Thanks for nothing DC comics

DC comics announced today that they're relaunching all their titles. It's not a huge surprise, the solicits for the month of September were all wonky and it's kinda hard to keep secrets in an industry that employs as many geeks as comics do. take it away USA Today:

In September, more than 50 more first issues will debut, introducing readers to stories that are grounded in each character's specific legend but also reflect today's real-world themes and events. Lee spearheaded the redesign of more than 50 costumes to make characters more identifiable and accessible to comic fans new and old.

"We looked at what was going on in the marketplace and felt we really want to inject new life in our characters and line," says Dan DiDio, who co-publishes DC with Lee. "This was a chance to start, not at the beginning, but at a point where our characters are younger and the stories are being told for today's audience."

I really want to be the kind of nerd that has a huge visceral reaction to this but I don't. I only pick up 2 DC books on a monthly basis (Batgirl and Birds of Prey) and odds are this isn't going to change either book that dramatically. Here's the kind of nerd I am. I'm totally pissed at this turn of events because it might lead to a huge, potentially needless, reorganization of my comics. Here's about how many comics I'm dealing with.


My entire collection is roughly 26 short boxes and I'd say about a quarter of those are DC. Now currently I could care less if DC decided to renumber everything, remember it's just 2 books. But What happens in 5 years when it's 10 books? Or worse in 3 years when Birds of Prey should be at Issue #200 instead of Issue #18 Vol. 3 and DC decides to go back to the old numbering system? Marvel just did this with Iron Man #600 and then they made it worse by publishing a 600.1. ".1" what the hell is that? Are you telling me I have to reorganize all my comics every 2 years just because some dick bag thinks first issues are still good for sales? Thanks for nothing DC comics.

BTW, Superman's new costume looks stupid. 24 months and he'll be back in the classics.

Isaiah Mustafa is Luke Cage

If the Old Spice guy wants to be Luke Cage this badly I say let him. Honestly how much worse could this be than Ghost Rider?

Thank you Activision

I've lamented the release dates of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare3 and Battlefield 3 here before. Both games look awesome, but I don't have 120 bucks to spend on two very similar games. Especially right before Christmas, cause my baby needs toys.

Luckily for me Activision just made my choice that much easier by confirming the long standing rumors that they're going to start charging a monthly fee to play Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. Now, I'll freely admit I'm playing fast and loose with semantics here. Activion claims that the monthly fee will be for the "Call of Duty: Elite" experience and that the game will be playable online without paying for the Elite service (more details on what the elite experience is here). But let's call a duck a duck. This Christmas if you want to get the fullest COD experience you're going to have to pay extra for it.

You know what, good for Activision. I'm sure they'll make an extra billion dollars on this and thousands of 13 year olds are going to be thrilled at being able to track their accuracy improvement on the AK-74u. Me, I get to save 60 bucks and will enjoy Battlefield 3 all the more.

Calgon take me to Links

10 Great Gimmick TV Episodes. Great list, I had forgotten about a lot of these episodes. The X-Files one was really brilliant in particular. The only thing they missed was the titanic/in space episodes of Newsradio.

Frank Cho Returns to Liberty Meadows. Even if you don't care about Liberty Meadows (or know what it is) this is a great read about how Network Execs can ruin any intellectual property.

Chinese Prisoners forced to mine WOW gold. Add this to the reasons I don't play WOW. Any game that can be so tedious they force prisoners to play it isn't worth $14.99 a month.

Matthew Vaughn allegedly knocked up January Jones. I hear in the sequel they're getting Rosanne Barr to play the voice the baby.

the new Megan Fox sucks

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, best known for being not Megan Fox in the new movie Transformers: Dark of the Moon, is on the cover of this month's Complex Magazine. I read most of the article about her and I have a couple thoughts. First, she's not attractive. I used to think she was just weird looking but now I'm convinced she's just fugly. I'm guessing a large portion of the CGI budget is going to go into making her face look less goofy.

Second thought is that someone in PR forgot to tell her that "hot" chicks are supposed to pander to nerds right before their big movie opens.

Did you watch Transformers cartoons to prepare for your role?
No. I’ve seen the Transformers movies before, but I haven’t seen the cartoons or played with the toys. I grew up on a farm in the southwest of England. I think I had about two toys my whole childhood. I was in the woods, riding my bike and my horse.

Do you think Transformers role-play when they have sex?
Do I think they role-play when they have sex? [Laughs.] What, like Bumblebee and Optimus Prime? No! ’Cause there’s no lady Transformers!

Yes there are.
I don’t know. It’s not in the movies. They’re all males. No, I don’t reckon they do. I don’t think they have sex.

Are they sure they weren't interviewing Michael Bay?

Back to my original point, I just can't get over how weird looking she is. She doesn't even have big boobs. I swear I'm not seeing Dark of the Moon just because of her... Just kidding, I won't be seeing it cause it looks like ass.

Sonic's back, in flip book form

Back in middle school my friend Jimmy used to make the coolest flip books, but none of his flip books were as sweet as this one of Sonic the Hedgehog.

Jimmy had one of those really nice basketball hoops you can lower so you could pretend to be Dee Brown. One afternoon I was doing my best Shaq impersonation and just bent the crap out of the rim. I've always felt bad about that. Good times...

Shark Night 3D trailer

This weekend I caught a good hour of Jaws on TV. Now I'm not saying that I think Shark Night 3D will be as good as Jaws but Shark Night 3D will totally be just as good as Jaws.

Who wears short shorts?

Outside of comics, DC and Warner Brothers can't do anything right when it comes to Wonder Woman. I used to think it's 'cause they're incompetent boobs but now I'm pretty sure it's because the character can't translate to live action. Any change to her costume and the internet explodes with "zomg, those pants look stupid" or "no red boots? fail!" However, if you dress an actress up in something close to her traditional look and you're left with the picture above.

Grant Morrison (not pictured above)himself could have written the Wonder Woman pilot and it still would have failed. Can you imagine trying to pass that get up above as a real life crime fighting costume? How's she going to fight crime, with an endless arsenal of nips slips and wedgies?

...actually that doesn't sound too bad. Note to self, start working on new script for Wonder Woman.

Snap into these links

Dead Wrestler of the Week: Macho Man Randy Savage. Deadspin's the Masked Man has the best obit for the Macho Man I've seen so far.

The Dugout: I'll Miss You, Macho Man. In a less serious tribute, The new editor at WithLeather.com, Brandon Stroud, recaps the conversation between Macho Ghost and Ozzie Guillen.

George Steele on why Savage and McMahon had heat. Hopefully this squashes the rumors that he got busy with an underage Stephanie McMahon. BTW, who had George the Animal Steele outliving Macho Man and Miss Elizabeth?

Everyone at Wrestlemania VII is dead. Ok so not everyone is dead, but over a quarter of the performers who wrestled at Mania VII are. I'm starting to think there's a problem here.

MW3 looks face meltingly good

The first trailer for Call of Cuty: Modern Warefare 3 hit the interwebs this morning. I'm not gonna lie to you, it looks really impressive. At a certain point the Call of Duty franchise is going to hit a wall, I just don't think it's happening yet.

On a semi related note, I'm thinking of putting in for vacation November 8th.

Randy and Gene, best friends forever

Randy Savage cut a lot of good promos in his 20+ year wrestling career but none were as good as the ones he did with Mene Gene Okerlund. Their chemistry was really amazing. Mene Gene should have won an emmy for being able to stay straight faced while Macho Man kept pulling creamer packets from seemingly nowhere.

I know this is 11 minutes long, but it's worth every second.

The Muppet Trailer that wasn't

I can not wait to see this movie. Ok, actually I can. In fact I'll probably have too. It's kind of amazing how having a screaming little person running around the house knocking stuff over can put a crimp in your carefree lifestyle. It's been 3 weeks and I still haven't seen Thor. I'm pretty sure if I don't see it this weekend, Walt Simonson is going to break into my house and take his amazing run on Thor back.

Chewbacca uses his illusion

Thank goodness the rapture didn't come this weekend, otherwise we might have missed Chewbacca dancing around like an idiot at Disney's Star Wars weekend.

io9.com has the whole thing if you want to watch Queen Amidala fight Darth Vader (Which couldn't have happened, have they even seen the movies?!).

Dead Island Walk Through

You wanted Dead Island game play, for better of worse, here's some Dead Island game play.

2 minutes in when a guy throws a baseball bat at a propane tank and it explodes, I took this game off my want list. I guess for people with less discerning tastes in zombie fare this game could still be a must buy. For me it's just such a huge let down from the original teaser trailer. Oh well, that just means more time for Battlefield 3.

Randy "Macho Man" Savage, 1952-2011

The list of wrestlers who've died young is starting to get ridiculous. It's bad enough we've lost Mr Perfect and Rick Rude but now Randy Savage? Somewhere in heaven God's putting together the greatest heel stable ever.

Go Team Links!

The NFL's bravest faces. Even though the players are locked out, NFL teams are having Cheerleader tryouts. If there's no season who are they supposed to hook up with? The owners?

Well played owners...

50 reasons why the world is ending on Saturday. Normally I don't go for this end of the world nonsense, but look at that Amish guy. He's wearing roller blades! Surely our time on this planet has come.

5 Superhero movies you won't believe almost got made. Yes the Jack Black Green Lantern sounds awful, but why oh why can't I have my Nic Cage Superman movie? He was going to fight a giant mechanical spider!

Gotham City Imposters Preview. A Batman first person shooter? The Destructiod guys break down this seemingly nonsensical announcement.

Walmart by Mr. Ghetto FTW

This is quite possibly the worst/best most mesmerizing video I've ever seen. Feel free to share this with your friends, kinda like syphilis...

This isn't the Darth Vader you're looking for

Unless you're looking for a salsa dancing, trombone playing, highly entertaining Sith Lord. Seriously, this guy puts on one hell of a show. Too bad the room is dead. If this guy played my retirement center/bingo hall you better believe he's getting at least one pair of underwear thrown his way.

George Lucas is amazing with names

"my next project is about the tuskegee airmen"
Topless Robot had a nice post about the new Star Tours ride at Disneyland. For whatever reason it really riled my nerd feathers. The ride itself sounds pretty cool (except for the Jar Jar cameo), what really got me worked up with this quote from an Imagineer about how they needed George Lucas's help in naming a character.

Apparently one of the new characters is a "spokesbot" voiced by veteran actress Allison Janney. Imagineer Tom Fitzgerald explains her name: "we couldn't think of anything and knew George [Lucas] was amazing with names. When we told him actress Allison Janney was doing the voiceover work, he instantly said, 'Aly San San.'"

I imagine Lucas was lighting a cigar with a 1,000 dollar bill while he said "Aly San San". Then he rode off on a golden chariot pulled by centaurs. Man he is amazing with names.

Please Stand By

Blogger is being weird. Last week it shut down for a couple hours and I lost a few posts. Now they're back, but in the wrong order and without a bunch of comments (that were hilarious). Don't panic just continue your web-browsing as usual. Nothing to see here... except for Kevin Bacon's fabulous fur lined coat.

New Dead Island Trailer

This is the new trailer for Dead Island, or as I refer to it "that one game that made me cry". It kinda shows off some of the gameplay, I think. There's no HUD or life meter anywhere so it's hard to tell.

I'm a little underwhelmed by the teaser. I know there was no place to go but down after the amazing teaser trailer, but right now this looks an awful lot like a first generation xbox 360 game. Hopefully the gameplay will be innovative, if it turns out to be nothing more than Dead Rising on a beach I think most gamers will ignore it (kinda like Dead Rising 2).

The Greatest Movie Sandwiches

I had a really really crappy day yesterday and I wasn't exactly looking forward to getting out of bed this morning. Then I saw this youtube clip of the greatest sandwiches in movie history* and I was ready to tackle the day.

Not to sound too much like Joey from friends, but hands down my favorite food is sandwiches. There's so many different kinds, you can get them hot and cold with all kinds of different meats and toppings, not to mention all the delicious condiments... now if you'll excuse me I'd like to be alone with this ham and swiss on rye.**



* yes, one could infer from this statement that I watch youtube clips before I even get out of bed.

** and from this statement you could easily infer I'm about to make love to a sandwich. Quite frankly I'm worried about you.

New Alcatraz Trailer

If you're a TV junkie like me this has been a pretty fun week. All the major networks are announcing schedules, so we're finally finding out what pilots are getting picked up (booo no locke and key!) and which ones are (woohoo Grimm).

In some of the least/most interesting news, JJ Abrams new show Alcatraz is slated for a midseason debut on Fox. I know it's a bit stereotypical for a nerd to gush over the new JJ Abrams project before anyone has even seen it, but even without the 'Brams name attached, this looks cool.

More links.. deal with it.

Will Smith loves huge trailers. People in New York are bitching about the size of Will Smith's set trailer. Sounds like they're all haters. Is he supposed to chill between shots in a Winnebago? Where would he put the in-trailer movie theater, gourmet kitchen or olympic size swimming pool?

Poor Life Lessons from Battlefield: Bad Company 2. Honestly the only life lesson I've learned from Battlefield is that Battlefield is awesome and real life is kinda sucky by comparison. I guess that counts as a poor life lesson.

Super Mario Birthday Party. I feel bad for my son knowing his parents aren't motivated enough to throw him this cool of a birthday party. He's going to play donkey basketball and like it.

Obi Wan Kenobi is Dead, Vader Says. If Obi Wan is really dead then why won't Vader release the pictures of the body? Nice try Obama.. errr Darth.

X-Men First Class Theater presents: It's go time

This has been X-Men First Class Theater presents: It's go time.

The Links Menace

The 5 Stages of Star Wars grief. Wow, way to be topical Slate. What's next, an article on the rick-roll? I hear this Leroy Jenkins guy has the internet buzzing.

FCC Commissioner is crooked. One of 4 FCC Commissioners to vote in favor of the KabletownComcast/NBC merger just announced she would be leaving to work for Comcast. USA USA USA!

The Bizarre Cult of Pro-Owner Fanboys. Ever since Seattle lost the Sonics I've felt that all team owners, no matter the sport, can choke. This editorial hasn't changed my stance.

Racists debate the merits of Thor. It's good to know that Thor is prompting such heady debate as "Branagh is a metrosexual pussyboy" or "Jack Kirby was Jewish, as is Natalie Portman". I'm sure Stan Lee is very proud.

The battle of games my wife will mistakenly call Halo

This morning someone leaked a bunch of details on the next Call of Duty game. The biggest detail is that it will be a direct sequel to Modern Warfare 2, and it's going to ship November 8th. Neither of these are really earth shattering, but it does confirm the latest rumors.

Other rumors about the game that haven't really been confirmed yet is that it will feature larger battle maps and more destructive environments, kinda like Battlefield 2. Speaking of Battlefield..

EA has announced that Battlefield 3 (also coming out this fall) already has an expansion pack only available to pre-orderers . Cue the sad fog horn from The Simpsons.

Now I'm really excited about Battlefield 3 and I get DLC. I'm not a rabid fanboy that expects every publisher to be Valve and just shower us with free maps and updates. I don't even mind when publishers have special content available with pre-orders, but I'm not a big fan of this decision. What EA is doing specifically here is offering the most popular maps from Battlefield 2 as a bonus to people that pre-order the game. If you don't pre-order you can still get the maps. Eventually. And you'll have to pay extra cash.

By the time Battlefield 8 comes out I bet all you get with the game is the source code and if you want to load any textures you'll have to pay extra.

Good work out there, you're fired.

In the most earth shattering news you'll hear this morning, NBC has passed on David E Kelly's Wonder Woman pilot. The rumored reasons for this shocking decision? Wonder Woman's lack of Patriotism.

there was all the online blow back about the costume – which seemed to de-emphasize the patriotism and play up the comic’s Greek mythology

And we have a winner for stupidest thing you'll read today. Wonder Woman's costume wasn't patriotic enough because they put her in blue pants with gold stars instead of blue bloomers with white stars.... and that's why NBC isn't picking up the show. USA USA USA!

The Legend of Zelda and it's really Rad

While surfing the interwebs yesterday I ran across this old commercial for The Legend of Zelda. It's too good not to share.

I love how the two friends in this are the most sterotypical nerd/cool kid combo the casting directors could find. My guess is the only reason the cool kid is hanging out with Nerdly here is because he has a Nintendo. I'll bet you cash this whole friendship ends up in some sort of Chuck and Buck scenario (look it up).


and for the record who's parents ever helped them hook up a NES?

Irish Whip these Links

X-Men Character Trailers. These came out last week, right after I made a bunch of jokes about how they're releasing a new trailer every other day. I was going to let it slide but then Emma Frost got knocked up by one of the X-men and I thought should throw something together.

Kevin Nash comments on Scott Hall's condition. This is one of the saddest things ever. It's kind of amazing the guy hasn't killed himself yet.

Destructoid's review of Brink. Brink has been getting some really bad word of mouth but I thought Destructoid's review was pretty even-handed. Still, I'm kinda glad it's not getting 10s everywhere. I'm broke and in a couple months I'm going to have to justify to my wife that I need both the new Call of Duty and Battlefield 3 (more on that later).

Google Music Beta announced. Ok, I know I'm old and cranky but I just don't see what the big deal is here. The tech behind cloud media storage like Google music is cool, I just don't see where and when I would ever use it. On vacation? At a friends house? Do we really want to encourage music geeks (the worst kind of geek btw) to have complete access to every Conor Oberst or DJ Frane song ever recorded anywhere they go?

Real Steel is Robot Jox with heart

Here's the new trailer for Hugh Jackman's oscar bait, Real Steel. You know the movie where he's a down on his luck ex-boxer who teaches robots how to box.

I still can't believe this is a real movie, and not some SyFy channel shlockfest. Is this going to be so bad it's good like The Wicker Man or just so bad that it's bad like The Wicker Man?*

* I'm still not sure how I feel about The Wicker Man

The only Star Wars Prequel my son will ever see

Seriously, which would you rather watch? This cute little 2 minute clip recapping the Star Wars prequels with legos or 8 hours of CGI nonsense (soon to be in 3d!).

Did you know you can pre-order the prequels box set on blue ray? That's right, just the prequels. What sick freak is looking for specifically the worst of the star wars franchise. It's can't be completists, they would insist on the 12 disc super pack. It would have to be someone that just loves the prequels but is completely indifferent to the original trilogy. I'm guessing Lucas ends up buying every set.

Best newspaper correction ever?

Ok there are 2 things about this story that immediately stand out to me. First thing is that naming your bat Orcrist the Goblin Cleaver is AWESOME. Second thing is that any pitcher that names his bat is LAME.

Double tap Osama in this new Counter Strike mod

Some modder out there is due a few internet points for the Counter Strike Mod of Osama Bin Laden's compound. I've already seen some people call this crass but I think it's brilliant. Historical accuracy was a big selling point for the levels in the Assasin's Creed games, I don't really see how this is much different.

btw, who still plays counter strike? What were the Quake III servers down?

Hey Google Image search, here's some FUNNY STAR WARS pictures

Way way back on Star Wars day I tried to blow out all the pictures I have in my random star wars picture folder on tumblr. Turns out I got lazy as the day went on and I only got about half way through. Since nothing of note happened over the weekend (except me not getting to see Thor), I thought I'd use this post to sort of finish what I started.

This is the awesomest Honda Fit ever.


AT-ATs are a sure sign Wampas are invading your base

Not with photoshop skills like that you wont

Bear Claw, you're my only hope.

I knew Leia was just a beard.

Coolest Dodge Omni ever.

First Class Postage, you're my only hope.

Wait a minute, Greedo was a chick? Now we know Han "shot" first.

friday, friday, gotta get down on friday..

I really hope the set designer was smart enough to take this home when they were done shooting the movie. Coolest Playhouse ever!