The Mowing Dead

Saw this on tumblr, thought I'd share.

Stanley from The Office is a stone cold pimp

Here's Leslie David Baker's new video 2 be Simple. There's a sentence I had no idea I'd be writing today.

I have the sound muted on my computer at work, so I have no idea how good or bad the song really is (I have a pretty good idea, though). He could be lip syncing to Rebeca Black for all I care, the video is hilarious.

Half-Life: Origins

There have been 4 Resident Evil movies and not one Half-Life movie? Think about it. Is there any video game better suited for the big screen? Alien invasions, scientific experiments gone awry, vast government conspiracies? It's got summer blockbuster staring Will Smith written all over it.

Someone start working on it, stat.

The internets are leaking: Pedobear edition

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Sorry, allow me to sum up. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ok ok, let me really sum up. Pedobear is a stupid internet meme, he means nothing. He was a cartoon that first showed up on 4chan when people started posting real child pornography, Pedobear was designed to more or less mock and deride the sickos, like cats hazing cheeseburgers he escaped the depths of 4chan and made his way to mainstream internet fame. Of course being an advanced internet user you should already know that.

However the news team in Albuquerque New Mexico must still be on dial-up because they really think Pedobear is the cartoon mascot for pedophiles. Because that's totally what Pedophiles are into, mascots that easily identify them as a pedophile.

In closing this is why norms shouldn't be allowed to use the internet.

Links got back

Great news for people who want big butts. Kim Kardashian is releasing a workout video she taped a couple years ago all because her ex-husband said she had a fat ass. If only he had called her stupid we'd finally have the spiritual sequel to Dustin Diamond's instructional Chess video.

10 skits that prove The Muppet Show was for adults. This last weekend my wife and I dropped our son off with his grandparents and then went to go see The Muppets. So yeah, I kind of agree that The Muppets are for adults. BTW, two thumbs up.

10 of the greatest comic book video games. OMG I love Captain America and the Avengers. The rest of this list pretty much blows (especially the love over the Death of Superman storyline), but since they put Captain America on there I'll still give them their due.

The time I rapped on the Internet and everyone hated me. If you missed it, last week this girl put out a video rapping about how much she loves her new Windows 7 phone. It was really really horrible. I mean really bad. Here she tries to play it off like she was just having fun, but still.. don't put that on the Internet if you don't want to be ridiculed for eternity.

The Harlem Globetrotters went fishing..

Here's some guys chilling with the Harlem Globetrotters doing a trick shot with a basketball and a fishing pole.

I'd really like to know what went into putting this video together. Are these guys famous youtube trick shot fishermen or basketball trick shot artists? How do they know the Globetrotters? If that's Big Easy, where's Flight Time and whatever happened to Medowlark Lemon? So many questions...

The Gentlemen's Rant: Shopping

While men hating shopping is a tired old trope that I don't necessarily agree with (I rock Christmas shopping, hard) it doesn't mean I don't find this rant hilarious. I particularly like the part about gift cards. I'm kind of a picky dude and while I appreciate the fact that my parents want to get me something from Best Buy, it's probably for the best that I pick out my own tech toys.

Need I remind you of the "pan and scan" X-Men-2 incident from 2004, mom?

The Avengers get Scar-Jo'd

Artist Kevin Bolk noticed that every promo picture Marvel has released for The Avengers has featured Black Widow's ass so took to the internets.

..the guys are all in heroic stances but Black Widow is almost always in an impractical, curved-spine “booty shot” pose. Figured I’d flip it around for my lady friends out there. Seemed only fair. Them’s some strong male characters, amirite?

Strong male characters indeed, you could iron a shirt on Thor's ass. Not that you'd want to do that, I mean where would you put the sleeve? It's just impractical.

Holy Polyester Pajamas Batman!

For just $34.95 at Amazon.com you too can be the most comfortable dork in the world.

Pictures of Superman and Wonder Woman snuggies after the jump. For around $80 you can have your very own mini Justice League!

Happy Thanksgiving!

via Lisa Hanawalt

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!

Here's why the internet loves Communnity so much. After having a main character say the word "Beetlejuice" 3 times over the span of 3 seasons Beetlejuice was finally summoned. And by summoned I mean he appeared in the background of a scene for like a split second. It's equal parts pointless, random and awesome.

True, It's not the kind of layered wordsmithing you get on a show the caliber of Whitney or Two Broke Girls. Still, it's not bad for a show that is getting beat in the ratings by reruns of Wings.

Blinding Links

Battlefield 3 patch coming soon. What you see above is a player being blinded by a flashlight, in the daytime, from like 20 yards away. It's my biggest gripe with the weapons in the game. Apparetly EA is going to fix it via patch. Now if they can just fix people driving off with the jeep before I get a chance to hop in we'd be golden.

The Rise and Fall of the fake Jack and Jill twitter. Remember when Adam Sandler used to make good movies? Ok, they were never that good but at least they were funny. What the hell happened, did he stop doing drugs or something?

The best of the pepper spraying cop meme. I know everyone has seen these by now, but I didn't have time to post this yesterday. Every once in a while real life interferes with the matrix.

Neo Geo made of wood. These wooden Neo Geos are gorgeous, of course they're as expensive as they look. 600 bones for the system and another couple hundred for the sticks. That's a lot of money just to play King of Fighters.

Greatest DVD comentary of all time!

Until yesterday I had no idea that Arnold Schwarzenegger did a commentary track for the Total Recall DVD. That's cause the last time* I was at Martin's place and we all voted to watch a movie my pleas for Total Recall kept getting shouted down. Seriously, Total Recall was right there. How could we NOT watch it?

Anyway, the above 4 minutes of commentary are comedy gold. It's almost too good. For the first couple minutes I thought it had to be someone doing an impression. I think I'll get this for myself for Christmas. This and a Kindle Fire. This a Kindle Fire and Skyrim.


* this may or may not have happened 6 years ago

Extreme Piggy Back Rides

This seems legit

via pleated-jeans

TLC brings the geek loving

Not content with just exploiting little people, bakers and little people that bake things, TLC is now in the nerd business. Or specifically the nerd dating business, in this preview from their new show Geek Love.

This reminds me, what ever happened to shows like Blind Date or The Fifth Wheel? Those shows were awesome. I think Geek Love could be a huge hit if they just added Aisha Tyler as host. Or maybe just do a show about Aisha Tyler baking things, I'd watch that too.

Now that's how you sell a car

Here's a commercial for the Fiat Abarth. I must say it's a nice upgrade over the "does that thing have a hemi" guy. Of course I'm not sure Chrysler should really be encouraging people to have sex with cars. I mean that's what this commercial is about, right?

guys? anyone?

Star Trek watching Star Wars

Here's a video of the crew of the Enterprise, NCC-1701-D to be exact, watching Star Wars. It's pretty awesome.

How have I never noticed Riker sexual harassing Data before? Seriously about one minute in he pretty much straddles the guy. Bad Riker! You might be able to get away with doing that to Holodeck characters but Data is fully functional and programed in multiple techniques. That's harassment!

New Avengers posters are a thing now

Marvel released a bunch of posters for The Avengers movie today, or yesterday, what am I a time wizard?

The posters are pretty cool looking, I like the superimposed logo and with the exception of Caps new electric blue costume nobody looks too goofy. I still don't buy Loki as the lone villain of this movie. Last we saw him in Thor (spoilers!) he was falling off the rainbow bridge into cosmic nothingness, I bet dollars to doughnuts he's bringing Skrulls or Kree back with him.

Anyhoo, larger versions of most of these after the jump, just in case you want a better look at Black Widows ass or Bruce Banner's bedroom eyes.

New Star Blazers cartoon

Last year Japan got a pretty awesome live action Star Blazers (or Spaceship Yamato) movie. Next year they're getting this awesome looking animated tv show. You know what we're getting over here in the states? Nothing, in fact they're canceling Community.

I'm moving to Japan.

Walk these links

Victoria's Secret Angels get superheroed. Meh. Seriously, If I wanted to see sexy girls dressed up as superheroes I would just do another comic-con cosplay post. Plus Kanye was there.. so you know.

Help stop the government from ruining the internet. Congress is close to passing a couple of bills that would make it easier for ISPs to censor the internet. I'm telling you we're 5 years away from paying for the interent like we do for cable tv.

Oh you want ESPN.com and Wikipedia? For that you'll need to upgrade to our silver package for a low cost of 79.99 a month.


The DC collection by converse. This summer I went swimming at a friends cabin. During the course of the day I wore 2 different Captain America t-shirts and an X-men shirt. So if you ask me if I'm getting a pair of these shoes you're obviously not paying attention to my story. I'm a Marvel guy.

Marvel cancels its last comic with a female lead. And it was X-23. Seriously, the only female lead they had was rule 63 Wolverine? People give DC a bunch of stick for being sexist but somehow this looks a lot worse.

Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 looks stupid good

Jimminy Christmas this trailer for Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 looks amazing. I mean it doesn't show any game footage (which is something I usually hate) but the graphics and the 3-d effects are mind bottling. Not to mention the fact that it features redonkulous match ups like Chun-Li vs Iron Fist, Frank from Dead Rising vs Taskmaster or Viewtiful Joe vs Rocket Raccoon. That's right Mother loving Rocket Raccoon is in this game.

My video game budget is pretty much nothing this Christmas but I'm going to have to get my hands on this game. Maybe I can steal a copy at the Try-n-Save, I hear Don Brodka has finally retired.

NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA Batbear!

via nerdapproved

2016, the greatest movie ever

I swear if the Oscars don't recognize 2016 in the best Foreign film category this year I will burn this place to the ground.

Here's the trailer for the soon to be Ghanan blockbuster 2016 part 1 and 2. It's apparently about a CGI alien that throws stuff at people. And there's a guy that throws a motorcycle, and a car. I think the glaive from Krull shows up here too. Keep an eye out for it the next time you head to the cinerama.

The Cantina where everyone knows your name

enjoy

Frank Miller; Crazy not really a good artist anymore

If you pay any attention to comics you know Frank Miller kinda went off the deep end a couple years ago. Sure everyone loves Sin City and The Dark Knight Returns but somewhere between 300 and Holy Terror he lost his marbles. Oh and he can't draw anymore, seriously look at that picture of Wonder Woman. Does she have scoliosis? Is her arm reacting to a bad bee sting?

But lets get to the crazy part. Take it away Frank Miller:

The "Occupy" movement, whether displaying itself on Wall Street or in the streets of Oakland (which has, with unspeakable cowardice, embraced it) is anything but an exercise of our blessed First Amendment. "Occupy" is nothing but a pack of louts, thieves, and rapists, an unruly mob, fed by Woodstock-era nostalgia and putrid false righteousness. These clowns can do nothing but harm America.

"Occupy" is nothing short of a clumsy, poorly-expressed attempt at anarchy, to the extent that the "movement" – HAH! Some "movement", except if the word "bowel" is attached - is anything more than an ugly fashion statement by a bunch of iPhone, iPad wielding spoiled brats who should stop getting in the way of working people and find jobs for themselves.

Wake up, pond scum. America is at war against a ruthless enemy.

Maybe, between bouts of self-pity and all the other tasty tidbits of narcissism you've been served up in your sheltered, comfy little worlds, you've heard terms like al-Qaeda and Islamicism.

And this enemy of mine - not of yours, apparently - must be getting a dark chuckle, if not an outright horselaugh - out of your vain, childish, self-destructive spectacle.

In the name of decency, go home to your parents, you losers. Go back to your mommas' basements and play with your Lords Of Warcraft.

via comicsalliance

Lords of Warcraft? I love it that a guy who writes and draws comics for a living basically ends an argument with "suck it nerds".

I get it that Frank Miller still wants more Islamic heads to roll over 9/11, but how does that connect to the occupy wall street movement at all? Is Osama widening the income gap between workers and CEOs from the grave?

Anyhoo, Frank Miller's crazy, but you probably knew that already. After all he did write this:

Hack these Links

Real life superhero gets fired from his job helping kids. Seattle's own real life superhero, Phoenix Jones, was unmasked a couple weeks ago after he was arrested for pepper spraying some hoodlums. As a result of the arrest he can no longer work with Autistic and developmentally disabled children as mandated by state law. That sucks.

10 Dumbest things students said about Joe Paterno's firing. I get that that most of these college kids are just falling into the trap of group think and the allure of feeling persecuted by outsiders, but seriously. Get bent.

Is your kid a computer hacker? This is an article from 2001 that's supposed to help you identify if your kid is a hacker. It's so hilarious it has to be fake. Also, Angelina Jolie in Hackers; I'm a fan.

16 funny test answers. This indeed.

Abobo's Big Adventure

Abobo's big adventure is a game being developed by the uber nerds at I-Mockery.com. It stars Abobo from Double Dragon and looks like the MOST AMAZING GAME I'VE EVER SEEN!!!!!

Seriously check out the video, it's beyond words. Mark my words, Abobo's big adventure is going to make Skyrim look like House Party II.

Star Wars set to AC/DC

Ever wonder what Star Wars would be like if it was set to Thunderstruck by AC/DC? Well today is your lucky day. Here's A New Hope set to Thunderstruck by AC/DC. Your welcome.

btw, do I even have to say that this is a thousand times better than the special edition edits? No? Good.

Captain America's best friend

Today the entire state of Washington got together and voted to make my job harder. This Corgi is the only thing keeping me from an aneurysm.

He-Man is the %1

All that power and he still can't afford pants.

Vision wants to be in the Avengers movie

..and are you going to tell him no?

via dorkly.com

Marvel's big announcement: "screw you kevin"

So until yesterday I was all lined up to buy a Kindle Fire as a Christmas gift to myself (trust me, I've been very good this year). I've been wanting some kind of tablet as a big boy toy for a while, but the iPad is just way to expensive. Especially when all it will get used for is netflix and angry birds. The Fire's $200 price point seems pretty reasonable and I like Amazon for the most part so everyone's happy, right?

Wrong. Yesterday Barnes & Noble and Marvel Comics announced that they would be offering a huge selection of graphic novels exclusively to the new Nook. This is of course retaliation for DC offering a bunch of it's graphic novels exclusively on the Fire.

Now I'm not a big digital comics guy, but I think I could be. My collection is starting to get out of control. The more and more I think about it Digital might be the way to go for me, especially if they could lower the price a bit or offer some sort of cheaper subscription service, something akin to Zune's "Seasons Pass".

The problem here is that I really don't want to end up with a device that limits me on which publishers I can and can't read, that's Betamax/HDdvd kinda stupidity. Hopefully this exclusivity bs won't last, I still plan on getting a Kindle Fire and I don't want to have to complain about this again next year.

Need for Speed trailer is all Michael Bay all the time

Michael Bay should really give up the whole ruining people's childhood memories thing he's got going on and stick to directing video game trailers. This new trailer for the new Need for Speed game is pretty awesome. I haven't bought a racing game since GT3, but this might be worth a rent at least. That is assuming all the Battlefield 3 servers go down for a couple days.. which I could totally see happening.

Too little too late, Call of Duty

Activision rolled out the big guns this weekend in their battle to win the hearts minds and pocket books of gamers everywhere. This commercial with Sam Worthington and skinny Jonah Hill was pretty much everywhere, especially if you were watching any football.

I'm not gonna lie, it's a cool commercial. I mean skinny Jonah Hill totally weirds me out, and Sam Worthington is pretty much awful in anything, still it really makes me want to play more Battlefield 3... I mean Call of Duty.. No I mean Battlefield 3.

I should call in sick tomorrow.

Underworld Awakening Trailer

I loved the first Underworld movie. Vampires, Warewolves, Bill Nighy, Kate Beckinsale in a leather catsuit, what's not to love? If it hadn't also stared that stupid jerk who looks like that guy in Creed, it might have won an Oscar. Well after a couple really awful sequels, one staring Rhona Mitra (who is also attractive in a leather catsuit) the studio has decided to hit the soft reboot button.

Meaning everything the other 3 movies were so obsessed over doesn't matter anymore and Kate Beckinsale is back in the catsuit, this time in 3D! So go see it, or don't.. either way is fine with me.

Stop touching these links

The Masturbating Bear returns to Conan. I can't believe that NBC tried to claim the Masturbating Bear as intellectual property. You can't own the idea of a bear pleasuring himself. That's mother nature man!

Man kills his wife after she smashed his Star Wars toys. This picture of Kristen Bell in Fanboys is unrelated, I just felt this story was so depressing it needed some nudity. Tasteful nudity of course.

The Best of Geek Squad Gus. It's real easy to rag on the Geek Squad guys but someone has to help dad set up his wireless network and it sure isn't going to be me. Ok, it was me but still not all old people have kids.

The Dos and Don'ts of time travel. This is a long read but it's hilarious. Go read it.

If Quake had been made in 2011

Here's a little video some uber-nerd put together wondering what Quake would be like if it had been published today. Honestly for me the joke could have stopped with the menu screen and the DLC button.

Facedrink the drink for your stupid face

Lets just cut to the quick. This is Facedrink, the social energy drink. Hit me with your best shot press release:

WHY FACEDRINK?
Why Not!

So it’s this simple answer that has inspired me to create facedrink™. I want facedrink™ to be a sophisticated beverage which provides the social energy that people need to get things done on a daily basis.

Facedrink™ achieves the goal that I set out for by providing you with the extra energy needed to be social or to deal with your boss.

"Why Not!" is my favorite marketing slogan of all time. Rat flavored ice cream? Why Not! Sand filled Ipad? Why Not! Used 1995 Ford Probe? Why Not!

I like the think that Facedrink was conceived by some drunk facebook stalker who was hit by lightning while looking for bikini pictures of old girlfriends. It's either that or the Winklevoss twins have struck again!

You can buy this crap on Amazon, It's one star rated so you know it's good!

New GTA Saints Row the Third Trailer

And in response to the GTA V trailer the fine folks at THQ just released a new trailer for Saints Row the Third. Now graphically this thing looks like a piece of crap, but it sure does look like it's more fun to play than GTA IV was.

I don't know what happened to the GTA series where everything had to be all realistic and stuff. Dildo beatings and hookers used to be right in their wheelhouse, now it's all part time cab driving jobs and needy girlfriends.

Oh yeah, Burt Reynolds playing Burt Reynolds? That's gold Jerry.

2 4 Broke Links

The Destructoid Battlefield 3 review. This is easily my favorite review of Battlefield 3, it's also one of the worst reviews I've seen for the game. Now don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the hell out of it (every night from 10pm to midnight, xbox live gamer tag KevFun. hit me up yo!) but it is a flawed game that I wouldn't recommend to everyone.

4 Sci-Fi series Netflix should bring back. I really like the idea of Netflix picking up the rights to some canceled shows but I'm afraid we'd get less Arrested Development and more Ghost Whisperer or CSI Miami. What do you mean CSI Miami is still on the air? Are you sure?


10 Badass bikes from Nerd-dom. Good list with 2 exceptions. Kaneda's bike needs to be way higher and why no love for Cy-Kill?

5 easy ways 2 Broke Girls could improve itself. This show sucks sooo hard, I can't believe anyone actually enjoys it. They should just cancel it and put Kat Dennings on something good like Cougar Town.

New Grand Theft Auto V trailer is new

The first trailer for Rockstar's Grand Theft Auto V hit the web today. I gotta say it looks really good, like really really good. The half second shot of the windmills at Palm Springs blew my mind. Hopefully the game will be fun and full of win like Red Dead Redemption not boring and overrated like Grand Theft Auto IV.

Beaker is the new Mr Fuji

I was sooooo upset last night when I realized I missed the Muppets on WWE Raw. Dish network plays most cable channels on east coast time so it was on at 6pm, right while I was getting all geared up for halloween. It wasn't until a little John Cena came to my door looking for candy did I realize I missed Raw.

On all accounts the Muppets were the highlight of the show. Oh well, maybe they'll be back. I mean it's not like anyone is watching the show for Jack Swagger.

BTW, I totally gave that kid dressed up as Cena the "you can't see me" hand gesture and you could tell it made his night.

The Pug Factory

via damnthatswhack

well this is unexpected

Donald Glover of Community fame has a hip-hop alter-ego (don't we all?) named Childish Gambino. Here's the video for his first single (do they still call them that?) Bonfire.

I gotsta tell ya, when I heard Donald Glover and Childish Gambino this is not what I expected. It's like all dark and stuff and he sounds kinda like Blueprint. I liked it a lot more the second time I heard it, I think the first time I was expecting him to rap in basic spanish and for Abed to pop up. It might be worth a torrent.