A tale of two teams

So England and the US are both out of the world cup. Both teams finished the tourney with 1 win 2 ties and a loss and you can make a very strong argument that both teams were knocked out by superior teams. However similar those results are they can seem very different depending on your perspective.



Lets face it, the English are insane. They act like they invented soccer. They what? Really? hmmm.. did you read that thing about that falling tree branch? that stuff is messed up.

USA USA USA USA!

Sir Patrick Stewart at the World Cup

I will love this picture for the rest of my life.

Open wide for some soccer!

Here you are, highlights of the US men's national team run in the confederations cup set to A Life Less Ordinary by Motion City Soundtrack. I swear if we don't beat England this weekend I'm turning this blog around and going home.

Clint Dempsy is a cry baby

I've been dying to run this pic. Finally a story that justifies it.

Last year ESPN commenter John Harkes finally color commentated something interesting when he called out Clint Dempsey for looking lazy and disinterested during the Confederations Cup. It was the first time anyone on ESPN had said anything interesting about soccer since Wynalda got fired for slicing and dicing Bruce Arena in 2006. Well guess who's firing back (like 8 months later).

"He criticized me in [Confederations Cup] for looking tired and said I should be benched, but I was top three in distance covered in the whole tournament.. It’s funny that he criticized me so much and yet I feel like I’ve done more in my international career than he has. Just compare our national-team stats. I’ve also scored in a World Cup, scored three goals in Confederations Cup, and got the Bronze Ball for third-best player in the whole tournament. Look at what he’s done."

via si.com

Yes lets look at what John Harkes has done. Last year in the Confederations Cup he correctly pointed out that Clint Dempsey looked lazy and disinterested. Harkes was right, Clint was infuriating during that tournament. He refused to track back, he didn't make decisions quickly, was careless with the ball and somehow was still our most effective offensive player. Imagine how we could have done if he had put in the slightest bit of effort.

How about this Deuce? You shut your hole, score goals and let us fans sit back and ogle your wife. You think you can manage that?

The New USMNT kit has no shorts

The USSF premired the new World Cup home jerseys for Los Gringos today, which was boring. Playboy decided to premiere the new World Cup jerseys with a Playboy Playmate, which was much less boring.

The new Jerseys are the "most environmentally-friendly jerseys ever made", made entirely from recycled polyester. Each Jersey has up to 200 tiny laser cut holes, creating ventilation zones on each side of the jersey, on the waistband and near the base of spine to enhance breathability. I've checked the website a couple time and so far I have yet to find the half shirt version shown above. I'm starting to believe Playboy may have doctored the jersey, which is a shame because I would totally pay money to see Clint Dempsey wear one of those.

Well that's not good for business

they don't make enough side-curtain airbags to save you from this
US Men's national team diaper dandy Charlie Davies was in a serious car accident this morning.

Charlie Davies was in the area with the team for a World Cup qualifier, ESPN.com reported. He was in stable condition following surgery Tuesday afternoon. Though his injuries are not believed to be life-threatening, they could possibly be career-threatening, a U.S. Soccer Federation spokesman told The Washington Post.

U.S. Park Police are investigating the crash on the southbound lanes of the George Washington Parkway at Boundary Channel Drive, just south of the Memorial Bridge, that broke an SUV in half.

The accident happened at approximately 3:15 a.m. Police spokesman Sgt. David Schlosser told News4 that it looks like the SUV struck the metal railing of the bridge that carries the parkway over Boundary Channel Drive.

~ nbcwashington.com

One person died in the accident and a couple more were injured. We'll have to wait and see what really happened here and what impact this has on Davies and the rest of the Nats.

Nothing good happens at 3 in the morning and I know it's total conjecture on my part but I'm afraid Davies may have made some real bad decisions here. Hopefully I'm proven wrong.

Update! more on his injuries from the USSF

Davies suffered a lacerated bladder and fractures to the tibia and femur bones in his right leg. He also suffered facial fractures and a left elbow fracture. Davies was air-lifted to the hospital where a team of doctors first repaired a ruptured bladder and then inserted titanium rods in both the tibia, the bone in the lower leg, and the femur, which is the thigh bone, with no complications. Davies will be hospitalized for at least a week and additional surgeries will be required to stabilize his left elbow fracture and possibly the facial fractures.

“Injuries of this nature usually require a recovery period of six to 12 months and extensive rehabilitation,” said U.S. Soccer physician Dr. Dan Kalbac, who is with the team in D.C. and collaborated with the treating doctors. ”Due to Charlie’s fitness level, his prognosis for recovery and his ability to resume high-level competition is substantially improved.”

Cubs Win! Cubs Win!

Currently there are 2 things in life that truly befuddle me. The first is how on earth Conner Casey scores two clinch goals to secure Los Gringos 6th straight trip to the world cup. I mean it's Conner Freaking Casey! I'm surprised he found the effort to get off the team bus and make it into the stadium (although I imagine a hot dog cart may have been involved). The second thing is how this game wasn't on ESPN.. or Fox Sports... or Tellemundo.. or Canal UHF-62. I didn't even know closed circuit view still existed.

Anyway here are the highlights..

Confederations Cup report card

Image is life sized.

Player ratings are completely subjective and pretty much a waste of everyone's time. Here are mine for the USMNT's performance in the Confederations Cup.

Coach Bradley: C-
It's funny we finished 2nd in the tourney and I still think a C- is being generous. His reliance on capping out of form players that have helped him in the past, while overlooking obvious new talent, will leave him in the same place it left Bruce Arena. Coaching in the MLS.

Landon Donovan: A-
Was a dominant force on the field and this time it wasn't in a tournament against Barbados and Mexico it was against Spain and Brazil. He gets a minus because for all the hustle and skill he showed in the first two games he still didn't get enough shots on goal.

Clint Dempsy: B
First two games an F, last 3 games an A. More than anyone on the Nats, this guy needs to learn how to be consistent. Also he always looks like he has the flu. Work on that too.

Jozy Altidore: C+
He's as lazy and out of shape as he is skillful. There's no way you should have to sub a 19 year old out at the 60th minute every time he starts.

Carlos Bocanegra: B-
Looked solid on defense as the left back but If he's the future at that spot he's going to need to work on his offense. Of course he's still light years ahead of any of our other options at that spot.

Jay Demeritt: B+
Is ready to play at this level. He got beat on a header vs. Brazil, but after that had things on serious lock down. Easy to see why he's the captain at Watford. His style of play was contagious

Jonathan Spector: B+
Cherunda-who? Two pinpoint crosses to Dempsy has earned Spector a starting spot with the A squad. He needed help defending against the Brazilians, but who doesn't?

Demarcus Beasley: F-
Looked horrible, had no business being on the field. Not as much his fault as it was Bob Bradley's for starting him.

Jonathan Bornstein: C-
Bornstein is a fine second choice left back. Keep him on the sub sheet but pray you never have to start him.

Michael Bradley: B
Unlike Clark and Kljestan, Bradley got hosed with his red card. Internationally he's developed a reputation as a sloppy tackler. Not a good rep for your holding mid to have.

Ricardo Clark: C+
Ricardo Clark once again showed us that he's always ready to kick some back. Looked serviceable when he wasn't getting straight reds.

Sacha Kljestan: D+
Has any one's stock dropped faster than Sacha's? The Red card was bad enough, but in the last game against Brazil he couldn't defend anyone and he couldn't make a simple pass. The fact that Bob Bradley even put him out there as a "holding mid" makes me question his sanity.

Benny Fielhaber: B-
This guy is 24 years old, why can't he play a full game? Is he sharing a trainer with Altidore?

Oguchi Onyewu: B
At least with Gooch you always know what you're going to get. His big and strong, plays solid man defense and is fearless in the air. He also can't pass over the midfield to save his life, and has trouble marking speedy short guys.

Conner Casey: D+
Casey looked better defending corner kicks than he did playing forward. How this guy gets call ups over Kenny Cooper is a mystery.

Charlie Davies: B-
Talk about upside. Davies is fast and loves to hustle. He's also not afraid to run right at defenders. That Bicycle kick he took against Spain took a lot of testicular fortitude. Of course his touch on the ball could use some serious work. Someone get him out of Sweden so he can spend some time in a world class system.

Tim Howard: B
Had the game of his life vs Spain but he also had a couple forgettable performances vs Brasil and Italy. The book on him is to shoot from distance. He needs to prove the book wrong.

Brad Guzan: B+
Kept a clean sheet, which is really all you can ask from a goalie. Still, he looked shaky on corners and crosses and needs to improve his communication with the back line.

Freddy Adu, Jose Torres: Incomplete
What on earth did these two do to Bob Bradley? When you're losing time in the midfield to Jonathan Bornstein there's a problem.

Overall team grade: B-
I know I know, how can you come in second to Brazil and still only get a B-? It's not that I'm one of those people that thinks the Confederations cup doesn't mean anything and that the win vs Spain wasn't that big of a deal. Just the opposite, I think to this team the Confederations cup was super imprtant and in the first two games we played worse than we did in Germany 2006. It took a miracle to get out of group play and no matter how good Brazil is, it's hard for me to swallow giving up a two goal lead in the second half of a tournament final.

Still if you're an optimist, you can't help but feel good going into the second half of World Cup qualifying and looking way ahead to South Africa 2010. Maybe in another year Jozy will be able to last 80 minutes!

enjoy the top ten goals of the tournament decided by some anonymous youtuber

No one expects the spanish inquisition

Wow*

* it took me 10 minutes to find a highlight video that didn't look like it was compressed and uploaded by a Tandy 1000, sorry it's in italian.

Michael Bradley thinks you can suck it.

this is my serious face

"All the f---ing experts in America, everybody who thinks they know about soccer, they can all look at the score tonight and let's see what they have to say now. Nobody has any respect for what we do, for what goes on on the inside, so let them all talk now."
~Michael Bradley

The 3-0 win over Egypt was incredible, but I'm not completely sure it erases the absolutely horrible showing against Brazil and Italy. Let just put it this way, 3 points and a -2 goal Diff. isn't going to get you into the knock out round in 2010.

Hot Links, No Links

Sorry no links for the weekend this week. Instead let's revisit last weeks Hot Links topic, specifically the USMNT and The Confederations Cup. As I'm sure everyone out there knows, we're not doing well. In fact we've looked horrible, but don't just take my word for it. Here's what the internets had to say about Thursday's game against Brazil.

"I would rather punch myself in the d*ck for 3 hours than watch the US play like that again"

"I hear Sven isn't doing anything at the moment. just saying"

"Beasley looked like Pele today. Not the Pele of his prime, but exactly how Pele would look if he suited up today."

"Hey. Bob Bradley. The US soccer youth program just called, they want their coach back."

"That was a disgrace. I seriously can't believe I took off work today. Bob Bradley should personally reimburse us fans that sat through that joke of a game."

"If the US finishes the next game with 11 players on the field it will be considered a victory!"

"I see zero positives for the US from this game. Maybe less than zero."

"If Conor Casey is the answer, I don't want to know the question"

The best part... even after losing our first 2 games by a combined 6-1, we still have a slight chance to make it into the knock out round. So set your DVRs, Sunday's match up against Egypt has all the makings of an epic fail. If you've ever coached a soccer team on any level, I would suggest getting your resume ready. The USSF should be taking applications by Monday morning.

Hot Babes could fix the MLS

"I really think the WAG culture could really improve MLS. Though, I am guessing that women of semi-ill repute aren’t attracted by a $33,000 a year and a 1995 Honda Civic."

~ tyduffy (of thebiglead.com)

Even though he says "really" twice in one sentence, I think Ty makes a good point. The MLS is never going to be taken seriously as a big time sporting league here in the states until it's players start making some bank. Now don't get me wrong, I actually like the MLS. I'm very excited for the Sounders FC season to start, and last year I watched a handful of really good games on TV. You hear a lot of soccer snobs (especially on-line) complain that the MLS isn't worth watching, but is it really any worse than having to endure 90 minutes of Fulham vs Stoke? or heaven forbid watch any Mexican league hack fest? A Good soccer game is not necessarily dependant on the skill of it's players. I think anyone that watched Brasil vs Italy last night learned that lesson. At a certain level of soccer the stakes get so high a lot of managers will put 10 players behind the ball and just choke the life out of a game. Wow I just strayed away from my point...

Oh yeah, the MLS is clown shoes compared to the other larger professional sports leagues in the states, and sadly it all comes down to money (ok money and fame, but that's just splitting hairs). Say you're a 15 year old Steve Nash, a rep from nike wants you to take part in one of their summer basketball leagues in chicago or New York. Isiah thomas (pre-knick debacle) will be there, and you'll be introduced to all kinds of scouts that can help you find the right college program for you. Maybe you could even skip college and go straight to the pros. Or you could spend your summer playing club soccer for a coach that "says" he played in division 2 SPL in the 80s. He tells your parents that he thinks if you work on your conditioning you could get a scholarship to Seaton Hall! Oh yeah I forgot to mention that if you do play Collegiate division 1 basketball there's a good chance you'll get some cash under the table. Is there really a choice here?

Quite frankly we americans should be proud of our success in soccer. We're ranked 23rd in the world at a sport almost no one here cares about. Imagine if all our best young athletes traded in their hoop dreams for pitch dreams? Sure Didier Drogba is a beast on the field, but what's he gonna do when he goes up for a header against a 6'4 240lb Ray Lewis? You think Run DMB is fast? Imagine Devin Hester making an overlapping run up the right side of the field.

Would you hate him less if he played for the USMNT instead of the Lakers?

Maybe one day we'll get to see that happen. But I tell you what's got to happen first. First we have to stop losing players to the Sweedish and Danish soccer leagues because they're willing to give our MLS all-stars contracts worth more than 80,000 dollars a season.

Special Bonus (for mark) pictures of super WAG Danielle Loyd. She's writing some sort of tell all book that has all the EPL boys nervous.

Homeless man does good

"dude, you holdin'?"

Hey when did this happen? SI.com is reporting that Celtic are days away from signing man-hobo Sacha Kljestan. This would be a freaking great move! I've been real impressed with Sacha's play the last couple of USMNT games. Poor facial hair decisions aside, I think he has a lot of potential and could be key to the gringos chances in 2010. A couple years in the rough and tumble the SPL provides, mixed with a couple chances at champions league beatdowns, might just be what the doctor ordered.

In short Dinosaur Pope approves this move.

Good guys 2, Bad guys 0

If any team deserves a 6-0 beat down barbados style, it's Guatemala. However, I can live with a nice clean 2-0 win. Especially when the goals come from 3 guys that have to see more time with the national team. here's some highlights if I can get the youtubes to work.