Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Expendables will melt your face... and apparently stallone's

Are you kidding me with this? The Expendables will easily win the Oscar for best movie ever, narrowly beating out Highlander. It's Written by Stallone. Directed by Stallone. Starring Stallone, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Danny Trejo, Eric Roberts, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Randy Coutoure and a cameo by Ahnold. Are you kidding me? This movie is going to be like Predator, if Predator was taking the same growth hormones that Stallone has been taking the last 15 years.

The plot revolves around some sort of group of mercenaries hired by the government to take out a south American dictator. But seriously, with this group of thespians are you really looking for plot? I want explosions and gatling guns, and for danny trejo to get a stunner from steve austin right after randy coutoure gets his arm chopped off while wielding twin shotguns.

Expect the end of the world April of 2010. I'm just assuming the world will end because after watching this what's the point, right?


B said...

Can you say target demographic? First thing I thought was, hey, that title is a nod to Rambo: First Blood Part II.

Rambo: To survive a war, you gotta become war.
Co: That why they pick you? Because you like to fight?
Rambo: Nah... I'm expendable.
Co: Expendable... What mean expendable?
Rambo: It's like... someone... invites you to a party, and you don't show up; doesn't really matter.

B said...

Oh, the irony:

Co: Expendable... What mean expendable?
Rambo: It's like... someone... makes a movie, and the audience don't show up; doesn't really matter.

kevin n. on April 15, 2009 at 10:25 AM said...

If 4 Fast 4 Furious can make 70 million on it's opening weekend, the expendables should be able to make like 70 trillion.

B said...

Rumors have it Seagal, VanDamme, and Sasha Mitchell, Macho Man Randy Savage, and Tito Ortiz are slated for the Expendables II.

(Ok, So I just started that rumor but maybe it will gain traction and come true.)



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