How 2 Ninja

via SafelyEndangered.com

New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer isn't helping

Excuse me if yesterday when this new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer was released I didn't immediately watch it and reblog it. I haven't seen a rating on this thing yet but I hope it's marketed to kids. Dumb kids that don't know any better. Like the kind that grew up in the 90s thinking The Phantom Menace was a good movie (they exist, trust me!).

Would it have killed them to not have f-ed up the turtles faces? Was it that important that they put their stamp on the movie by making the main characters unrecognizable? I mean if you don't want to make a TMNT movie just make a movie about space ninjas and save us all the grief. Also, rocket powered skateboard? At least they got one thing right.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles looks awful

that is all.

Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go

This craft Mac and Cheese commercial staring Vanilla Ice might just be the peak of advertising. How this wasn't a super bowl ad I'll never know.

I'll say this about Vanilla Ice, I sure like this not afraid to make fun of himself version WAY better than the overly serious version from 15 years ago when he was smashing video tapes on MTV with a baseball bat. One hit wonders should take notice, just because you can't get another song on the radio doesn't mean you can't capitalize on your fame in a fun, not sad, way.

.. The Blurst of Times: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Having the a sick child at home all weekend has provided me with ample opportunities to explore the depths of Saturday and Sunday morning children's programing. With "..the Blurst of Times" I'll tell you all about whatever horrible remake of a TV show from the 80s I watched the night before (or in this case last week).

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was one of those cartoons/toys/comics that really captured the zeitgeist of the 1980s. Even the fact that they started as this sort of hardcore, counter culture, stick it to the man kind of indie comic that eventually was whored out to the point where they were shooting pizza cannons at bad guys while yelling cowabunga dude on Saturday morning TV was itself very 1980s. What I'm trying to get at here is that since the 80s and early 90s the Turtles haven't been able to match their original success.

There have been new toy lines and new TV shows, even a new animated movie, but nothing that has really pushed them past whatever it is kids like these days. Pokemon? Is it still Pokemon?

Whatever, the Turtles are back (in pog form!) again. Nickelodeon premiered a new TMNT cartoon over the weekend. I watched it with my son and I have to say it was pretty good. Now Logan didn't think it was as good as the Lego Star Wars cartoon we watched earlier but there's no way in hell I'm reviewing that (so many continuity errors). The new Turtles cartoon was stylish and action oriented while still retaining some funny goofy stuff. In a lot of ways it reminded me of the Teen Titans cartoon from a few years back. On a scale of Michelangelo to Raphael I give it a Donatello.

Cowabunga

Hey Nerds, do you have 35 dollars burning a hole in your pocket and a girlfriend who doesn't mind if you dress her up like a g-d Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle? Well you're in luck because Etsy seller sceeneshoes has the handpainted Bra for you.

Seriously, whoever buys this is either totes awesome or a complete freakshow. There's just no middle ground here.

oh hi new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon

I'll freely admit, I miss G4. The ultra cheap Dish satellite channel package I have doesn't include G4, so not only am I missing Ninja Warrior twice a year but I miss their pretty good Comic-Con coverage. Anyway, here's the intro for the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon. I think it looks pretty kick ass. Hopefully my son Logan will like it too so I can get a half hour break from Bob the Builder and Thomas the Tank Engine.

Grown Up Alien Ninja Turtles

If you've been paying any attention to the blog this week, you already know Michael Bay is producing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie called Ninja Turtles where the turtles are from space (don't worry bro, the backstory will be rich and complex), also they're not really teenagers they just act like it.

I thought it was a bad idea until I saw the new intro. I think it's pretty sweet.

Turtles Forever

If you find yourself watching cartoons tomorrow morning, you could do a lot worse than checking out Turtles Forever. It's a good old fashioned multi-dimensional adventure staring the New TMNT, the ones from the cartoon in the early 90s and the black and white ones from the original Eastman/Laird comic.

It's probably not going to be as good as GI Joe Resolute was, but it still looks better than whatever YugiOh/Pokemon rip off every other channel will be airing.