Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Miss Links

Bikini Coffee Shacks Full Of Hookers. WHAT? I'm shocked, shocked I tell ya. I can't believe that these baristas would offer sexual favors in exchange for tips. True story time: I drive by one of these sexy espresso stands every day on my way to work. They have a sign out that has whatever the day's theme is like bondage or school girl. The other day it said wet t-shirt and I saw one of the customers spraying a girl in a white t-shirt with a water bottle after he got his coffee.

It was the weirdest thing ever. Not sexy at all. Who decides on their way to work they really need a grande white chocolate mocha and to spray down some titties? Maybe I'm just a prude. I've been to Hooters twice and both times I've felt hella uncomfortable. When I ogle women I don't want them to know I'm ogling them.

... wait a minute that sounds a thousand times worse.

5 More pictures from the Set of Star Wars Episode VII. Not gonna lie to you. My pants got just a little bit tighter after looking at these pictures of various spacecraft from the set of Episode VII. I know I'm just setting myself up for disappointment but I am both pumped and jacked to take my son to see a new Star Wars movie in the theater. Even if it's complete crap I know he's really going to love it. You have no idea how many times he's made me watch Episode I.

Mikal kHill - The Snuggle is REAL. Mikal kHill's new album The Snuggle is REAL was released yesterday. I've only gotten the chance to listen to it a couple times in the car but so far what I've heard is FANTASTIC. If you were big into underground hip hop from the late 90s this is the nerdcore album for you.

Conservative Christian Rewrites Harry Potter So Her Kids Won’t Turn Into Witches. Holy shit... You really have to read this. Hogwarts is a school for prayer and miracles, Obama is Voldemort, Slythrins are all Catholics, only silly Hufflepuffs believe women should have careers, It's all quite amazing. If someone was trying to write a parody of what they think a tea party approved conservative Christian Harry Potter would be like, it would be this book.

Far be it for me to tell you how to raise your children but if you really think the Harry Potter books are going to push your children into witchcraft your kids are in for a rough time. Or maybe you live in the south. In that case sharpen those pitchforks and pass the ammo.

Miss America Was Kicked Out of Her Sorority for Abusive Hazing. Sweet Christmas, the rumored hazing Miss New York has been accused of is horrible and totally hot. At least it is until you realize it's kind of rape. There's your lead. Miss America is probably a rapist. USA USA USA!

Also this might be a good time to point out John Oliver's amazing takedown of the Miss America Pageant. If you missed it earlier this week you should check it out. Big ups to HBO for putting the best parts of Last Week Tonight on Youtube for free.




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