Mega Sized Friday Links

Xbox One: All the Nerdy Details You Don't Know Yet. This is maybe one of the best pro Xbox One articles I've read. It's practically a love letter to the technical specs of the system. Don't get me wrong, it's an impressive piece of hardware. I'm just not convinced it's a piece of hardware people will actually buy. Then again I thought the Wii would be a giant failure and look how that turned out.

Seafaring Must-Reads for a Swashbuckling Summer. I've been debating whether or not I want to re-read all the Game of Thrones books maybe I'll check out something off this list instead. I've heard great things about Master and Commander.

The internet reacts hilariously to the Xbox One event. There's something about Big Redmond that really brings out the best in the internet.

Guy builds awesome basement Arcade with his father. Welp, now I know what I want to do when I grow up. This is easily the most impressive home arcade I've ever seen. If I owned this I would never leave the house. I mean I never leave the house now, but I'd be way better at Pacman.

Xboned! Indies can't self-publish on Xbox One. This is a non story as far as I'm concerned but I had already favorited it so I thought I'd include it on the links. The gist is that Microsoft kinda sucks when it comes to publishing independent games on Xbox live and they're going to continue that tradition. Supposedly that could give Sony and Nintendo a leg up in the console wars but I kind of doubt it.

How social media created and destroyed Tila Tequila. What ever happened to those awesome VH1 dating shows? Oh yeah, that one guy killed someone. This is really a fantastic piece about fame on the internet. Can you believe Myspace was just like 7 years ago? It seems like FOREVER.

Xbox One is a desperate prayer to stop time. Good article with a slightly flawed premise. People that have cut the cable cord are quick to point out that no one watches traditional TV anymore, which just isn't true. Yes, there are more people who consume their TV via internet appliances but that doesn't mean they're the majority. Far from it.

The truth is Microsoft has been trying to get a windows based internet appliance in every living room since the late 90s. They've already lost most of the mobile battle to Google and Apple, there's no way they're losing the living room without a fight. For years people have been talking about this mythical Apple TV (not the little black box) that is some how supposed to solve the TV "problem". Well, too slow Apple. Here comes Microsoft TV.

..it also plays Call of Duty.

When you play the Beer of Thrones you.. get drunk?

This Game of Thrones beer commercial parody is pretty good. It's not great but it's good. It's like the Doran Martell of Game of Thrones beer commercial parodies. He's no Tywin Lannister but he's a hell of a lot better than Renly or Stannis.

The post where I tell Microsoft how to do bizzness

Ok it's official. The Xbox One presser yesterday was a gigantic failure. It's not zune bad right now but it's not great. Go to any gaming or tech site today and you'll see lists of the 10 worst things to come out of the press conference or similar articles about how Microsoft dropped the ball. Head over the reddit and you'll find and endless supply of memes mocking the Xbox One. Tumblr is still all about cats but you get the idea.

The sad thing is that it didn't have to be this way. If Microsoft didn't have it's head so far up it's own butt they would have realized that a lot of Xbox 360 owners have major questions and concerns over the next generation of consoles. In typical Microsoft fashion they ignored most of them and steamrolled right over the rest. I feel like the following changes to their presentation would have had them on a biscuit train with gravy wheels.

Used games. People like the idea of used games more than they actually like using them. No one really wants to go to Gamestop, trust me. Just tell people they can play used games. The supreme court has been pretty clear regarding First-Sale Doctrine. It's a fight you don't need and with digital distribution becoming the norm it's soon to be a moot point. Sometimes you just have to give the employees extra tartar sauce so you can oppress them later.

Set your price. Everyone on the net killed Sony for the lack of details (and machine) at their PS4 press conference, congratulations for following in kind. I know that Sony and Microsoft are playing chicken when it comes to price right now, but just man up and take a stand. Guess what, if you want to lower the price 6 months from now because Sony forces your hand you can do that. People will kind of be excited about it. Also offer an exclusive bundle people want and price it aggressively. Xbox One + Extra Controller + COD Ghosts + 2 months of Xbox Live. Sell it for $75 above the stand alone unit price and watch them fly off the shelf.


Enough with the holodeck. Why on earth didn't you lead with the games you wonderful idiots? I get that the TV thing is where you want to be but this is the first chance to show off your hot new video game system and you start with "look you can change the channel with your voice" and "man switching inputs on the tv used to be so hard". It's insulting to the early adopters you're trying to win over and makes you look like clowns. Stuff like the DVR capability and the fantasy football stats while you're watching a game are cool features but you don't buy a car because it has seat warmers. No one is going to buy an Xbox One because they're to stupid to use their cable remote.


Did I mention the games? They didn't look good enough and they didn't look inventive enough. Lets go back to the car analogy. Coming out and saying your new console is going to have Madden and Call of Duty is like saying the new Ford Taurus is going to have 4 wheels, no shit Sherlock. Lead with new intellectual property (or at least something exclusive like Halo) and make sure it blows us out of the water. Don't even show gameplay footage, show what's possible and just dazzle the crap out of the audience. Show a few side by side shots with the launch titles from the 360. Demonstrate tangibly just us how far we've come in 7 years. While you're at it, signing up with EA was smart but why not bring out the Bungie guys or throw a million dollars at Valve and have them say something generic and nice. Drag out Tim Shafer or Peter Molyneux, anyone you can find that will remind people that video games used to be inventive and exciting. If you don't have cool new games to show off, emphasize how easy the new architecture will be to program for and how xbox live opens up a world of independent development. Just do something, anything to get gamers excited.


Again, I'm no marketing wizard but almost everything that upset and disappointed people yesterday could have been easily avoided. I know that you don't sell the steak you sell the sizzle but you can't sell an empty sizzling plate. It's just not going to happen, just ask Sega, or Atari or Nintendo or any number of companies that were so concerned about being inventive they forgot the reason people buy their products. It's clown shoes Microsoft, clown shoes.

Xbox One Reveal Highlights

Here's all the highlights from the Xbox One Reveal.

Ok, maybe it wasn't all the highlights. The new COD has a dog. So that's something, right?

Call of Duty: Ghosts

One of the big game reveals at the Xbox One event today was Call of Duty: Ghosts. It's not like it was a surprise there would be a new Call of Duty game. COD has pretty much turned into Madden. Until the series really tanks you know we're getting a new one every November. Still, a first look is a first look so it's a medium big deal.

It looks good, it just doesn't look THAT good. Certainly not $400-$500 for a new console plus another $60 for the game and $50 for a second controller and $10 a month for Xbox Live Gold good. This graphic I saw on reddit expresses the problem Microsoft and Sony are going to run into pretty well.

At a certain point I'm sure I'll jump all over one the new consoles. It's just going to take more than a slightly shinier Call of Duty like say... Red Dead Redemption 2: Redemption Harder.

One Xbox One to rule them all

Microsoft unveiled their "next generation console" the Xbox One earlier today. While the event itself might have been a failure due to the lack of Pitbull, nerds on the internet are pretty excited. Kotaku has a good breakdown of all the details but just in case you don't have the energy to click on a link here are the highlights.

The actual hardware specs are what you would expect: Blu Ray player, built in wi-fi, 8 gigs of Ram, 64-bit AMD processor, etc. The controller looks very similar, I guess it has added force feedback.

Games have to be installed on the hard drive before you play them. This will probably eliminate the rental and used game market, or at the very least severely hamstring it.

Smartglass everywhere!

It will act as a cable box with certain cable companies

More cloud storage!

The details are fuzzy but Microsoft and EA have some sort of partnership. It won't be exclusivity but you might see updates and DLC on the Xbox before you see them on the PS4.

There's an exclusive Halo TV show by Steven Spielberg to premiere on Xbox Live. And probably more original content that no one will care about?

Mandatory Kinnect integration everywhere. Turn on your TV with it, change TV channels, start up skype, wash you car.

Game makers will decide if their game will require a constant internet connection. So yes most games will require a constant internet connection.

13 exclusive titles for the launch year.

Price to be determined, launch date is "this Christmas season"

Essentially the details were still pretty sketchy. Everyone wants to know exactly how the system will handle used games and DRM but considering all the moving parts I doubt Microsoft has that all worked out yet. They didn't announce a lot of games, or show a lot of gameplay. The focus was on the user experience, which is something I'm guessing most hardcore gamers could give a flying monkey about.

If the games are good people will buy it. No one is going to buy one because turning on their TV is so confusing that they need to do it with voice commands. Those people aren't playing games that require a 400 dollar super machine, they're playing Farmville on Facebook where they belong.

Megan Fox is Raphael

It's a risky casting choice, not only because she's not a turtle but because weilding those sais is probably pretty tricky with her giant toe thumbs. Also did Megan Fox do something to her face? She looks all botoxy. This is Brian Austin Green's fault isn't it? Stupid David Silver always ruins everything.

More pics of Megan Fox and captain fantastic in the mo-cap turtle suit atTheSuperficial

Goal of the Year

After Chelsea's final match of the season the team took some time to honor retiring player Paulo Ferreira. While Ferreira was giving his speach, the son of backup goalie Ross Turnbull saw the empty net and he went for it.