2013, wrap it up

Christmas is over, I'm fat with candy, the lights on the house should be down in 3-4 more weeks and another year in mediocre blogging is the books. As J. Peterman so famously told Elaine, "congratulations on a job.. done"

2013 was a bit erratic for me as far as keeping up the blog goes. The month after I had my daughter everything pretty much ground to a halt. Turns out raising kids is a HUGE time commitment. Who knew? I've done less cosplay posts this year (those take an incredible amount of time to put together) and I definitely hit my quota of single image/one sentence posts.

As you can imagine I did a lot of posts on the next generation consoles and the current state of console gaming. I also did more reviews this year than I've done in the past. Hopefully I'll get to do more of those in 2014. I used the "gratuitous use of babes" tag a lot less. That's probably why the blog was the least profitable since I've started using adsense. I believe the grand haul this year was right around $14. I figure the rate at which I'm going In about 25 years I'll be able to quit my job and do this full time.

Now without further ado, here are the top posts of the year, which is a meaningless way to look at it since the front page is by far the most popular destination and I don't do any click through stories or slide shows.

In a slightly depressing development the most popular posts in 2013 were all written in 2012 or earlier. This Comic-Con Cosplay; Special achievement in hotness edition still rakes in the hits. I'm not 100% sure why but I have a feeling it has something to do with boobs.

Coming it at #2 after all the 2012 posts is this clip of the fake Ninja Warrior streaker that NBC wanted to go viral. You win this time NBC!

Next and more in my wheelhouse was this series of Cosplay posts from Emerald City Comic Con. What I saw of ECCC 2013 was pretty cool. I'm buying my 3 day passes to next year's convention this weekend. Expect me to complain about money a lot in March. Those spider-man prints aren't free son.

Avril Lavigne fighting a bear-shark? is probably the most DevilDinosaur thing on this recap. I'll miss a lot of things about 2013 but I'll miss you most bear-shark.

THE Ohio State Marching Band Dinosaur

As I mentioned before. A lot of my reports and ramblings on the Xbox One/PS4/Steambox made the top of the list this year. I predict that 2014 will see a lot of games that will blow all the launch titles out of the water and subsequently have me thinking about what sort of deal I can get on any superfluous organs I have. I mean who needs two kidneys these days?

You Are Not Going Out Dressed Like That.

I was surprised at the lack of Star Wars stuff this year. The post about JJ Abrams being announced as the director for Episode VII made some hay but that's about it. In sadly related news 2013 saw the end of LucasArts studio as we knew it. I guess we'll always have Day of the Tentacle...

The one review that I did this year that got a lot of clicks was this one for Heroes of Cosplay. I've been pretty unapologetic about watching and enjoying shows that a lot of nerds think are pandering or offensive to "nerd culture". We're living in a new nerd utopia where you can buy Spider-Man and Avengers t-shirts at every store in the mall. I think we'll be able to survive King of the Nerds season 2 (thur, Jan 23rd).

And to round things out here's my favorite youtube channel the Screen Team with their clip Cosplay Kitchen: Avengers Cookies. There's something about their videos that I really enjoy but I just can't quite wrap my hands around it.

And now just for fun, here are the top 20 search keywords:

lfl (lingerie football league, of course)
devil dinosaur blog
nicole scherzinger boobs
scarlett johansson avengers
diora baird
half life episode 3
nicole scherzinger tits
stoya
soccer mom
carmella decesare
cosplay boobs
hoverhand
sexy star wars
alex morgan butt
kat dennings hot
superhero porn
the choice
cosplay slip
hot soccer moms
80s nerd

Nicole Scherzinger Tits? Hot soccer moms? STOYA? Am I running a nerd blog or a porn blog? Ah well, I guess these days there's not much of a difference.

2014 should be a big year. Look for more obscurities I've found on reddit while feeding my daughter at 3am, another site redesign and more stories about Hot Soccer Moms and Alex Morgan's Butt.

Christmas Wish Links

How To: Build Your Own LEGO Christmas Ornaments. I really wanted to build some Lego ornaments this year, but I never did get around to it. The only things my kid wants me to build out of lego are space ships and helicopters. Christmas ornaments aren't very high on the list. I'll try and do some next year.

Paul Dini: Superhero cartoon execs don't want largely female audiences. Here's a shocker for you. It's hardly a secret out there that cartoons and toys have a very symbiotic relationship but when you actually hear stories about the Green Lantern cartoon (which was good) getting canceled because stores wouldn't buy any toys because they never were able to sell any toys from the movie (which was bad). Essentially without toy revenue you can't sell a cartoon these days.

Why the Web Won't Be Nirvana. Back in 1995 Newsweek published an article about how the internet wasn't all it was cracked up to be. It's pretty high-larious. Good on Newsweek for keeping it up for this long so everyone can laugh at them.

11 Insane Things You Didn't Know About Santa Claus. When you start looking at it objectively, the origin of Santa Claus is pretty cray cray. You don't even have to look very far. I've been reading my son The Night Before Christmas every night for the last week or so and even it that he sounds more like a dirty ol hobo (my favorite part is that he smokes) than the classic Coca Cola Santa. Long Story Short, next year I'm putting up a Yule Goat in my front yard.

Merry Christmas everyone! I probably won't post anything for the next week or so (unless I get that life size tie fighter I've been asking for). Next up is the 2013 year in review. Will your favorite post be included?

probably not.

Christmas Wish List: Time to Draw

Something happened this Christmas season that depressed me a bit more than it probably should have. WAY WAY back in October I asked my wife for a drawing tablet for Christmas. Not a super fancy one but an el-cheap-o from Monoprice. I had one like 15 years ago that stopped working when computers stopped shipping with serial ports. There's just so much you can do digitally that you can't do on paper that I thought it would be something fun to play around with.

By the time the first week of December rolled around and we started looking at our gift budget this year I told her to scrap the whole drawing tablet idea. Why spend $80 on something that I won't use for 6 months? 7 months? I don't know when do babies start sleeping? I've completely forgot.

So there you are. For Christmas this year I'd like a bit more time to draw (and maybe even learn to use the fancy markers I bought 2 years ago). I understand that a lot of that is on me and how I prioritize what little free time I have now but it would be nice if maybe, just maybe, the kids decided to go to bed before 10pm.

EXTREME.. dude your face

I guess there's a documentary called The Crash Reel that's about the rivalry between Shaun White and guy I've never heard of Kevin Pearce. Here's a sneak peak. And by sneak peak I mean 3 and a half minutes of guys eating it.

After watching this I can honestly say I've never wanted to snowboard less.

Skyrim the Tank Engine

One of the best things about Skyrim is just how moddable it is on the PC. Also one of the worst things about Skyrim is just how moddable it is on the PC.

Christmas Wish List: Toys of Tots

Every day in December (newborn baby schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

So here's my one serious Christmas wish this year (at least in blog form). I want you to donate to Toys for Tots or some similar program designed to get Christmas gifts in the hands of needy kids this Christmas. I know Les Schwab is doing a drive, so are a lot of local fire and police stations. Fred Meyer was doing one last weekend but that might be over now. I think Walmart has something going on too. You don't have to spend a lot. 10 bucks can buy a pretty kick-ass toy these days, especially with all the sales going on right now.

I already talked about how my son and I participated in the toy drive our local fire station was having. I know it's not curing cancer or anything but as Eek the Cat used to say "It never hurts to help".

The 4 Most Insulting TV Ads You See Every Christmas

The 4 Most Insulting TV Ads You See Every Christmas -- powered by Cracked.com

Normally I don't bother linking (or really even watching) these Cracked videos. You should see the mess of an embed code the use. It's like 4 paragraphs. However, this video on holiday advertising was pretty high-larious. I especially like the part on Christmas jingles. Happy Honda-Days indeed.

Batman in Classic Christmas Movies

I know I'm an idiot but I swear this schtick never gets old to me.

Christmas Wish List: Emad Dirt Rider

It's been about a year and a half since I last skateboarded. I'm stuck in an interesting position in that one the trucks on my longboard is broken but I don't really skate enough to go justify spending the money on fixing it which in turn keeps me from skating because one of my trucks is broken... Also I'm old now and all these kids on their short boards with tiny wheels scare and intimidate me.

But if I had the Emad Dirt Rider Electric Skateboard ($650) there's no way I'm getting intimidated by some skinny jeaned wearing punk. Look at that thing. It has giant off-road tires, an 800-watt electric motor and a top speed of 19 mph.

I'm pretty sure I'd break my hip.

So it Goes (Links)

Memories Of Doom, By John Romero & John Carmack. Last week Doom turned 20 years old. I was going to do a thing about it but I never got around to it. I still believe that Quake was more influential to the computer game biz than Doom but It's close. If you've ever played a game on a lan you can thank John Carmack and John Romero.

Breaking Good Guy News: Andre Johnson Is Still The Best Guy In The World. Here's a story that will warm your cockles. NFL star Andre Johnson took a bunch of underprivileged toy shopping. Hopefully he used his Toys R Us reward card 'cause he's sure to see some crazy coupons in the mail.

In a related story I tried to teach my kid a lesson this year by taking him toy shopping for the toy drive our local fire station puts on every year. He picked out a star wars toy all on his own and when we went to the fire station he handed it to one of the firefighters and told him thank you. Being a parent is hard work and you lose a lot more than you win but last night I was incredibly proud. The candy cane they gave us tasted like victory (and grape.. yuck).

These incredibly vivid color photos of Antarctica were taken in 1915. These pictures are pretty cool. I didn't even know they had color photography in 1915. Next thing you'll tell me is they had electricity and running water too.

The 10 Worst Gifts for Comic Book Readers. I like ComicsAlliance and in general I love Chris Sims's articles but this list is complete horseshit. I'd LOVE a stack of random weird ass comics. Or those Batman Crocs? TOTAL SWAG. A Thor movie staring Kevin Nash? I WISH I HAD DOUBLE CAPS LOCKS TO EXPRESS PROPERLY HOW MUCH I LOVE THAT!

15 powerful insights from Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse Five. I read this for the first time about a year ago. It's one of those books that was kind of underwhelming to me but the more I talked about it with my friends and wife the more I liked it. Maybe I'll have to check it out again.

damnit Disney, this isn't what I want

Star Wars: Attack Squadron is a new free to play (ie crap) PC game that's supposed to make you forget that Lucasarts isn't a thing anymore and Disney is just licensing out Star Wars IP to any old publisher that will pay them with cash up front. Wait did I said "supposed to make you forget"? I mean "is an immediate reminder".

Why can't we just get a new X-Wing vs Tie fighter game? Is that really too much to ask?

Christmas Wish List: Sweet Guitar Skills

Every day in December (newborn baby schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

I wish I could play the guitar. I'm not looking to be Joe Satriani or anything, I just would like to know how to play guitar.. competently. I don't want to be that guy struggling to get through the first couple bars of Paradise City for 10 excruciating minutes. I also don't want to be the guy with an acoustic that only knows your favorite campfire worship songs. I just want to be able to play Code Monkey for my kids while they're still young enough to think their dad is cool.

SteamBoxes are here

Over the weekend a couple very interesting photosets showed up on reddit, unboxing pictures of Valve's new SteamBox. I didn't want to post them all here, so go head over to imagur and check them out. I'll be here when you get back...

Good? Ok, let's talk. That's a PC. I've built plenty of PCs in my day and that is a PC. Looking at that back panel that's a mico-atx motherboard if I've ever seen one. Not that there's anything wrong with that. It certainly looks like it has all the bells and whistles. HDMI and DVI ports (multiple monitors?), co-ax for some reason, eSata for extra storage, lots of sound options, standard keyboard connector, mini-usb ports in the front. It's got the works but it's nothing you can't pick up on NewEgg right now.

The case itself looks slick, especially turned on but it all looks a bit cheap to me. The USB ports on the front aren't 100% square, the controller looks like it's made of cheap plastic and around the back of the box the lid doesn't looks completely flush. But what can you expect from a demo unit? Valve shipped 300 of these out to some eager nerds, I've heard reports that they basically shipped boxes with 3 different sets of specs. The one I've linked to looks like it got the works.

4 cores @ 3.2 GHz, 16 gigs of system RAM, 3 gigs of Video RAM, GeForce GTX 780, those specs are nothing to sneeze at. You might not be set for 4K gaming but as far as pure power goes it blows the doors off the Xbox One and the PS4. A couple things are conspicuously absent. No physical disc drive (sorry Blu-ray fans) and no mention of hard drive space on the system info screen. I mean it has to have some sort of hard drive. I can't imagine the OS is just loaded onto a flash drive and you have to bring your own external drive to the party. I wonder if they went solid state to reduce load times and save space on the inside.

Long story short, looks cool I want one. Developer support will still make or break this thing but I like what I see so far. Now just make with the Half Life 3 valve.

It's December, Let's go Wakeboarding!

Ever been Wakeboarding in the winter? I have, once. It was awful. I mean it was a fun thing to do but holy shit-snacks it was cold. These 4 EXTREME-bros decided that wakeboarding in the winter wasn't cool unless you were grinding on a ice shelf, so they downed some Redbull, went to Patagonia (real place, right?) and shredded their way through some glaciers.

The video is pretty amazing as are these pictures. Next time I complain about the heater not working in my car I'm going to remember these guys risking hypothermia for nothing but the love of their sport and... well probably complain anyway.

Christmas Wish List: Critical Hit d20 Ice Mold

Every day in December (newborn baby schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

I love ice in my drinks. A lot of ice. I have a cup here at work and I swear I put so much ice into it that it barely holds a quarter can of soda. Of course I also love needlessly fancy geeky products. So OF COURSE I'm completely in love with this d20 Ice Mold. Finally a way for me to combine my love of bourbon with my love of D&D. No matter what you roll it's a critical hit every time.

Remember 1994

Hey kids remember 1994? Well according to this youtube clip commemorating all the tv shows, movies and music of that year I don't at all. The most surprising thing, other than learning that ER and Friends are 19 years old was how AWFUL all the music was. There's like a good song by Blur and the Beastie Boys and the rest is just terrible... yeah I'm looking at you Kurt Cobain.

Christmas Wish List: A Good Godzilla Movie

Every day in December (newborn baby schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

The last month or so I've been getting all those weird Encore movie packages because I expanded my cable for a month so I could watch MLS playoff games. In doing so I've gotten to see not only the terrible Matthew Broderick Godzilla movie but a bunch of the cool but still awful Japanese Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla movies. So what I'm getting at is I've been in a real Godzilla state of mind lately. Then this teaser trailer for the new American Godzilla movie hit the net today. I like what I see so far, but I'm a big monster movie apologist. Cloverfield? Love it. Pacific Rim? Love it. Dinocroc vs Supergator? Love it times infinity.

Here's hoping I can love the new Godzilla movie a bit less ironically than Dinocroc vs Supergator.

The Lego Movie: The Video Game: The Trailer

Here's a trailer for the video game based on the Lego Movie. It looks pretty cool, I'll probably pick it up for my son after we go and see the movie.

While we're here lets talk Lego Video Games. I have 4 at home, Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga, Lego Harry Potter: Years 1-4, Lego Batman 2 and Lego Marvel Superheroes. Lego Star Wars is the oldest but every game that has come after it has actually gotten a bit worse, in my opinion. Lego Harry Potter has too little action and a huge emphasis on puzzles. Lego Batman 2 relies too much on a terrible Grand Theft Auto rip off style of play, with some infuriating controls to boot. Lego Marvel Superheroes while the prettiest of the bunch has the same awful GTA rip off set up, with some of the worst menu navigation I've ever seen. For example in Lego Marvel Superheroes when you're walking around Manhattan and you come to a level you've already beat if you walk into it you immediately go to Story Mode. If you want to replay a level on Free-Play mode you have to select if from the map. It's just frustrating to play, not to mention it crashes ALL THE TIME.

Seriously it's 2013, there's no excuse for a Xbox 360 game to crash every other time you play it. I'm looking your way Battlefield 4.

Ping Pong Ball Volcano!

I had zero idea ping pong balls were highly combustible. Now that I know, I know what I'll be doing this 4th of July.

Accidentally burning down the cabin with flaming ping pong balls.

Sex Godzilla: The Trailer

Ok, so my kanji is a little rusty. There's a chance this movie isn't called Sex Godzilla. Honestly, Sex Godzilla is probably a lot punchier than what ever it's really called anyway. What else would you call a movie about a female pilot that gets "excited" every time she battle a Kaiju that looks suspiciously like Godzilla?

Christmas Wish List: More Time

Every day in December (newborn baby schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

One of the things you become keenly aware of when you have kids is how you have zero time for anything anymore. This last weekend I had 4 things on my to do list. Grocery shopping, Laundry, put together a calendar on shutterfly.com for a Christmas gift and put all the boxes I took out of the crawlspace to get to the Christmas decorations back into the crawlspace. And that's the short realistic to do list. The real to do list includes things like picking up all the rotten apples that fell from my trees and washing the bird crap off my car.

So what did we get accomplished this weekend? Laundry and Grocery shopping. To be fair we also made a quick trip to Fred Meyer to pick up my son a new pair of jeans. So I guess we got 3 things done.

Long story short, I need a time machine so that I can do important things with it like Christmas Shopping and cleaning up my basement. I promise I won't try to kill Hitler with it or anything.

edit: That makes it sound like I'm pro Hitler or something. I'm totes not. I'm just pro-time space continuum. I don't need a Tardis landing on my roof, I just really need to get those rotten apples picked up.

Christmas Wish List: A New Tablet

Every day in December (newborn baby schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

The Christmas before last about half my family pooled their money and surprised me with a Kindle Fire. It was a very nice gift, and way more than I thought I was getting that Christmas. Even though it's not without it's faults (terrible web browsing), I've used it a ton so I feel like it was definitely worth it. The problem now is that it's now 2 years old and 2 years might as well be 1,000 in tech years.

I think it's about time I get a new tablet. One with a bit more functionality than the Fire. The Fire is still great for watching netflix and reading books but it's starting to get a little long in the tooth for anything else. I've run into my share of games and applications that either hang or just don't want to run on it. Even though they're cool and all I don't really feel like getting sucked into Apple's iUniverse so I don't really think I'd like an iPad. However the Surface has a couple features that are really interesting to me. The issue there though is that I still like reading books on the Kindle. I can't see myself reading a book on the surface, plus I'm already tied into the Amazon-verse with all my previous purchases.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I want Santa to bring me a new Kindle Fire DX. Or maybe a Microsoft Surface... I don't know I just want something that will play Angry Bird Star Wars II and supports telepods.

Professional Wrestling Promo of the Week: CM Punk Pipebomb

I've decided that every Friday I'm going to post a little thing I like to call the Professional Wrestling Promo of the Week.

I just watched the CM Punk best in the world DVD so this CM Punk pipebomb (ie worked shoot) from 2011 is fresh in my mind. Man what a promo this was. You know something in wrestling worked when all the mainstream media pick up on it the next day. It's laughable to think that Punk didn't have the ok from the WWE to vent his frustrations like this but it's fun when wrestling storylines and reality sort of blur together.

Ron Burgundy Serious Newsman

Will Ferrell took his Ron Burgundy act to Bismark, North Dakota where he sat in on and entire half hour news broadcast. It's pretty surreal.

Christmas Wish List: Serenity Now!

Every day in December (newborn baby schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

I think this one is pretty self explanatory.

Amazing Spider-Man 2: The Trailer

Hey kids, here's a trailer for the Amazing Spider-Man 2. Looks good to me but then again I was a pretty big fan of The Amazing Spider-Man. As someone who's a big fan of the Evil Dead it's hard for me to say this but I think it was a better movie than than Spider-Man was. As far as Spider-Man movies go here's my rankings:

Spider-Man 2
The Amazing Spider-Man
Spider-Man




The Wolverine

Spider-Man 3

Anyhoo, I have a bad feeling I'm not going to like this movie. One of the things I loved about the Amazing Spider-Man was how true to form the Lizard was. This robot mech suit Rhino and UBER-emo Harry Osborne doesn't do much for me. But hey, I like the new spider suit. So that's something, right?

Christmas Wish List: Kano DIY Computer Kit

Every day in December (newborn baby schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

It's no big secret that I regularly put together my own PCs. As a matter of fact I believe the last tower I used 100% out of the box was my first PC, a 386dx I got at ADPS computer world back in 1992. However, The Kano DIY Computer Kit isn't your average PC build. First off it's cheap. $100 and you're good to go, including keyboard and touchpad. Only thing you have to provide is a monitor or tv screen.

One of the things that makes this build so unique (other than the form factor) is that it's intended for you to learn basic programming on it. Something that outside of some basic html I haven't done in decades. TL/DR: looks fun, I want one.

NERD ALERT! We have a Wonder Woman

WB just tightened even the loosest of pants today by announcing that Gal Gadot would be playing Wonder Woman in the Man of Steel sequel, tentatively titled "The one with Ben Affleck playing Batman".

It's worth noting that the only thing you probably know Gal Gadot from is the last 3 Fast & Furious movies. I don't know why but I find this hilarious. Don't get me wrong, I've already pre-ordered my tickets to 7ast & 7urious but come on... those movies are filled with terrible acting, including Miss generic European accent here.

The other rumor worth noting is that the Man of Steel sequel very well might have other members of the JLA in it. Flash and Green Arrow are the names that keeps popping up the most. I'm all for it. The Justice League isn't that complicated. Flash runs fast, Green Arrow shoots arrows, Aquaman talks to fish, there's no reason you need to drag this out into 6 different origin movies like Marvel did. Everyone is pretty familiar with the characters that make up the Justice League. If the movie is a hit then start working on your spin offs. Trust me, if The Flash just shows up on screen no one is going to get confused over who he is. Everyone's seen Sheldon's shirt on the Big Bang Theory.

Captain Picard sings Let it Snow Make it So

Remember the episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where Wesley learned the true meaning of Christmas? No? Well it was great.

ISIS Orientation: Gun Safety

Archer premieres its 5th season in January, in celebration (ie. effort to drum up viewers) FX has been releasing these ISIS Orientation videos. This one about gun safety is probably my favorite. Call me old fashioned but there's something about guns and alcohol that just feels right.

Christmas Wish List: Star Trek TNG Pajamas

Every day in December (newborn baby schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

OMG, I would be the most comfy bad ass in space with a pair of these Star Trek: The Next Generation Pajamas. The biggest problem with them is I'd almost be too sexy. Ok that's the second biggest problem. The biggest problem would be all the Star Trek puns my wife would have to endure... Engage indeed!

Dear Santa

I'm 99.9% sure this is fake but who cares it's still funny.

Amazon would like to bring about the robot apocalypse a bit sooner

I'm sure you've already seen this on the News/Facebook/Grandma's Pintrest but yesterday Amazon blew everyone's minds away when they announced that they were working on a 30 minute delivery option that would have your packages of less than 5 pounds delivered to you via flying robot drone. It really is terrifying. We're like 2 steps away from skynet here.

Christmas Wish List: Makita LXT Cordless Autofeed Screwdriver

Every day in December (newborn baby schedule permitting) I plan on posting one thing from my official DevilDinosaur Christmas Wish List (patent pending). Why? Because I can.

One of the few nice things about my house is the plot it is on. It's a nice corner lot with a huge backyard. I've got a plum tree, a couple pear trees, 4 apple trees and a couple grape vines. I also have a couple hundred feet of fence that's in various stages of rotting away. I have zero money to pay someone to come in and fix the fence so as it falls, I head over to Home Depot and pick up what I need to replace it section by section. So far I've done about 6 new posts and 32 new pickets and a whole bunch of new cross sections for support.

This is why I want the Makita LXT Cordless Autofeed Screwdriver. My little 12 volt lithium-ion Ridged simply isn't getting the job done. Give me one of these Makitas and I'll have that fence fixed by 2015 easy.. 2016 at the latest

Ron Burgundy Isn't The Curling Announcer Canada Wants But He Is The One It Needs

Not content with increasing sales of Dodge Durangos something like 56% Ron Burgundy has taken his act on the road. First stop Curling Announcing at Tim Horton's Roar of the Rings. I believe he's headed to ESPN and SportsCenter later this week.

Post Turkey Links

My Top 50 Controllers. This isn't my list of the top 50 video game controllers, it's some random guy on the interenet's list. Still, it's a good list. It's also a good reminder that the Dreamcast had some of the weirdest controllers ever.

Fabulous Lady Deadpool Cosplay by ShiveeeJam. Hello Lady Deadpool.

Pentagon Super-Hoarders Waste Billions Buying Stuff They Already Have. Next time you hear some talking head on TV or radio talking about how cutting military spending is a threat to national security remind him that the Pentagon is literally losing money. As in they buy supplies and then immediately lose those supplies in giant warehouses because the Military has never heard of Excel. And that doesn't even count all the M1A1 tanks they keep making even though the army say they don't need them.

Slaps, Lies, and Videotape: Irene’s True Story of 1998’s The Real World: Seattle. Another great read if you have 10-15 minutes to burn on late 90s nostalgia. Irene touches on the casting process, what it was actually like to film the show and just how much the city of Seattle hated the cast. Oh man how I remember that. You could tell everyone in Seattle was both super excited to get the attention of a show like the Real World and super excited to show a national TV audience how little we cared about a show as crass and fake as The Real World. The local indy papers would have reports every week of where the cast was and what they were doing all of them super snarky. It was sort of the most Seattle thing ever. Caring about showing others how little you care.

The Triumph of Links

Half an operating system: The triumph and tragedy of OS/2. Good gravy, find yourself a few minutes and go read ArsTechnica's epic tale of IBM, Microsfot and the OS/2 operating system. It really is amazing how Bill Gates and Big Redmond made all the right moves back in the 80s and early 90s. Think about it this way, Microsoft pants IBM so hard they gave up on the personal computer market in 2004. Gave up... the guys that practically invented it. That would be like Apple deciding that smart phones weren't really their bag anymore.

Great read, can't recommend it enough.

Background Actors Who Have No Idea What They Are Doing. I've been watching this gif all morning like it was the Zapruder film. Why is that guy throwing his dog? WHY!!!????

The Greatest Doink the Clown Story Ever Told. I want this to be true so bad. It probably isn't but can't we just pretend? What harm would there be?

Cops Called Over Cosplayer’s Underboob. I'd like to think that when the cops took this call it played out very much like the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine complained that Monk's was only hiring women with big breasts. Like every cop in the city showed up to help file the report. The entire CSI unit showed to take measurements and pictures.. the whole 9 yards.

How to Fight a Baby

Here's the video you're going to see on facebook and twitter like A THOUSAND TIMES today. It's of a hipster dad pretending to fight his infant child. A couple things here: First off that's one cute chunky monkey. Secondly he's totally missing two of the better baby fighting techniques, pinching their cheeks and tickling their feet. Those are my go to moves whenever my daughter is kicking my ass.

"As God as my witness I thought turkey's could fly"

I know this makes me hella old, but whenever I think of Thanksgiving day episodes of TV I think of this classic WKRP episode where they drop free turkeys from the traffic copter.

Also Bailey was super hot, amirite?

Magneto Killed JFK, because why not?

The producers of X-Men: Days of Future Past have been doing a bit of viral marketing lately. First up was a fake website from the supposed makers of the Sentinels that was quickly followed by a youtube commercial for the Sentinels, now there's a website (with accompanying youtube clip of course) TheBentBullet.com that presents the case against Magneto being the mutant on the grassy knoll.

I'm not sure if this is poorly timed or not, seeing how last week was the 50th anniversary of the JFK assassination. Until I see a story on buzzfeed on the 11 ways this advertising campaign is insensitive, I'm going to go with not.

NASA regrets to inform you, you're a dumbass

I wish I could find the original source of this but every link just leads to another link. I'm just going to say I found this on reddit and wash my hands of it.

Top 10 Games of this Generation

The Screen Team (as featured on this blog before) have asked their viewers for a list of the top 10 games of this generation. GammaSquad did something similar a couple weeks ago but they drew it out over like 5 different slideshows and featured far less cleavage, so I'm going with this one.

It's a pretty respectable list. A couple of the Wii and PS3 games I haven't played so I can't comment on just how baller Super Smash Bros: Brawl really is. I had zero intent of doing this but off the top of my head these are the best games I remember playing on the 360 (and the few times I got my hands on a Wii or a PS3):

Red Dead Redemption
Bioshock
Battlefield 3
Mass Effect
Skyrim
Arkham City
Uncharted 2
Halo 3
XCom Enemy Unknown
COD: Black Ops


I know putting a Call of Duty game on here blows away any "hardcore" gamer cred I never had but as a reminder I've been in baby land most of the year and haven't really had a chance to get my hands on some of the bigger titles from 2013 like GTA V or The Last of Us. Also COD: Black Ops was dope, so get off my back.

Here's my counter offer

I haven't had to interview for a new job in quite a while but I think this could work. The cartoon bird just needs to add a couple more cartoon bags of money.

Toy Review: Spider-Man: Spider-Cycle Chase

Hey it's a toy review? Look at me branching out into new things.

In the TMI category my son has been having a big problem with self imposed constipation. For whatever reason he's afraid to poop and will sometimes hold it in for 3 or 4 days. Kids are weird. One of the ways we're dealing with it is a reward system for him going potty. He gets a sticker for every time he goes and when he has enough stickers we take a trip to the toy store and he gets a toy. This has led to us buying a lot of Legos over the last couple months.

The last trip to the store my son was telling me what set he wanted before we even got there. He was focused like a laser. He wanted Spider-Man, Venom and the flying car. Honestly this set was a bit more expensive than what we like to spend on potty rewards (19.99 at Fred Meyer) but I'm a pushover when it comes to buying toys for my son.

It's a pretty impressive set. It's probably my favorite of all the ones I've bought him. For 20 dollars you get 3 mini-figures and two vehicles. Even if Spider-Man's spider-bike is on the small side that's a pretty good value. Plus the mini-figures you get are good ones. Venom (not pictured) and Spider-Man are a good pairing, Nick Fury almost feels like a bonus.

My favorite thing about the set is that the two vehicles are really solid. With the Star Wars and Ninjago sets I've put together there are a lot of pieces that aren't attached very well so they're always falling apart. Nick Fury's flying car is practically a tank. You can play nice and rough with these and not worry about parts ending up under the couch. The build time was pretty quick. I think it took me about 15 minutes to put everything together (minus the mini figures which Logan does) and a lot of that was done one handed holding a baby. From the box I was afraid this set was going to have a lot of large specialty pieces that wouldn't fit anywhere else once Logan was old enough to start really using his imagination but it really doesn't. Outside of the hood and windshield for Nick Fury's car the pieces are actually pretty small. There's definitely a lot of potential to really pimp these out.

Overall I give this set two thumbs up. Would buy again.

Professional Wrestling Promo of the Week: Scott Steiner and Size Matters

I've decided that every Friday I'm going to post a little thing I like to call the Professional Wrestling Promo of the Week.

Scott Steiner is probably insane. He's the best worst promo guy ever. By that I mean his promos are always so bad they become awesome. This one from the dying days of TNA where goes on and on about how "big" he is, is an instant classic.

Why Specs Don't Matter Anymore

As you may recall, yesterday I posted a video review for the Xbox One. Here's what one viewer (ie best man at my wedding) had to say:

I like how he addressed game play, graphics, etc. Is that not important anymore? Are consoles becoming cell phones i.e. focused on a bunch of other functions except for the one thing they are supposed to be?

-B

Short answer: no with a but. Long answer: hey, here's a lengthy post about the next generation of consoles...

The video game industry has changed a ton over the years. I ran an article about the demise of LucasArts a few months ago where they mentioned that the cost of producing a GTA style Star Wars game would be upwards of $100 million. Think about that for a second. In 40 years we've gone from Steve Wozniak programing Atari games all by himself to teams of thousands blowing through $100 million dollar budgets. And it's worth it, GTA V made a billion dollars in less than a week.

So, if the video game industry is bigger than it's ever been why haven't reviews for the Xbox One or Playstation 4 focused more on games? Because there's barely any difference between the two systems. They use the same media, they share a similar GPU architecture and both have roughly the same amount of system memory. Sony and Microsoft have independently designed two very similar systems to make sure they don't miss out on any hit titles. With so much money on the table neither can afford to ostracize any game developers by creating a machine that's too different from the competitor.

Think about it from the game developers side of things. If you're going to spend $200 million dollars on the next GTA V, you need to make sure you're selling to the broadest market you can, even if that means nerfing your game a bit. We've already seen that with the last generation of consoles. As far as hardware goes the Playstation 3 was more powerful than the 360, yet games like Call of Duty and Madden looked pretty much the same on both systems. Game developers smartly decided to save money and maximize sales by programing for both systems at the same time which meant the more powerful system was limited by the hardware of the weaker system.

Editors Note: This is a wildly simplistic look at software developing but for this particular discussion I think it will do.

Oh sure there are console specific titles out there but how many of those are actually developed 3rd party? 2? 3? Outside of the Wii I can't name a single one.

The point is, if you're looking to play Call of Duty: Infinity or Grand Theft Auto VII: Missoula Montana either system will do. The choice between the two systems is going to come down to the exclusive titles Sony and Microsoft make (ie Halo vs Gran Tourismo), which system provides the best user experience and of course cost. Microsoft took Sony's lunch with the Xbox 360 providing a better user experience than the PS3 at a lower price. It will be interesting to see if this time around they can win the war by offering a better user experience at a higher cost.

Of course I could write about 4 more paragraphs on how the console war for Microsoft is really a trojan horse designed to get Windows 8 (don't call it Metro) into your Cheeto stained hands but I digress.

Now does this leave Valve and the Steam Machine in a position to potentially sweep all the hardcore gamers off their feet? Kind of. The Steam Machine still has a pretty big hill to climb. It runs on Linux, so essentially you're asking developers who have been programing PC games for Windows for the last 18 years to start prgraming them for an alternate OS and Hardware. Ask Apple how well that works.

The big advantage Valve has is a large existing user base in Steam and the fact that PC graphics DEMOLISH even the two newest consoles. Seriously there are PC rigs that right now will play games in 4K resolution. I could easily see a scenario where a Steam Machine becomes the killer piece of hardware to pair up with your new 4K TV but that doesn't make it a lock. With the Steam Machine Valve isn't just throwing their hat into the console war, they're looking to completely change the way gamers look at consoles .

Rev3 Games and Adam Sessler's Xbone review

Quite a few co-workers know that I'm a big geek (I think all the comic books and toys I keep in my office have somehow tipped them off) so that means I've had the "Are you getting a PS4 or an Xbox One?" conversation about a dozen times. The short answer is I don't have the money for either. Not even close. Like I still owe about two grand to the hospital for baby number two kind of no money. Even if Santa dumped a pile of cash down my chimney for Christmas it would all go to bills and credit cards before I could even think about buying a new video game machine. Even then I think I'd buy one of the new Nintendo 2DS and get my Pokenmon on.

Still the next generation console race does interest me so I thought I'd post this Xbox One review by Adam Sessler. It's probably the most balanced review I've watched or read on the Xbone. Also it's the review that made me realize that even if I had the money it's most definitely not the console for me. Why spend the extra $100 on a console that's biggest perk is how well it integrates with cable TV when I have my Xbox hooked to the basement TV where I don't even have cable? Also are they still doing that thing where you have to have an Xbox Live Gold subscription to use Netflix? Screw that noise. Someone pass me the Pokemon machine.

GoldieBlox is a thing I will buy my daughter

GoldieBlox is a building/engineering toy line geared towards girls. I hadn't heard of them before this Beastie Boys meets Rube Goldberg video but now I'm thinking about picking some up for my daughter this Christmas. Sure they might be a little advanced for my 2 month old, but you should really see her. She's flapping her arms around at a 3 month old level.

Professor Xavier Fires Jubilee

Pete Holmes (of the Pete Holmes show) has been doing these really funny Ex-Men skits for a couple weeks now. I never posted any because by the time I had actually watched the first one it was like a week old which in internet time is YEARS.

Anyway in this one he Xavier fires Jubilee. My favorite part of this is that he mentions Burning Man and about 10 years ago X-Force actually did have to stop a bad guy at Burning Man. Of course Jubilee wasn't there when she was actually needed.

Also did you know Jubilee is a vampire now, because of course she is.

I'm 3 1/2 Bananas behind today

Gymkhana 6 is real and it's spectacular

Want to watch Ken Block do things with a car you should only be able to do in a video game? Me too.

A mind forever Linking

15 Ambitious Plans to Colonize the Moon I love every one of these. If I didn't have a family I'd be the first one to sign up for the floating moon base. With my luck they'd give away all the top spots to people with college degrees. Even in space work experience doesn't count for anything.

Who Actually Owns Your Favorite Beers. I guess I'm a Heineken guy. Who knew?

As the years have gone by and my digestive tract has been ravaged by all sorts of mysterious ailments I've found myself really enjoying lighter beers. Lagers and Pilsners and such. I swear I even look at an IPA and I start feeling acid reflux.

Outright Geekery’s Top o’ the Lot: Star Wars Vehicles (One-seaters). I'm trying to expand on the regular links to gizmodo, destructiod and comics alliance. Here's a nice quick article about the best single seaters in the Star Wars franchise. If you have a page worth checking out send me the link. Big Poppa Pump is your hook up.

10 Golden Age Sidekicks whose name sounds like gross sex moves. A couple of these are a bit of a stretch but most of them.. whoo boy. There is zero chance I'm looking up Sandy the Golden Boy on Urban Dictionary. Somethings you just can't unread.

Professional Wrestling Promo Of the Week: Macho Man Randy Savage and the Cream of the Crop

I've decided that every Friday I'm going to post a little thing I like to call the Professional Wrestling Promo of the Week.

It's almost unfair to all the other professional wrestlers both past and present to start with Randy Savage but who cares? They're not Randy Savage, so screw those guys. "Cream of the crop" is the quintessential Macho Man promo and one of my favorite ever. It's completely insane. He's like a loaded high tension spring just waiting to explode. Near the end just when you think he's about to really go off he just ends it and walks away. It's so perfect.

Where does he keep getting those cream packets?

EXTREME INSANE Domino Tricks!

Here's like four minutes of some pretty sweet domino set ups. I really like the ones that are like full towers and when they fall they go KABLOOOWEEE!!

The FIFA tantrum to end all FIFA tantrums

Ever been so upset at a video game that you've thrown the controller? How about smashed the TV with a karate chop then rip it off the wall and maybe possibly try and kill your friend with it?

psshhh, and you call yourself a gamer.

Blizzcon 2013 Epic Cosplay Showcase

Here's a video of cool and exciting cosplay from last weekend's Blizzcon. And by "cool and exciting" I mean boobs. Here's video of a bunch of cleavage from last week's big Blizzcon event. Merry Christmas everyone!

30 for 30: The Space Jam Game

I haven't actually watched this yet but it's so relevant to my interests that I thought I'd go ahead and post it blindly.

BTW, Space Jam is 18 years old. So it's old enough to vote and smoke. My guess is it will vote for someone stupid like Ted Cruz. Thanks a lot Space Jam.

Ordinary Batman Adventures