2014, Back to the Future

Based on just the overall number of posts, 2014 was actually the least productive year I've had blogging since I started. I think I did a lot more reviews and long form ramblings than I have in past years. So I guess it's a trade off. Less posts but they take like a minute and a half to read instead of 30 seconds. I guess that's progress? I don't know man, I'm barely awake this morning.

So, without any further pomp and circumstance, let's take a look at the most popular or memorable posts of 2014.

I forgot I even wrote this post on Fantasy GI Joe Draft Rankings. I think I had plans on making this a big series of rankings and never got around to it.

2014 showed us the some of the worst the internet has to offer in The Fappening and Gamergate. The ring of hackers trading on celebrity nudes had been rumored for years but it's one thing to hear about something it's another to actually see it. Anyone that has any sort of internet connected device should be terrified of the Fappening. Anyone can steal anything, it's horrifying.

As always, Cosplay posts get lots of hits. ZOMG Cosplay is Killing Conventions! and Emerald City Comicon 2014 Cosplay Showcase both got a lot of hits. Maybe in 2015 I'll double down on Cosplay. I can practically taste that $100 pay out from adsense.

Back in my 2013 wrap up I predicted that the new generation of consoles would roll out a bunch of titles that really blew away the launch ones and have me jonesing for a PS4 or Xbone. Man was I wrong. Sure, there are some nice looking new games out there but most stories revolved around nerfed graphic settings or buggy launches. Except for the WiiU. Have you played a WiiU? The new Mario Kart is the heezy for sheezy.

My High School Reunion: The Review. Sweet Christmas, when did I get so old?

Squirt Guns: The Review. I guess whenever I started reviewing squirt guns?

Anytime I can take a subject that's making some hay on the internet and turn it into a post about me I'll do it. Too much Puff not enough Power with these girls is a perfect example of this. Can't critique someone else's art without talking about my own!

2014 was a weird year to be a nerd. The #1 movie of the year stared Groot and Rocket Racoon so it's not like nerds had it rough or anything but there's still this undercurrent of exploitation you have to deal with. She Hulk is a Porn Star and you're a nerd pretty much sums that up. The guy that co-wrote the Batman trilogy just throws shade on a whole slew of nerds without realizing he moved into a glass house. It's like it's cool to be nerdy but only if you're the right kind of nerd.

The Belgians Booty Rock Dvořák's Sypmphony No. 9 was a very popular post for reasons. In fact there was a lot of ass shaking in 2014, like a lot.

I could have included any number of posts on comic book movie casting but this one on From Wonder Woman to Mockingbird was the big winner for the year. It's almost like if you post pictures of attractive ladies you get more hits. I know, I know that sounds crazy but you can't argue with science.

And now just for fun, here are the top 20 search keywords:

nicole scherzinger boobs
kate upton nude
diora baird nude
larissa swanson ct
cosplay slip
diora baird
nicole scherzinger tits
soccer mom
abbey clancy ass
cosplay nip slip
lust of the dead
nicole scherzinger porn
cosplay nipple slip
jimmy fallon hair loss
kaley cuoco body paint
lfl
sofia vergara bikini
carrot top net worth
deadpool cosplay

Nicole scherzinger boobs? Cosplay nip slip? Abbey Clancy ass? Jimmy Fallon hair loss? You're all a bunch of perverts aren't you?

Here's to a fantastic 2015, with your help maybe we'll find that nicole scherzinger sex tape everyone is looking for.

I do declare 2014 the year of the giant ass

Hey kids, remember Jennifer Lopez? Here's her new video Booty ft Iggy Azelea. More specifically Iggy Azelea's giant fake ass and by featuring I mean rubbing up and down on J-Lo's big ol booty. This right here is what you would call capturing the Zeitgeist. Traditional pop music is barren of ideas and the big labels are so desperate that you pay attention to them that they're reduced to producing music videos that look like the first 5 minutes of a porno. Sure it's a really nice porno with good production values but still...

Music is in a weird spot right now. You have Apple paying U2 $100 million to give away an album to all iTunes subscribers just to promote their new phone. Last year Macklemore dominated the charts as an "indie artist" but to do so he had to pay Sony execs a boat load of cash to get his songs on the radio. Nobody is buying CDs, even on iTunes. Younger listeners are moving to subscriber based listening like Pandora and Spotify. Terrestrial radio has been reduced to this weird dj-less automatic jukebox format where most stations only play the same 10 big label approved pop songs on loop.

I guess through all of that one thing remains a constant. Sex sells. Doesn't matter if it's Madonna in a pointy bra, Katy Perry dressed up as a sexy smurf or Iggy Azelea putting on a tijuana donkey show.

This generation desperately needs a Nirvana (and that's coming from someone that HATES Nirvana).

The Seattle Symphony Likes Big Butts

Here's Sir-Mix-A-Lot performing Baby got back with the Seattle Symphony all while a bunch of middle aged white ladies who look like the kind of people that enjoy a night at the symphony shake their asses. Enjoy?

The Belgians Booty Rock Dvořák's Sypmphony No. 9

Technically this is Korean dance group Waveya booty rocking to Dvořák's Sypmphony No. 9 in E-Minor but it was for a Belgian classical music festival. It's pretty ingenious if you ask me. I think a whole slew of traditionally boring things could be improved by Korean dance groups gyrating around: Math, History, Science, Politics. Really the possibilities are endless.

Ghost Butts

via brinnyart

Harley Quinn's butt stars in Harley Quinn's Revenge

Here's a trailer for Harley Quinn's Revenge, a DLC pack for Batman: Arkham City in virtual stores May 29. The trailer doesn't really show us any plot or gameplay. Still it's pretty fantastic. I mean if you're into that sort of thing... pervert.