Reminder, Sinclair Broadcast Group is bad

If you've been on the old internets over the last 48 hours you've probably seen this video of a bunch of Sinclair Broadcast Group newscasts reading the same memo about "fair and balanced" reporting. It's super duper creepy, like if you saw it in some sort of David Fincher horror movie you'd be like "come on David, tone it down just a bit why don't you?"

Anyway, John Oliver and his wacky news crew saw the same video and addressed it on last night's Last Week Tonight. As viral as the video has been it sucks that this story isn't being reported on more. It might just be the most important new story going on right now because the ramifications are nearly infinite. Politicizing the news isn't anything new, the difference here is that thanks to decades of deregulation, a single group can now control hundreds, if not thousands, of different outlets.

We're like 7 years away from having just two news choices, the Democratic news channel and the Republican news channel. And of course it won't stop there, those same two channels will own all the radio stations and newspapers in town. With net neutrality roll backs, just wait until Comcast starts offering the "Real America" channel and internet package, with unlimited access to The Blaze and Breitbart.com! Sorry, Huffington Post is going to cost an extra $19.99 a month.

Basically we're all screwed.

Get Bent Komo 4

A couple weeks ago John Oliver did a segment on Sinclair Broadcast Group, highlighting how they're requiring stations they own to run conservative editorials and how they're trying to expand their footprint across the nation. Around the same time The Seattle Times also did a story about Sinclair focusing on how a lot of the staff at Komo 4 weren't very happy with the mandates from their new corporate overlords. This whole thing is gross and a pretty good example of how unfettered capitalism and the free market screws all of us.

Crosscut has more about that here.

It used to be that media companies like Sinclair were heavily regulated, it was something like they couldn't own more than 6 stations and never two stations in the same market. If they're allowed to acquire Tribune Media they'll own something like 220 stations including two in Seattle. The only people that's good for are the people that own Sinclair. It's certainly not good for the public, who are supposed to own and control the airwaves.

Anyway watch the John Oliver segment then watch the rebuttal from jackhole Boris Epshteyn. It's amazing that his takeaway is "um actually... terrorism is important". You can't even argue with people like this. They just immediately surround themselves with strawmen. No one is saying Terrorism isn't important Boris, we're saying your terrorism reporting is garbage and is politically motivated. It's a difference any rational person can see.



Gah, I need to stop writing about this and just get back to the salt mine. Thinking too much about this will just ruin my day.

Today's Star Wars weather

Apparently meteorologist Sian Welby from 5 News over in England somewhere really likes to sprinkle pop culture puns and references into her reports. She's done Back to the Future and Superman v Batman, Suicide Squad, etc. I know this clip is about a year old but what the heck, it's Star Wars day and I couldn't find anything else that was both interesting and quick to post.

ENJOY!

RIP Vern Fonk

Rob Thielke, the president and recognizable face of Vern Fonk Insurance, passed away Sunday after a long battle with cancer, the company confirmed.

He was 50 years old.

Thielke joined Vern Fonk Insurance, a company specializing in high-risk auto insurance started in Seattle, in 1989.
Thielke rose to President of the company in 2013, but is best known for creating the company’s TV commercials, in which he often starred. His off-the-wall ideas and interesting parodies help make the TV spots some of the most recognizable in the area. via Q13fox.com

Man, that's a bummer. I LOVED me some Vern Fonk commercials. As far as the landscape in the pop culture part of my brain goes Vern Fonk commercials are right up there with Comic Books, Simpsons reruns and the entire roster of NBA Live 95. Rob Thielke will be missed.

He's the Carrot Top of Weathermen

This Guy! Am I right???

Mark Johnson, local weatherman of WEWS Cleveland had some things to say about last nights Cavaliers/Warriors game and as the saying goes one prop is worth at least 2.5 words. I love how once the weed wacker thing totally flops he doubles down with the "brick". Seriously, that's not a brick it's a cider block. Do you even know how to Carrot Top?

That's Not Very Gentlemanly

Last weekend a rather boorish Toronto FC fan decided it would be cute to get on the air with the old "F-her right in the pussy" meme. Well this reporter was having none of it, she stops everything and publicly shames the douche right there. Also he got fired from his job.

Good work Canada. Nice Hustle out there.

TJ Miller introduces us to the dribble take

Stand up comic and Silicon Valley star TJ Miller was on some local morning news show out in middle america and hilarity ensued.

I caught the first episode of Silicon Valley on some HBO free preview weekend and it was pretty good. A hell of a lot better than Burn and Catch Fire. If I ever catch up on my DVR I might hit the torrents and check out a few more episodes. The WWE network is really killing me as far as regular TV watching. Why catch up on Defiance or Falling Skies when I can watch the '97 King of the Ring PPV a dozen times?

Ron Burgundy Serious Newsman

Will Ferrell took his Ron Burgundy act to Bismark, North Dakota where he sat in on and entire half hour news broadcast. It's pretty surreal.

Happy Halloween!

Pat Tamasulo Gets Even

Generally speaking, local news reporters are way to wrapped up in what they think is important business to be actual functioning human beings. So when a bunch of drunk frat boys dance around in the background of a remote broadcast I laugh, as is appropriate.

However sometimes you need to flip the script and make fun of the drunk frat boys dancing around. Pat Tamasulo gets that, so he went out with a camera crew and wrecked shop. It's pretty entertaining.

Fish Bloopers, now with %100 more fish

Here's Crystal Storm from Channel 12 Local Rush News showing us how to not hold a recently caught fish. Sorry Crystal you've got to get your fingers in there under the gills. It may be gross but if you have any chance replacing Casey Stone from behind the anchor desk you're going to have to stick your hands in some fish.

True story, I once caught a fish that was as long as I was tall. I was 10 and my dad had to help reel it in for me.

Attack of the Zomb-bees

The Zombie apocalypse isn't quite happening the way comics and movies would have you believe. Zombie Bees have been spotted in my hometown of Kent, WA. What's a Zombie Bee? Hit us with some science San Francisco State biology professor John Hafernik:

According to Hafernik, infected flies land on honeybees and inject eggs into their adbomens. As the eggs begin developing, the bees start acting erratically, leaving the hive at night and congregating near lights, flying aimlessly until they die.

"They basically hatch and eat the insides out of the bee," Hafernik explains.

via mynorthwest.com

That is terrifyingly disgustingly awesome. Seriously how metal is that? It's like a real life Alien chest-burster. I have a mini orchard in my back yard so we get a lot of bees, I'm definitely keeping my eye out for some zomb-bees. I think I'm also going to finally fix my fence and sharpen my axe. It's just Bees now but you can never be to safe.

Congratulations on your big hooters

I love local news, have I told you that recently?

Here we have Johnny McReporter "mistakenly" telling Sally McNewcaster congratulations on the big boobs. I'm telling you Charlie Brown, this is what the Christmas season is all about.

The internets are leaking: Pedobear edition

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Sorry, allow me to sum up. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ok ok, let me really sum up. Pedobear is a stupid internet meme, he means nothing. He was a cartoon that first showed up on 4chan when people started posting real child pornography, Pedobear was designed to more or less mock and deride the sickos, like cats hazing cheeseburgers he escaped the depths of 4chan and made his way to mainstream internet fame. Of course being an advanced internet user you should already know that.

However the news team in Albuquerque New Mexico must still be on dial-up because they really think Pedobear is the cartoon mascot for pedophiles. Because that's totally what Pedophiles are into, mascots that easily identify them as a pedophile.

In closing this is why norms shouldn't be allowed to use the internet.

Spider-Man > Hurricane Irene

Hurricane Irene wasn't all dead surfers and power outages, Spider-Man was hanging around too. Maybe it was just some guy dressed up as Spider-Man. I mean the reporter calls hims Spider-Man, I think it's Spider-Man.

In all seriousness, it's kind of hard to get people to take your action news team serious when you're all gore texed up, recommending people stay inside, while a couple frat dudes in flip flops are goofing around behind you (2:18).

/shakes fist at capitalism

I've said this before, people in the past were idiots. Here's a news report from 1991 about the big super-nes backlash (which never existed). They do have a point though, why buy a kid a Super Nintendo when they already have a Nintendo. It's not even backwards compatible!

My favorite part is when the graphics department shrinks the reporter down so he's inside the F-Zero car. You know some nerd got a local emmy for that.

..the fail starts right now

oh local news. I love you so much.

Punk kid gets what's coming to him

Here's the deal, any kid that gets to go to skateboard camp deserves to be leveled by a fat guy with a microphone. When I was a kid I had to go to horse riding camp, you know how much fun horse riding camp is? About as much fun as it sounds. The girls weren't even that cute. stupid Miracle Ranch

Girl Falls, Internet Rejoices!

Here's a youtube clip of a girl falling on her face on the local news. My favorite part is when she fell on her face.

Snow on the Ground. because, why not?

If this isn't the whitest thing you'll see today congratulations, you're a polar bear.