Wu-Tang movie ain't nothing to F with

Here's the trailer for The Man with the Iron Fists, The RZA's directorial debut. If you want to save yourself the two minutes it will take to watch this, just imagine what a trailer to a movie staring RZA, Russell Crowe and Lucy Liu, directed by RZA, written by Eli Roth and RZA and produced by Quentin Tarantino would look like and this is EXACTLY that.

BTW, what happened to Russell Crowe? Did he get Gout or Diabeties or something? Did Joaquin Phoenix poison him in real life?

The Annie Gasp

Here's a supercut of all the times Annie (Alison Brie) has gasped on Community. 6 seasons and a movie!

Alternate Careers for Samuel L Jackson

I lol'd

via pleated-jeans

New Judge Dredd trailer is the law

Did you know there was a new Judge Dredd movie coming out? Well there is, and it's %100 Rob Schneider free. I like the looks of it so far, it's got a nice old school action vibe to it.

As long as Hollywood is remaking old Schwazenegger and Stalone movie is there anyway we can get a new Demolition Man movie? I need to know how the 3 shells work!

... The Blurst of Times: The Choice

Having my family in town last week provided me with ample opportunities to watch absolute garbage TV shows on networks I've heard of but have never actually watched before (I'm looking at you CBS and CMT). With "..the Blurst of Times" I'll tell you all about whatever horrible abortion of a TV show I watched the night before (or in this case last week).

The Choice might be the single most rip-offiest TV show I've ever seen and it's probably the worst dating show on TV since Studs (and I loved Studs!). The format is simple, it's exactly like the Voice except instead of competing for a record contract contestants are competing for a date with celebrities people who have been on TV before, like the host of Loveline. No not Adam Corolla, the new guy that isn't Adam Corolla.

Casting for The Choice must have been done at a local Hollywood bar. That's the only reason I can think of for the mix of d-list celebrity douchebags (and yes the Jonas Brothers are now d-list) and Tampa 10s fighting for their affections.

On a scale of 1 to The Fifth Wheel hosted by Aisha Tyler, The Choice scores an Elimidate. It's not without it's charms but you definitely feel dumber for having watched it.

The Dark Knight Rises trailer part 3

Here's the 3rd and I'm assuming last full length trailer for The Dark Knight Rises. The first half of the trailer has a lot of stuff we've already seen in the previous trailers and TV spots. However, the second half seems chocked full of new stuff and it looks awesome. I still can't wrap my head around Joseph Gordon-Levitt playing an ordinary cop in this. Look at him sitting on that bench, he looks just like Dick Grayson, I want Nightwing!

. The good news here is that we're only a month away from being able to see this in theaters. The really really bad news is that also means we're only a month away from hearing reboot rumors from DC and Warner Bros.

Return of the Revenge of the Links

Kate Upton in a Patriotic Bikini for GQ. Honestly Buzz feed is sort of burying the lead here, she's also in a wet t-shirt for GQ. That's right Google image search, it's Kate Upton in a Wet T-Shirt. Did I mention the wet T-shirt? (Yes, my wife is away on vacation. Why do you ask?)

Microsoft's Surface Tablet got my attention. This is not bad work from the new Big Blue. Tablets are great and everyone has a lot of fun with them but the idea of building one to be a real tool in and out of the office seems like an instant winner. I'm excited to try out this floppy keyboard thing.

The 10 best original games of E3. If you haven't already, you need to check out the trailers for Deadlight and Watch Dogs. One of the interesting conspiracy theories over E3 was that many of the games Demo'd we're actually next generation console games. I believe it. We knew this console cycle is winding down. Odds are we'll be all x-boxing 720 style in just a year or two, so why wouldn't publishers start previewing some of the new hotness for 2013 and beyond?

The Arbitrary Friday List: Ranking Michelle Tanner's Friends. Good news first. I'm almost caught up enough at work to start blogging again during the day. The bad news is I'm going on vacation soon so things are going to slow back down again. Also Derek was the worst!

Tasty Face by mc chris is the song of my summer

I know, I know, I've been posting a lot of songs lately. Well tough tooties, This zombie themed cover of Call me Maybe by mc chris is amazeballs. If you can't enjoy a song about doing bath salts and eating people's faces, especially one that helps raise money for cancer, than you're the one with the problem not me.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Sorry, I guess for a couple days there I forgot I even had a blog. As an apology here’s a couple “rappers” covering the theme song to The IT Crowd. Man, I love that show. And this cover is pretty good, as long as you ignore the one rapper in the middle who sucks.

If I had to do an impromptu ranking of my favorite british TV shows it would go like this:

Red Dwarf
The IT Crowd
Doctor Who
Top Gear
Ummm Luthor maybe?

I guess this is why I don’t do a whole lot of lists. I don’t really watch a lot of British TV shows, I’ve heard that Sherlock show is really good. Does Downton Abbey count? I don’t really watch that either.

Now that's a sexy green slave girl

This post about Diora Baird maybe being a sexy green slave girl in JJ Abrams Star Trek was really the first post I ever did that made a few rounds on the net. And while that mystery was solved, Rachel Nicols with a bad perm never really satiated the internet's need for a sexy green slave girl on the same scale as Yvonne Craig.

Enter chiptune masters I Fight Dragons and their new video Save World, Get Girl. Their Nintendo 3DS video turned youtube 2d video features sexy green slave girls for at least 10-15 seconds. And if you're wondering if I put this entire post together just to see if I could work some google-fu on the search term "sexy green slave girl" you are totes wrong. I also really really like this song.

this picture of Diora Baird in cowboy boots also completely unrelated to my pageview count.

This Star Wars Home Theater made the kessel run in 12 parsecs

Geeks rejoice, ModernHomeTheater has found what might well be the most epic Star Wars themed home theater in America. Take it away blockquotes...

Designed to appear like the command deck of the Death Star from The Empire Strikes Back, you will find a variety of life sized Star Wars characters in the theater including C-3PO, Boba Fett and Han Solo frozen in carbonite. The entrance to the theater is covered in poster cases from the three original Star Wars movies as well as a poster for The Phantom Menace and the Clone Wars animated series.

Phantom Menace? Ouch. Well I guess nothing really is perfect. Still, I can think of a worse way to blow a couple hundred thousand. My wife can't but I think if she saw the life sized Han Solo in carbonite or used the replica Millenium Falcon com-links she'd change her mind.

She has informed me it would not.

Return of the Silent Jedi

Here's 7 minutes of behind the scenes footage fromt he set of Return of The Jedi. It looks like it was filmed on a camera made in the 1920s, but it's still pretty cool. The set for Jabba's barge is very impressive. It's fun to see how all the cranes and set pieces work, its certainly 1000 times more interesting than watching Hayden Christensen try and emote in a big empty green room.

Ok Far Cry 3, you have my attention

I know E3 is supposed be all like "wooohooo" and I've been all "meh" this week. Well the new trailer for Far Cry 3 just shut my meh hole. I've played Far Cry instincts for about 15 minutes and it never really took, but B swears by the series and this trailer just melted my face so I think I'll have to check it out. I should have Skyrim beat by November. Well maybe not beat, but I should be close. Well maybe not close, but more than halfway.

Ok I think Skyrim will have beat me by November.

Win Ernest Cline's Delorean

Ernest Cline, author of Ready Player One and follower of my tumblr, announced an appropriately geeky contest this week. I could stumble my way through the deets or I could just block quote someone.

[Cline] has hidden an “Easter egg” in the text of both the hardcover and paperback editions ofReady Player One. If readers can find this hidden clue, it will lead them to the first of three increasingly difficult video game challenges. The first person to complete all three of these challenges will win the grand prize, a 1982 DeLorean automobile, complete with a Flux Capacitor! Ernest Cline will be driving this DeLorean Time Machine across the country on his book tour this June, so contestants will have a chance to see the grand prize in person at each of his book signings.

You've got to admit that's pretty awesome. I just finished Clash of Kings today and I was thinking about taking a Game of Thrones break, maybe I'll go ahead and reread Ready Player One. Although if the contest is anything like the one in the book I have less than zero chance of winning. I never figured out how to get past the Grue.

Check out the video announcement below, it really highlights the awesomesauce that is the 82 Delorean.

HIGH CALI-BRA CAT-LING Links

The Machine-Gun Bra is the 3rd craziest thing about the new issue of Tarot. This recap of the latest issue of Tarot is totes amazeballs. Based on the review I might just pick it up on-line. I mean there's no way I can buy a copy at the shop I go to, I don't want to be that guy.

Hands on with the Nintendo Wii U. This is the most interesting article I've read on the Wii U yet. I hate to sound like a naysayer but I'm getting a real Dreamcast vibe from this thing. I'm sure they'll ship a lot of units initially but it's likely to get caught between console generations and fizzle out quickly. Still, it sounds like a cool console, and I really want to play Zelda with this thing.

What is Xbox SmartGlass? It seems the internet is divided into 2 camps over the new Xbox SmartGlass. Either it’s going to revolutionize the way you watch TV or it’s a dismissive wank for a dying console. I’m of both opinions. I get how cool it would be to stare at a map of Westeros while watching Game of Thrones, but I also know how cool it is to just watch and be fully engrossed by Game of Thrones. At a certain point isn’t just watching a movie and enjoying it enough? Do I really need Joss Whedon poping up on my phone telling me how hard it was to shoot this entire scene in a green fish tank?

Shoot Bros 2: Shoot all the Bros

One of the minor announcements coming out of E3 this week is that EA is launching a new subscription service for Battlefield 3 called Battlefield 3: Premium (clever I know). With the success of Call of Duty's Elite service this shouldn't be any sort of big surprise, but it still feels a bit like a slap in the face from a franchise that was supposed to be the anti-COD. When you combined this with the fact that EA is cutting back on it's official servers to cash in on renting customs servers, you might get the impression that EA is just in the business of shaking down gamers.

For 50 bucks a year Battlefield 3 players will get new maps and updates which isn't that bad of a deal I guess. I took a break from Battlefield 3 over Christmas when I got a couple new games and I haven't looked back. Not that I haven't thought about it. I still get the FPS urge every now and then. It's just hard to walk back into a multiplayer game that feels like it's designed to alienate the casual gamer.

Maybe I should get more excited about Halo 4?

Halo 4 is spectacular adequate looking

Straight outta E3, here's 5 minutes of Halo 4. It looks nice. I mean it's more Halo so I guess that's cool. The problem here is that it's just more Halo. At least Reach and ODST offered us a twist on the classic Master Chief kills hordes of aliens. This just looks like more of the same, which at this point in my life I'm not sure I want to pay $59.99 for.

BTW, I know it's not out yet but just copy and paste everything I said here for the Gears of War 4 trailer.

Star Wars: 1313 is a thing

Here's the E3 trailer, plus some gameplay footage, for Star Wars: 1313. I guess this is the new Boba Fett game, you can tell because clearly Boba Fett is nowhere near the trailer. Maybe it's not supposed to have anything to do with Boba Fett. All I know is CT-1313 was a alias Boba Fett used and now there's this new Star Wars game called 1313 and Boba Fett is conspicuously absent. Instead we've got Uncharted in space because you know what my favorite part of Star Wars was? All those parts that had nothing to do with Star Wars.

At least those Nvidia powered graphics look great, right? Right? right..

These Muppets can't keep a straight face

Just in case you never watch the special features of your DVDs (which you should always watch first) here's the extended blooper reel from The Muppets.

Oh those Muppets, they think they're people.

Goal Celebration FX ftw

Next time I score a goal I'm either lighting up an oversized joint or I'm uppercutting a dinosaur.

Unboxing the Atari 800xl

Ever wonder what it was like getting a brand new Atari in 1983? No, and you call yourself a nerd. Oh, you don't call yourself a nerd. Whatever man...

One of the things I find most interesting about this unboxing is the instruction booklet that comes with the Atari. It's a list of basic commands. Not like simple commands, but text commands for Atari Basic. You know, the programming language. How far removed are we from text commands? I'd have an easier time hunting for my dinner than I would using basic.

Skyrim: Dawnguard, the trailer

Here's the trailer for Skyrim's first DLC pack, Dawnguard. Honestly it looks kind of stupid, I mean I'm all for more Skyrim but this jacked up HR Giger looking Vampire looking dude kinda sucks. But hey it looks like they added crossbows, crossbows!

Underpowered Links

The Possible Real Dream of a TV Affected by Gamers. This new MMO game Defiance has gotten a lot of buzz recently. The game is going to have a companion TV show on SyFy that it will influence and be influenced by. It's a real out of the box sort of idea, if the game and show are any good it could be amazing. Of course that's a pretty big if. Kotaku has a real nice run down on the promises and the challenges surrounding this sort of endeavor.

8 Famous Computers with a pathetic amount of power. My first PC was a clone 386 with 4 megs of RAM. Man that thing was a beast, it ran Castle Wolfenstein 3D at 30fps easy. Of course now my printer has more processing power, but in 1992 you couldn't ask for more.

Secret Mountainside Submarine Base Only $17.5 Million. When I was a teen I dreamed of living in all kinds of unconventional homes. 747 fuselage, abandoned missile silo, train caboose.. clearly even then I had read too much Clive Cussler. If I had the money I would buy this submarine base in a heartbeat. 17.5 million, that's a steal. You have any idea how hard it is to get a permit for a submarine dock?

Jack Kirby's My Little Pony. I've always been a been a big fan of ComicsAlliance's Great Comics that never happened features. I mean I would read the snot out of Jack Kirby's My Little Pony. Do I dare dream of a My Little Pony/Devil Dinosaur cross over? Yes, I do dare.