Get that Sauce

Every once in a while you run across a story, neigh, an event that's just so craptacular you become obsessed with it for way longer than necessary. This last weekend Sauce-Gate was that story.

In case you were blissfully out of the loop let me fill you in: A couple weeks ago (maybe months, I don't care) Rick, from the adult swim cartoon Rick and Morty, went on some screed about McDonald's Szechuan Sauce, a limited run dipping sauce available WHEN THE MOVIE MULAN PREMIERED. For whatever reasons this really hit a nerve with all the Pickle Rick's out there watching at home and a groundswell of demand for Szechuan Sauce started to... well, swell. Someone in the McDonald's promotions department thought they were being clever and were like "f-yeah" let's give the nerds what they want. They ran some posters and announced that for one day, October 7th, a few participating stores would be getting the cartoon sauce, so have at it nerds. It did not go well.

Several stores had no idea they were on this promotional list, a few stores got posters but no sauce, some got sauce but only like 20 packets. Demand was so great that at some locations, and oh I wish I was making this up, the POLICE HAD TO BE CALLED. The pictures on twitter were amazing. A few McDonald's locations had hundreds of fans, line up for hours only to get turned away. The outrage on the net was so strong, it trended on twitter all day, it was really amazing. I still can't stop thinking about it, hence this post.

By Sunday most of the sane people on the internet were endlessly dunking on those complaining they didn't get their cartoon sauce. McDonald's gave one of those really half-hearted corporate apologies and said later this winter they would make a boatload more sauce and come to your house and pour it down your throat until you choked. At least that's what I assume it said, I didn't read it that close.

On a related note I tried a couple episodes of Rick and Morty this weekend after hearing about all the hub-bub. It was pretty funny. Not drive around all day looking for a McDonald's with a couple packets of special sauce funny, but pretty funny. On a cartoon comedy scale of The Cleveland Show to Archer, it's like Season 11 of the Simpsons, where you're still laughing but you're also wondering why the show isn't as good as it was anymore. I'll probably watch a few more episodes but not until I catch up with Lucha Underground (only 10 episodes behind!)

Worst Van Links

These Are Our All-Time Favorite Sports Tweets. Wow that's a sick burn on Russel Wilson. I've been telling anyone that will listen for the last couple years, there's something about him I just don't trust. No one's that clean but I digress. These favorite tweets from Deadspin aren't just a bunch of anonymous insults to athletes there are some tweets from real athletes too! I know a fair share of people who think Twitter is incredibly stupid, but I think if you use it correctly it can be a real hoot too.

Men In Taiwan Are Going Crazy Over A McDonald’s Waitress They’re Calling A Goddess. I don't know, Goddess seems a bit much. Honestly she's got nothing on your average k-pop girl. Anyway, HAVE YOU SEEN THE UNIFORMS THEY WERE AT MCDONALDS IN TAIWAN?

Here Are Some Of The Worst Van Names Ever. This list was WAY too short but the ones they have are pretty high-larious. I had a friend growing up whose mom drove a full sized van. It was one of those super lux ones too, with windowshades, captain's chairs and a TV. If they didn't get awful gas millage and I could fit one in my garage I'd definitely consider a full sized van. Like a mini-van pretty is just a signal you've completely given up but a full sized van is like a waving around a big flag that you haven't given up but you just don't give a shit.

Disney is building a massive Star Wars world at Disneyland. I know, I know, I'm super behind on this one. Last weekend Disney had this big D23 event and they made all kinds of cool announcements. Finding Dory, Incredibles II, Marvel superhero rides in one of their parks in Europe because they don't have the rights to any of the Marvel characters in the States... Argueably the biggest one was the planned Star Wars additions to Disneyland and Disneyworld. Already Star Wars week at Disneyland is a huge event, the idea of a large portion of the park dedicated to Star Wars is really cool AND just so happens to coincide when Aryn and I were thinking of taking the kids to their first trip to Disneyland. Looks like everything is coming up Milhouse.

The Hamburglar is back, I guess.

McDonalds has been making a lot of hay lately with it's rebooting of the Hamburglar. It's weird and stupid and feels kind of like Poochie but it's also weird and stupid in a great way. Enjoy it while you can before his spaceship crashes on the way back to his home planet and we never hear from him again.

McD's is after me (apparently, so is my wife)! Tweet #RobbleRobble to keep them off my trail. https://t.co/JBVThrmHir

— McDonald's (@McDonalds) May 12, 2015

Last Friday's Links Late

The McDonalds Monopoly Fraud. Get this, for years the McDonalds Monopoly contest was rigged. For roughly 6 years an employee at a company McDonalds subcontracted out to run promotions was straight up stealing the rarest pieces and selling them or giving them away. 6 years!

It funny because I eat at McDonalds way too much and for years have dreamed about winning the Monopoly contest. I'm even one of those sad saps that will supersize my order or get nuggets just to get extra pieces. It's the only time I play something close to the lottery. I feel like Mouth felt in the Goonies when he started taking back his wishes: "Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back."

Motoped Survival Bike. Last week I rode my bike for the first time in about 6 years. Maybe I would ride it more if it came with a motor and a mother chunkin crossbow. Tell me I wouldn't be the coolest dad on the block riding around on this thing towing one of those bright yellow baby carriers. You better say I'm the coolest, I have a crossbow.

11 Characters Marvel Studios should consider for a female led film. Like many marvel zombies I'm a big proponent of a Captain Marvel movie but she's not the only female comic character ready to make the leap to the big screen. She Hulk would be great and a Black Widow movie could be very cool. If Marvel really wanted to stay a step ahead of DC they should go all in and make a Ms Marvel movie with Kamala Khan. You could make it on 1/10th the budget of a Guardians or Avengers and just market the shit out of it to tweens and YA readers. They wouldn't just beat DC to the punch they would practically be inventing a whole new genre of superhero movie.

Zoe Saldana on Going Green and the Importance of Teenage Boys. Yeah this is a weird read. Either Zoe Saldana is super insecure and just NEEDS younger men to think she's attractive or she's bought into the worst hollywood sterotypes that comic book/action/adventure/science fiction movies are for pimply faced teenage boys and if you don't feed them a hot chick your movie will be unsuccessful. Either way this article is kinda depressing.