Showing posts with label seattle sounders fc. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seattle sounders fc. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
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Monday, August 26, 2013
Thursday, June 18, 2009
6 fans out to screw you
About 15 minutes into last nights Sounders game my wife asked me what other MLS players must think of their home fans after playing at Quest Field. The atmosphere is really that amazing and there isn't another team in the MLS that even comes close to it. However, that doesn't mean going to the game is always going to be perfect. Here's the six people that want to ruin your Seattle Sounders FC experience.
1. Cookie Commander. He's like Cobra Commander but all he wants are the free cookies. You'll find this guy in the VIP section taking forever to pick out a damn cookie. Sure on his own he's harmless, but if he picks up one more cookie, looks at it and puts it back, you're going to get thrown out of the game after clocking him.
2. Marcello Balboa. If you ever watched Marcello Balboa broadcast a USMNT game a. I'm sorry and b. he had this great habit of over pronouncing every foreign players name. At sounders games you're sure to find someone doing their best Balboa impersonation. Don't you dare use an L to pronounce Ljungberg, that sh*t starts with a "Y".
3. Green Street Morons. Drunk retards who think they're way awesomer than they are. You see soccer is all about drinking and shouting things. Who cares if you're missing a play because you're shouting at the other team's bench? You were totally in the other teams head!
4. Ronaldo Jersey. Ronaldo Jersey could care less about the sounders. He just wants other soccer fans to appreciate his super sweet, brand new, long sleeve, 3rd alternate Real Madrid Jersey. He's wearing way to much Axe body spray, has some sort of euro-mullet hair cut and is on your weekend soccer team. He's the guy that refuses to play defense, never subs out and won't pass the ball. No one invited him, but he shows up anyway. Kinda like Pauly Shore in the 90s.
5. Blue Tooth Tony. When Blue Tooth Tony isn't on his blackberry he's wandering the stadium looking for garlic fries and wondering when the Hydro races start. He played soccer 20 years ago when he was in high-school and thought getting sounders season tickets would be awesome. He always shows up late, and leaves early to beat the traffic. BTT is most dangerous after you've left the stadium and are walking back to your car. The last thing you'll see are the Xenon headlights of his new M3 running you down in the crosswalk.
6. The Stand Up. If you're lucky enough to be sitting in a section that doesn't stay on their feet the entire game*, you're well aware of the Stand Up. This is the person that's up and down out of their seat the entire game, mostly just to wave at friends walking by. They're the reason you don't know why the rest of the stadium is booing at the ref.
* yes the fact that most of the crowd is standing on their feet the entire game is cool, but my wife's pregnant and I'm old, sometimes you just have to sit down.
2. Marcello Balboa. If you ever watched Marcello Balboa broadcast a USMNT game a. I'm sorry and b. he had this great habit of over pronouncing every foreign players name. At sounders games you're sure to find someone doing their best Balboa impersonation. Don't you dare use an L to pronounce Ljungberg, that sh*t starts with a "Y".
3. Green Street Morons. Drunk retards who think they're way awesomer than they are. You see soccer is all about drinking and shouting things. Who cares if you're missing a play because you're shouting at the other team's bench? You were totally in the other teams head!
4. Ronaldo Jersey. Ronaldo Jersey could care less about the sounders. He just wants other soccer fans to appreciate his super sweet, brand new, long sleeve, 3rd alternate Real Madrid Jersey. He's wearing way to much Axe body spray, has some sort of euro-mullet hair cut and is on your weekend soccer team. He's the guy that refuses to play defense, never subs out and won't pass the ball. No one invited him, but he shows up anyway. Kinda like Pauly Shore in the 90s.
5. Blue Tooth Tony. When Blue Tooth Tony isn't on his blackberry he's wandering the stadium looking for garlic fries and wondering when the Hydro races start. He played soccer 20 years ago when he was in high-school and thought getting sounders season tickets would be awesome. He always shows up late, and leaves early to beat the traffic. BTT is most dangerous after you've left the stadium and are walking back to your car. The last thing you'll see are the Xenon headlights of his new M3 running you down in the crosswalk.
6. The Stand Up. If you're lucky enough to be sitting in a section that doesn't stay on their feet the entire game*, you're well aware of the Stand Up. This is the person that's up and down out of their seat the entire game, mostly just to wave at friends walking by. They're the reason you don't know why the rest of the stadium is booing at the ref.
* yes the fact that most of the crowd is standing on their feet the entire game is cool, but my wife's pregnant and I'm old, sometimes you just have to sit down.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Good Guys 3, Bad Guys 0
I wish my camera phone was more camera and less phoneYou ever get the feeling that you're watching history being made? Most of my life all the "historic" moments I've witnessed have been on TV. Things like the Challenger shuttle explosion, the OJ verdict, 911, Obama's acceptance speech, Hogan vs Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania III. Last nights Sounders FC game was the first time I've ever felt like I actively participated in something you could consider historic. Sure it's just soccer, and yeah it's the MLS so it's not even great soccer. But 11 minutes in, when Freddy Montero scored the first goal in Seattle Sounders FC history it definitely felt special.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Nice hair coach
According to the Seattle PI, The Columbus Crew have announced that Sigi Schmid will not return next season as head coach. There's almost no way the sounders don't announce him as head coach in the next couple days.Thanks for the good work over the years Brian Schmetzer, but now it's time to let the big boys go to work.
Friday, December 5, 2008
My Eyes! The goggles do nothing!
I'm sure I'll get ran out of town for saying this, but sweet sassy mollasy the new Seattle Sounders uniforms are ugly! They kind of remind me of something I saw bell biv devoe wear on the arsenio hall show 16 years ago.
Since the shirt sponser is X-Box I vote for a 3rd jersey that's the same color as the red ring of death.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
I'm going to Euro-Disney land..
The MLS expansion draft has a long storied history (2 whole years, right?) of players never actually seeing any action for the expansion team that drafted them. In that tradition I give you Seattle Sounders FC expansion draft pick Jeff Parke. Parke's a solid MLS defender with lots of talent that will probably end up in europe playing for some 2nd division sweedish team because the MLS salary cap blows. On the other hand he's a cheater that got busted using andro, so good riddance.However, Seattle did pick up a couple of guys I would expect to make the final team. Nate Jaqua is a guy that's been linked to seattle for what seems like forever. Jaqua is a tall guy that should be able to score some goals for Seattle. He also has a couple of caps for the USMNT which is good I guess. EJ or Ching must have been sick those days. Nathan Sturgis is also a guy that on paper looks like a lock for the team. He's a young midfielder with a ton of NCAA accolades, that can play defense if asked to. Plus, according to wikipedia, he drew some attention from the staff at Chelsea when the Galaxy did a tour of europe a couple years ago.
Here's a full report from Soccer by ives
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