Operation Kakongoliro! The Ugandan Expendables

There's not a lot of #content tickling my blogging bone today so here's something I saw a couple days ago that I passed on. It's a trailer for the sure to be cinematic smash The Ugandan Expendables. I really like the part where the guy kicks the thing at the other two guys then shoots them. That's a solid action movie move right there.

"Here, catch this"

RATATATATATATATATATAT

The Expendables trailer, part Deux

Check it out Yo, a new trailer for the Expendables. If I had a hot tub time machine I would travel into the future so I could watch this movie right now. Then I'd travel back to today and rub it in your face that I've already seen it. I'm petty that way.

2009 the year in mediocre blogging

Believe it or not I made 407 blog posts this year. That's not bad when you consider I'm barely literate. Here's the obligatory year end recap with the 12 most popular posts and topics in no particular order.

Robots

For me 2009 will always be remembered as the year I became convinced that Robots will rise up against us. You know how most billion dollar software companies located in Redmond WA will release a product that's incredibly buggy and needs to be imediately patched and upgraded right out of the box? Well try downloading and installing new drivers while a 100 pound pleasure bot is trying to rip off your junk.

Jersey Shore

It's easy to make fun of the so called "guidos" on Jersey Shore, what with all the punching and awesome Street Fighter mash-ups. But you who was doing it in January this year? That's right, this guy was.

Lingerie Football

Yep 2009 was the year the LFL took the nation by storm. Or at the very least padded this bloggers hits.

Jimmy Fallon

I still don't get it, but this post about Jimmy Fallon losing his hair is the second most popular thing I've ever posted on this blog. It scares me to no end knowing how many people use the internet to search for Jimmy Fallon.

Diora Baird

She's in Star Trek, then she's not in Star Trek and then she's in Thor. She's the most popular girl on the internet that no one has ever heard of. Her middle name might as well be "google image search".

Listener

I still can't get this song out of my head.

The Expendables

If loving Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren and Jason Statham is wrong, I don't want to be right

Michael Jackson

This post on Michael Jackson I made in June is still raking in the hits. Thank you stumbleupon.com.

Bikini Baristas

I used to live next to one of these. It was called Cowgirls Espresso. There was always some creepy dude standing outside the stand talking with one of the Baristas. Sorry Cowgirls, I want hot chocolate served by girls in chaps, not drama and insecure boyfriends.

Deadpool

I'm not sure why I became obsessed with Deadpool this year, but it happened. At least it wasn't the year of Squirrel girl or Matter Eater Lad.

Cosplayers

Posts about nerds that love to dress up as their favorite nerdly characters have become my go to move. If I collect just 4 more fat Batmans I can trade them in for one skanky Emma Frost or an Edward and a Bella.

Special 1 TV

I can't believe Special 1 TV died along with Setanta Sports. Wait Setanta Sports is still around? Then why the hell is no one making anymore Special 1 TV episodes?

There you have it, what can we expect in 2010? Are mummies the new zombies? Will peopleofWholefoods.com ever catch on? Are skateboarding pandas the new meme? Yes, No, Yes.

The Expendables, the trailer

The Expendables - Sylvester Stallone - Trailer
by 6ne_Web

Well here it is the first trailer for The Expendables. Looks like it took all of 3 hours before it got pulled from youtube. Here's hoping our European friends over at dailymotion have better luck keeping this up.

Just a quick reminder in case you're late to the party. The Expendables is written by Stallone. Directed by Stallone. Starring Stallone, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Danny Trejo, Eric Roberts, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Randy Coutoure and is reported to have a cameo by The Governator. So basically It's one Steven Seagal short of being a time machine to 1989.

Machete vs The Expendables

So the other day Variety reported on a supposed cast list for Robert Rodriguez's new movie Machete. You tell me if this cast doesn't give The Expendables a run for it's money. Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Steven Seagal, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Lindsay Lohan, Don Johnson, Cheech Marin, Jeff Fahey. Seriously... How awesome does that sound?

Is it more impressive than the cast of the Expendables? A quick reminder that the Expendables stars Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Brittany Murphy, Charisma Carpenter and Mickey Rourke.

I know it's seems impossible to top Stallone, the Stath and Dolph Lundgren but come on. Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro and Steven Seagal? That's like combining peanut butter and chocolate and having it akidio chop you in the face .

The Expendables will melt your face... and apparently stallone's

Are you kidding me with this? The Expendables will easily win the Oscar for best movie ever, narrowly beating out Highlander. It's Written by Stallone. Directed by Stallone. Starring Stallone, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Danny Trejo, Eric Roberts, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Randy Coutoure and a cameo by Ahnold. Are you kidding me? This movie is going to be like Predator, if Predator was taking the same growth hormones that Stallone has been taking the last 15 years.

The plot revolves around some sort of group of mercenaries hired by the government to take out a south American dictator. But seriously, with this group of thespians are you really looking for plot? I want explosions and gatling guns, and for danny trejo to get a stunner from steve austin right after randy coutoure gets his arm chopped off while wielding twin shotguns.

Expect the end of the world April of 2010. I'm just assuming the world will end because after watching this what's the point, right?