Friday, March 5, 2010

World Cup 2010 Kit Review (Part 2)

With less than 100 days to the World Cup I thought it was a good time to take a look at what the participating teams would be wearing this year. As we all know, Soccer is 90 percent pageantry. Jersey Awesomeness is actually the 7th tie breaker in group play, just before the teams draw lots (look it up, it could happen)

Spain

First impression: Teal, really?
Help or Hurt their chance of Victory: I think the look on the players faces says it all.
Will I buy one: No chance


USA

First impression: At least it's not Denim
Help or Hurt their chance of Victory: It won't matter if Jonathan Bornstein is playing
Will I buy one: USA USA USA!!


Germany

First impression: Adidas delivers again
Help or Hurt their chance of Victory: Helps. Ze Germans won't even have to change after the game. They'll be able to take this kit from the pitch straight to the The Reeperbahn in Hamburg.
Will I buy one: Achtung Baby!


Cameroon

First impression: Do they only come in Taylor Twellman size?
Help or Hurt their chance of Victory: It's a Push. What the Cameroon team will gain in aerodynamics they'll lose by restricting blood flow.
Will I buy one: Maybe after a few hundred sit-ups


Serbia

First impression: YAWN...
Help or Hurt their chance of Victory: Helps. The Serbians only have one basic strategy going into the World Cup. Bore the other teams to sleep.
Will I buy one: huh, what? I fell asleep there for a sec.


Ghana

First impression: all the Puma Jerseys are identical
Help or Hurt their chance of Victory: Seriously I'm not reviewing any more of the African teams.
Will I buy one: Maybe, if I can find an Essien one.


Brasil

First impression: Did Robinho really make the team?
Help or Hurt their chance of Victory: Hurts. With all those dots on the jerseys the Coaches aren't going to see all the food crumbs on Ronaldinho's stomach. How long do we have to wait for a younger Portuguese Ronaldinho so we can start calling him the fat Ronaldinho? Just kidding... no chance he makes the team.
Will I buy one: No, Brasil shirts are played out.

2 comments:

B said...

Looks like the US team thought this was the Miss World pageant. Doesn't matter anyway, they're getting eliminated in match play again.

And if you buy one of these jerseys every time I see it I'm going to say "Nice sash Miss Kent-Des Moines".

kevin n. on March 5, 2010 at 9:57 AM said...

well now you've just given me more reason to buy one.

 

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