That's the Spirit

A couple days ago Starz was kind enough to grace us with another trailer for Ash vs Evil Dead. It sill looks pretty incredible. I never ever thought I'd see a sequel to Army of Darkness, especially after they made the reboot a couple years ago. I have never been happier to be more wronger.

Your Husband

Supergirl Seems Nice

I don't know where this picture from the set of the new Supergirl tv show came from (Instagram I think) but it's pretty much the antithesis of everything DC/Warner Bros is doing with Superman in the movies. I didn't have as many problems with Man of Steel as some other net nerds did but I do feel like it was unnecessarily glum and bleak. What ever happened to Truth, Justice and the American way? Here's hoping Supergirl is a bit more hopeful and optimistic than her older cousin.

Backburner: Heatwave

It looks like the great Northwest heatwave might be coming to an end. It's supposed to rain all weekend and temperatures are going to be back in the 70s where they finally belong. Lets celebrate the end of the Heatwave with a song from Backburner (Thesis, Timbuktu, Wordburglar, Jesse Dangerously, Chokeules & Jay Bizzy) called Heatwave. Also lets pray for a little rain over in Eastern Washington, my parents live over there and the wildfires are some seriously scary shit.

Jesse Dangerously: fml lol smdh

I'm almost positive I've posted this video before but I don't care. It's an amazing song, I should post it every week. Everybody has problems, right?

Proven Links

Boston Police Arrest Two Pokémon Players After Apparent Gun Threat Against World Championships. Welp, this is absolutely terrifying. A couple of psychos were arrested after they started threatening people at the World Pokemon Championships. The cops found a couple guns and a butt-load (scientific term) of ammo in their car.

Seriously, if you're not safe at the World Pokemon Championships you're not safe anywhere.

Twitter shuts down 30 sites dedicated to saving politicians' deleted tweets. Aw man, this can't come at a worse time. Have you seen the field of candidates running for president? Luckily for us what twitter has done here just makes it a little bit harder to save those tweets. With the amount of attention politicians are getting on twitter these days there's almost zero possibility of you missing the next time Trump or Cruz says something insane.

The Windows Start menu saga, from 1993 to today. Wow, I remember when Windows 95 went by the code name Chicago. I think it came on like 12 3.25' floppies. I wonder how much I could get for them on eBay if I still had them. 3 maybe 4 dollars?

Every Carrier's Confusing Phone-Buying Plans, Explained. It's been a few years since I've actually been inside an AT&T store to buy a phone. My wife breaks her phone so often we've been buying her go phones (the AT&T windows go-phone is actually pretty nice) and I've had the same sorry Nokia Lumia for at least 3 years. Recently I've scratched the lens on the camera and I've been thinking about getting a new one but holy crap, buying a new phone sounds like the biggest cluster-F ever.

The Cheerleader Effect Has Been Proven By Science. Wow, this was written by the most bro-iest bro ever. I'm surprised my computer didn't try to fist bump me when I was done with the article. Still, science says women are hotter when they travel in packs. It's science, are you going to argue with science?

Know your Internet Celebrity: Onyx The Fortuitous

A couple days ago noted internet weirdo Onyx the Fortuitous was interviewed on a local Detroit news story about the opening of a satanic statue. Now either this clip is doctored or the editor at Detroit Local 4 has one hell of a sense of humor because this guy is awesome and they give him like a full minute and a half to go crazy.

"I didn't take your mail Ms Pemberton. Stop asking me that."

Now if you recognize Onyx the Fortuitous congratulations you probably spend WAY too much time on the internet. Below is some of his previous work. I think you'll find it hilarious but idontknow...

The Ultimate Trickshot Dunk

Man.. somehow I screwed up my DVR yesterday and didn't tape the first episode of Fear the Walking Dead. What's worse is that AMC isn't going to replay it until next Sunday. That is WAY to long to wait but what else can I do? Watch it on the computer like a sucker?

Anyway, here's the fanciest trickshot dunk video you will ever see. Big ups to the lone cameraman that was somehow able to get it all on tape.

Botchamania 285

Hey kids, here's you quick reminder that Summerslam is this weekend. You can get it on the WWE network for just 9.99. In honor of that event allow me to present Botchamania #285. I'm not one of those super wrestling guys that gets all excited about spotting botches in a match BUT guys getting slammed into a table and the table not breaking is always funny.

Smell Ya Links

Steam Gauge: Measuring the value of the Steam Summer Sale. This is one of those long form articles that keeps me coming to ArsTechnica. Every year I drop about $20 on the big Steam Summer sale, I think this year I really blew out my budget and dropped $25. I got Lego Hobbit, Lego Batman 3, Scribblenauts Unleashed, Baulders Gate II, and like 3 other games I can't remember. Fall out New Vegas maybe? Anyway the point is I'm a big fan of picking up games for $4.99 and less.

Here are all the Spider-Mans I can name. These are all pretty funny.

Building Seattle Literally Meant Moving Mountains. It's funny, Seattle is FULL of hills, big steep ones too, not the kind of piddly ass hill you see in the midwest. Can you imagine it even hillier? What did they do when it snowed?

Smell Ya Later Forever, KSK. A few weeks ago the groundbreaking sports blog Kissing Suzy Kolber closed up shop. They're still there in name but the editor left and so did all the writers. This article from their outgoing editor Christmas Ape Mike Tunison is well worth the read even if you never visited the site. It provides fantastic insight as to why most internet sites kinda suck. I link to a lot of uproxx (owners of Kissing Suxy Kolber) articles but man has the quality of that group of sites really gone downhill.

It used to be a site like WithLeather would post 3 or 4 articles a day but they would be good articles. Now it's top 10 tweets about Don Mattingly's long sideburns, or Which 5 Simpsons episodes would you start against Michael Jordan and the 97 Bulls, etc. The only reason I stick around is because they still employ 3 or 4 really fantastic writers. What's worse is some writers I used to really enjoy have started writing really hacky clickbait articles like "Here's why the Fantastic Four sucks forever and is a terrible property and no good movie could save it and all the things you like are stupid because I need to pay the bills with clicks".

Every few years I sort of shift around what sites I look at on a daily basis. 2 years ago I was spending a ton of time on Tumblr, now I'm spending most of that time on reddit. 5 or 6 years ago I used to LOVE Buzzfeed of all sites. It's sort of the nature of the internet, one site, or group of sites, gets popular for their unique content and viewpoint and once the money starts flowing it's a race to the bottom to see who can cash out the quickest. I don't even know anymore man. I guess SBNation has some good content.

The first 3 Minutes of Fear the Walking Dead

I guess we're doubling down on zombies today. AMC has released the first three minutes of the premier episode of Fear The Walking Dead, which just so happens to debut this Sunday on AMC. It's good enough I guess. I'd say it's a bit derivative of the opening scene to the Dawn of the Dead remake.

I know my last post implied that the zombie craze is a bit played out but I'm still looking forward to this show. The Walking Dead did a great job of creating this post-zombie apocalypse world but they completely skipped over how they got there. I'm not sure I want 5 or 6 seasons of this new show but a good 10 episodes where they lay out exactly how the apocalypse went down could be really interesting. Plus it's still August, it's not like there's anything else good on TV right now.

Scout’s Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse is a thing

Here's the totally NSFW redband trailer for the upcoming modern classic Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse....

So we're still doing zombies? That's cool I guess. There's pretty much an unlimited number of groups you can pit against them so the ideas always feel "fresh". You've got postal workers, seemstresses, saw-mill workers, model rocket enthusiasts, golfers, submariners, grocery store baggers, civil war reenactors...

Straight outta The Muppet Show

Here's the Muppets performing NWA's Express Yourself. There are worse ways to start your morning.

Also here's your fun reminder that in Express Yourself Dr. Dre claims that he never smokes week because it'll "cause a brother brain damage". Maybe Easy-E had some good points about Dre being a big old phoney.

Worst Van Links

These Are Our All-Time Favorite Sports Tweets. Wow that's a sick burn on Russel Wilson. I've been telling anyone that will listen for the last couple years, there's something about him I just don't trust. No one's that clean but I digress. These favorite tweets from Deadspin aren't just a bunch of anonymous insults to athletes there are some tweets from real athletes too! I know a fair share of people who think Twitter is incredibly stupid, but I think if you use it correctly it can be a real hoot too.

Men In Taiwan Are Going Crazy Over A McDonald’s Waitress They’re Calling A Goddess. I don't know, Goddess seems a bit much. Honestly she's got nothing on your average k-pop girl. Anyway, HAVE YOU SEEN THE UNIFORMS THEY WERE AT MCDONALDS IN TAIWAN?

Here Are Some Of The Worst Van Names Ever. This list was WAY too short but the ones they have are pretty high-larious. I had a friend growing up whose mom drove a full sized van. It was one of those super lux ones too, with windowshades, captain's chairs and a TV. If they didn't get awful gas millage and I could fit one in my garage I'd definitely consider a full sized van. Like a mini-van pretty is just a signal you've completely given up but a full sized van is like a waving around a big flag that you haven't given up but you just don't give a shit.

Disney is building a massive Star Wars world at Disneyland. I know, I know, I'm super behind on this one. Last weekend Disney had this big D23 event and they made all kinds of cool announcements. Finding Dory, Incredibles II, Marvel superhero rides in one of their parks in Europe because they don't have the rights to any of the Marvel characters in the States... Argueably the biggest one was the planned Star Wars additions to Disneyland and Disneyworld. Already Star Wars week at Disneyland is a huge event, the idea of a large portion of the park dedicated to Star Wars is really cool AND just so happens to coincide when Aryn and I were thinking of taking the kids to their first trip to Disneyland. Looks like everything is coming up Milhouse.

RIP Vern Fonk

Rob Thielke, the president and recognizable face of Vern Fonk Insurance, passed away Sunday after a long battle with cancer, the company confirmed.

He was 50 years old.

Thielke joined Vern Fonk Insurance, a company specializing in high-risk auto insurance started in Seattle, in 1989.
Thielke rose to President of the company in 2013, but is best known for creating the company’s TV commercials, in which he often starred. His off-the-wall ideas and interesting parodies help make the TV spots some of the most recognizable in the area. via Q13fox.com

Man, that's a bummer. I LOVED me some Vern Fonk commercials. As far as the landscape in the pop culture part of my brain goes Vern Fonk commercials are right up there with Comic Books, Simpsons reruns and the entire roster of NBA Live 95. Rob Thielke will be missed.

Deadpool vs Comic-Con

I'm falling behind on my self imposed quota of posts for the month so here's something random from my bookmarks. It's a guy dressed as Deadpool harassing people in a mildly amusing way at last month's San Diego Comic-Con. Or maybe it's the real Deadpool. I don't know. All I know is he's doing a lot of Shia Labeouf jokes which seems incredibly dated now.

Ron Jeremy shows up too, it's weird.

Can You Tell Me How to Get to Premium Cable?

Just in case you missed the big news in children's television programming yesterday, Sesame Street signed a 5 year deal with HBO that will see new episodes air on HBO first, then eventually on public broadcasting. Considering one of Sesame Street's early goals was providing learning tools to poorer children that had no access to preschool and kindergarten it's been seen by many as a controversial decision. The realities of the decision are that the show is expensive to produce and it doesn't have as much licensing money rolling in as it used to. Partnering with HBO like this allows them to produce more episodes and while HBO gets a first crack at those episodes, they'll eventually end up on PBS.

I don't know, the whole things seems a bit like people are making a mountain out of a molehill. The big story here might just be how this impacts funding for Public TV down the road. Conservatives especially love to talk about what a waste of money PBS and NPR are. Does having one of the most public faces of public broadcasting partnering with a private company known for their premium service change that debate? I don't know, but I'll bet it'll come up at least once or twice in the presidential campaigns.

I'm Running for Parliament!

Wyatt Scott is running for parliament as an independent candidate for Mission Matsqui Fraser Canyon. I have zero idea what any of that means but what I do know is that his first youtube ad is amazing. He's riding on the back of a Canadian goose, he's slaying dragons, fighting robots. Forget Parliament, this guy should be Khaleesi. All hail Wyatt Scott!

Hey, That's a Nice Goal

Some Dutch team was down one goal to some other Dutch team when they decided to push their goalie forward. Not only does it work but the goalie scores one of the craziest backheel goals I've ever seen.

I love it when a soccer team pushes the goalie forward, I wish every sport had an equivalent. Imagine if in the NFL the Seahawks could put an extra guy on the field but it meant the punter had to take the snaps or something. Wouldn't that be aweseome? Someone get Roger Goodell on that.

Disastrous Links

Star Wars EW Pics. Woohoo, new pictures from Star Wars! Is it November already? Seriously it was 82 degrees inside my house when I went to bed last night. Save me mild Fall temperatures.

I Spent A Day With The Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet. Doug Murano is a pretty funny car writer over at Jalopnik who has a predilection for unique cars. Here's what happened when he spent a day with the ugliest car Nissan has ever made. Also of note, my car is in the shop again. Nothing like the engine dying on you while you're sitting in the left turn lane of a busy intersection. Thanks for nothing Germany.

‘Fantastic Four’ Grossed A Disastrous $26.2 Million On A $120 Million Budget. Yikes. You know what? I'm honestly surprised the movie made $26.2 Million. Is that sort of the baseline for any blockbuster now. Like as long as you spend over $100 million plus another $50 million on marketing you're sure to open at about 25? There couldn't be anyone that went to see it thinking it was going to be good, right?

I'm actually sad that the movie was re-shot and edited as heavily as it was. I'm sure that Josh Trank's original version was pretty terrible too but at least it would be a singular vision, not something the producers tried to slap together when the movie wasn't testing well with focus groups.

‘Arrow’ Star Stephen Amell Will Be Wrestling A Cosmic Supervillain And An Evil King At WWE SummerSlam. Hey Summerslam is in like 2 weeks. Anyone want to come over and watch a bunch of terrible wrestling? That guy from Arrow is going to be there.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens, New Trailer (Kind Of)

Yesterday Disney released a new Star Wars trailer for Korea and it includes like 2 seconds of additional footage not found in the North American version. It's also a lot shorter but hey new footage is new footage. Is it November yet?

New Iron Fist Trailer

Hot off the success of the Fantastic Four this weekend Marvel has released the trailer for Iron Fist. It has a lot more rapping in it that I would have imagined.

Mega Ran "Infinite Lives"

Super talented "nerdcore" rapper Random AKA Mega Ran just released this new video for Infinite Lives. Not only is it a catchy song that will get stuck in your head but the video is pretty cool. I love the added 3d effect to the classic Sonic levels. I kinda wish someone would get on that.

Fantastic Links

What Happened Here? ‘Fantastic Four’ Feels Like It Has An Entire Reel Missing. By all accounts the Fantastic Four movie is terrible. If you were up on the twitters yesterday you might have heard something about it's director Josh Trank claiming that his vision for the movie was AWESOME yet the studio screwed it all up by demanding reshoots. What's left by most accounts is a disjointed movie movie with a plot that makes you say "huh?" and characters that make you think "why?"

To be fair to Josh Trank it does suck to be hired by a studio and then have them undercut you at every turn BUT when your vision includes Dr. Doom as a blogger maybe you should just admit that your vision is terrible. Also whoever decided The Thing doesn't need pants should be shot into the moon.

The 50 Most Cringe-Worthy Moments In Comic-Book Movie History. I'd say this is like the 40 most Cringe-Worthy moments in Comic Book Movie History. Some of this stuff, like finding out John Blakes real first name is Robin, was cool. The Catwoman basketball scene though... yeesh.

Surfing the Internet… from my TRS-80 Model 100. I don't know why you would want to ever do this but congratulations to the guy that pulled this off.

Porn Site to WWE Thanks for the Publicity Your Fans Love Our Moves Too! So if you're not following the WWE here's a quick recap. The women's division has been hot garbage for years, however the WWE has recently called up a bunch of kick ass female wrestlers from their developmental division and given them a chance to shine. One such group of ladies was recently dubbed the Submission Sorority... which just so happens to be the name of a rather popular porn series by BangBros. Nice work WWE.

The Greatest Office Dunks of All Time

office layoffs. just me and that 6' hoop for my final days.

- Jake H

Deadpool: The Redband Trailer

So here's the new Deadpool trailer, it's full of swears and blood and explosions just like the internet wanted. I'm a bit on the fence with this one. There's one side of me that agrees that this looks like the first superhero movie written and directed by Maxim magazine but there's another side of me that is giving that other side a wedgie. In theory you would think a rated R deadpool movie would be a slam dunk but I have a feeling this is going to end up being rather polarizing. I think it's all going to hinge on the humor. There's "smart" lowbrow humor and then there's just lowbrow humor. If this movie can be smart and crude I think it's going to be a big success.

The Deadpool Trailer Teaser

Sorry I'm a bit late posting this teaser to the big official Deadpool Trailer that's coming out tomorrow. Odds are it's late enough in the day that you're probably going to read those back to back tomorrow with the official trailer being first. That's weird. like a crappy blogging wormhole that looks into the most recent past... or future. Lets call it the Future Past. Futast.

Just A Guy Surfing on a Dirt Bike...

Robbie Maddison, who I assume is a professional motor bike rider, decided that riding his bike on the earth was played out so he decided to take it out into the ocean. Of course all of these shennanigans are brought to you by a skate shoe company. Honestly this is all so insane I'm surprised he didn't fly off into the sunset like they do at the end of Grease.