The Steam Machine Needs More Time

A couple days ago Valve announced that the first round of Steam Machines were going to be pushed back to 2015. Not exactly great news for people hoping for the "real" next generation of consoles. I have a theory going on that's probably crazy talk but here me out. I think the delay on the Steam Machine is due to a delay in Half-Life 3. I know, I know, there's nothing but speculation when it comes to Half-Life 3 but I just have this feeling that Valve has something extra up their sleeve when it comes to the Steam Machines. A linux based console/pc hybrid can't be the easiest sell, it's going to need really good and I mean REALLY GOOD, games to get the attention of the unwashed masses. Call of Duty #57: Duty Harder just won't cut it. What better way to turn some heads than releasing what might be the most anticipated game of all time as an exclusive (or at least as a steam exclusive).

I mean this has to be some sort of software delay right, I get it that Valve says this delay has to do with the controller but really? The Controller? That dog don't hunt. Modern wireless controller tech has been around since 2006 is it a problem with the touch pads? Motion sensors? Unless they're being developed by Gabe himself in his basement that doesn't sound right to me. I'd much rather believe in a thing that probably doesn't exist than here some sort of "rational" explanation.

Now that's how you sell plants

Peaceful Belly Farm in Haily Idaho is having a sale this weekend and wooo-doggy do they know how to advertise it. If I already hadn't spend a hundred bucks on a bunch of plants for around the house last month I'd definitely be there*.




* I definitely wouldn't be there

Japan has a Pokemon World Cup Jersey

That's right Japan has a world cup Jersey with Pikachu on it because of course they do. I love it. I know I haven't talked about it much on here but I'm super super pumped for the World Cup this year. I know the USMNT has as much of a chance getting through their group as I have getting through the opening scene in Star Trek without crying but who cares? It's the World Cup baby! International soccer at it's highest level!

I plan on enjoying at least three quarters of the tournament at home sitting on my couch in my underwear eating a big block of cheese. It's the summer of Kevin!

Crossfit Fails are the best Fails

How can you tell if someone does Crossfit? Don't worry they'll tell you if they do Crossfit.

Ok, that's a super lame joke but oh man is it true. A semi-distant relative does both crossfit and eats paleo and holy shit, everything he posts on facebook is food and exercise related. I'm all for a person getting exercise and eating well but come one. Post a picture of your kids every once in a while, maybe go see a movie. Yeesh.

Anyway this video is pretty funny. Prepare to watch people drop weights on themselves in hilarious ways.

Here's Nic Cage laughing for 20 minutes

Have fun sleeping tonight.

Galloping Links

Posters for Sin City 2. I almost forgot this was coming out this year. I've already seen Captain America 2 and X-Men: Days of Future Continuity Errors and I have strong plans to see Guardians of the Galaxy. Will this be the first summer since having kids that I see 4 movies? Dare I dream?

Also Rosario Dawson, not unattractive.

Has Marvel Found its Ms. Marvel? What the hell is going on here Marvel. Eden Sher from the Middle, tweeted a few things about visiting Marvel studios and leaving with a stackload of Ms Marvel comics that has set the internet abuzz. Eden Sher is fine on the middle, she's probably a great actress but Ms Marvel is either a 15 year old Muslim Girl or a 30 year old super badass ex-navy fighter pilot and head of NASA security that received super powers from the alien race known as the Kree. I don't mean to get all nerdy on you but she hardly seems right for either character. Maybe they're working on an Avengers Babies movie?

Whoop Dreams Is Now Available Online For Free. If you're going to watch one 40 minute documentary on the Gathering of the Juggalos on Hulu today make it this one. Seriously, this is really really good. Juggalos really fascinate me, the guy near the beginning that talks about how the family has saved his life was super sincere and compelling yet 10 minutes later it's time for hot oil wrestling! I don't know man, one day I'd love to go to The Gathering but I'm pretty sure if I went I'd either end up bored for 3 days or I'd end up having the time of my life and end up on heroin. I'm pretty sure there's not middle ground.

A visit to Galloping Ghost, the largest video game arcade in the USA. Next bachelor party I go to had better be in Chicago so we can hit up Galloping Ghost. Wait a minute, I forgot the burglars stole my jar of quarters. DAMN IT YOU DIRTY THIEVES I WAS GOING TO PLAY DIG DUG!

These Futuristic Buildings Reveal the Soviets' Vision for Tomorrow. I always imagined Soviet architecture falling into two different categories. Drab and utilitarian and overly ornate and baroque. A lot of these old "buildings from the future" are pretty cool looking. If half of them weren't abandoned I think they'd fit pretty well into most modern cities.

Lego Batman 3: Beyond Gotham teaser

Well here's the next video game I'll be playing.

Summertime is great

I'm not going to lie to you. You probably shouldn't watch this video.

She Hulk is a Porn Star and you're a nerd. Deal

A couple days ago David Goyer (co-writer of Nolan's Batman Trilogy and writer of the upcoming Man of Steel 2: Electric Boogaloo) was on some podcast I've never heard of and he had some disparaging words for a couple comic book characters, most notably She Hulk.

“The Hulk was this classic male power fantasy. It’s like, most of the people reading comic books were these people like me who were just these little kids getting the shit kicked out of them every day, and so then they created She-Hulk, right? [...] I think She-Hulk is the chick that you could f–k if you were Hulk, you know what I’m saying? She-Hulk was the extension of the male power fantasy. So it’s like if I’m going to be this geek who becomes the Hulk then let’s create a giant green porn star that only the Hulk could f–k.”

Then he went on to ask for everyone to clap if they knew who the Martian Manhunter was. Then when a couple people clapped he asked how many of them had ever been laid. THEN he proceeded to shit all over Martian Manhunter and he proposed a new origin for MANHUNTER that sounded an awful lot like the plot of Species II.

So there you go. David Goyer is kind of an asshat and doesn't know shit about comic books. Are there people that sexualize She Hulk? Of course there are. There are weirdos out there that sexualize every comic book character but Stan Lee created her so Marvel would own the trademark when there was an idea floating around to spin off the Lou Ferrigno TV show with a female Hulk. Frankly She Hulk is kind of a bad ass and probably a better female role model than some more well known characters like Wonder Woman or Catwoman.

I'm not one of those nerds that thinks movies based on comics need to slavishly adhere to the source material but it's nice to think that the people creating these movies at least respect the material. It's clear that Goyer thinks comics are stupid and harbors a typical too cool for school level of contempt for people that read them. I like Ben Affleck and all but I'm kinda hoping that Man of Steel 2 tanks just so DC will kick Goyer to the curb. I know that won't happen but seriously that guy can get bent.

Big Hero 6 gets a Big Hero Trailer

Big Hero 6 is the first made for the big screen animated collaboration between Disney and Marvel Studios. The interesting thing is that the movie looks nothing like the comic book it's supposedly based on. Not that the comic was that memorable or anything, It was basically a team book that united some of Marvel's Asian superheroes/villains. It ran for like 4 issues or something. I guess the movie is based on one of the members of the team 13 year old Hiro Takachiho, who's claim to fame is a big robot he built himself.

It looks cute enough. I'll definitely go see it with my son. Still it's a bit disappointing that with all the Marvel characters Disney now has at their disposal they picked Big Hero 6. I mean Runaways is sitting right there... completely unused. Someone get on that.

I think I found my next Lego set

This motorized Astromech droid by Vimal Patel is one of the cooler Lego builds I've seen in a while. I appreciate that while it's pretty recognizable as an Astromech droid from Star Wars he's taken a ton of creative license with it. To many fancy Lego builds these days are strict recreations of something else and while that can be impressive, there's something to be said for taking a general idea and making it yours.

Next time I go to the Lego store maybe I'll hit up the pick a brick wall and build myself one. They have motors and actuators on the pick a brick wall, right?

Guardians of the Galaxy Trailer #2

I'm going to have a very hard time living my life between now and the time when this movie comes out.

6 Cartoons I'd like to see on Netflix Streaming

Animaniacs

They're tiny they're tooney they're just a little looney... Animaniacs is a cartoon that when it aired was really hit and miss with me, however when they hit they hit big. I'm surprised it's not already available streaming, considering when it aired and how beloved it was, it seems like this one would be a no brainer to appeal to both gen-xers and millenials.

Eek the Cat

Eek the Cat was produced by Savage Steve Holland, the same guy that wrote and directed One Crazy Summer and Better off Dead. That's really all you need to know about it. That and it's the only kids cartoon I've ever seen to do a Pulp Fiction parody.

Robotech

I know very little about Robotech. I know it was an imported version of the Japanese cartoon Macross but I don't think I've seen more than 2 episodes. It was run in syndication in the 80s but I'm not sure it ever aired in the area that I lived in, or if I did I'm sure it was on a channel I didn't get. In the late 80s early 90s I caught a couple episodes on VHS but other than a motorcycle that turned into a suit of armor I can't remember a thing about it.

There are people my age that go NUTS for Robotech, one of these days I'd like to see what all the fuss is about. Unfortunately I believe the distribution rights for the US have been in dispute for years with no sign of hope.

Talespin

This would be Ducktales if I didn't already have the first couple seasons on DVD. In fact let's consider this listing a catch all for the Gummi Bears, Ducktales, Rescue Rangers and Darkwing Duck. That whole Disney afternoon block was full of good quality cartoons. Hopefully with Disney's new deal with Netflix a couple of these will pop up soon.

Teen Titans

One day while wearing my Space Ghost t-shirt I had a conversation with a girl, who was at least 10 years younger than I was, that they just don't make cartoons like they used to. I loled a bit on the inside because her frame of reference for old school cartoons included cartoons that I didn't think were that old, including the Teen Titans.

The new Titans cartoon, Teen Titans Go, is a good cartoon in it's own right but it's light on action and high on comedy. It would be nice to watch the classic cartoon every once in a while to switch things up.

Star Blazers

Oh Star Blazers let me count the ways that I love you. Star Blazers was another Japanese import that ran in syndication in the states in the late 70s to early 80s. There are few people that remember the show that don't have fond memories of it. Back in the mid 90s I caught the entire first season on VHS so I have a decent memory of how the story goes, still it would be nice to rewatch it. It would be even nicer to watch it alongside the new Anime Space Ship Yamato 2199.

Star Blazers has been on Netflix streaming before.. sort of. Netflix had the "movies", the first of which was just a compilation of episodes from the Iscandar story arc. They're not bad they're just not that good. Most people when they think of Star Blazers think of the Iscandar story arc, anything less than the full 26 episode season is a big let down.

Then and Links

Let's take a long look at Alex Morgan's golf swing. It's a link to an instagram video of Alex Morgan in yoga pants swinging a golf club and doing a little dance. I'm going to go ahead and start counting my google bucks right now.

Oh look, I have enough to replace the sliding glass door burglars smashed when breaking into my house! And here I thought I was having a shitty day...

Seattle's LEGO Superstar: Alice Finch Goes 'Beyond the Brick'. Having seen Alice Finch's work in person I feel like I'm qualified to say "holy crap she makes good Lego things". The Rivendale build is even better than the Hogwarts one she did. The amount of detail in setting up all the scenes and getting all the geography to look right is amazing. Plus the cool stuff like the tide of horses is just crazy. Even after reading this interview I have no idea how she does it.

Panni World Cup Stickers: Then and Now. Simple premise.. let's laugh at how soccer players looked in 2006. Clint Dempsey in particular. Seriously Deuce, wtf?

Confessions of a serial reality TV star. I'm not sure there will ever be a day where I'm not fascinated by what goes on behind the scenes of MTV's The Real World (or any spin-off). This behind the scenes look from Susie Meister is a bit dry and at times self congratulatory but it's an interesting read none the less. I wish she had named more names... like I need to know that Wes is even more of an a-hole in real life. I need to know it!

Playdough: Turn it Out

Remember way back in 2013 when I used to post music videos every Friday? I'm going to do that again. There's nothing that special about the video, other than how awkward DJ Sean P looks throughout it but the song is banging and I've been listening to it a lot lately. So there you are.

First Teaser for The Flash

Yesterday the first trailer for the WB's Arrow spin off The Flash, hit the interwebs. It's ok I guess. I mean it's a trailer for the new Flash show, it's a minute long and The Flash is in it for all of 5 seconds? I know he's fast but come on, you're kind of burying the lead here.

In a world where I have time to watch new TV shows this should be right up my alley. The Flash is my favorite DC hero so why wouldn't I want to see him on TV every week? I honestly think I still have a bad taste in my mouth regarding DC TV shows thanks to Smallville. Man did I watch that shit fest for WAY too long. I hear Arrow is good but every time I feel like giving it a chance I hear the theme to Smallville in my head and I almost break my remote in nerd rage.

SOMEBODY SAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEEE

UPDATE!!

And just like that the WB has released a 5 minute sneak preview of the pilot episode. I'm not gonna front, this looks A LOT better. I might just have to DVR this one.

Take it down a notch coach

Did you know that your Seattle Mist are 1-0 after defeating the Green Bay Chill 38-24 way back on Friday, May 2? Of course you didn't, because no one cares about the LFL. I take that back, the head coach for the Mist cares. He cares A LOT!

Hey it's that thing every other blog is talking about

Here's the first picture of Ben Affleck (or a CGI approximation of Ben Affleck) dressed up as Batman standing in front of the Batmobile (or a CGI approximation of the Batmobile) for the Man of Steel sequel that doesn't really feel like it's about Superman anymore. Looks good enough to me.

I've said this before there was a lot I liked about Man of Steel but there was just as much stuff I didn't like too. I didn't love it, I didn't hate it. I don't know... wait and see?

2014 Gathering of the Juggalos Infomercial

So if you have 23 minutes to spare I heartily recommend you watch the infomercial for the 2014 Gathering of the Juggalos. It's got all your favorites, like Insane Clown Posse, Kottonmouth Kings, Blaze ya Dead Homie, Boondoz, the axe Murder Boys and WWE superstar Mick Foley. Plus a bunch of other weird freak show acts and rap groups you can't believe need money this bad like Cypruss Hill and Shock G.. All in beautiful, rural Ohio.

I'm not lying when I say I really want to go to this some year. I have a couple years before I hit 40, maybe I should start saving for the 2015 Gathering right now. At the very least I could start hording Faygo and clown makeup.

No Compromises Links

Building a perfect, no-compromises aftermarket NES… for $500. I'm not sure if it's worth $500 (wait a minute, yeah I'm sure it's not) but that is one really pretty NES clone. Some day when I'm independently wealthy I'll have to pick up one of these. For the cabin of course. No more blowing RBI baseball for 20 minutes before getting it to work. Top loading baby!

The Organised Comic Con Scalpers Of Seattle. This is really a non story. ECCC sold out this year and like any sell out event there were scalpers. I guess this was news to some people but anyone that's ever been to a concert or a sporting event has had to deal with scalpers. They ask if you're selling or buying, you say no and you keep on walking. What's the big deal?

Of course I really put this here to complain about not showing up in the background of a single ECCC gallery this year. My son was dressed up as Robin and everything. The closest I got was this picture of the Rachel Nichols panel she posted to pinterest. I'm in the front row, about 3 seats too far to the right to be in the picture. Stupid non-wide angle lens camera.

‘Riker Googling’ Finally Exposes The Sexy Search History Of Star Trek’s Number One. I'm not a huge fan of parody twitter accounts, but this one is pretty funny, even if it is the same joke retold 100 different ways.

38 Maps They Didn’t Teach You At School. This is the most 'murica thing I think I've ever seen. I get it that college sports are at a high demand and as such they bring in a ton of money but think about this map for a minute. Almost every state pays basketball and football coaches more than the people that actually run the entire state. USA USA USA!

Gamer Girls Magazine is a master class in pandering. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that girls who play video games can't have nice asses and hang around the apartment all day in thongs. However, when your magazine highlighting said girls starts referring to their butt cheeks as gamer pads I'm pretty sure you haven't just crossed the line of good taste you've basically crossed it, burned it to the ground and spread it's ashes out at sea (like the line would have wanted).

Congrats Gamer Girl magazine, you've made LowRider magazine look like the New Yorker.

Did You Know Gaming: Team Fortress 2

Oh Team Fortress Classic... so many hours. So many hours.

This episode of Did You Know Gaming takes a look at Team Fortress 2. Now I'll freely admit, I've played TF2 for a total of like 30 minutes but I've played hours and hours of Team Fortress Classic, so I was very excited to see this video. I'm not gonna front, TFC had it's problems but it's still one of my favorite games ever. My glasses might be a bit rose colored as it was the first game I ever really played on-line with a decent high speed internet connection.

I never did get into TF2. By the time I picked it up on the 360 it was already 3 years old so the on-line community was pretty stout. I remember being really frustrated with finding servers and getting my ass whooped all the time. Still, it was easily my most anticipated game of 1999.

Giant Robot Feet are a thing I need

My slippers have a blow out in the heel, which means any time I wear them around the house the leave a trail of broken, brittle white plastic. Perfect for a baby to eat and catch lead cancer. I think I'm going to have to upgrade to these Giant Robot Feet (sound effects included). My birthday is right around the corner...

One Day

Star Wars Cantina Band Auditions

It always seems to happen that when I go on vacation, even for a couple days, a whole bunch of fun pops up on the web. Here's a College Humor thingy on celebrity auditions for the Modal Nodes. I'm a pretty big mc chris fan AND Jessie's Girl is probably one of my favorite songs from the 80s so this was right up my space alley.

Last Week's Links

All 552 Simpsons Episodes to Air Consecutively on FXX. Mark the date August 21st on your calendar. That's the date fledgling Fox network FXX will start airing all 552 Simpsons episodes non-stop in order. I did some quick math and assuming they're all 30 minute episodes that's about 11 and a half days worth of the Simpsons, of course only 3 and half of those days are really worth watching. No joke there, 3 and a half days in is when you'll hit season 8 and everything starts to fall apart. Sure every once in a while you'll still get a modern classic like Tomacco but the longer the marathon goes the worse the show gets, until all you're left with are unfunny gimmick episodes and annoying guest stars.

I was promised they had shows for years. I can't believe they lied to me in song.

Awesome Photos from the Atari Landfill. The Urban myth goes that ET for the Atari 2600 was such a flop that Atari had to bury thousands of cartridges in a dump in New Mexico. The truth isn't that far off. ET was a best seller for the 2600 but it still didn't come close to meeting Atari's projections. Instead of sitting on the inventory (and paying taxes on it) Atari decided to destroy it along with a bunch of other cartridges and hardware they were sitting on. The move kept the lights on for a while but it didn't save them from falling into obscurity when the home console market crashed in the early 80s.

Last week a film crew making a documentary finally was able to get permission to excavate the infamous Atari dump site. Here are pictures of what they found. Sooo much Defender...

The Internet Is About to Become Worse Than Television. There's A LOT of handwringing going around on the internet right now in regards to the FCC and their stance on both the Comcast/Time Warner acquisition and the fed's recent stance on net neutrality. I would like to believe in the power of the free market the problem is that right now the market isn't free. There are large areas of the country where high speed (and I mean real high speed not 4G BS) internet access is limited to one MAYBE two providers. That's not a free market that's a monopoly/duopoly where price fixing and service abuses can run rampant.

BTW, that was the first picture that popped up when I google image searched "The internet". Never change internet. Never change.

DEADPOOL vs. X-FORCE Go Back to the 90s For Their First 'Extreme' Face-Off. As a comic book reading child of the late 80s to early 90s this is very much related to my interests. I'm bummed it's not actually drawn by Rob Liefeld but he gave it his seal of approval on Twitter so that's enough for me.