New Star Wars trailer is no Turkey

Hey kids, remember Star Wars? It's back, in pog trailer form. Earlier today the teaser trailer for Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens was released on line. I've only watched it 30-40 times so far. When Lucas sold the rights to Star Wars to Disney and they announced a slew of new movies I really didn't want to get sucked into the rabbit hole, but here I am. Bounce Bounce.

I just love everything about this teaser. The suspenseful nature of it, the X-Wings, Stormtroopers without their helmets, the mother loving Millennium Falcon doing a barrel roll being chased by honest to god Tie Fighters. Don't even get me started on the lightsaber with a hilt... It's going to be a very long 12 months.

Blu Links

Report: Disney Is Releasing The Original ‘Star Wars’ Trilogy Cuts On Blu-Ray. In the LEAST surprising news ever, Disney and Lucas found a way to squeeze even more money from the stone that is their fanbase. It's nice to know that Disney is really keeping with the traditions Lucas has founded. I mentioned this on reddit the other day but do you realize how ridiculous it was that in 2000 the Phantom Menace was released on VHS well before it was released on DVD. Sure, the DVD format wasn't as ubiquitous back then as it is now but there was no reason to wait soo long on a DVD release other than fleecing stupid nerds who would buy the movie in both formats (like me).

Rumor has it that this is just a big old Rumor because Disney would need to strike an agreement with Fox to release the original movies but there's no way this doesn't happen. I think it's safe to say you can pencil it in for a release date the Christmas before Episode VII hits theaters.

The 21 Stupidest Things Ever Said by Powerful People. There is nothing more I love than when people who know nothing about tech/the internet talk about tech/the internet like they know what they're talking about. Oh man, I could read quotes like this one from well noted windbag Rush Limbaugh all day long.

Washington rules: why Washington State is better than your state. This is a pretty fantastic article however, my trip to Astoria a couple weeks ago really opened my eyes on Oregon. That place is pretty fantastic. If the Salt Water taffy industry wasn't so hard to crack into I could see relocating down there.

A Guide to All the Gratuitous Product Placement in Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” Video. Man there was so much ass shaking in this video I missed all the gratuitous product placement. Come to think of it, that's pretty poor product placement. I mean if there's ass shaking next to a pair of new Jordan's I'm pretty sure everyone's eye is going to be drawn to the ass, not the fresh kicks. Nice try Minaj, maybe next time.

Sink these Links

Ben Affleck is Batman. I'm not sure why I led with this. I have very little opinion on the matter. Sure I think it's amusing that the guy that played O'bannion in Dazed and Confused is Batman but that's about it.

I do think it's hilarious that the best DC/Warner Bros can do to fight Marvel and their complete box office domination is to put the only two successful film characters they've ever had into one movie. Meanwhile Marvel is about to spend 100+ million dollars on a movie that stars a tree and a talking raccooon. And it will probably be a HUGE hit.

Bradley Cooper might be Rocket Raccoon. Speaking of which, oscar nominee Bradley Cooper might be playing said talking raccoon. Makes sense to me.

MASSIVE Louisiana Sinkhole Devours Whole Trees in Seconds Flat. Damn nature you scary! Oh this wasn't nature? It was drilling gone wrong? Let me know when Kaiju start pouring through, please. I'll start working on a Jaeger out of these spare Ikea parts I have laying around.

Star Wars Episode VII will be shot on film. I'd like to think that when George Lucas read this his jowels got real wobbly and he shouted "but I delcared film dead 14 years ago!" Then he tried to take his toys back and some nameless suit at Disney kicked him in the nuts.

Ok Fine, lets talk about Star Wars

Jimminy Christmas everyone and their grandma keeps asking me about Disney buying Star Wars. Here's the deal, neither George Lucas or Disney are going to do anything to ruin my childhood. My childhood happened 30 years ago and unless I pull a Billy Pilgrim, I don't think I'm going to be revisiting it anytime soon. So as far as my love of Star Wars and all the memories I have of it as a kid, those will be just fine. They're not going anywhere (that is until I enter my inevitable slide into senility, but that's a good 5-10 years away).

So lets look towards the future! The Future is bright. Disney makes some pretty good movies. I don't care how well it did in the box office, I'd watch John Carter of Mars a thousand times before watching the Attack of the Clones again. If there's going to be more Star Wars movies (and that was inevitable) we're much better off without Lucas being involved. Maybe we'll get a stand alone Boba Fett movie!

And we haven't even talked about the DVDs. Rob Bricken has a pretty good rundown of the complications surrounding the DVD/ Blu Ray rights to all the existing movies. Again here's a situation where Disney has a much better track record than George Lucas. Sure, Disney does that whole Disney Vault nonsense where they maximize dollars by keeping their films scarce, but they don't jerk around their fan bases like Lucas does. Maybe just maybe we'll see a nice high-def transfer of the original unedited trilogy before they remake them staring Channing Tatum, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Swift.


C-Tates is Han.

Here comes Episode 7

"Right over there is where we'll keep the big pile of money."
Disney is buying Lucasfilm for $4.05 billion from George Lucas, They plan on releasing Star Wars Episode 7 in 2015. I really have no thoughts on the subject, however coincidentally I did wear a Star Wars shirt to work today. It's a minor coincidence though, I have something like 5 Star Wars shirts.

That one scene you like, It sucks

As it turns out when you slow down the only cool scene in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace it sucks.

I would really like to see the same kind of breakdown for the final battle in return of the Jedi. There's a lot less jumping and ducking and acting like an idiot in that scene, I bet it holds up way better than this.

Snap into these links

Why Spider-man is better than Batman. Chris Sims from ComicsAlliance on why Spider-Man is absolutely, without a doubt, the best comic book character of all time. Nuff Said.

10 more jokes to make about the Hulk Hogan sex tape. Oh you didn't know? Your ass better call somebody! Seriously, the only good thing about a Hulk Hogan sex tape is all the jokes that can be made about a Hulk Hogan sex tape.

Topher Grace gives George Lucas the ol George Lucas. From what I understand young Eric Foreman is learning how to be a film director, his first self given assignment was to edit Star Wars Episodes 1-3 into one good, coherant film. From what I've heard he's done it, someone get to bootlegging!

Star Trek Warp Drive could prove deadly. Long story short a theoretical warp drive would create a giant explosion as it left and then again as it entered normal space. Sounds like we've finally perfected space exploration the 'merican way.

George Lucas said... ARGH (BRAIN EXPLODES)

Just in case you hadn't already heard it over at the 1,000 other geek blogs, George Lucas now says that Greedo always shot first.

The controversy over who shot first, Greedo or Han Solo, in Episode IV, what I did was try to clean up the confusion, but obviously it upset people because they wanted Solo to be a cold-blooded killer, but he actually isn't. It had been done in all close-ups and it was confusing about who did what to whom. I put a little wider shot in there that made it clear that Greedo is the one who shot first, but everyone wanted to think that Han shot first, because they wanted to think that he actually just gunned him down.

~hollywoodreporter

In the words of comic book guy.. worst director ever.

Boo, links

Stephen Speilberg blames George Lucas for Indy 4 being awful. My favorite part about this is that Speilberg says it was Lucas' idea to use space aliens which of course "ruined" the movie. However it was Speilberg's idea to have Indy survive a nuclear explosion in a refrigerator. How about we just say it was a team effort?

Yes Google Stole from Apple, and it's a good thing. I can't believe Jobs had the balls to sue google for stealing from Apple given how much IP Apple has stolen. The best part of the article is the apple freaks in the comments section that can't help but defend the double standard.

Real World Star sues MTV. Tanya, who has always been one of my favorite Challenge veterans, claims that a Kenny and Evan sexually assaulted her with a toothbrush. I'm not sure which is worse, the allegation or discovering that MTV actually has a "rape clause" in their contracts.

Patton Oswalt narrates a reality star's trip to the pumpkin patch. I have no idea who he's ripping on but it's highlarious none the less.

Stupid Links

9 actresses hotter than Rihanna, the sexiest woman alive. In case you hadn't heard some magazine named Rihanna the sexiest woman alive. As expected the internet reacted with "lol, such and such is way hoter!" I thought this screen junkies list was particularly dreadful, not only because they included Lindsey Lohan and Hayden Panettiere but because they forgot Diora Baird, who sometimes still gets acting jobs.

Darth Maul, 1999-99.. and now 2012? George Lucas wants the producers of the Clone Wars to bring back Darth Maul. Of course he does. In 20 years when the original trilogy is released on holo-disc I'm guessing he'll get edited into the cantina scene. It helps tie the trilogies together!


Microsoft résumés confirm the next generation Xbox. I know the next Xbox is coming, but I don't want to hear about it. You have any idea how expensive childrens clothes are? I can barely afford games these days much less new gaming systems. Where's my bailout? #occupymybasement

Books-a-Million removes DC titles from shelves. A couple of the larger chains have pulled DC books off the shelves due to their exclusive digital availability on the kindle fire. In DC's defense it's not like they knew other retailers had their own tablets. I mean where do you even find that kind of information these days?

George Lucas, still ruining childhoods

Bad news nerds, George Lucas now has the technology to ruin your entire childhoon. Why? 'cause he's a dick, that's why.

People are unhappy on the internet

Hey, remember yesterday when I told you all about George Lucas making more changes to the original Star Wars trilogy in the upcoming blu ray box set? Turns out the nerds on the internet aren't that happy about it. Who knew, right?





bravo Paul Scheer, you always were my favorite comic on I love the 80s. Really he wasn't on that? Are you sure? Mo Rocca? Never heard of him.

George Lucas can't stop, won't stop.

When Lucasfilm announced that they'd be releasing a new Star Wars blu ray set there was a lot of web speculation about which version of the original trilogy would be included, the original trilogy of the 1997 special editions. Turns out what we're really getting is the 2011 blu ray editions because he can't stop tinkering with these movies. take it away io9.

George Lucas is not satisfied with turning the puppet Yoda in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace into a CG creation. Or just fixing some of the wonky lightsabre effects in the original trilogy. He's going a bit further.

~io9.com

Most of the changes are stupid. Like digitally enhancing the blinking of the ewoks (I shit you not), or having R2D2 hide behind a rock.


So far all the changes I've seen are so minor I have no idea why he's doing them. He's just trolling the net nerds right? I mean there's no way he's up all night obsessing over how the Ewok's blinking looks fake. He's either a dick or clinically insane, at this point I don't think there's a middle ground.

Our friends at ToplessRobot have video for a lot of the changes.

Bi-Mon Sci-Fi Con Links

Why is Pan Am at Comic-con? If Comic-Con was a pizza joint there would be already be another convention across the street called The Original Comic-Con, then kitty corner to that convention we'd have Original Famous Comic-Con, etc.

The Dugout: How to pick up Soccer Girls. If you haven't heard Evan Longoria tried to pick up USWNT smokeshow Alex Morgan via twitter. It didn't really work.

Joe Johnston wants to make a Boba Fett movie. Good or bad, I would gladly pay 10 dollars to see a Star Wars movie not written or directed by George Lucas.

Ken Jeong Photobombs Kate Upton. Ken Jeong's funny, Kate Upton has big boobs. This whole GQ spread really should have been better. Still, Kate Upton.

George Lucas Strikes Back

This is awesome, just watch it.

George Lucas is amazing with names

"my next project is about the tuskegee airmen"
Topless Robot had a nice post about the new Star Tours ride at Disneyland. For whatever reason it really riled my nerd feathers. The ride itself sounds pretty cool (except for the Jar Jar cameo), what really got me worked up with this quote from an Imagineer about how they needed George Lucas's help in naming a character.

Apparently one of the new characters is a "spokesbot" voiced by veteran actress Allison Janney. Imagineer Tom Fitzgerald explains her name: "we couldn't think of anything and knew George [Lucas] was amazing with names. When we told him actress Allison Janney was doing the voiceover work, he instantly said, 'Aly San San.'"

I imagine Lucas was lighting a cigar with a 1,000 dollar bill while he said "Aly San San". Then he rode off on a golden chariot pulled by centaurs. Man he is amazing with names.

May the 4th be Links

The Star Wars Blu Rays suck.Every nerd knows May 4th is intergalactic Star Wars day, so how does George Lucas celebrate? By kicking every nerd ever square in the nuts. It's finally official the huge Blue Ray box set of all the Star Wars flicks won't include the original versions of the original trilogy. I'm starting to think Seal Team 6 got the wrong guy.

30 behind the scenes pictures of Star Wars. There are a ton of real cool pictures here. Of course I picked the classiest one. Carrie Fisher and her stunt double sunbathing on Jabba's Yacht.

Know your voice over actors. Not only is Archer the best show on TV, I think Aisha Tyler's Lana Kana might be the hottest woman on TV. Also there's a small chance I need to get out more.

May the 4th be with you. I'm blowing through my random Star Wars image folder over on my tumbler. There's some good stuff in there, I mean not good enough to post here but still good.

Let them Eat Cake, says George Lucas

If you ever rolled a D20 in your life George Lucas actively hates you. Here's the big press releases for Star Wars on Blu-ray

"The most anticipated Blu-ray release ever -- the Star Wars Saga -- emerges from light speed this September 2011. For the first time, all six of George Lucas' epic films (Episodes I-VI) are united in one complete set. Fans worldwide are able to pre-order now with online retailers.
Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment will release Star Wars in three distinct sets to meet the needs of every Star Wars fan:

* Star Wars: The Complete Saga on Blu-ray (9-disc Set includes all six films)
* Star Wars: Prequel Blu-ray Trilogy (3-disc set includes Episodes I-III)
* Star Wars: Original Blu-ray Trilogy (3-disc set includes Episodes IV-VI)

Star Wars: The Complete Saga on Blu-ray will feature all six live-action Star Wars feature films utilizing the highest possible picture and audio presentation, along with three additional discs and more than 30 hours of extensive special features including never-before-seen deleted and alternate scenes, an exploration of the exclusive Star Wars archives, and much more.

Star Wars: The Complete Saga on Blu-ray will be available for $139.99 US/$179.99 CAN and the Star Wars: Trilogy Sets for $69.99 US/89.99 CAN. Pricing for each set will vary by international territory.

Flanked by a legion of his finest Imperial stormtroopers, Darth Vader himself joined Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment President Mike Dunn at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) to announce the release, vowing "The forces of the Empire will be at your disposal to assure the success of this endeavor."

"The Star Wars Saga is the most anticipated Blu-ray collection since the launch of the high-def format," Dunn said. "The epic franchise pioneered sound and visual presentation in theaters and is perfectly suited to do it again in the home, with a viewing experience only possible with Blu-ray."

"With all six episodes available for the first time in one collection, this is a great way for families and home audiences to experience the complete Saga from start to finish," said Doug Yates, Vice President of Marketing, Online, Distribution, Lucasfilm Ltd. "And with the quality of high-definition, Blu-ray provides the most immersive home experience possible."

"The Star Wars franchise has been the most anticipated Blu-ray release by Amazon's customers," said Bill Carr, Vice President of Music and Video at Amazon.com. "We think that Star Wars will be incredibly popular with our customers, and we expect pre-orders to be very strong."

That's right... no mention if the original trilogy is the original unedited trilogy or the special edition rereleases. I guess in theory it still could be the originals, but the fact that it's not mentioned in a 10,000 word press releases leaves me to believe my son is still going to have to watch these on VHS like God intended him to.

The Scariest Costume

I wish I had dressed up as George Lucas for Halloween. I went as a Sounders fan which I quickly ditched after they lost the the LA Galaxy. Stupid Edson Buddle, you couldn't do that just once in the World Cup?

Spaceballs 2; the search for more money

If the rumors are true (and I'm sure they're not) then George Lucas is contemplating making some sequels to the original trilogy. No word if this will delay that Tuskegee Airman movie he's been working on since before Episode I.