I'm all in on The Meg

DUDE...

I mean like DUDE...

If you were to ask me about my perfect dream movie, I probably wouldn't have ever said Jason Statham vs a giant shark, only because my small brain could never imagine something so glorious and perfect. This is easily my most anticipated movie of the summer now, sorry Avengers. Deadpool who?

The Expendables trailer, part Deux

Check it out Yo, a new trailer for the Expendables. If I had a hot tub time machine I would travel into the future so I could watch this movie right now. Then I'd travel back to today and rub it in your face that I've already seen it. I'm petty that way.

Crank 3?

i09.com has an interview with Amy Smart where she discusses, amoung other things, the possibility of a Crank 3.

"Can you talk about any particular moment that got your adrenaline up?
We definitely have another Chinatown scene. I don't know if I want to give away. I'll just give you two words: Horse Racetrack."

Ok, if at any point in this movie Statham has sex with a horse my eyes might explode. Do we really need another clerks 2 style donkey show scene?

"Has there been any talk if this movie is successful will there be a 3?
I know definitely that they are talking about a third film but I have no idea what the story would be. "

I know I know, what if they replace his heart with a zombie heart? zombies are super in right now. No wait, lets make it a teenage vampire heart, it could be a sequal to twilight! How about somali pirates? those are in the news a lot.

The Expendables will melt your face... and apparently stallone's

Are you kidding me with this? The Expendables will easily win the Oscar for best movie ever, narrowly beating out Highlander. It's Written by Stallone. Directed by Stallone. Starring Stallone, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Danny Trejo, Eric Roberts, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Randy Coutoure and a cameo by Ahnold. Are you kidding me? This movie is going to be like Predator, if Predator was taking the same growth hormones that Stallone has been taking the last 15 years.

The plot revolves around some sort of group of mercenaries hired by the government to take out a south American dictator. But seriously, with this group of thespians are you really looking for plot? I want explosions and gatling guns, and for danny trejo to get a stunner from steve austin right after randy coutoure gets his arm chopped off while wielding twin shotguns.

Expect the end of the world April of 2010. I'm just assuming the world will end because after watching this what's the point, right?

Crank 2

Crank 2 looks crazy awesome, basically it's Crank plus Bai Ling and Corey Haim. Which is totally what the first one was missing. Since the girls over at YouTube are to scared to post copyrighted material please enjoy the new crank 2 trailer courtesy of RuTube (turkish? russian?).