One Million Pageviews (does the Dr. Evil pinkie raise thing)

A couple days ago the old blog hit one million pageviews. Now, I'm pretty sure I started this stupid thing in 2009 so a million pageviews over 8 years isn't exactly anything to crow about BUT I remember how few hits my first couple websites got and a million might as well be a billion. Seriously those first couple websites I built in, I want to say 1996, would get like one or two hits a day. I think my main website which this one replaced had something like 4,000 hits when I retired it. My Pimpbot 5000 site actually did quite well, but that was back in the day when if you could get your website listed by Yahoo you were gold.

Anyway, if you're one of those one million, thanks a bunch. If you're a bot in one of the million, BEEP BOOP BEEP BEEP.

2015, Another Year in Blogging Done

Welp, 2015 was definitely a year. I guess it was a good one. I got a new car but I also hurt my back pretty bad and had to do about a month's worth of Physical Therapy. I'm sure other things happened too but I'm still groggy on nog.

I had a lot less posts on the blog than I did last year, which is like a 3 year trend now. It's almost like having two kids leaves you with less time than just having one. Really it's not just the kids though. Scapegoating them is fun but it's not 100% accurate. I've been getting more sleep lately, which is great but has really cut back on lining up posts the night before. Also work has been a bit cray cray this year, so it has been harder to sneak in some sweet sweet blogging time in the afternoon.

Ok, enough sob story let's get on with the year end recap. Here are a few posts that either were memorable to me, or had a bunch of hits:

Can't believe I built my retropie last January. Seems like that things been sitting in my closet for years now. I kid, I kid. Sort of. I played it with my son just a couple weeks ago, but it doesn't get anywhere near as much use as I thought it would. Still it cost less than $40 and was a fun project.

This list of My Son's Top 5 Cartoons hasn't changed too much. We're still watching WAY too much Paw Patrol but we've added the most excellent We Bare Bears into the mix so I'd call it a wash.

Murder Mystery Dinner: The Review

I'm 99.9% sure I never got around to posting a full recap of my zany adventures at ECCC this year. This 2015 Emerald City Comicon Cosplay Rodeo! was about as close as I got. This year I'll try and keep everyone more up to date on how much cash I dropped on sketchbooks and T-shirts.

The New Star Wars Droid is NOT CGI

After like 6 years of doing this I think I did my first real video game review, Pixel Gun for the Kindle Fire. I know, I'm tackling the AAA titles here. Next up I might review the newest game from Rovio. Can you believe those birds are still angry?

The trailer for Hand Job Cabin wins the award for most popular post of the year. I think I made like $0.69 from it.

The annual San Diego Comic Con Cosplay post did well again this year. Cosplay posts always bring in the hits but they're kind of a pain to put together. Maybe in 2016 I'll stop doing the round-ups and just do a bunch of single picture posts when I have nothing else to run with.

Suck My Surface.

Welcome Home Spider-Man?

2015 will probably be best remembered for the year we finally saw Star Wars Episode VII, the movie nerds like me have been waiting on since George Lucas originally told some magazine that he visioned the Star Wars saga as a story told in 9 parts. At least that's what Kevin Martin said George Lucas said way back in 5th grade. Sure, The Force Awakens wasn't Lucas's original vision for the franchise but after Ani and Jar Jar I don't think anyone was complaining. Of course while we said hi to new Star Wars wars we also said Goodbye Radio Shack. I don't know where I'll buy transistors and rechargeable batteries anymore.

Oh wait, Amazon.

And now by unpopular demand here are the top 10 search terms that lead people here:

american ninja warrior streaker
nicki minaj ass
american ninja streaker fake
handjob cabin
thunderwear
comic con costume slip
katy perry loses shorts
christmas in october
christina hendricks leather
half-life 3


Half Life 3? Yeah good luck with that one nerds. See you in 2016!

2014, Back to the Future

Based on just the overall number of posts, 2014 was actually the least productive year I've had blogging since I started. I think I did a lot more reviews and long form ramblings than I have in past years. So I guess it's a trade off. Less posts but they take like a minute and a half to read instead of 30 seconds. I guess that's progress? I don't know man, I'm barely awake this morning.

So, without any further pomp and circumstance, let's take a look at the most popular or memorable posts of 2014.

I forgot I even wrote this post on Fantasy GI Joe Draft Rankings. I think I had plans on making this a big series of rankings and never got around to it.

2014 showed us the some of the worst the internet has to offer in The Fappening and Gamergate. The ring of hackers trading on celebrity nudes had been rumored for years but it's one thing to hear about something it's another to actually see it. Anyone that has any sort of internet connected device should be terrified of the Fappening. Anyone can steal anything, it's horrifying.

As always, Cosplay posts get lots of hits. ZOMG Cosplay is Killing Conventions! and Emerald City Comicon 2014 Cosplay Showcase both got a lot of hits. Maybe in 2015 I'll double down on Cosplay. I can practically taste that $100 pay out from adsense.

Back in my 2013 wrap up I predicted that the new generation of consoles would roll out a bunch of titles that really blew away the launch ones and have me jonesing for a PS4 or Xbone. Man was I wrong. Sure, there are some nice looking new games out there but most stories revolved around nerfed graphic settings or buggy launches. Except for the WiiU. Have you played a WiiU? The new Mario Kart is the heezy for sheezy.

My High School Reunion: The Review. Sweet Christmas, when did I get so old?

Squirt Guns: The Review. I guess whenever I started reviewing squirt guns?

Anytime I can take a subject that's making some hay on the internet and turn it into a post about me I'll do it. Too much Puff not enough Power with these girls is a perfect example of this. Can't critique someone else's art without talking about my own!

2014 was a weird year to be a nerd. The #1 movie of the year stared Groot and Rocket Racoon so it's not like nerds had it rough or anything but there's still this undercurrent of exploitation you have to deal with. She Hulk is a Porn Star and you're a nerd pretty much sums that up. The guy that co-wrote the Batman trilogy just throws shade on a whole slew of nerds without realizing he moved into a glass house. It's like it's cool to be nerdy but only if you're the right kind of nerd.

The Belgians Booty Rock Dvořák's Sypmphony No. 9 was a very popular post for reasons. In fact there was a lot of ass shaking in 2014, like a lot.

I could have included any number of posts on comic book movie casting but this one on From Wonder Woman to Mockingbird was the big winner for the year. It's almost like if you post pictures of attractive ladies you get more hits. I know, I know that sounds crazy but you can't argue with science.

And now just for fun, here are the top 20 search keywords:

nicole scherzinger boobs
kate upton nude
diora baird nude
larissa swanson ct
cosplay slip
diora baird
nicole scherzinger tits
soccer mom
abbey clancy ass
cosplay nip slip
lust of the dead
nicole scherzinger porn
cosplay nipple slip
jimmy fallon hair loss
kaley cuoco body paint
lfl
sofia vergara bikini
carrot top net worth
deadpool cosplay

Nicole scherzinger boobs? Cosplay nip slip? Abbey Clancy ass? Jimmy Fallon hair loss? You're all a bunch of perverts aren't you?

Here's to a fantastic 2015, with your help maybe we'll find that nicole scherzinger sex tape everyone is looking for.

2013, wrap it up

Christmas is over, I'm fat with candy, the lights on the house should be down in 3-4 more weeks and another year in mediocre blogging is the books. As J. Peterman so famously told Elaine, "congratulations on a job.. done"

2013 was a bit erratic for me as far as keeping up the blog goes. The month after I had my daughter everything pretty much ground to a halt. Turns out raising kids is a HUGE time commitment. Who knew? I've done less cosplay posts this year (those take an incredible amount of time to put together) and I definitely hit my quota of single image/one sentence posts.

As you can imagine I did a lot of posts on the next generation consoles and the current state of console gaming. I also did more reviews this year than I've done in the past. Hopefully I'll get to do more of those in 2014. I used the "gratuitous use of babes" tag a lot less. That's probably why the blog was the least profitable since I've started using adsense. I believe the grand haul this year was right around $14. I figure the rate at which I'm going In about 25 years I'll be able to quit my job and do this full time.

Now without further ado, here are the top posts of the year, which is a meaningless way to look at it since the front page is by far the most popular destination and I don't do any click through stories or slide shows.

In a slightly depressing development the most popular posts in 2013 were all written in 2012 or earlier. This Comic-Con Cosplay; Special achievement in hotness edition still rakes in the hits. I'm not 100% sure why but I have a feeling it has something to do with boobs.

Coming it at #2 after all the 2012 posts is this clip of the fake Ninja Warrior streaker that NBC wanted to go viral. You win this time NBC!

Next and more in my wheelhouse was this series of Cosplay posts from Emerald City Comic Con. What I saw of ECCC 2013 was pretty cool. I'm buying my 3 day passes to next year's convention this weekend. Expect me to complain about money a lot in March. Those spider-man prints aren't free son.

Avril Lavigne fighting a bear-shark? is probably the most DevilDinosaur thing on this recap. I'll miss a lot of things about 2013 but I'll miss you most bear-shark.

THE Ohio State Marching Band Dinosaur

As I mentioned before. A lot of my reports and ramblings on the Xbox One/PS4/Steambox made the top of the list this year. I predict that 2014 will see a lot of games that will blow all the launch titles out of the water and subsequently have me thinking about what sort of deal I can get on any superfluous organs I have. I mean who needs two kidneys these days?

You Are Not Going Out Dressed Like That.

I was surprised at the lack of Star Wars stuff this year. The post about JJ Abrams being announced as the director for Episode VII made some hay but that's about it. In sadly related news 2013 saw the end of LucasArts studio as we knew it. I guess we'll always have Day of the Tentacle...

The one review that I did this year that got a lot of clicks was this one for Heroes of Cosplay. I've been pretty unapologetic about watching and enjoying shows that a lot of nerds think are pandering or offensive to "nerd culture". We're living in a new nerd utopia where you can buy Spider-Man and Avengers t-shirts at every store in the mall. I think we'll be able to survive King of the Nerds season 2 (thur, Jan 23rd).

And to round things out here's my favorite youtube channel the Screen Team with their clip Cosplay Kitchen: Avengers Cookies. There's something about their videos that I really enjoy but I just can't quite wrap my hands around it.

And now just for fun, here are the top 20 search keywords:

lfl (lingerie football league, of course)
devil dinosaur blog
nicole scherzinger boobs
scarlett johansson avengers
diora baird
half life episode 3
nicole scherzinger tits
stoya
soccer mom
carmella decesare
cosplay boobs
hoverhand
sexy star wars
alex morgan butt
kat dennings hot
superhero porn
the choice
cosplay slip
hot soccer moms
80s nerd

Nicole Scherzinger Tits? Hot soccer moms? STOYA? Am I running a nerd blog or a porn blog? Ah well, I guess these days there's not much of a difference.

2014 should be a big year. Look for more obscurities I've found on reddit while feeding my daughter at 3am, another site redesign and more stories about Hot Soccer Moms and Alex Morgan's Butt.

2012, the mediocrity is strong with this blog

It's almost January 1st and that means year end recap time. I feel like 2012 was the year I hit my blogging stride. Page views per day are up from under 100 to over 500 and I've getting way more spam bots posting comments so I must be doing something right.

Without further ado here are the 10 most popular posts of the year (which in the end is completely meaningless given that the front page is still the single most popular destination and I almost never use click-throughs).

For whatever reason (cough Diora Baird picture cough) the recap of 2011 was the most popular post of 2012. That's why I wanted to get this years recap out of the way before we rolled into January.

Speculation on the next generation of video game consoles was big this year. Two posts about the Xbox 361 and Playstation 3.2 were in my top ten. Next year I predict made up news about the Dreamcast 2 will dominate the top ten.

.. The Blurst of Times: The Choice. If you haven't got it yet, The Blurst of Times is a reference to a Simpsons episode where Mr Burns hires a thousand monkeys on a thousand type writers to write the greatest novel ever written. I know, a blogger who uses random Simpsons quotes, I'm clearly one in a million.

Summer Glau and hover hands at comic-con. If there was ever one image that sums up the entirety of my 4 years of blogging I think it might be this one.

NFL replacement refs are not good enough for the LFL. I'm pretty sure DevilDinosaur.com is the premier place for hard hitting Crotch Gout and Lingerie Football news. If it isn't, well there's always next year.

The oral history of Baywatch. If you missed it the first time you have to check it out the second time. Also this is a good time to reflect on that week that Donna D'Errico hosted Talk Soup. That was a pretty good week.

Harley Quinn's butt. Arkham City was easily the best game I played in 2012 so even though the Harley Quinn DLC was pretty poor, I'm glad something related to the game made it into the top 10.

Say goodbye to Power Girls boob window. This year was a weird year in comic book fandom. You saw a real explosion of attractive women embracing their inner geek with sexy cosplay juxtaposed with a movement to clean up what's seen as pervy art in comics. Personally I feel like if you're not cosplaying or drawing comics you should just shut your trap and let the artistically inclined have their fun.

Comic-Con cosplay. Speak of the devil, Cosplay posts are still pretty popular here. This year I was contacted by a couple of cosplayers who I had made fun of on the blog a couple years ago. I felt terrible. From now on I'm only focusing on the positive.

oh hi catwoman's butt. Speaking of the positive....

In addition to the top 10 posts of the year I also like to highlight the top ten search words or phrases that have brought new viewers to the blog. This year is pretty similar to last year. joseph gordon-levitt (1,794), not provided (1,493), scarlett johansson avengers (868), deadpool cosplay (474) nicole scherzinger boobs (474), scarlett johansson the avengers (387), joseph gordon levitt (364), kate upton boobs (296), peter crouch meme (249), nicole scherzinger tits (241),

Also this year I would like to send a special shout out to Bing. The search engine that brings in 1.2 percent of all visits. Good work Microsoft. Next year with your help, we'll get that chicken.

It's in the Links

Nicki Minaj, Mariah Carey throwdown during Idol auditions. A couple years ago I predicted that Cheryl Cole and Nicole Scherzinger's combine hotness on X-Factor would crush American Idol and it's J-Lo/Steven Tyler wank fest. I was WAAAAY wrong. Just like that time I thought David Archuleta was going to beat David Cook in the finals and then David... ummmm, what I mean is American Idol is super lame.

NBA Live '13 finally gets a Mercy Killing. You have no idea how many hours I wasted playing NBA Live 95 on the Super Nintendo. I didn't just finish a season I would finish seasons upon seasons, and every game would be 8 minute quarters because otherwise how was I supposed to get enough rebounds so Shawn Kemp could win the MVP? Sucks to see EA ruin the franchise.

The HotTug. I'm pretty sure if I had a HotTug I would just put it out to sea and never come back. Look at that thing, what more could you want in life?

Top 5 Ways the Bleacher Report Rules the World. Good read that will make you sad for the internet. Seriously Bleacher Report is the worst. They're the best at it, but seriously just the worst.

I hate you blogger..

RIP my super kick ass links posts.  Why?  'cause the new blogger dashboard can eat a dick, that's why.  I've spent roughly the last half hour trying to post 4 stupid links with centered pictures and the new dashboard is screwing me over and reformating everything every time I try and make the smallest change.  ARGH this is why we can't have nice things Google!

Sucker MC's better call me sire

LOL, that dog thinks it's people.

If you've been paying attention, and I don't know why you would, you've probably noticed a significant lack of activity here. Last week during snowpocalypsemaggedeon 2012 my house lost power for about 4 days. Then, the day after we got it restored, I had to report for federal jury duty.

I didn't get sellected for a jury because I'm super racist against white people but I still lost precious blogging hours. It will probably take me a couple of days to get back into the swing of things. I mean all these TPS reports aren't going to file themselves.

2011 the third year in mediocre blogging

That's right 2012 doesn't just mark the end of the world (thanks for nothing Mayans), it also marks the end of my 3rd year of blogging. I'd like to say I've been working on this year end round up the entire week I was off, but I'd rather not turn this into a blog of lies. A blog of flies maybe. In fact if the visits keep dropping a blog of flies sounds like a step up.

So without further ado here are the 10 most popular posts of the year (which in the end is completely meaningless given that the front page is still the single most popular destination).

WTF Eddie Van Halen. When I heard Van Halen was going back on tour with David Lee Roth this summer, I couldn't help but think of this post. Seriously, WTF Eddie?

Joseph Gordon Levitt should play the Joker. The wild JGL/Rise of the Dark Knight casting speculation was very good for me. So good this other post about him playing the Joker also finished in the top 10 this year.

Is Lindsay Lohan playing Supergirl? This post is only popular because of google image searches for Diora Baird. I figured why mess with a good thing on my year end recap?

The Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness. This year saw a lot of really great characters on TV and Ron Swanson was easily the manliest of the manly. His pyramid/manifesto was perfect.

Comic-Con Cosplay; Special achievement in hotness edition. Here's the lesson I learned this year: If you're going to do cosplay round ups put the word hot in them.

Generic Robots Fighting Part 3. Out of all the movie trailers I put up this year, this one for Transformers 3 was in my top 10? That is depressing as hell.

Dog Fort. I jumped on the Dog Fort bandwagon super late and he still finished near the top. Entertainment Weekly should have named Lobster Dog the entertainer of the year.

Amy Pond knows how to party. Karen Gillan, who plays Amy Pond on Doctor Who, was found passed out drunk and naked in a hotel hallway. How is it no one had a camera phone? Where did this happen, 1997?

Even more Cosplay from this year's Emerald City Comic Con. Ok, so it looks like you don't need to add the word Hot to your Cosplay round ups to get a little Google love. All you really need are Fetts.

Thunderwear: the sexy holster. It's a holster that fits in your underwear. It's also the most DevilDinosaur thing on this years top 10.


Oh yeah one more fun thing. Here are the top ten keywords bringing new people to the site this year. eddie van halen, nicole scherzinger hot, diora baird, harley quinn cosplay, joseph gordon-levitt, the rock, crotch gout, glen plake, joseph gordon-levitt joker, ron swanson.

That's right.. Crotch Gout. Good thing I'm still suffering from it, I see 2012 being a big year for Crotch Gout.

BooHooTube

via pandyland