New Star Wars trailer is no Turkey

Hey kids, remember Star Wars? It's back, in pog trailer form. Earlier today the teaser trailer for Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens was released on line. I've only watched it 30-40 times so far. When Lucas sold the rights to Star Wars to Disney and they announced a slew of new movies I really didn't want to get sucked into the rabbit hole, but here I am. Bounce Bounce.

I just love everything about this teaser. The suspenseful nature of it, the X-Wings, Stormtroopers without their helmets, the mother loving Millennium Falcon doing a barrel roll being chased by honest to god Tie Fighters. Don't even get me started on the lightsaber with a hilt... It's going to be a very long 12 months.

Turkey Sized Links

Kirk Cameron Tried To Flood RottenTomatoes With His Followers, Was Quickly Swamped By Trolls I feel like if Kirk Cameron didn't exist the internet would have to create him. The basic story here is that his new movie Saving Christmas is awful. At least that's what the lamestream media would like you to believe. Kirk rallied the troops on facebook t flood RottenTomatoes with positive reviews and he kinda got the opposite. Unless he thinks "difficult to masturbate to" is a positive review. I mean it kinda is, I doubt that's what they were going for.

Not Even Steven Spielberg Is Allowed To Remake ‘The Last Starfighter’. Remember just the other day when I was pontificating over a remake to The Last Starfighter? It turns out there's a very good reason Hollywood hasn't tried to remake it. They can't. This is one of those rare instances where the screenwriter has the controlling rights to a remake and he will not allow it. Good for him.

Mark Cuban made billions from an open internet. Now he wants to kill it. This is pretty much the most american thing ever. Billionaire is against the very thing that helped him earn his billions simply because now that he's a billionaire it's not in his best interest. And to think, Mark Cuban was my third favorite shark.

Craigslist was down: a short interview with the hacker blamed for it. This is a fun story, YTCracker is like a real life Zero Cool from Hackers if Johnny Lee Miller had went on to becoming a DJ and rapper as opposed to a Benedict Cumberbatch impersonator.

4 Reasons 'The Walking Dead' Hates Humans More Than Zombies. David Wong pokes some holes in the basic conceit behind most Zombie stories not just The Walking Dead. The idea that the second a zombie apocalypse hits society will be cast into two different groups, bad ass zombie killers and hapless zombie food.

One of the reasons I really enjoyed World War Z (the book not the horrible movie) was because it took this idea and turned it on it's ear. People with tangible skills like doctors, plumbers, carpenters and electricians became incredibly valuable while lawyers and bankers were left shoveling zombie corpses. Man... now I'm thinking about World War Z. I might have to reread that again.

DC Comics Claims Valencia's New Crest Looks Too Much Like Batman Logo. On the surface this copyright claim by Warner Bros seems ridiculous as Valencia has been playing soccer for over 100 years and have always used a bat in their crest. HOWEVER, this is specifically over their new logo, which looks a whole lot like the Batman Beyond bat symbol (not pictured here) which I assume has also been trademarked or copyrighted or whatever the legalese is.

Don't get me wrong, I think Warner Bros will still lose but I think the case is far less of a laugh that most bloggers are making it out to be.

Jurassic World Trailer will find a way

Apparently the trailer for Jurassic World didn't want to wait until Thanksgiving. Here it is in all it's youtube glory.

I love that the plot here is "fuck it, we made the park anyway". It's like in the Mighty Ducks 2 when coach Bombay was shocked that the players hadn't been practicing during the summer. I wish Senor Spielbergo had actually directed the movie. Even when he's on autopilot he's a fantastic "popcorn" movie director. Still looks good so far. The trailer seems to have just the right amount of throwback scenes and new hotness. I'm excited over the idea that the park is full when everything goes nuts. This summer lets party like it's 1993. I'll bring my Tag Team cassingle.

7 Ways to Compliment Breasts

We've all had that moment where we think someone is talking or waving to us and it turns out they're really talking to the person behind us. This video is just 2 minutes of that and it's hilarious. Even better, if you go over to youtube to watch it some of the comments are gold:

Nice job! As a redditor, I really appreciate a good prank. Especially if it involves beautiful m'ladies such as these. On reddit.com we love playing pranks as well. One of our favorites is taking photos of women in public and publishing them on the internet so others can masturbate to them. Always good for a hearty guffaw. *- M.Freezepeach, redditor, prankster and moderator of /r/creepshots and /r/candidfashionpolice -*

DAE love the reddit armie comments? Am I the only one who likes them? True redditors will understand the memes in my last few sentences 

Redditor here! I focus on my pecs at the gym, so mine are pretty large. People point them out all the time. - Trilby McTip, Redditor, Moderator of /r/Crossfit, Gym Patron

Agatha Susan, Cracking Good Redditor here! Whenever I am out and about, be it to Bingo with Agnes or to Knitting Club with Lesley, no young boys compliment my milk feeding devices! I hope that Berta Lovejoy girl comes to bring these no good punk rockers to justice. She's got such a spring in her step!

Kudos Agatha Susan. You've made my day much brighter.

The Park is Open

I can't believe we live in a world where movie trailers have trailers but here we are. This is the like 4 seconds long teaser to the Jurassic World trailer that will debut this Thursday while the Seahawks whoop up on the Santa Clara 49ers.

I had no idea Chris Pratt was in this, much less Chris Pratt in a vest. I'm buying my tickets today!

Skeletor just wants to sell you a compact SUV

Ever since they stopped selling the Accord wagon I haven't really had much interest in buying a Honda but Skeletor here makes a pretty good pitch. My car doesn't have a back up camera at all. How am I supposed to tell if He-Man is behind me? Check my mirrors like an idiot. Nice try, Orko.

The Last Starfighter: The Modern Trailer

Hooweee, this "new" trailer for The Last Starfighter is a straight punch to the old nostalgia kidney (the most sensitive of all kidneys). I've always felt like The Last Starfighter gets lost when you're talking about classics from the 80s. I know the special effects don't hold up at all, although considering this was CGI from 1984 they're kind of amazing, but the story is so good. I'm kinda surprised no one has tried to remake it. With the technology they have today I bet it wouldn't even cost very much to make. Ride that nostalgia train all the way to the bank, baby. Choo Choo!

Pitch Perfect 2 is a thing with a trailer

Pitch Perfect is one of those movies that was a HUGE hit in the theater and all my friends wouldn't shut up about it and by the time I finally saw it on an HBO free preview weekend I was a bit disappointed. Kinda like Bridesmaids... Still here's a thing I know Ben will be excited about. Enjoy!

WWE 2K15 is Body Slamming my Budget

Sweet Christmas, the launch trailer for WWE 2K15 looks amazing. Cesaro in a motion capture suit? Yes please.

I'm not going to front, I'm pretty jelly right now of my PS5 and Xbox One brothers and sisters right now. I thought a Wii and a PC would cover any video game needs for the next couple years but THE NXT CHAMPIONSHIP IN A VIDEO GAME? That's something I didn't know I wanted until I saw it.

Short Stack of Links

Cinemax Producers Get The Greenlight To Sue An Actress For Reneging On A Nude Scene. How on earth could someone sign up to do a show on Cinemax called Femme Fatales and expect that you're getting out of there fully clothed? Every once in a while Dish Network provides us with a free preview for Cinemax and it can be rather jarring. Cinemax-W will be showing the Avengers or the Hunger Games or something and then Cinemax-E will be showing the Boner Games. If the family hasn't gone to bed you better be quick with the clicker. The other day I was watching something and my son asked me why the people on TV we biting-kissing. That's a weird conversation to have with a 5 year old.

This Wooden All-in-One Neo Geo Arcade System Is an Absolute Work Of Art. Oh man, I want to do something like this so bad. Look at that thing. There was a guy on reddit that took an old arcade cabinet and turned it into an emulating monster and it looked HELLA complicated.

I should look into retiring early. I need more time for projects.

Examining Jim Sterling's Grand Experiment To Create Video Game Journalism Utopia. You probably don't know who Jim Sterling is but he's a video game reviewer that has a decent sized fan base. I used to read a lot of his reviews over on Destructiod. One of the reasons I liked his reviews is because he clearly gave no f's. He would give COD Black Ops a perfect 10 because he actually liked it but then he would give Mario Kart 7 like a 2 because Nintendo don't own him. In a world where even shitty games get 7s or 8s just because they're major releases it was refreshing.

Anyway, he's doing this thing on Patreon where he's asking viewers/readers to effectively pay his salary so he can keep reviewing games independent of any website. It's an interesting idea and one that might have a much larger impact on video game journalism that any group of gamergaters could hope to have.

Marvel is literally covering their asses

Remember a couple months ago when Spider-Woman's butt felt like the biggest story in comic books? Well Marvel has finally decided on a cheeky solution to the controversy. They covered Spider-Woman's ass with the title (pictured above). I guess everyone can go back to complaining about the shit-show the Fantastic Four movie is turning into. Nothing to see here.

Retron 5 Console Review

I want to say that last year I wrote a little blurb about the Retron 5 (or maybe it was the 4) but I never really followed up on it. At first glance a console that plays NES, Famicom, SNES, Super Famicom, Genesis, Mega Drive, Game Boy, Game Boy Color, & Game Boy Advance cartridges with an HDMI output seems like a really f-ing awesome thing. Of course the devil is in the details and some of those details aren't even like details, they're anti-details.. entails? Whatever, this review by Lord Karnage is pretty good. Check it out.

Ted Cruz doesn't understand Net Neutrality... Is terrifying

So a few days ago Ted Cruz made some headlines by claiming that Net Neutrality was Obamacare for the internet because I assume he believes his constituents are all idiots. A few people called him out on talking like an nutjob and so he did what any member of the Senate subcommittee that regulates communications, technology, and the Internet would do. He posted this video on youtube that demonstrates very accurately how deep he is in Verizon and Comcast's pockets.

It boggles my mind that as a nation we put people as woefully misinformed as Ted Cruz is in charge of anything more important than an Arby's morning shift. And that's not just a Republican thing, there's a local "socialist" politician that once said the Boeing union workers should take over the manufacturing plants and start building mass transit instead of instruments of war. Because 787s be dropping bombs in Ferguson Missouri. I'm moving to Canada. No way they elect morons up there.

Gymkhana 7

Ever wanted to see a professional rally car driver hoon around LA in a 900hp 1965 Ford Mustang? Well then it's Christmas in November... Seriously one of our neighbors already has his lights out. I thought there was a war on Christmas. How come they were playing holiday music at the mall already?

Jake Murray really wants to be on American Ninja Warrior

This guys submission video for the next season of American Ninja Warrior is pretty awesome. I hope he makes it. I also hope he brings the guy with the violin, really class up the show.

Captain Links

Meet Captain Marvel: Fighter Pilot, Feminist and Marvel’s Big Gamble. Hey Time Magazine did a big online article all about Captain Marvel. Hooray! Also Time Magazine has the worst looking website. Ugh.

The article itself is pretty good and gives you lots of info on Captain Marvel and the creators behind the character, I just wish it didn't label the project "Marvel's Big Gamble". Seriously, they also announced a Black Panther movie and an Inhuman's movie and the one starting a woman is the gamble? Just to key you in the Inhumans are a raced of superpowered beings that live on the moon. Their leader can't talk without blowing up a planet, their Queen Medusa has "hair power" and they get around with the help of a giant teleporting dog. Yeah, Captain Marvel is the gamble. No institutionalized sexism or anything to see here...

Captain Marvel: 8 Actresses We'd Cast. Speaking of Captain Marvel, lets fire up the speculatron as to who will nab the lead role. The 8 actresses Geekytyrant throws out are a good start although there's heavy rumor that Jessica Chastain may have already got the part. I'm throwing my vote for Emily Blunt. I know as an honorary Carol Corps member it's supposed to be Katee Sackhoff or nothing but I kinda think there are better actresses for the part (sorry Corps).

British swimsuit calendar shot on Utah National Guard base 'without proper authorization' sparks investigation. Someone's getting fired... Seriously, how can a seemingly sane person that's worked for years in the military and raised up the ranks high enough to be in charge of a National Guard base decide "Sure, why wouldn't we let some company come here and shoot a sexy calendar?" USA! USA! USA!

Margot Robbie Reportedly Cast As Harley Quinn In Suicide Squad. I haven't seen Wolf of Wall Street but I hear Margot Robbie steals the show (possibly due to lack of wardrobe). She's definitely not unattractive, interesting to see if she can get that right mix of crazy, tough and vulnerable that makes Harley Quinn so beloved.

Wait, they're making a Suicide Squad movie? What the hell, when did that happen?

Salmon Cannon

I'm going to go ahead and post this video from Last Week Tonight With John Oliver sight unseen. I have it on good authority from a friend that it's hilarious and with a name like Salmon Cannon I feel like I can take his word for it.

Too Many Cooks

This new show from Adult Swim, Too Many Cooks, seems pretty interesting. The cast is a little small for me and would it kill them to throw in a couple unexpected twists? Oh well, it's still light years ahead of anything NBC is doing.

3.5 minutes of Kramer stealing Jerry's Food

Why don't they call it round-tine?

Skeletor's Best Insults

Here's a supercut of Skeletor's best insults from He-Man: Masters of the Universe. Skeletor really seems like he's filled with a lot of rage. He should see someone about that.

Here's a fun fact for you. He-Man never punches or hits anyone with his sword in Masters of the Universe. The show came out after the FCC loosened some regulations on kids cartoons and the creators were worried that if the show was too violent it would get pulled. So He-Man cuts things like rocks and trees with his sword but whenever he has to fight a bad guy he wrestles them and throws them into something. No punches thrown.

Hardcore: The totally not a porno trailer

Here's a trailer for Ilya Naishuller's homage to the first person shooter, Hardcore. You might remember that last year he did a short 4 minute movie called "Bad Motherfucker" that went viral. Looks like this virus paid off and he was able to parlay that into a full length film. He's still looking for cash to do all the editing and special effects. Check out his IndieGoGo page if that's your sort of thing.

I can't imagine spending $12 to see something like this in the theater but I'd gladly sit through a few adds to watch it on youtube or vimeo, so Good Luck guy whose name I can't even come close to pronouncing.

Don't forget to Vote

Danger Island

... and here's the first 15 minutes of Danger Island. If you're interested in watching the rest I believe I still have it on VHS. You bring the popcorn I'll provide the Coors.

Who ya gonna Call?

Here's a shot for shot remake of the original Ghostbusters trailer done by a group of middle schoolers. It's infinitely better than the Return to Danger Island mini-movie I tried to make while in high school. Me and like a dozen guys filmed the credits and spent the rest of day playing Nintendo. It's probably better off we never finished it. We had too many Joe Laras and not enough Kathy Irelands.

Awkward Interviews with Cosplay Girls

I know this video is old and seemingly random but it's still pretty funny so I thought I'd share. Basically Greg, I think his name is Greg, with Mediocre films has responded to criticisms that his cosplay interviews are creep by making them as awkward as possible.

The extra layer of comedy here is that his regular interviews can be a little creepy and disrespectful but that's kind of the joke. Yeah, it doesn't exactly enforce the best gender stereotypes but none of the participants ever seems to be upset about it. Sometimes people need to relax a bit. Or maybe they don't I don't know anymore. It's 7 in the morning on a Saturday and I have to go to work (thanks Obama), I'm barely awake right now.