ESPN and the EPL

Well I'll be snookered. I didn't see this happening so soon.

ESPN has acquired the TV rights to two of the weekly Premier League slots on US television for the 2009-2010 season. Beginning on August 15, 2009, each week ESPN will feature the 7:45am ET Saturday game and the 3pm ET Monday game.

Those two weekly timeslots were previously held by Setanta Sports who in the past had sub-licensed those games from Fox Soccer Channel. Despite Setanta losing the two timeslots to ESPN, Setanta US will continue showing the two 10am ET Saturday slots as well as the early Sunday morning ET kickoffs and the Tuesday and Wednesday midweek Premier League matches.

~ epltalk.com via stumbleupon

No word yet if these games are going to be shown in High-Def, although I don't see why they wouldn't be. Will this put some pressure on Fox Soccer Channel to update their production? Does this make up for the World Wide Leader losing the rights to the champions league? Am I going to score a goal in my co-rec game tonight? I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Netflix; kinda like magic if magic was sorted by hand

The Chicacgo Tribune has a very interesting story on how the Netflix processing warehouses work. Let's just say it's not all propane powered robots.

Associates inspect each returned disc. They rip open each envelope, toss it, pull the disc from its sleeve, check that the title matches the sleeve, inspect the disc for cracks or scratches, inspect the sleeve for stains or marks, clean the disc with a quick circular motion on a towel pulled tight across a square block of wood, insert the disc into its sleeve, and file the disc in one of two bins. The bin to the right is for acceptable discs, the bin to the left is for damaged discs or discs not in the proper sleeve....

Employees are expected to perform this a minimum of 650 times an hour. Also, customers stuff things into the envelopes. Scribbled movie reviews, complaints, pictures of dogs and kids. That needs sorting too. After 65 minutes of inspection, a bell rings. Everyone stands up.

Calisthenics!

Wow... that sounds kinda awful. I guess the next time my copy of What a Girl Wants ships a day late I'll be a little more forgiving. I'm still going to write an angry letter, but I'll refrain from using any 4 letter words. That means I can still use bastards right?

Machete vs The Expendables

So the other day Variety reported on a supposed cast list for Robert Rodriguez's new movie Machete. You tell me if this cast doesn't give The Expendables a run for it's money. Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Steven Seagal, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Lindsay Lohan, Don Johnson, Cheech Marin, Jeff Fahey. Seriously... How awesome does that sound?

Is it more impressive than the cast of the Expendables? A quick reminder that the Expendables stars Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Brittany Murphy, Charisma Carpenter and Mickey Rourke.

I know it's seems impossible to top Stallone, the Stath and Dolph Lundgren but come on. Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro and Steven Seagal? That's like combining peanut butter and chocolate and having it akidio chop you in the face .

The Last New GI Joe Trailer

This looks a thousand times better than anything Steven Sommers has ever directed.

So the big news in GI Joe land is that Paramount has decided not to screen The Rise of Cobra for movie critics. A sure sign the movie is going to be fantastic!

G.I. Joe' is a big, fun, summer event movie - one that we've seen audiences enjoy everywhere from Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland to Phoenix, Ariz. After the chasm we experienced with `Transformers 2' between the response of audiences and critics, we chose to forgo opening-day print and broadcast reviews as a strategy to promote `G.I. Joe.' We want audiences to define this film.

Rob Moore, vice chairman of Paramount Pictures

The sad part here is that I still totally want to see it. Maybe I've spent to much time in Phoenix, Arizona.

History's Greatest Mohawks

The Mohawk is only the best haircut ever and I'm not just saying that because I have one. It's a fact, I looked it up in a book.

Whether you're a Vietnam vet packing heat, an extreme skier, or a post apocalyptic anarchist looking for gasoline the mohawk is a hair cut that says "Hey, look at me. I'm totally awesome". The following is the definitive list of the most awesome mohawked people ever.


Mr. T with the business man's mohawk

Road Warrior Animal

Zangief

David Beckham

Glen Plake

Lars Fredericksen from Rancid

Brody Dalle from The Distillers

Travis Bickle

that guy from The Road Warrior

Mariah Carey embodies Artistic Integrity

Fun news from the AV Club

Island Def Jam will soon begin (in the enviably clever words of Billboard) “jamming on a new business model” that involves “integrating brands into artists’ CD booklets,” beginning with Mariah Carey’s forthcoming Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel. The album will reportedly come with a 34-page reproduction of an issue of Elle (which the magazine is co-producing) that features exhaustively researched “Mariah-centric editorial ("VIP Access to Her Sexy Love Life," "Amazing Closet," "Recording Rituals")” that will crack the Mariah Carey mythology wide open, alongside ads for brands like Elizabeth Arden, Angel Champagne, Carmen Steffens, Le Métier de Beauté, and the Bahamas Board of Tourism.

Kudos to Mariah and Island Def Jam. They've finally found the key to stopping music piracy. I was totally going to bit torrent the crap out of her new CD, but that was before I knew I'd miss out on her "VIP access to her sexy love life" and advertising from the Bahamas Board of Tourism. Please someone take my money, quick!

Kitten Mitten Tuesday

Oh Charlie, I couldn't quit you if I tried.

The Essense of Seinfeld

So I've seen this picture popping up everywhere on the interwebs. I have no idea who drew it, but it's pretty inspired. Every image links back to a Seinfeld episode. From the pee stained couch to the Whiz's crown.

I think Puddy's magic 8-ball jacket is my favorite, followed by Mike the phoney's broken thumbs.