RIP New Sonics Arena, XXXX-2016

In case you didn't hear, yesterday the Seattle City Council voted No on a proposed street vacation (clearing a road of traffic) that is needed to build a new basketball stadium south of downtown Seattle. It's not quite the death knell for the proposed arena but it does undo most of the work hopeful new owner Chris Hansen has put into moving a NBA team back to Seattle.

Overall the issue is pretty complicated and I don't want to write a dozen paragraphs about it, I just can't believe the Sonics have been gone for 8 years now and we're not even close to getting a team back. I remember when they left EVERY pundit they talked to on the radio was positive the Sonics would be back in a few years. Seattle was too big of a market, basketball was too popular here. This wasn't a Kansas City Kings scenario or anything, there's a team right around the corner!

Lies, all lies. I don't think anyone was being malicious just optimistic. The truth of the matter is moving a sports franchise is a big deal, it feels like it happens all the time but it really doesn't and when it does it because a city is DESPERATE for a team. When the Sonics moved to OKC they already had a stadium built, just sitting there waiting for someone. Seattle just isn't going to do that, politics around here are weird. Even if they weren't weird, how do you justify spending like $500 million of public funds to build a stadium for a team that doesn't exist? We need to save that money for when the new tunnel running under the waterfront eventually collapses.

I guess I'll just have to keep ignoring the NBA. I hear Dell Curry is having a really great year.

'He's On Fire': The True Story Behind 'NBA Jam'

Honestly I thought this video was going to be much longer. I assumed the "True Story" behind the making of NBA Jam would involve more than mailing a couple video tapes to the NBA. Still, I was super rad at this game and had the record for longest winning streak at the arcade near me, 15-0!

The Ultimate Jason Williams Highlight Reel

Hey kids, remember Jason "White Chocolate" Williams? Here's 3 minutes of him breaking ankles and making defenders look silly. It's just the thing to cheer you up if you're sitting in your office wondering why the new ownership group took all the managers out to lunch but you didn't get invited.

The Ultimate Trickshot Dunk

Man.. somehow I screwed up my DVR yesterday and didn't tape the first episode of Fear the Walking Dead. What's worse is that AMC isn't going to replay it until next Sunday. That is WAY to long to wait but what else can I do? Watch it on the computer like a sucker?

Anyway, here's the fanciest trickshot dunk video you will ever see. Big ups to the lone cameraman that was somehow able to get it all on tape.

The Greatest Office Dunks of All Time

office layoffs. just me and that 6' hoop for my final days.

- Jake H

He's the Carrot Top of Weathermen

This Guy! Am I right???

Mark Johnson, local weatherman of WEWS Cleveland had some things to say about last nights Cavaliers/Warriors game and as the saying goes one prop is worth at least 2.5 words. I love how once the weed wacker thing totally flops he doubles down with the "brick". Seriously, that's not a brick it's a cider block. Do you even know how to Carrot Top?

Practice? Links

Allen Iverson Has Destroyed The Legacy Of Allen Iverson. Sooooo Allen Iverson is kind of a loser. That's sad I guess. I mean I never met him or anything so it's not like I really care if he was a good guy or not. I will say he's one of the most freakish athletes I've ever seen in person. He must have weighed 100 pounds and there he was driving the lane, scoring and rebounding over huge guys. He was a lot of fun to watch.

Copy of original Star Wars script discovered in UNB library. Guess what? Han Shot first. That is all.

The 10 Most Unwatchable Films Featured on MST3K. This list is a good reminder that I haven't watched enough MST3K. When it was at it's most popular I didn't have cable and by the time I finally did it was already winding down on comedy central. Are these on Netflix yet? I feel like they should be on Netflix.

WWE Money in the Bank: A Step-ladder? We delve in to find the truth about the real ladder. In honor of the Money in the Bank PPV this weekend (only $9.99 on the WWE Network) one blogger has finally answered the question all pro wrestling fans have had at one time or another. Where do they get those ladders?

Dark Links

The Significance and Possibilities of The DC Superhero Girls Line. Here's some big news that shouldn't be. DC and it's parent company Time Warner, have finally come to the conclusion that girls also like comic book superheroes. Woohoo?

As the parent of a boy and a girl I loathe the idea that some toys are inherently for girls or for boys. If Logan wants to play with My Little Pony go for it, if Ash wants to play GI Joe, great. I'll be Bazooka. In a perfect world you wouldn't need Lego specifically marketed for girls because Lego is pretty gender neutral to begin with. The thing is we don't live in a perfect world, if you try and make products gender neutral they don't find their way to retail shelves because Target needs and aisle for boys and and aisle for girls. I don't know who to blame there, title 9?

The long and the short of it is that when it comes to superhero swag the genders have not been represented equally. A line of toys and merch exclusively marketed for girls isn't the perfect solution but it's a start.

Chris "Birdman" Andersen Has a $300 ATM Withdrawal Limit, Drives a '67 Chevy C-10. Chris Anderson sort of checks every box for me as far as professional athlete goes. Crazy athletic, check. Mohawk, check. Overcame a drug problem, check. Complete ass to the press, check and check.

The 1968 Playmate of the Year AMC AMX Comes With A Very Twisted Story. I'm not sure if they still do it but Playboy used to give every Playmate of the Year a cool pink car. Some of those cars were kinda out there. This AMC AMX kinda got involved in murder. Good times.

Dark Chocolate Is Not Good for You, and Also Sucks. I'm going to go on record as semi-pro-dark chocolate. I LOVE Hershey's special dark but I also understand that it isn't real Dark Chocolate. Ditto on the dark chocolate M&Ms but those organic 90% cacao bars they sell at starbucks for 5 dollars are HORRIBLE. It's like eating chocolate flavored drywall. Yeah it's better than eating regular drywall but it's still drywall. Also chocolate snobs are the worst. I work with like a dozen of them.

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: The NCAA

Before you fill out your bracket Here's this week with John Oliver to remind you that the NCAA can get bent.

Mega Sized Hump Links

SLAM Magazine scans from the early/mid 2000s. Some fabulous redditor took a bunch of old issues of Slam Magazine and put them online. I love it because this era is right about where my knowledge of the NBA ends. Once the Sonics left town I stopped watching. Whenever I catch a game for more than a couple minutes I'm always like "where's Desmond Mason?" and "Who does Steve Francis play for now?"

8 Reasons to be Overly Excited for the Lego Movie. Last night was bath night for my son and right as we were getting him ready a commercial for the movie aired and he LOST HIS SHIT. Not literally of course. Potty training is done, no accidents in weeks. He wanted us to rewind the commercial like 4 times. Needless to say it was a very short bath.

The movie looks great, and I'm super pumped to take him to it. My only complaint is that the lego sets associated with the movie don't look that great to me. No where near as good as the Lone Ranger sets from last summer look. I guess we'll just have to stick with Lego Star Wars and Ninjago for now. First world problems...

Barbarella TV series finds a home on Amazon. Nicolas Winding Refn the ultra-hipster director behind Drive and Only God Forgives is bringing Barbarella to TV. Kind of.. Does Amazon Prime count as TV? I'm not even sure anymore, man. If he's looking for some casting advice, I heartily recommend Alice Eve or Diora Baird for the part of Barbarella, because reasons.

Meet The Stay-At-Home Mom Who Makes $30K Per Month From Her Bigfoot Porn Novels. Man, sometimes I feel like I really missed my calling in life.

Lauren Tannehill, Ryan Tannehill's Model Wife, Left a Massive Rifle in a Rental Car. I'm not sure I'd call an AR-15 a "massive" rifle. It is a scary looking son of a bitch though. Also not the kind of thing you usually leave in a rental car. Keys? check. Wallet? check. Phone? check. Assault Rifle? damn it!

30 for 30: The Space Jam Game

I haven't actually watched this yet but it's so relevant to my interests that I thought I'd go ahead and post it blindly.

BTW, Space Jam is 18 years old. So it's old enough to vote and smoke. My guess is it will vote for someone stupid like Ted Cruz. Thanks a lot Space Jam.

Links Explain it All

Best, Sluttiest and Weirdest Store-Bought Halloween Costumes for 2013. I love these 1966 Batman TV Show inspired costumes. I might buy one just for fun. Casual Fridays at work and all..

Clarissa Explains All The Drugs She Did. Back in the day when I was young and single, having a subscription to Maxim sounded like a good idea. I vividly remember the Melissa Joan Hart issue. Kinda sad to hear she was all hopped up on drugs when she did it. Still not as sad as the Melissa and Joey TV show. That was clearly rock bottom.

NBA Jam Was Rigged Against The Chicago Bulls. I LOVE this, screw the Michael Joranless Chicago Bulls. There was nothing worse then getting beaten by Scottie Pippin and f'ing Horace Grant. Not that I was ever getting beaten or anything. At the machine by my house I had the record for the longest winning streak and best winning percentage. 16-0 Baby!

6 Sexist Video Game Problems Even Bigger Than the Breasts. The second to last one on this list is the one that really grinds my gears. There's no reason there shouldn't be more playable female characters in video games. I have a daughter now this sexist nonsense is important to me now!

Also I've heard the last Tomb Raider game is really good.

The Greatest Dunk of All time?

As far as I'm concerned there's like 3 dunks that are the greatest ever. John Starks going up over what seemed like every single Chicago Bull in the Eastern Conference final, Shawn Kemp's dunk over Alton Lister in 1992 where he points at him after it and Kevin Johnson dunking over Hakeem in the 1994 playoffs.

Well move over Kevin Johnson because these bros at the pool totally have you beat. Some might say that this dunk over at Deadspin is better, but it's on vine and I have no idea how to embed vine clips. So in your face other guys dunking at the pool, you just got played out.

SPIDER-MAN THE PROFESSOR!

Here's blacktop basketball supa'star The Professor schooling guys while dressed up as Spider-Man. It's pretty much the opposite of what I did on my birthday when I decided that I hadn't thrown up enough air-balls at the park lately. Although I did wear a Captain America t-shirt...

Trick Punts Everyone!

I think I've featured the Dude Perfect guys before doing INSANE frisbee catches or something. Here they are with some punter tricks. Just in time for the NFL off season!

Dunk City II

Ok so you weren't impressed with FCGU's white boys on dunk parade? I guess it's time to turn this up to 11 (on a scale of 100) with this High School girls dunk contest.

Yeesh... I'm all for kids having fun on a lowered rim. I spent an entire week of my senior year dunking on 6 graders on an 8 foot hoop (it was for a school project I swear) but I didn't do it at a pep rally full of classmates and family. And thank goodness I didn't, one of those 6th graders blocked one of my shots... To be fair she was really good, though.

Dunk City

In case you missed it because you were working all weekend, here are some highlights of FGCU's win over Georgtown and San Diego State. How did a #15 seed in the men's NCAA tournament make it all the way to the sweet 16? They employed the effective strategy of dunking. All the time.

Seriously I haven't seen this many white guys dunking since the last time I played on the 8 foot rims at the Nordic Heritage Museum in Ballard. BOOOMSHAKALAKA!


edit! I posted the wrong video... This one has WAY more dunking.

Toddler Trick Shots

This kids got some game, but can he drive with his left? Yeah I didn't think so, stay in school kid!

Shawn Kemp Career Mix HD

I'm just going to leave this here today.

It's in the Links

Nicki Minaj, Mariah Carey throwdown during Idol auditions. A couple years ago I predicted that Cheryl Cole and Nicole Scherzinger's combine hotness on X-Factor would crush American Idol and it's J-Lo/Steven Tyler wank fest. I was WAAAAY wrong. Just like that time I thought David Archuleta was going to beat David Cook in the finals and then David... ummmm, what I mean is American Idol is super lame.

NBA Live '13 finally gets a Mercy Killing. You have no idea how many hours I wasted playing NBA Live 95 on the Super Nintendo. I didn't just finish a season I would finish seasons upon seasons, and every game would be 8 minute quarters because otherwise how was I supposed to get enough rebounds so Shawn Kemp could win the MVP? Sucks to see EA ruin the franchise.

The HotTug. I'm pretty sure if I had a HotTug I would just put it out to sea and never come back. Look at that thing, what more could you want in life?

Top 5 Ways the Bleacher Report Rules the World. Good read that will make you sad for the internet. Seriously Bleacher Report is the worst. They're the best at it, but seriously just the worst.