Disastrous Links

Star Wars EW Pics. Woohoo, new pictures from Star Wars! Is it November already? Seriously it was 82 degrees inside my house when I went to bed last night. Save me mild Fall temperatures.

I Spent A Day With The Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet. Doug Murano is a pretty funny car writer over at Jalopnik who has a predilection for unique cars. Here's what happened when he spent a day with the ugliest car Nissan has ever made. Also of note, my car is in the shop again. Nothing like the engine dying on you while you're sitting in the left turn lane of a busy intersection. Thanks for nothing Germany.

‘Fantastic Four’ Grossed A Disastrous $26.2 Million On A $120 Million Budget. Yikes. You know what? I'm honestly surprised the movie made $26.2 Million. Is that sort of the baseline for any blockbuster now. Like as long as you spend over $100 million plus another $50 million on marketing you're sure to open at about 25? There couldn't be anyone that went to see it thinking it was going to be good, right?

I'm actually sad that the movie was re-shot and edited as heavily as it was. I'm sure that Josh Trank's original version was pretty terrible too but at least it would be a singular vision, not something the producers tried to slap together when the movie wasn't testing well with focus groups.

‘Arrow’ Star Stephen Amell Will Be Wrestling A Cosmic Supervillain And An Evil King At WWE SummerSlam. Hey Summerslam is in like 2 weeks. Anyone want to come over and watch a bunch of terrible wrestling? That guy from Arrow is going to be there.

Fantastic Links

What Happened Here? ‘Fantastic Four’ Feels Like It Has An Entire Reel Missing. By all accounts the Fantastic Four movie is terrible. If you were up on the twitters yesterday you might have heard something about it's director Josh Trank claiming that his vision for the movie was AWESOME yet the studio screwed it all up by demanding reshoots. What's left by most accounts is a disjointed movie movie with a plot that makes you say "huh?" and characters that make you think "why?"

To be fair to Josh Trank it does suck to be hired by a studio and then have them undercut you at every turn BUT when your vision includes Dr. Doom as a blogger maybe you should just admit that your vision is terrible. Also whoever decided The Thing doesn't need pants should be shot into the moon.

The 50 Most Cringe-Worthy Moments In Comic-Book Movie History. I'd say this is like the 40 most Cringe-Worthy moments in Comic Book Movie History. Some of this stuff, like finding out John Blakes real first name is Robin, was cool. The Catwoman basketball scene though... yeesh.

Surfing the Internet… from my TRS-80 Model 100. I don't know why you would want to ever do this but congratulations to the guy that pulled this off.

Porn Site to WWE Thanks for the Publicity Your Fans Love Our Moves Too! So if you're not following the WWE here's a quick recap. The women's division has been hot garbage for years, however the WWE has recently called up a bunch of kick ass female wrestlers from their developmental division and given them a chance to shine. One such group of ladies was recently dubbed the Submission Sorority... which just so happens to be the name of a rather popular porn series by BangBros. Nice work WWE.

Fantastic Four Trailer

They call this trailer for Fox's reboot of the Fantastic Four franchise a teaser trailer but it's almost 2 minutes long. I don't think the word teaser means what they think it means. Surprisingly it's not as terrible looking as most assumed it would be. Don't get me wrong, I still assume this will be a complete pile of garbage and beyond Roger Ebert rising from the grave to give it 4 stars I won't be seeing it in the theater.

Josh Trank, the writer and director, has made a lot of hay this morning by claiming this interpretation of the FF will be "hard sci-fi". Again... I don't think that word means what he thinks it means. By saying hard sci-fi I think Trank and Fox are trying to temper expectations that this is going to be a traditional (and in their opinion boring) superhero movie. Anyway the movie comes out in August and they just went back to reshoot some scenes, so I'm sure everything is going swimmingly.

It's funny that every studio and their grandmother wants to copy Marvel's success with their film franchises yet no one wants to make a superhero movie or at the very least they want to take the source material and throw it in the toilet first. Good luck with that, just don't be shocked when your movie tanks and Captain Marvel makes like a billion dollars.

Everyone's a Racist, unless they're not

In case you missed it, earlier this week Fox announced the new cast for the Fantastic Four reboot. The big controversy (other than who are these guys?) is that Johnny Storm is going to be played by an African American actor, Michael B. Jordan. This has basically split nerds into two camps. "Johnny Storm should be white because he is white in the comics" and "shut up, racist".

I guess there's a third camp too. "Who cares, this movie is going to SUUUUCCCCKKKK"

I don't really like the cast because they're all too young and young equals origin story and origin stories kinda blow. We're about 1 year removed from Jonathan Hickman's amazing run on the Fantastic Four and I would MUCH rather see a movie based on parts of it than another stupid origin story. They might as well rename the film Fantastic Four Babies.

I will say however that I don't believe that everyone that has problems with the casting of an African American guy to play a fictional white character is automatically a racist. In case you didn't know, comic book fans can be a little fanatical. The idea that they want to see movies based on comics look JUST like the comics isn't that absurd.

I'm not saying there aren't people out there that are opposed to this casting because their racist. I'm sure there are plenty, I'm just not so quick to point that finger as some.

Never fear Mark Millar is here

Good news everybody, 20th Century (still?) Fox has hired Mark Millar (Kick Ass, Wanted) as a creative consultant on all their movies based on Maarvel Comics. In theory he's going to be the glue that helps make the next Fantastic Four and X-Men reboot worth watching.

Now Mark Millar is a perfectly good comic book writer if you're looking for a comic where a couple of mutant siblings hook up or a a group of the Hulk's descendants turn into cannibalistic hillbillies, However I'm not sure that's what Fox is looking for with their upcoming Fantastic Four reboot. I guess it could be worse, it's not like they just hired Brett Ratner again.

Spider-Man, really?

This is stupid.

Allow me to elaborate. The black and white costumes look terrible. The new logo makes no sense if there's still four of them. Why replace one smart-ass man child in The Human Torch with another one in Spider-Man (who is already in the Avengers)? Mr Fantastic looks like he just smelled a fart. Do I really need to go on?

update, seattle washington: This is artwork for the upcoming book FF, which stands for Future Foundation not the Fantastic Four. Also I've heard Hickman has been doing a bang up job with the Fantastic Four lately and I'm eagerly looking forward to picking up some trades. It still looks like Reed is trying to figure out who delt it.

Jingle links all the way

32 Quotes to troll Geeks. 32 of these seemed a bit much, but there's at least 10 good ones.

How Different age groups celebrate Christmas. This is so true, having a kid this time of year is awesome sauce.

This issue a member of the Fantastic 4 dies. I'm guessing it's HERBIE.