Game Crush is your hook up. Your sad, lonely, nerdy hook up.

if you thought geek squad charged to much..
I'm pretty sure I blogged about this story when it first hit, but when you crank out as much awesomeness as I do it's easy to lose track.

GameCrush is a new on-line gaming service where sweaty nerds everywhere can pay hot chicks to curb stomp them in Gears of War 2. I know it sounds ridiculous but you ever played Halo online? I'd consider paying extra just to play without all the racist 12 years olds much less with "cute" girls.

Six-minute sessions involve real face-to-face time over webcam with the girl over a casual game of checkers, pool or Battleship. Those looking for more hardcore action can game time over Xbox Live and PlayStation Network.

GameCrush has created four zones to help define the type of interaction between Players and PlayDates (the girls). These zones include:

* The Arcade - Fun is the name of the game. Nice and chill.
* The Arena - For serious gamers. Butt-kickings handed out left and right.
* The Academy - Learn tips and tricks from experienced PlayDates.
* The Edge - Not for the faint of heart. This could get interesting.

TomsHardware.com

You know what's totally sad. I also think I would pay to play in the Academy zone. I've played Modern Warfare 2 on-line for about 20 minutes and I racked up all of one kill.. and I think that guy was in the bathroom at the time.

This Gigantic Robot Kills

This morning I was very close to posting this video of Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon rapping but instead I went with the new MC Lars video for This Gigantic Robot Kills. I stand by my decision.

American Idol is screwed

Earlier this week It was revealed that Nicole Scherzinger would join Cheryl Cole and Simon Cowell as the hosts of The X Factor. The show that's just like American Idol and will more than likely end up replacing American Idol just as it did in England when it replaced it's predecessor Pop Idol.

Wait a minute? Didn't American Idol announce it's new All-star judges just last week? Ummm yeah about that... Now I like Aerosmith as much as the next guy (as long as the next guy and I both think they should have died in a bus accident in 1982) and J-Lo could be spectacularly bad in a Paula Abdul sort of way, but come on. I mean come on. Here's Cheryl Cole and Nicole Scherzinger.


And here's Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez.


Again Cheryl Cole and Nicole Scherzinger.


And again Stev... no wait, here's more Cheryl and Nicole


See ya later American Idol. We'll always have Jordin Sparks.

George Lucas will be raping your childhood again

like this but with more pew pew
So George Lucas has decided to release all 5 Star Wars films (attack of the clones doesn't count) in glorious 3-d. It's one of those news stories that's not really news since everyone knew it was coming. Kinda like "peace talks in the middle east break down". I mean you know it's going to happen eventually but when it actually does you're still really sad.

Anyway, lets just get this over with Fox News:

George Lucas plans to rerelease the entire Star Wars saga in 3D starting in 2012. First up: Episode 1: The Phantom Menace.

According to a report in industry newspaper The Hollywood Reporter, Lucas has held off on releasing 3D versions of the films until there were enough screens available to make Star Wars 3D a sizeable event.

Oh thank goodness. For a minute there I was worried that this wasn't an artistic decision but instead just some sort of cash grab. Now that I know this will be an "event" it sounds like a great idea.

Lucas purportedly is lining up the theatrical rereleases as a lead-in to the ultimate home-viewing experience. Beyond that, the property would launch to other 3D media.

What the F does that mean? Other 3d media? Are there 3d newspapers out there and no one is telling me about them? Damn it Fox News, talk about burying the lead.

I keep hearing good things about this Scientology stuff

So if you don't hang out in the deep dark corners of the internet you're probably not that familiar with "anonymous", don't worry ignorance is bliss. Of course what's more blissier (it's a word) are these awesome pictures of anonymous protesting Scientology.








Check out The 25 best scientology protest signs here.

Tumblr Tuesday

I've decided I need more reoccurring tropes in my blog. Zombies and Megan Fox's toe thumbs are only going to get you so far. With that in mind welcome to Tumblr Tuesday, where every Tuesday we'll highlight a new and fabulous tumblr blog.

This week it's lolslater.

taking legal advise from screech seems ill advised
I can't believe there was a time in my life when I thought Saved by the Bell was an actual TV show. Now I realize it was just a 30 minute commercial for hair clips and ray bans. Check back in next Tuesday when we look at another awesome tumblr blog.

The Walking Dead Opening Credits

Ok so this isn't the real opening credits for The Walking Dead, but it should be. Super fanDaniel Kanemoto made this from scanned pages of the comic and it's just amazing. If AMC was smart they'd steal this and then just show up at the dudes house with a suitcase full of cash. That's how these things work right?

Finally, an iPod I would buy

From all reports you have to have hands the size of a premature chinese baby (not the babies hands, but the actual baby) to operate the new iPod nano, rendering it a pretty useless MP3 player. However, if you shoehorn one of those babies (the ipod nano not the premature chinese baby previously mentioned) into a sega VMU unit you're left with pretty much the greatest invention know to man.

For whatever reason this dreamcast talk really makes me want to go play Shenmue, I guess I'll see you in 3 months.

Late Night Links

Segway Owner dies on Segway. No not the owner of A segway, the owner of Segway the company. I've got to imagine this is probably how he wanted to die.


Another Batman porn parody. It's nice how competing porn companies are giving us a sneak peak at a world where DC loses the publishing rights to Superman. It's totally meta.. with boobs.


The sexiest evil twins of all time. I once dated a girl with a pretty sexy pair of "evil twins"... just kidding, I never dated a girl.

Big Tits Zombie is a real thing

So here's the UK trailer for Takao Nakano's adaptation of Rei Mikamoto's cult manga Kyonyo Dragon. Which somehow translates to "Big Tits Zombie". I could go all into the description and the cast, but do you really need to know more than "Big Tits Zombie"?


yeah I didn't think so.

Han Solo

Here's the newest fan video from the newest single from mc chris, Han Solo. It's pretty awesome.

You'll believe a Corgi can fly

Ok, this corgi video is WAY better than the last one I posted. thank you internets.

Requiem for a Corgi

Before we return to our normally scheduled blogging schedule tomorrow here's a corgi swimming. In slow motion. Set to the music from Requiem for a Dream. You're welcome.

Dj Kitty, Just because

Sorry no tumblr tuesday this week, my wife had to have minor wrist surgery today and Dj Kitty is all you're getting (mostly because I wrote this on Monday).

This Ken Block guy drives well.

Here's part two of Ken Block's Gymkhana part three. Confusing? Yes? Awesome? You better believe it.

Oh yeah, the guy on the segway has balls of steel.

Star Blazers movie is now Blazier

Honestly I could care less if this Star Blazers trailer is almost identical to the last Star Blazers I posted a few months ago. This one has 2 seconds of the wave motion gun. 2 seconds! I think I could could just watch those in a loop over and over until my brain turned to mush.

Night of the Living Trekkies; The Book; The Trailer

Something most people don't know about me is that I read quite a bit. Actual books too, not just comics. Here's the deal though, you ever been to a book store? There's literally like a 100 books out there. How am I supposed to decide what to read? That's where the book trailer comes in. Frankly these days if a book doesn't have a web trailer I'm not interested. Yeah I'm looking your way Bradbury.

Now you can smell like Cthulhu

If you don't know why Cthulhu hawking great old spice is funny you really have no one but yourself to blame. Go read a book.

Clinton Portis will sex Ines Sainz

Much like her butt, the Ines Sainz story is one that just won't quit. If you didn't check out the link I posted earlier in the week and you're been living in a sports blog free cave, here's the story thus far. Ines Sainz beloved sports reporter for Mexican television made nationwide headlines when she accused the Jets of some unprofessional behavior in the locker room after practice last week. Here's what she said.

"I have similar reactions in a different kind of sports. But, never, the vocabulary never so rude,"

She also said that during practice she felt like players were throwing footballs in her direction to get her attention.


Is it really a big story? Probably not, I mean it doesn't sound like guys were waving their dongs at her or anything. She seemed to handle the situation very professionally, and honestly if this didn't happen in New York with the Rex Ryan and the Jets it probably wouldn't have become a national story.


Of course that's before Clinton Portis/Sheriff Gonna Getcha chimed in.

"You know man, I think you put women reporters in the locker room in positions to see guys walking around naked, and you sit in the locker room with 53 guys, and all of the sudden you see a nice woman in the locker room, I think men are gonna tend to turn and look and want to say something to that woman. For the woman, I think they make it so much that you can't interact and you can't be involved with athletes, you can't talk to these guys, you can't interact with these guys.

Whoa Clinton, be careful what you say here.

"And I mean, you put a woman and you give her a choice of 53 athletes, somebody got to be appealing to her. You know, somebody got to spark her interest, or she's gonna want somebody. I don't know what kind of woman won't, if you get to go and look at 53 men's packages. And you're just sitting here, saying 'Oh, none of this is attractive to me.' I know you're doing a job, but at the same time, the same way I'm gonna cut my eye if I see somebody worth talking to, I'm sure they do the same thing."

I take it back apparently players are waving their dongs at the female reporters. But it's ok, the law of averages say they'll eventually see a dong they like. Seriously, it even happens in soccer. You tell me that Landon isn't about to whip it out.


Anyway something tells me that Clinton Portis is going to have to do some grade A back-tracking here. I'm pretty sure the NFL isn't going to like the idea that it's players think all female reporters just need some man meat.

"I was wrong to make the comments I did, and I apologize," Portis said in a statement released by the team. "I respect the job that all reporters do. It is a tough job and we all have to work and act in a professional manner. I understand and support the team on these issues"

Well that doesn't sound at all like it was written by the Washington Redskins PR department. These kinds of straight from the heart apologies can really change your mind about someone.


And I guess it's settled, now we should be able to put all this behind... hold on. Arizona Cardinal Darnell Docket would like to say something.

"All I can do is LOL at the jets Female Reporter! She walks into a locker room full of men and think some one not gonna say nothing LMFAO," he said. "I don't know what was said to her or whatever but u just have to know u going into a TEAM LOCKEROOM, and if its that serious WOMEN STAY OUT!"

hmmm, that didn't seem to go so well. Maybe what we need is a serious sit down interview with Ines Sainz. I mean so far all she is is a pretty blonde in tight jeans. Once the American public is really able to put a face and personality with those tight jeans we can all see she is just a human being trying to do her job.

Anyone other than Fox News up to the challenge? No? Ok, take it away creepy guy who can't stop staring at boobies.

Tumblr Tuesday

I've decided I need more reoccurring tropes in my blog. Zombies and Megan Fox's toe thumbs are only going to get you so far. With that in mind welcome to Tumblr Tuesday, where every Tuesday we'll highlight a new and fabulous tumblr blog.

This week it's Look at this Frakking Geekster.

R2 is totally hiding his clone boner
I'd say a good quarter of all the cosplay pictures I use come from this tumblr page. The other three quarters come from your mama (burn!). Check back in next Tuesday when we look at another awesome tumblr blog.

Spoiler Alert

Here's the video for MC Frontalot's new single Spoiler Alert. Honestly, It's not the greatest song in the world. The chorus is kinda getting on my nerves and the rhymes aren't as cleverly constructed as I'd expect from Frontalot. But the video does feature bears in jetpacks soo I kinda felt obligated to post it.

Reach for the Links

The history of headshots. I'm not saying I'm better at Halo than all my friends, but clearly I'm better at Halo than all my friends. Seriously Loren, once I get my hands on Halo Reach you're going to be on the business end of a lot of headshots.

Spider-Man the Musical really is happening. The Spider-Man musical literally sounds as awful as you think it would... I'm way to proud of that joke.

Hot reporter upset about being hot. Wait a minute. Are you telling me that professional athletes have a tendency to objectify women? Well I never...

Protect your Unicorn from Dolph Lundgren

Yeah I know I haven't been posting a whole lot this week. Some friends decided it would be awesome to get my wife tipsy and take her roller skating. 2 broken bones in her wrist later and my free time has been shot to hell. However, the important thing here is that Dolph Lundgren is going to fight a unicorn. No wait the important thing is that he's going to lose a fight to a unicorn, just the way God intended.

Appalacian ghost towns

For whatever reason I find abandoned towns fascinating. Maybe it's because I think to much about the upcoming zombie-robot apocalypse and really when you think about it, a ghost town is just a town that's ahead of the apocalyptic curve. Keep that in mind when you're wondering why on earth I posted this.

That's a lot of Legos

Here's some Swedish guys recreating Nintendo games with legos. It's pretty awesome, I mean not as awesome as when I got the high score on Karate Champ that one time on the field trip to Washington DC, but close. Maybe next time Sweden.

Tumblr Tuesday

I've decided I need more reoccuring tropes in my blog. Zombies and Megan Fox's toe thumbs are only going to get you so far. With that in mind welcome to Tumblr Tuesday, where every tuesday we'll highlight a new and fabulous tumblr blog.

This week it's F*ck Yeah Strutting Leo


I haven't even seen Inception yet but this is hilarious. Check back in next tuesday when we look at another awesome tumblr blog.

That's not a red card

Seriously, doesn't the other team have to give the person throwing the ball in some space?

Thanks for ruining Infographics

Engage!

Here's a video showing the evolution of the jump to Warp speed. It's pretty rad and it reminds me that I never did get to sit down and watch an assload of Star Trek like I wanted to a couple weekends ago. Maybe I can squeeze some in this Labor Day. Oh wait.. the Jerry Lewis telethon is on... dammnit!

Links, 'cause I'm busy

Xbox Live Subscription Fee Raised. How about Microsoft refund me the cost of my second Xbox? Then we can talk about paying more for Xbox Live.


Freshmen Ferret First Year Follies. People who keep ferret's as pets weird me out.


Stay Puft caffinated marshmallows are real. If these weren't like a dollar a marshamallow I would be shoveling them in my mouth chubby bunny style every morning.

Today is the stupidest day ever (9-02-10)

nice bikini Andrea
So some math genius out there realized that if you bastardize traditional date formats today is 90210 day (9-02-10). Bill Simmons is even doing a special 90210 day podcast (if this alone isn't reason enough to never read Bill Simmons I don't know what is). It seemed like every blog I went to this morning had some stupid quip about 90210. Oh crap, I just realized I'm totally perpetuating this cycle of stupidity.

I swear this whole thing is like a 4-chan meme gone horribly off the rails. I really have nothing else to say about this other than Jason Priestley now has a ridiculous beard.

see you in another 100 years Jason

when Pron isn't Pron

If this isn't the weirdest thing ever I don't know what is. Some Mormon guy on some bodybuilding forum (it's always bodybuilding forums, isn't it?) has invented a creative way of turning an innocuous bikini pic into porn. In his own words..

"Being Mormon, I can't look at porn or nudity. So I have to get creative. That's why I invented "bubbling". Hard to explain so just scroll down:"

Yes just scroll down indeed.





Now odds are this guy aint no Mormon. I'm guessing he spends his Sundays worshiping at the temple of 4chan. But this was just way to weird not to share