Friday, January 8, 2016

... The Blurst of Times: Santa's Little Helper

In what has become a bit of an annual tradition, the relatively slow Holiday season has provided me with ample opportunities to explore the depths of Lifetime and the Hallmark Channel's Holiday programing. With "..the Blurst of Times" I'll tell you all about whichever horrible made for TV movie I watched the night before (or in the case like 2 weeks ago).

Santa's Little Helper staring The Miz, and AnnaLyne McCord is definitely a Christmas movie. You can tell because Santa is right there in the title. It's brought to you by the fine film makers at the WWE, the studio responsible for such classics as The Marine 3: Homefront, Jingle All the Way 2 and my favorite Scooby-Doo! WrestleMania Mystery. Quite frankly it's one of the stupidest most cliched movies I've seen in a while and I LOVED IT.

Within the first 5 minutes we find the Miz basically shutting down a community center full of cute kids on Christmas, because he's a grinch, so you know we're in for a redemption story. The rest of the plot follows The Miz as he gets laid off from his highfalutin corporate gig and finds himself in competition to earn the right to become the right had man of someone "famous and powerful" who unbeknownst to him, just happens to be Santa. AnnaLyne McCord plays the sexy elf sent to put the Miz through a series of tasks meant to challenge the Miz's character and WWE Diva Paige plays the sexy elf that hopes to derail the Miz so she can take the Santa job for herself.

It's the kind of movie where you know at some point someone is going to get hit in the nuts.

It happens on a ropes course because OF COURSE THERE'S A ROPES COURSE!

Anyhoo, I'd watch AnnaLynne McCord in just about anything and believe it or not the Miz isn't that bad of an actor, at least not when he's asked to play a pompous ass-clown, so a likable cast really makes up for what's a laughably bad script. In fact the laughably bad script is what really makes the movie enjoyable. If Santa's Little Helper was a better written movie it wouldn't have been anywhere near as fun to watch. I definitely give this one a perfect 5/7.




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