Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap - Launch trailer

Wonder Boy III: The Dragon's Trap was a game released way way back in the late 80s for the Sega Master system. From everything I've heard and read about it, it was one of the best games for the Master System but since it was for the Master System pretty much no one has ever heard of it.

Well some crazy genius decided to dust off the old Sega IP for 2017 and they just released a new updated version of the game for all the new shiny systems (except PC, which doesn't ship until June). It looks really fun. I've been playing a lot of Castle Crashers and Battleblock Theater lately so these kinds of updated 2-d side scrolling fight em up games is right up my alley. I can't wait to check this one out.

Deserved Links

A Sexist Seahawks Fan Got What He Deserved After Heckling The Bills’ Female Coach. Some guy at the Seahawks game last night got caught on camera calling the Bills Female Assistant Coach a waitress and asked her to get him a Pepsi. This just supports my theory, all Pepsi drinkers are awful people.

Brazil’s getting a new Sega Genesis that looks just like the old one. This is pretty cool, who knew the love for the Genesis was so strong in Brazil. Hopefully a couple of these will make their way to the states. Those Genesis retro systems you can find at Walmart or Target now are just half assed emulators shoved in a retro looking plastic case. This new/old unit with it's ability to load old carts and roms seems pretty incredible. Maybe not $120 incredible but like $50 or $60 incredible.

Toblerone Swiss chocolate maker shrinks bars, changes shape to keep prices down. I had no idea Toblerone's were still a thing. I don't think I've ever seen them at a store that wasn't in an airport. Maybe a mall kiosk.

Colossal Links

Microsoft Punishes Gears of War Leakers. Welp here's something that's a bit scary. A few guys that were testing early betas of the new Gears of War leaked some video onto the webs. Microsoft in turn suspended their Xbox Live accounts AND bricked their Xbox Ones. Now, they signed a big old non disclosure agreement thing so they were very much in the wrong but I would suspect no one really thought Big Redmond would go around nerfing Xbones anytime someone broke the UELA.

Sega Saturn: how one decision destroyed PlayStation's greatest rival The more articles I read on Sega's glory days the more I'm convinced they lucked their way into the Genesis. Also I totes want a Sega Saturn. I've heard for 2d gaming it's far superior to the PS1.

Brazil's World Cup Stadiums Were A Colossal Waste Of Money. Hey Qatar, here's a look into your future.

Harry Shearer's 10 best Simpsons characters in clips. Just cancel the show already. The fact that they're going to go forward with fake Mr Burns and Ned Flanders just goes to show what a creative dump hole The Simpsons has become. This has Coy and Vance Duke written all over it.

Sega vs Nintendo: Random Things You Should Know

I bookmarked this list of Random Things You Should Know about the Sega vs Nintendo feud a few weeks ago and now I completely forgot what's on it. I guess it's good, past me hasn't steered me wrong yet. Except when he bought that used Ford Probe... stupid past me.

Sega Really Knew How to Throw a Party

Here's the Sega sizzle real for the big CES show from 1994. It's the craziest most full on 90s, epileptic seizury thing I've ever seen. Honestly, I think it's a miracle Sega didn't go out of business sooner. Welcome to the next living room indeed.

Hey Look, they remade Night Trap

Ok, so maybe Until Dawn isn't an exact remake of Night Trap but don't tell me it's not a modern day version of that sega CD "classic". In case you've forgotten Night Trap was one of those choose your own adventure style of games utilizing state of the art full motion video that were popular with the advent of the CD-Rom. The gameplay had you trying to save a group of girls at a slumber party from a hacker slasher bad guy that turned out to be a group of vampires. Like most FMV games you were reduced to making a choice in a menu and then watching the video unfold based on your choice.

Which is pretty much what this Until Dawn game is except instead of FMV they've just motion capped Hayden Panettierre in a towel. I don't know, call me crazy but the controls to a game are less complicated than Candy Crush I'm not 100% sure you've actually created a video game. Maybe a Blu Ray with extra special features?

Bonus Night Trap walk through:

Can you believe that at one time this was considered the most vile thing in video games. There were Senate hearings and everything. Man the 90s were crazy.

Retron 5 Console Review

I want to say that last year I wrote a little blurb about the Retron 5 (or maybe it was the 4) but I never really followed up on it. At first glance a console that plays NES, Famicom, SNES, Super Famicom, Genesis, Mega Drive, Game Boy, Game Boy Color, & Game Boy Advance cartridges with an HDMI output seems like a really f-ing awesome thing. Of course the devil is in the details and some of those details aren't even like details, they're anti-details.. entails? Whatever, this review by Lord Karnage is pretty good. Check it out.

Remember When

Forgotten Media: Cancelled Video Game Consoles

I'm just full of youtube videos lately, aren't I? This one is a little rough in presentation, the guy doing the voice over work uses some questionable pronunciation and is a bit dull. However, if you can get past that I think the list is really interesting. I kind of miss the days when some engineer at Atari would coke-dream up weird system and they'd actually try and build it. Wireless controllers with giant metal antennas? Awesome.

Also I love that there was a Sega system that was canceled because the Saturn was on the horizon. lolSega.

Week Links

"WE F*ING SUCK SO FAR": A Sorority Girl Lashes Out At Her Sisters. If you've been on the internet at all in the last 24 hours you've probably already seen this e-mail. John Stewart even referenced it on last night's Daily Show. It's an epic tear down of a sorority from one of it's sisters for their behavior during greek week. It confirms my believe that people who were in Sororities and Fraternities are weird and not to be trusted.

The Real Sega Pluto. You've got to give it to Sega in the 90s, they didn't fail for lack of trying. The Pluto was a system that was supposed to come out after the Saturn but before the Dreamcast. This prototype is kind of interesting, it looks like it's pretty much just a Sega Saturn plus an expansion port and of all things a network card for online play.

Comic Book Keyboard. You had me at Comic Book Keyboard, you lost me at MacBook Pro.

How different was the unaired pilot of Game of Thrones? If you're not interested in cunt punting and consoles that never saw the light of day maybe I can interest you in a breakdown of the original pilot for Game of Thrones shot in 2009.