung-Ho - Grenade Launcher + Huge Chest Tatoo = Awesome. Gung-Ho was one of the earliest characters to have visible biceps, so you know if he ran out of grenades he could always punch out a ton of Cobra Officers.

Flint - Flint just looked cooler than most Joes. I mean who would you rather have leading your troops. Hawk or Duke? No thanks, lets give the guy with the beret a shot.

Stalker - Stalker doesn't get the love he should. He has all the ninja training of Storm Shadow or Snake Eyes combined with the smooth moves of Billy Dee Williams. Stalker was always a good value pick in the later rounds.

Lady Jaye - Lady Jaye was the girl to pick. Sorry Baroness and Scarlet but Lady Jaye looked like she belonged on a battle field. Plus if you stared at her long enough you swear you saw a bit of cleavage.

Firefly - Firefly was the perfect counter to any friend with one of those ungodly sized playsets, like the GI Joe Space Shuttle or Aircraft Carrier. All you need to do is pull out Firefly and his tool kit backpack and you've rendered your enemies base useless.

Shipwreck - Shipwreck came with a parrot and what looked like a flintlock pistol from days of yore. He was about a thousand times cooler than his maritime counterparts Cutter and Wet Suit.

Wordburglar: Rap Viper

Last year Wordburglar, my favorite rapper from Halifax, dropped a sick album titled Welcome to Cobra Island. Sadly I haven't had a lot of time to listen to it yet. I'm driving a new/old car that doesn't have a USB hook up so I have to burn CDs like a caveman to listen to anything and It's been hard to find that time or motivation to do that. I hear the album at work every once in a while when it comes on at random but I try to keep the sweet beats turned down so my office doesn't get to hyphy.

What I'm trying to get at is that you should watch this video. I promise you it's better than GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra.

GI Joe: Retaliation, the 8-bit version

Here's GI Joe: Retaliation retold as an 8-bit side scroller. It's pretty cool but here's my problem with it. There's no way this is an 8-bit game. This is what someone remembers and 8-bit game looking like. No chance your NES would be able to display that many colors without everything flickering like crazy.

Still I would like to play this on my phone or my Kindle. Someone get on that stat!

Reminder: I'm very excited about GI Joe: Retaliation

Every time someone says that GI Joe: Retaliation looks like shit I get super indignant and say something to the effect of "Snake-Eyes shoots throwing stars out of the air with a uzi. your argument is invalid".

So without further ado, here's the scene where Snake-Eyes shoots throwing stars out of the air with an uzi. It's everything I want a GI Joe movie to be.

New GI Joe: Retaliation Trailer

A newer, longer (that's what she said) trailer for GI Joe: Retaliation hit the web this morning. 2 words: Rocket Motorcycle. Seriously, this looks a thousand times better than the assy Rise of Cobra. How do you make a movie with Sienna Miller as the Baroness suck so bad?

BTW, prepare to read me bitching about the new Blogger dashboard all week long. I know my work computer is slow (Pentium 4 baby!) but it's barely even usable. Right now I've been typing for about 45 seconds and still nothing's even shown up on the screen. Damn it Google, it's crap like this why I bought a windows phone.

Hungy Hungry Links

New Hunger Games Trailer. I finished reading the Hunger Games last week, it was ok. I understand why it's popular with teenage girls but it never really clicked with me. It's sort of like Twilight except instead of sparkling the dreamy guy smells like bread.

The 5 most rediculously sexist superhero costumes. Good read, but how one earth can you leave off Bomb Queen? Is it because she's a super-villain or is it because she's super-awesome?

ComicsAlliance critiques the fashions of G.I. Joe. Looking back on it, most GI Joe costumes don't hold up very well. I guess flared pants and cod pieces peaked in the 80s.

It's a good day to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fan. These new TMNT toys look amazing. I can already tell Christmas 2012 is going to be full of hard decisions. I might have to sell some blood to get my hands on the sewer playset. For my son of course.

GI Joe 2 looks good.. there I said it

Lets put it this way, if G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra had never been made you would be pumped and jacked for G.I. Joe: Retaliation.

Snake-Eyes shoots down Storm Shadow's throwing stars with an Uzi. Case closed.

Christmas List: 22-Inch Baroness

Every day in December I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

If you have an extra $350 burning a hole in your pocket I'd be ever so grateful if you bought me this 22 inch G.I. Joe Premium Format Figure Baroness figure. The hand-finished figure features a fabric costume, a sidearm holster with an 1911 .45 caliber pistol, an AR Assault Rifle, and a Sideshow Exclusive: an additional hand with MAC-10 Machine Pistol for alternate display.

I have a pretty cool toy collection in my office at work. I think this would go great next to my 12" inch Dr. Doom...

Christmas List: A GI Joe movie that doesn't suck

Every day in December I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

I'm a little late with today's pick. I saw this trailer for the new GI Joe movie late last night and I knew I wanted to bump the gift I already had queued up. Now I know the last GI Joe movie sucked balls, but oh man does this trailer for the sequel have my hopes up.

Seriously, Ninjas fighting on the side of a mountain. How can you not love that?

Knowing is half the Links

The Greatest Comic Book Cover blurbs. Why does the Punisher need a jet ski? And why am I the one renting it to him? So many questions.

20 Unaplogetically Awesome Tramp Stamps. I don't know, I think a couple of these need to apologize.

Boyd Crowder joined Cobra. Or more specifically Walton Goggins signed up to be in the GI Joe sequel. Am I crazy or does the next GI Joe movie have a good cast? Bruce Willis, the Rock, Ray Stevenson, the RZA.. ok maybe not.

Vegetable Jabba lords over your Sushi. As long as nothing on my plate looks like the sarlacc pit, I'm in.

G.I. Joe: Cobra

So last Friday I took a long lunch and went to ye old Comic Book Shop (more specifically Dreamstrands in greenwood) and I picked up a couple issues of GI Joe: Cobra (I'm dropping the periods in GI because typing them is a butt). I've been hearing for the last few months that this book is pretty awesome but it wasn't until I saw a piece of art from it last week that I finally decided to pick up a couple issues.

Yeah, that's Cobra Commander eating lead. Not dying in an avalanche or disappearing in a plane crash. That is him straight up getting shot in the face. Like most man-children of my generation I've been a GI Joe fan for forever and have a lot of love for these characters. Killing off one of the big names is going to get my attention, which I'm guessing was the whole point of this, right?

As it turns out, the attention was well warranted, this is an outstanding book. I can't recommend it enough. Never in a thousand years would I have thought I would enjoy a comic book where Cobra Commander waxes philosophic about cognitive dissonance (to Chuckles of all Joes) for 30 pages. If you're headed over to my house anytime soon try and borrow these. If you don't actually know me please do not come over to my house.

The 7 best Christmas presents I ever received as a kid

Robotix
Robotix are a criminally underrated toy from the 80s. My parents got me the big set which came with like 5 motors, a huge battery pack and the switch pad you see above. You could make all kinds of crazy toy eating robots with one of these.

GI Joe Killer WHALE
If you really wanted to get the most out of your Joes you needs some kind of huge vehicle or playset. The one I had was the Killer WHALE, it held something like 9 figures, and had all kinds of cool moving pieces. The only thing I hate about it now is that if you want to buy one now it's like 200 dollars on ebay.

Zaxxon
Kids these days don't know how lucky they are with their DSIs and Sega Game Gears (they still make those right?). Back in the day this Zaxxon table top arcade game was the coolest thing in portable gaming. It had an LED display that was pretty craptastic but was still a huge upgrade from those black and white tiger electric handhelds that were everywhere in the 80s.

A-Team Rough Riders
Sometimes a simple toy is the best toy. Rough Riders were little cars that ran on a single AA battery. Most had two exciting modes of action, forwards and stop. The real fancy ones like the A-team set I received had a reverse. The best part about Rough Riders is that with them anything from a bathroom floor to a kitchen table became a sweet rally course.

Bard's Tale III
Ok so technically speaking I bought Bard's Tale III myself at a Babbages in Joplin Missouri, but I did it with Christmas money so it totally counts. The thing that was so memorable was that I bought it while I was on Christmas vacation 2000 miles away from my beloved Apple II. By the time I actually got to play the game I had memorized the instructions and the map front to back.

TI-99
Again not technically a gift for me, this was a gift for the entire family. The TI-99 was my Dad's last grasp at staying ahead of the technology curve. It was pretty much all blinking 12:00s on the VCR from this point on.

As far as I can remember my dad never rocked a yellow headband but I'm positive I had that pink sweater.

Lego Space Buggy
This was the most elaborate Lego set my parents ever bought for me. I remember that it felt like it took weeks to put together right, which probably meant it took like 20 minutes. This space buggy set became the base for all my Star Wars and Star Trek lego adventures.

I can't believe how spoiled kids are these days with all the officially licensed stuff Lego makes. I think I'm going to teach my kid some kind of crappy lesson by making him watch me play with his new Lego AT-AT.

Friday Night Links

Faces of the Last Season of Oprah. If this doesn't make you laugh it will at least put a smile on your face.


10 Nerd Properties that should get Porn Parodies. Not enough Greatest American Hero on this list.


9 Former Players that would make the NBA better. Not enough Shawn Kemp on this list.

Links always come in 3

Consollection. An excellent collection of almost every home console ever (I say if the Atari XE counts then the TI/99 counts).

Coffee Talk with Cobra Commander. Cobra Commander randomly webchats with unsuspecting strangers.

Scott Meets Family Circus. Finally something that makes Family Circus readable.