Jimmy Fallon Went to Bayside

Here's the Save By the Bell skit Jimmy Fallon did last night that you've probably seen on your facebook feed like a thousand times this morning. It's not really the funniest thing in the world, it's more like here's a reference to something you know now laugh monkey. Still, it's impressive how little any of these people have aged (except for the guy that ate Mr Belding). They must have put something in the water at Bayside, like antioxidants and botox.

... The Blurst of Times: 12 Dates of Christmas

This years relatively slow Holiday season has provided me with ample opportunities to explore the depths of Lifetime and the Hallmark Channel's Holiday programing. With "..the Blurst of Times" I'll tell you all about whichever horrible made for TV movie I watched the night before.

12 Dates of Christmas is totes a Christmas rip-off of Groundhog Day. There's no two ways about it. Amy Smart's character is knocked out by some secret Christmas magic and spends the rest of the movie repeating the day before Christmas. That is until she finds true love in Mark Paul Gosselaar. Sorry I spoiled the ending for you.. With that that being said, it's a really good Christmas rip-off of Groundhog Day.

Frankly, and I know this sounds stupid, Mark Paul Gosselaar is kind of a good actor, so is Amy Smart. Arguably, they're both better than a cheeseball made for TV movie by on the ABCFamily channel. I guess their career loss is our Christmas gain. Like I said, it's a Groundhog Day rip-off. The first half of the movie Amy Smart spends the day before Christmas repeatedly attempting to break up her old boyfriend with his current girlfriend. She also has to deal with the inconvenience of a blind date with Gosselaar. Somewhere along the line she figures out it's not her ex-boyfriend she really misses, she's just lonely. Enter the dreamboat formerly known as Zack Morris.

Compared to last year's Christmas movie review, Help for the Holidays, 12 Dates of Christmas scores two thumbs way way up. I can certainly think of worse ways to spend the Holiday season, like hanging out with your family.. yuck.

Screech Fight!

Here's a trailer for the Lifetime network's sure to be awful TV movie The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell. Have you watched an episode of Saved by the Bell lately? Sweet Christmas it's worse than I remember. Every character is a total shitheel and the "jokes" feel like they were written by The Simpson's DJ 3000. Just a terrible, terrible show.

Clickbait Links

NFL Cheerleading Is A Scam: A Former Ravens Cheerleader Tells All. Last week I ran a story about a Raiderette suing the Oakland Raiders over back pay and abusive working conditions. Here's some anonymous confirmation from a former Raven's cheerleader that everything you heard was correct... and quite frankly a bit worse.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. It does sound like cheerleaders are really getting the short end of the spirit stick but whose fault is it? If one quits there's a hundred more girls just looking to take their place. Maybe stories like this will put a bit more pressure on football teams to treat their cheer squads a bit better. also, GO HAWKS!

Empire's X-Men: Days of Future Past Covers. Empire Magazine which I know exclusively for being the magazine that always has the first on set pictures of nerdy movies but they get published on line so why would I buy a magazine like some sucker from 1992? has a bunch covers featuring the characters of X-Men: Days of Future Past. I went with Warpath who is one of my favorite X-Men and is sure to get all of 3 minutes of screen time. Hopefully whilst gutting someone with his cool vibranium knives.

A Guide To The Great American Pastime Of Celebrities Dressing As Princess Leia. Call me crazy but I've been so desensitized to Slave Leia that I actually think the long white dress from the movie poster Leia is like a thousand times hotter than Slave Leia. Heck, these days I'll take Hoth Leia over Slave Leia. As long as it's not Cloud City Leia... a man has to have standards.

Tiffany Amber-Thiessen turned 40.

Tiffany Amber-Theissen turned 40 last week and she still looks pretty fantastic. In related news how is it that Tiffany Amber-Theissen is only 2.5 years older than I am? I remember watching Saved by the Bell Saturday mornings and they all seemed WAY older than I was. Next thing you'll tell me is that Luke Perry is still in his 40s. (checks Wikipedia) damn it.

Sunday Linkaroo

Shooting Survivor returns to theater to see the rest of the movie. Holy crap, this kid has some stones. I once had a roman candle blow up in my hand, and I'm still nervous around fireworks. I felt weird about seeing the movie this weekend, I can't imagine what it took to go back into a theater after actually being a part of the shooting.

5 Things Modern Kids don't understand about being a nerd. This times a billion. There's just no comparison to being a nerd in the 80s to being a "nerd" today. I can't tell you the number of times I had my pocket protector broken just because I could program in basic and liked to read comics. Ok, maybe that never happened but still. It's the principle of the matter, the principle!

Michelle Jenneke: Gorgeous Hurdler, sudden internet sensation. This story combines a ton of things I love. Track and Field, ladies, the internet... ok so that's only three. Still, depending on how deep you surf the web you might have seen something about dancing hurdler Michelle Jenneke, why not check out the post at With Leather that started it all (more or less).

Saved by the Bell's 20 Greatest Sports moments. I loved the episodes of Saved by the Bell when they tried to make Bayside look like a real school. The basketball gym with 8 foot hoops. The auto shop that had maybe 3 tools in it. The prom for 10 kids.

This list of 20 greatest sports moments really highlights some of those awful sets, plus it's a good examination of how Zack Morris is a horrible horrible person.

Inappropriate Woo'ing

Here's a simple yet ingenious idea. Take a bunch of overly dramatic clips from saved by the bell and insert the fake Woooooo the audience would do every time two characters kissed.

In related news Mr. Belding was in the front row of the audience on WWE Raw last night. It was amazing.

Tumblr Tuesday

I've decided I need more reoccurring tropes in my blog. Zombies and Megan Fox's toe thumbs are only going to get you so far. With that in mind welcome to Tumblr Tuesday, where every Tuesday we'll highlight a new and fabulous tumblr blog.

This week it's lolslater.

taking legal advise from screech seems ill advised
I can't believe there was a time in my life when I thought Saved by the Bell was an actual TV show. Now I realize it was just a 30 minute commercial for hair clips and ray bans. Check back in next Tuesday when we look at another awesome tumblr blog.

Zach Morris still has it

Do I really have to start watching Late Night with Jimmy "what happened to my hairline?" Fallon? Last night he had Mark-Paul Gosselaar appear in character as Zach Morris in all his acid washed giant cell phone glory and from all accounts it was pretty sweet, or rad, or maybe boss. Yeah, let's go with boss.

If you can get the nbc video player below to work, more power to you. heaven forbid NBC lose out on ad revenue by using youtube when they can just have a player that doesn't work at all. Those are the kinda winning decisions that have catapulted them straight to the bottom of the ratings!

AC Slater wants you to check out his hot links

Like Major League Baseball in the 1990s, two thirds of all players on Saved by the Bell were taking steroids. It's a fact.

The 10 Most Shafted Characters from Lost (topless robot)

Colour me Badd on '90210' for the win (warming glow)

Ten Worst Car Commercials Of All Time (jalopnik)

100 (Really) Creative Business Cards (webdesignerdepot)

Aziz Ansari is at war with Imax (aziz is bored)