Friday, July 31, 2009

Alien prequel might not suck

Producers in Hollywood make a lot of crap decisions, but the jerkfaces at Fox finally got one right when they decided they weren't giving an Alien prequel the green light unless Ridley Scott agreed to direct it. The movie is based on a John Spaiht script, who I guess wowed both Scott and the studio with his pitch. The plot revolves around what actually happened on the derelict ship that Ripley and crew discovered in the first movie.

I'm pumped, I love all the alien movies even Alien3 and those horrible Alien Vs Predator movies. Studios just don't make as many cool monster/horror movies like they did in the 80s. If an alien prequel does well maybe a studio will buy the Deepstar Six prequel I've been writing. I don't want to spoil the ending but the hot chick totally lives.

big ups to on the find

The Fantastic Mr. Fox

Does loving this trailer for The Fantastic Mr. Fox make me a total hipster jerk face? I mean it's stop motion animation combined with Wes Anderson and Bill Murray. If I was wearing skinny jeans talking about how awesome this looked, I'd have to punch myself in the face.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

more like Comic-Can't Cosplay

As promised, here are some of the absolute worst cosplayers at this years Comic-Con. Big ups to great white snark, parka blogs, and maximum for all these pics. I've got about half a dozen more horrible ones I might do something with tomorrow.

this guy's dad is a superstar at the cracker factory

a 3 dollar can of black spray paint could've saved this

ack! thanks for ruining all my harley quinn fantasies

have you ever seen super-girl?

nice fanny pack spidey

ugh, I want to punch everyone of these kids

finally a costume made from a cocktail napkin

are you looking for Old Western Saloon-Con?

I think this picture is molesting me

what the hell? is this discotech Batman?

naruto really needs to lay off the chalupas

spandex, a frisbee, and BMX pads don't make you Tron

repulsor ray, plastic bow, same diff

ok, this one is so bad it's awesome

Cash for Clunkers is a Lemon

technically the 87 Dodge Shadow isn't a clunker

Cash for clunkers is a program only a politician could love. The idea that replacing a working car with a new one that gets better gas mileage is somehow good for the environment is daft. Carbon emissions aren't the end all and be all of good environmental stewardship. Recycling and reusing what we already have is always better than needlessly upgrading to something greener.

Lets put it this way... You wouldn't take your 2 year old Plasma to the dump just because you can get a new LED TV that draws half the power. Or if you would you're an idiot and don't deserve money from the government.

Here's a short list of awesome cars that the government thinks are such an environmental menace they must be destroyed asap. ~via Jalopnik

1987 Nissan 300ZX 2x2

1990 BMW 525i

1991 Alfa Romeo 164

1993 Acura Legend

1987 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme

1996 Mitsubishi 3000 GT Spyder

2004 Mazda RX-8

1991 BMW M3

I'm sure all those 1991 BMW M3 owners are just so excited for this program. Finally a dealer will give them $4,000 trade in on a car worth almost $15,000.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Obama is clearly a racist

... or Glen Beck is clearly insane, either way you're just splitting hairs.

Personally I'm very excited for Obama's response. "I'm not racist. Some of my best friends are white..."

Comic-Con Cosplay, or nerds that sew

As advertised there were roughly a bazillion cosplayers at this years Comic Con. Before we make ourselves feel better by laughing at the redonkulously bad costumes, lets take a look at all the good ones. It's a little something I like to call an open face compliment sandwich.

Here's my top 10 cosplayers for Comic Con 2009.

awesome, but still missing one rocket pack

I love that cookie monster has a press pass

Jasmine and Belle seem nice... they probably don't read comics

one of Rogue's best costumes and it's obviously hand made

this would be cooler if he hadn't already worn it to Wonder-Con

not as accurate as some of the other baroness outfits, somehow still better

hopefully loki remembers to duck when walking through doorways

that kinda looks like a real gun...

Someone tell Fox, this is how you do Deadpool

there's a good chance this really is the original white power ranger

Planet Hulk Trailer

I've skipped the last couple Marvel Animated movies, but this one looks unskippable (it's a word). It's written by Greg Pak, the same guy that wrote the original comic series so I'm guessing it's going to stay pretty close to the comics. I'm crossing my fingers this will lead to a World War Hulk cartoon. I think there's a bit more potential with the WWH storyline in a movie format than in a 7 issue series.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Fear the Soft Master

I don't think it's to much to ask that for every hour you spend making your comic-con costume you do at least 10 sit-ups. More Comic-Con failures tomorrow!

Friday, July 24, 2009

87 Bazillion Guns!

Again, I'm not sure what this has to do with Comics but 2K games premiered a new Trailer for their upcoming game Borderlands at Comic Con yesterday. Looks pretty good, I like the idea of adding RPG style leveling to a good FPS. Add in co-op and a bunch of gore and I'm good to go.

Anyhoo, I could do like a thousand posts about news and previews coming out of SDCC this year, but lets face it I'm lazy. Here's some links instead

Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 Trailers (

Free Avatar Preview in August (

Marvel Super Hero Squad Gets Super Cast (topless robot)

Crappy Tron 2 Footage Still Scores Big (topless robot)

CCI: "Kick-Ass" Panel (CBR)

Mondo Marvel Panel -with awesome preview art (CBR)

Comic-Con 2009 Costumes Gallery - Day 1, Part 1 (great white snark)

Hot Tub Time Machine... that's right I said Hot Tub Time Machine

If you see one movie this year about a time traveling hot tub, make it Hot Tub Time Machine. If you don't Crispin Glover might kick you in the face...

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Star Wars makes everything better

About a week ago posted a mindbottling list of the 202 awesomest star wars t-shirts you can buy. Fair warning, as cool as these shirts are none of them are going to hide your toe thumbs.

..uh, I'd like to hear from Sideshow Mel

It's been about a week now since some peeping tom broke the internet when he posted video of ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews changing in her hotel room. While the actual act was as illegal and indefensible as you can get, the chaos that's followed has been 1000 times more interesting than any keyboard cat meme the interwebs could conjure.

Two of the more popular sports blogs out there, the Big Lead and Deadspin, were practically falling all over each other to see who could be the most contrite. Kinda silly considering neither site has a reputation for real hard hitting journalism and both have a solid history of treating her like a sexy piece of meat in a pantsuit.

All week long I've read articles in the paper, watched investigative reports on TV and listened to people on the radio talk about how horrible and disgusting this whole ordeal is. Other than their righteous indignation, these reporters and pontificators all have one thing in common, they've all seen the tape! take it away Pappa Bear..

Call me crazy but I think everyone in the media and the blogosphere would be doing everone else a favor if they saved their cartoonish outrage on this one. I don't know if I can handle this much irony.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The polar bear had it coming

I'm having some serious problems with my TPS reports today. So while I go kick the crap out of my printer, enjoy Complex's article on the The 40 most violent comics ever. I think the Dark Knight Returns was ranked to high.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The 7 things that will help you survive the Zombie Apocalypse*

Fact. The Zombies are coming. Fact. You're totally unprepared. So to help out your unprepared butt I've compiled a quick list of seven specific items that will help you survive the Zombie Apocalypse. The links will take you to a page where you can buy each one, so if you get eaten it's your own fault.

Stanley FatMax Fubar Xtreme Utility Bar
If you've ever played Half Life you know just how valuable a good crow bar can be. The Fubar Xtreme's brilliant design will help build and reinforce your home base just as easily as it will help you break into things when you're short on supplies. Consider it a Swiss army knife that will smash zombie skulls.

Brunton Helios Stormproof Lighter
At some point during the Zombie Apocalypse you're going to need fire (cooking purifying water, burning zombie corpses). When you do you'll be glad you spent the extra cash on the Brunton Helios. It's completely waterproof and has a flame that can withstand 80mph winds.

Timberland HT2 Watch
This is like the iPhone of watches. It has a digital and analog clock, altimeter, barometer, compass, and thermometer. All enclosed in a stainless steel case with your choice of leather or silicone rubber strap.

Tops Dawn Warrior
You're going to need a knife, and not some flimsy leatherman (although you should still have a leatherman). The Tops Dawn Warrior was designed by a team of experts in law enforcement, martial arts and special forces. I think it'll do in a pinch.

Barbour Classic Motorcycle Jacket
It gets cold at night, and you'll need the heavyweight 8oz waxed cotton to keep you safe from wind, rain and zombie blood. Plus you'll look stylin for when you meet up with some lady survivors.

Pocket Ref by Thomas J Glover
Guess what? There is no google in the Zombie Apocalypse. This reference book is 768 pages of conversions, tables, maps, formulas, and other miscellaneous data that will make you look like the second coming of MacGyver.

Mountain Dew Game Fuel
It's delicious, and now that people are turning into zombies left and right you can't trust the municipal water supply.

* And the 3 Things you'll want to avoid

A Car
Having a car seems like a great idea until you either run out of gas or you turn down a street so infested by zombies you can't run them all over. Soon your awesome ride turns into your awesome coffin.

A Gun
Unless you spend your weekends at the gun range like my dad does, the odds of you hitting a zombie in the head at anykind of safe range are pretty low. All you're going to end up doing is putting a couple rounds in its shoulder and attract more zombies with your wayward gunfire. Plus guns will run out of ammo and there's like a billion zombies after you. You do the math.

A Robot
Any Robot you meet willing to help you during the Zombie Apocalypse is just waiting for the right time to stab you in the back. Remember the 3 Laws don't apply during a Zombie uprising. Cyborgs are still cool though.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Burger King wants to officially sponsor your fun

Ok so it's one thing to be stuck with Burger King as your jersey sponsor.

It's another to have "The Burger King" plastered on the inside of your jersey just to make sure that your celebrations still contain the proper ammount of product placement.

same design put to way better use.

Paula Abdul is seriously underpaid

Last week Ryan Seacrest raised a few eyebrows when he signed a 45 million dollar deal to host American Idol for the next 3 seasons. Obviously one of those eyebrows belonged to a Miss Paula Abdul.

Her manager David Sonenberg is playing tough, and probably made a few network execs squirm this weekend when he told the Los Angeles Times, "Very sadly, it
does not appear she's going to be back on Idol." The story behind Sonenberg's comments, has learned from sources close to the situation, is that the former Laker Girl and hit recording star is demanding $20 million and the other side has floated the idea of $10 million. And while Paula has regularly renegotiated her contract with dire threats of not returning, Sonenberg is talking tough and hasn't given anyone on the network side reason to believe he's bluffing.

... didn't anyone tell Paula's manager that they replaced her with a younger better looking woman last season? Her camp might want to rethink their negotiating tactics. I'd counter offer with minimum wage plus tips, a Chikezie bobble head and all the coca-cola she can drink.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Harry Potter and the Half-Assed Blogger

are we sure Ron wasn't supposed to go to a "special" magic school?

So while you were spending Friday evening watching this video of a hammer dancing Darth Vader. I ventured out to the local theater and caught a showing of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Turns out it's a really good movie. Now I know I'll get my nerd card pulled for admitting this, but I haven't read any of the Harry Potter books. But I have seen all the movies and this was definitely one of the better ones. The last movie was kinda dull, and at the end of it I had a billion questions for my wife (who has read all the books). I'm not a big fan of that, it supposed to be her asking me all the questions. I'm the nerd in this relationship damn it!

This one the plot was more or less self contained, it was easy to follow and the dialogue was pretty well written. I remember laughing plenty of times and for half a second I almost cared about the silly Ron/Hermoine/other girl, love triangle. Also unlike the order of the Phoenix the action scenes were kinda fantastic. I mean as fantastic as you can expect when you're dealing with a movie about teenage wizards instead of robocops or zombies.

Oh yeah, as long as we're talking movies, looks like that Voltron movie everyone has been demanding is finally going to be made. Now if you'll excuse me I need to hop in my time machine and let the 8 year old me know, he'll be so happy.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Comic-Con should be renamed GeekyHollywood-Con

Does anyone going to Comic-Con have anything to do with actual comic books anymore? I'm looking through Entertainment Weekly's on-line Comic-Con preview and out of the 18 sneak-peeks not a one of them is for a comic book. 3 of the 18 are for movies based on comics, so I guess that's close. Call me an old crank but I remember when the San Diego Comic Convention wasn't about the latest Michael Cera romantic comedy or the next instalment of the Twilight crap fest.

Seriously kids, get off my lawn!


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