Are you ready for some Links?

Chicks Tebow Hasn't Banged. Just in time for Football season! True story, last year I won my fantasy football league with Tebow starting the entire second half of the season. I'm not saying it was divine intervention but "science" sure didn't help me win any games.

Why Websites Need to Stop Being so Douchey. This times a thousand billion. I swear if I have to look at one more pointless slide show I'm going to puke. I'm looking your way Bleacher Report...

you too Buddy TV.

12 Hilarious Reviews for a Pen Just for Women.Here's my favorite: "My only disappointment in this pen is that it only comes in Precious Pink, Blacklisted and Blue Stocking. I am looking for a pen that is available in the full 50 shades of grey"

EA President: Next-gen is coming in 'about a year's time'. So Christmas of 2013? EA says they're already in development for a couple next-gen games. Dollars to doughnuts it's Madden and a new Battlefield game. I'm eager to see the price point on the next consoles. If it really is $500+ I'd look into going back to PC gaming. With the lifespan of consoles increasing being an early adopter just doesn't seem to payoff.

Chixdiggit!: Chupacabra

It's Face melitngly good music Friday (patent pending) again. Here's the hardest working band in Calgary Chixdiggit! with their opus to the Chupacabra titled Chupacabra. Enjoy.

Oregon Duck Gangnam Style?

So this Oregon parody of the PSY video Gangnam Style will get taken down for copyright violations. Let's see how long it stays up.

Follow that Beer!

Before this morning I had never even heard of Carlton Draught, now they're my favorite beer ever. Ok maybe not my favorite beer ever. I really like that Bud Lite with lime.. man that stuff is delish.

Have you tried Lancing it?

Tomorrow I'm bringing my lance to work.

Via forlackofabettercomic.com

Old Spice: Muscle Music

Believe it or not, as the week has progressed things at work are starting to turn around. I'm still busier than I need to be because I'm surrounded by idiots, but this morning I didn't feel like calling in sick or quitting. I guess that's improvement?

Oh yeah, here's the most epic of all the epic Old Spice commercials.

ABC Orders S.H.I.E.L.D. TV Pilot

Marvel Comics just discovered that one of the advantages to being owned by Disney is being owned by Disney. ABC (owned by Disney) has ordered a pilot from Marvel Comics' (owned by Disney) TV Division written, produced and most likely directed by Joss Whedon (owned by Disney, jk!). The name of the show isn't known yet, but it's going to be about the Marvel Movie Universe's S.H.I.E.L.D.

The only bad news here is that Jeph Loeb (the head of Marvel's TV division) is involved. While he's written two of my favorite Batman stories ever, his work in TV has been downright awful (Heroes, Ultimate Spider-Man). Still, one Joss has the power to cancel out 1,000 Jephs.

Now comes the fun part, Rampant speculation! Other than "production will begin immediately" pretty much nothing is known about this show. No actors are attached and other than "it's about S.H.I.E.L.D." no one really knows anything about the plot. I'm going to go out on a limb (and a google search) and say it will probably be about Cobie Smulders and Clark Gregg hot naked lesbian kiss.

Bikini Fails is full of win

Oh rope swings, never change. Never change.

Kent West Hill Style

Gangnam Style, Dissected. I swear I spent 2 hours this morning listening to K-pop on youtube while I contemplated quitting my job. Anyhoo, here's PSY's amazeballs video Gangnam Style. After you're done watching it and you've changed your shorts, go read The Atlantic's breakdown so you'll know what it all meant.

Also, Korean Ben at the 1:55 mark.

Why Do Some People Think Neil Armstrong Never Walked On The Moon. Right now, I can watch an entire season of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic on my freaking cell phone. How can anyone doubt we don't have the technology to get to the moon? How do you think they get My Little Pony on my phone in the first place? It comes from the moon, duh.

What would happen if everyone on earth stood as close to each other as they could and jumped. I don't want to ruin the surprise ending, so I'll just say the surprise ending is fantastic.

How To Prepare Your Car To Handle An EMP And Why You Shouldn’t Bother. Hold on a second cowboy, are you trying to tell me that Movies and TV have been lying to me about the power of an EMP? Have I been driving around in a 1978 Chevy Nova wrapped in tinfoil for nothing?!

It's basically a Death Star

Even though this is based on one of the most annoying and condescending tv ads ever (Apple's bread and butter) this Death Star parody is pretty cool. Anything with Boba Fett doing pew pew finger guns is ok in my book.

What if the Eath was Hollow?

... and was filled with chocolate! Ok, not really.

MinutePhysics explains briefly why you can't travel through the earth, and how we'd pretty much all die without the molten iron core. Interesting stuff. It's a lot less depressing than thinking about how we just set a new record for the lowest level of Arctic sea ice observed since we started doing such a thing.

Fresh Kils transforms and rolls out

I thought about waiting until Friday to post this video of Fresh Kils and his amazing transformers routine but I didn't want to wait that long. I wanted to be the first nerd blog to post this (checks youtube publish date), I mean I wanted to be the first nerd blog to post this a year after it hit the web.

Ragnarok Links

Thor 2 Gets Another Villain, Plus More Kat Dennings. Good news everybody, Marvel just signed Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (from Lost) to play a bad guy in Thor 2. Bad news everybody, they've apparently given Kat Dennings's character a bigger role.

12 World’s weirdest stadiums. These are pretty cool, I'd love to play at this stadium in the harbor. The rule should be if you kick it out you have to swim for it.

10 Insanely Badass DOS Game Boxes. The best part of video game boxes from the 80s is the juxtaposition between what the art promised and what the game delivered. The box would be all ninjas on a motorcycle fighting panthers and the game would be text based.

Our favorite "forgotten tech"—from BeOS to Zip Drives. I had never heard of this crazy magnetic storage thing pictured here. It sounds awesome and if I had had a NeXT... HAHAHAHA I couldn't even finish typing that with a straight face.

Kirby Krackle: I Wanna Live in a World Full of Heroes

I've decided that every Friday I'm going to kick the tires and light the fires with a music video from some nerdy band that I like. I figured there was no better way to start things off than with Seattle's own Kirby Krackle. If you haven't already (and let's face it I know you haven't) check out their new Live album on bandcamp.

Avengers 3 Preview

I'd buy a ticket to see Captain America team up with Captain Tightpants.

Alison Brie spits mad flow

Community's Alison Brie has a lot of things going for her. She funny, attractive, busty, however she's not a very good rapper. Of course that doesn't stop her from trying.

BTW, what the heck does double werewolf even mean?

Leslie Knope, Master of Voices

Here's a two and a half minute reminder that Parks & Recreaction is awesome. Tangentially, it also sort of reminds you how awful The Office is now.

I'll be ready...Links

Former Baywatch Star’s Quest For Noah’s Ark Cancelled By Rockslides, Kidnapping Threats. If you read the amazeballs Oral History of Baywatch I linked to a couple months ago you already knew that former Baywatch starlet (and amazing Talk Soup fill in host) Donna D'Errico was looking for Noah's Ark. Here's her story.

Every Positive Headphone Review, ever. This times a thousand. I really need to replace a pair of Sonys I've had for like 7 years and every headphone review on-line is pointless. Why can't Fry's or Best Buy just have a section where you can listen to headphones? It's like they have the Bose display and that's it. Imagine if they did that with laptops. There's one Macbook you can type on and everything else is sealed tightly in a plastic clamshell. My guess is Apple would sell a lot more Macbooks.

Fan-Made “Game of Thrones” Game Inspired by RISK. How this isn't a real licensed product yet, I have no idea. Someone get thinkgeek.com on this.

23 Comic Book Panels Taken Out of Context. A lot of these are of Batman and Robin. I mean a lot.

The Real Game of Thrones House Words

If you're even half a nerd you know that "Winter is Coming" are the words of House Stark, but shouldn't they really be "I've made a horrible mistake"? Here's a bunch of House Banners with what their real words should be. (click to embiggen)

twincest is wincest is my favorite

via Of Science and Swords

This Man still has Iron Fists

Here's the second red band trailer for RZA's (yeah that RZA) The Man with the Iron Fists. I've gotta say, it looks pretty excellent. I mean maybe not first run movie theater good, but definitely the 2 dollar theater down in Federal Way good.

Who you gonna call? 3.5" disk drive!

Good News everybody! I got my car to start this morning. Yesterday when I got back from a weekend at the lovely Washington coast, it flooded the first time I tried to start it. Last night I pulled the plugs, cleaned them off let the combustion chamber dry out overnight and this morning it started up with no problems on the first crank.

I still don't know why the car flooded in the first place, but I still felt very manly with the torque wrench. To celebrate here's a bunch of old disk drives playing the Ghostbuster's Theme. It's almost as sweet of a sound as a 4-cyl 1.8L nissan turning over on the first try.

The Bioshock Song

Uber band geek BrentalFloss has done it again, he's created an awesome 1920s style theme song for Bioshock. It's an instant classic. There's so many good lines like "It's an Ayn Rand wet dream" or "just steal some glue from evil read guy, a screw from smelly dead guy, and you've made some crap from scratch". It's a nice reminder that I still need to play Bioshock 2.

Guardians of the Links

Rumors of the Plot of the Guardians of the Galaxy. Rob over at Topless Robot has a fantasy that Guardians of the Galaxy will focus on Captain Marvel (Carol Danvers). It won't, it'll be Vance Astrovick or Star-Lored, but it's a nice dream to have.

You can finally play as the '92 Dream Team. I still don't know how anyone in their right mind can think that the 2012 olympic team would beat the '92 dream team. I'll even spot you that Kobe and Lebron are better than Jordan (which they aren't), Karl Malone, Patrick Ewing and Charles Barkley would slaughter the 2012 Olympic Team on the inside. Tyson Chandler and Kevin Love would literally be dead. Christian Laettner could still carry everyone's suitcases and fetch gatorade.

From Altair to iPad 35 years of computer market share. Interesting numbers here, once you get past 1992 it's basically IBM clones and nothing else. The Mac peaked with a 10 percent market share in 1992 and is down to what 4 percent, 5 percent? Amazing.

The 60 Best Things Found In MTV's "House Of Style" Archives. A. don't pretend you didn't watch house of style. B. in 20 years this is exactly how over sized sunglasses and skinny jeans are going to look.

New Daredevil Trailer.. kind of

This falls into the "things I wanted to write about but never had the chance" category. A week or two ago new came out that Marvel/Disney and Fox were trying to barter movie rights. Long story short, Fox owns the rights to Daredevil but not for much longer. If they don't get a movie going immediately the rights will revert back to Marvel. Reportedly Marvel told Fox they could extend those rights if they gave up the rights to Galactus and the Silver Surfer (which came with the Fantastic Four package). Fox told marvel to suck an egg and now they've canceled their plans for a Daredevil reboot, so in another few weeks those rights will revert back to Marvel.

The good news here is that Marvel can now add Daredevil to their extended universe of films. I mean, technically he is an Avenger now, why not roll him out for Avengers II: The Search for more Money? The bad news is that Fox keeps Galactus and Silver Surfer, at least for a couple more years, so there's no chance of them showing up in either an Avengers sequel of a Guardians of the Galaxy movie.

Which leads us to this "sizzle reel" for the Daredevil movie Fox had zero faith in. It's a period piece set in the 70s that was supposed to lean heavily on Frank Miller's themes and tones. It looks about as good as you can get while still technically having Ben Affleck as Daredevil.

Ghost Tits, the trailer

Generally speaking when I see something staring Olivia Munn I kind of groan. And not like a sexy groan, but a "oh great here comes another Call Me Maybe parody" kind of groan. However, I'm glad I took 3 minutes to watch this trailer for the fake mystery/thriller Ghost Tits, it's real and it's spectacular.

Star Wars 1313 is still a thing

I know I've been posting a lot of video game trailers lately, it's because they're quick and most of the people I work with are trying to KILL MY SOUL WITH THEIR STUPIDITY, not leaving me a lot of time to blog. Sooooo, here's a second trailer for Star Wars 1313.

I'm not really interested in Star Wars games that don't star characters from the actual Star Wars movies but this game does look really good. These are definitely those next-gen graphics all the kids on the internet have been talking about. I mean I'm sure it's coming out for the PS3 and the 360, but what you see in this clip is clearly running on a PC and not a current console. So in a way here's your first look at graphics on the Xbox720XXX (I may or may not have added an extra X).

Baby Got Back, comprised entirely out of movie clips

Thank you internet, you never let me down.

Call of Duty what?

Here's a new Borderlands trailer, it introduces us to the game's main baddie, Handsome Jack. It's a handsome trailer indeed.

I've heard that the first Borderlands was really heavy on the co-op and not as much fun to play single player. I hope that's not the case. I'm not a big fan of playing co-op games with strangers on-line and almost none of my friends are available to play when I am. Oh well, first world problems right?

Impressed Links

How You’ll Watch the Olympics in 2016. Ugh, I swear if I hear more about this mythical Apple TV I'm going to puke. However, The rest of this article is right on track (pun!). By 2016 NBC will have cleaned up it's on-line streaming, monetized the shit out of it (in a way that works this time) and might even open it up for non-cable subscribers. If NBC learned one this this time around it's that they can put events live on-line and still murdalize every other Network in the ratings.

Dick Ebersol Continues NBC’s Stream of Out of Touch Retorts. Of course that doesn't mean the internet as a whole has to stop hating on NBC right now. It's 2012, the fact that they couldn't get a HD stream on-line that worked is pathetic. You would think their online presence would have been enhanced when Kabletown Comcast bought them.

McKayla Maroney, Aly Raisman, And Kyla Ross Are Not Impressed IRL. Oh McKayla Maroney, I'll miss you most of all.

The surprising, stealth rebirth of the American arcade. Oh man, I want to go to an arcade so bad. Sitting on my couch slogging away at Skyrim side quests just isn't the same as putting your quarter up on Street Fighter II. Maybe Donkey Kong can be an Olympic Event by 2016. Could it really be worse than Dressage?

Ok Black Ops 2, I'm listening

While I was on vacation this week a new Multiplayer trailer for Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 hit the interwebs. I know I'm supposed to be a old timey hipster gamer and be all "pssshhh black ops 2, more like black ops doo-doo", but dare I say this kinda looks fun?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not headed down to Gamestop and pre-ordering it or anything but when November rolls around I'm going to take a good hard look at the reviews. I figure by November I might almost be done with Skyrim.

Wolverines!?

Did you know that a couple years ago they made a remake to Red Dawn staring Thor? Well they did. Apparently it got shelved because MGM was going bankrupt and couple afford to release the movie.. So here we are, it's 2012 and there's a Red Dawn remake about to be released.

It looks ok I guess. The scene where the Chinese North Korean air force is dropping bombs over the US is pretty striking. The whole premise of Red Dawn was pretty out there, even for an action movie from the 1980s. I'm not sure if it's more believable or less believable now. In theory with all the violet video games out there, every teenager is a trained killing machine.

BTW, the movie was originally filmed with the Chinese as the bad guys. The movie studio changed it digitally in post-production to North Korea, 'cause you know. Asian is Asain, right?

Crysis 3 wants to make love to your eyeballs

Here's the new tech-demo slash trailer for Crysis 3. I know I say totes amazeballs a lot around here but this time I mean TOTES AMAZEBALLS. Make sure you watch this in 720p, it's crazy how detailed these graphics are. I'm sure the game will still suck, from what I've heard most of the Crysis games are weak sauce when it comes to gameplay, but man if this is where next generation graphics are headed color me down.

Also give me like 800 bucks, I need to buy a couple video cards.

The Lonely Man's Olympics

In celebration of the 2012 London Games, The Lonely Man has developed his own Olympics. I'm pretty sure I could destroy his tie tying time. I was one of like two kids who knew how to tie his own tie for the 8th Grade banquet.

BTW, I'm on vacation this week so... hopefully you really like this post.

Doctor Who Series 7 Trailer

Here's a preview of the new season of Doctor Who. It looks pretty awesome, although I have to admit I'm WAY WAY behind on watching Doctor Who. When we switched over to Dish network last year we lost BBC America. I was hoping to catch up on Netflix this summer but there's been vacations and the Olympics and the Blorgons invaded. It's been a busy summer.

oh yeah, needs more daleks..

Fistfull of Rupees

Here's a trailer for a webseries (It's still weird to me that those even exist) that re-imagines the Legend of Zelda as a spaghetti western. It's pretty cool, it might even inspire an super nerdy Halloween costume this year.

"What are you supposed to be?"

"Cowboy Zelda, duh."

Better Links

6 Reasons the Olympics Needs More Bears. I would definitely replace Bob Costas with a brown bear. It's funny, a lot of people are complaining about Ryan Seacrest being added to the Olympic broadcast but I think Bob Costas is WAY worse. At least Seacrest knows he's just there for shitty personal interest stories, Bob Costas carries himself like he's the grand gatekeeper for all things Olympics. F that guy.

Why Yes, Those Claw Machines Are Rigged, Says Arcade Operator. Ok, now this is fascinating. I always knew those claw machines were rigged but I had no idea how. Read this before you drop another 50 cents at Randy's.

‘Renegade', Might Be The Greatest Show Ever. No, no it isn't. Acapulco HEAT has it beat hands down.

This week in youtube commenter outrage: The sexy athletes of the summer Olympics. Youtube commenters are both the worst and the best all at the same time. Long story short, some english magazine put together a video of attractive athletes being attractive. Some of the comments it received are epic.

Parkour Dog!

Ok, so maybe this is just a bulldog jumping up on a picnic table. Whatever man, you don't know what's cool.