Lets talk about how awful this is

Here's the first Lucasfilms stamp of approved trailer for the Phantom Menace rerelease.. in 3d!

You know what, I don't think I want to talk about how awful this is. There's just so much to hate.. the idea that Lucas honestly believe you should see Episodes I-III before you watch IV-VI is just sooo argh!

See I told you I didn't want to talk about this.

The plan here is that Lucas is going to rerelease each movie, in 3-d, about a year apart from each other. Which if my math doesn't fail me, means my son will be 5 years old when the good trilogy hits theaters. That leaves me in quite a pickle. Nothing and I mean nothing would make me happier than seeing these movies in the theater with my son. The problem is they won't really be the movies I love anymore. They'll be in glorious Han shot first 3d! I don't even want to think about it..

This is why parenting is so hard. Maybe Logan will really like Star Trek.

It's like I can touch the stars

So it's official I guess. Lucasfilms has announced that Star Wars; The Phantom Menace will be released in theaters, in 3d on February 10th, 2012. The plan after that is to release another film every year in supposeded chronological order.

The obvious bad news here is that they're starting with the Phantom Menace. The good news is that by the time they actually get around to Star Wars my kid will be around 5 years old, which should be perfect timing. I was 7 when I saw Star Wars for the first time, but it was on cable not in the theater. I'll be honest with you, I'll probably cry. In fact now that I think about it, I'm sure I will. Those damn 3d glasses hurt my eyes.

image via toplessrobot

3D in 3D.. in 3d

I'm going to wait for it to come out on DVD.

George Lucas will be raping your childhood again

like this but with more pew pew
So George Lucas has decided to release all 5 Star Wars films (attack of the clones doesn't count) in glorious 3-d. It's one of those news stories that's not really news since everyone knew it was coming. Kinda like "peace talks in the middle east break down". I mean you know it's going to happen eventually but when it actually does you're still really sad.

Anyway, lets just get this over with Fox News:

George Lucas plans to rerelease the entire Star Wars saga in 3D starting in 2012. First up: Episode 1: The Phantom Menace.

According to a report in industry newspaper The Hollywood Reporter, Lucas has held off on releasing 3D versions of the films until there were enough screens available to make Star Wars 3D a sizeable event.

Oh thank goodness. For a minute there I was worried that this wasn't an artistic decision but instead just some sort of cash grab. Now that I know this will be an "event" it sounds like a great idea.

Lucas purportedly is lining up the theatrical rereleases as a lead-in to the ultimate home-viewing experience. Beyond that, the property would launch to other 3D media.

What the F does that mean? Other 3d media? Are there 3d newspapers out there and no one is telling me about them? Damn it Fox News, talk about burying the lead.

George Lucas wants more of your money, this time in 3-d

I'm not saying George Lucas hires a black guy to carry him around, but...
George Lucas isn't stupid, he sees James Cameron pushing around wheelbarrows filled with Avatar cash. That's why he's going back to the well for like a 9th time by re-releasing Star Wars, again, this time in 3-D.

George was so impressed with the movie’s technology – which took home the trophy for Best Motion Picture – Drama at the 2010 Globes – that he thinks it could help pave the way for creating 3-D versions of his “Star Wars” movies. “We’ve been looking for years and years and years of trying to take ‘Star Wars’ and put it in 3-D,” George explained to Access. “But, [the] technology hasn’t been there. We’ve been struggling with it, but I think this will be a new impetus to make that happen.”
~ gammasquad.com

I checked.. the internet doesn't have a facepalm gif large enough to properly express my feelings. This one came close..