These Teens KNOW NOTHING ABOUT 90'S HIP-HOP AND SHOULD FEEL BAD!

Here's one of those videos where a bunch of teenagers don't know about something that happened 20-30 years ago and everyone is either supposed to be shocked or feel old. I mean sure I guess it does that. What it really highlights is something I've been thinking about a lot lately while stuck in traffic listening to my old man jams.

My generation (gen-X) is going to be the first generation of grandparents who were really into hip-hop, right? Sure, there were probably some really hip 30 or 40 year olds that loved Run DMC when they first came out but for the most part Gen-Xers are really the first generation raised in a culture where hip-hop was fully accepted and incredibly popular. How weird is that going to be? Bunch of super old dudes just chilling at the retirement home bumping Enter the Wu-Tang or Ready to Die. Hopefully they'll have a really big screen tv with a killer retro-game emulator, maybe some Surge on tap.

Welp, I'm ready to retire now.

Border Links

‘Empire Records’ 20 Years Later: A ’90s Movie Unstuck In Time. Yikes... here's another one of those things that makes me feel hella old. Much like the Goonies or Clueless the cult of Empire Records has grown substantially over the last few years. Just more proof that the generation of kids stuck between X and Millennial should be called the Nostalgic Generation. We get nostalgic over anything. The stupider the better. Empire Records is a terrible movie that no one saw in the theater but I'll be damned if every Rex Manning day there aren't a dozen posts in my facebook feed about it. And I'll be double damned if I don't hit like on every one of them.

Damn the man.

LEGO Dimensions: The Kotaku Review. I'm not going to lie, I'm having a really hard time not running to the store and buying this right now. There's pretty much only two things keeping me from doing that. First, it's my son's birthday in about a month so if I'm going to drop $100 on a new game I should probably wait. Second, I kind of want it on the WiiU, a system I don't really have but have thought about trying to get the family for Christmas.

It's funny I was looking at some older posts a few days ago and I noticed that I blasted the WiiU a couple different times and now it's totally the system that I want. I'm definitely in a mode where I'd rather play Splatoon or Super Mario Maker than a new Halo or Uncharted game. Weird, huh?

18 People Who Are Clearly Having ‘One of Those Days’. These are funny. That is all.

Carl’s Jr. Border War Burger. I'm really confused with Carl's Jr commercials these days. Am I supposed to be eating the burger or having sex with it?

Clerks: The TV Show is... yikes

So WAY WAY back in 1995 Touchstone decided that Kevin Smith's Clerks needed to be adapted to the small screen. It's was a terrible idea for many reasons. Count them as you try and slog your way through the pilot episode that has most kindly been uploaded to youtube.

On the plus side if you ever wondered what Clerks would be like without the swearing, clever jokes and likable characters here you go.

Also, this TV show is so 1990s that I think It comes with a Gin Blossoms CD.

Incredibly Links

Behold The Oldsmobile Expression, The Incredibly Ugly ’90s Car With A Built-In NES. Ugly? This thing is sweet. If this was available right now, I'd be one of the first in line. It has third row rear facing seats, rear facing seats. It could have a Colecovision built in and I'd still want one.

The Secret Lives of NYC Mega-Projects, Revealed By One Photographer. Pictures of huge construction projects like these always bottle my mind grapes. A few of these double so given the fact that they're underground. I don't even understand how Manhattan stays standing, there's like an entire mountain dug out underneath it.

We Can't Let John Deere Destroy the Very Idea Of Ownership. Hey there, here's something that's not particularly good for your average consumer. The basic gist is that a few larger companies are using copyright law to say that you only KIND OF own the things you've bought. Sure you bought the tractor, but all the software that runs it John Deere really owns and you don't have the right to touch it.

But I don't buy tractors, so why should I care? Well the same argument can and will be made for cars, phones, computers, baby monitors basically anything with a chip. Imagine having to take your car to an authorized GM dealer because a regular repair shop can't legally hook up a diagnostic computer. Welcome to the future!

Live From The MTV Movie Awards: Who Won? Who Lost? Who Is Ansel Elgort? This is a bit late but it's still pretty funny. Seriously, are the MTV movie awards still a thing? Kids don't care, adults don't care, who cares? One guy in LA named Donnie?

Rumor of the Day: Marvel is planning a Ms. Marvel TV series with ABC. Disney/Marvel has zero plans of slowing down, right? They have about 7 movies in the works right now plus 4 shows on Netflix, an Agents of SHIELD spin off and now a Ms Marvel show? It's getting to the point where I can't keep up. I just finished Agent Carter a couple weeks ago and I'm like 3 weeks behind Agents of SHIELD. I haven't even started watching Daredevil. Where was this glut of superhero stuff when I was single and kidless?

Oh yeah, Ms Marvel is SUPER RAD. I hope this show gets made. If it's half as awesome as the comic it will be a giant hit.

Turbo Kid is my Jam

The trailer for the movie Turbo Kid is taking SxSW by storm this week. Or maybe it isn't. Honestly everything about SxSW kind of intimidates me. It's like Comic-Con but only for cool kids that have heard of all these bands you've never heard of. Also everyone seems kinda rich. I don't know..

But Turbo Kid looks awesome. Lets all pick up some Surge and watch it when it hits blockbuster.

Regular Car Reviews: 1999 Chevy Blazer

Have you ever watched a car review turn into a video essay on the 1990s? Well my friend you are in luck. This review of the 1999 Chevy Blazer by Regular Car Guys is less about the 25 year history of the Chevy V6 4.2 Vortec (although that's there) and more about the hope and optimism living in the year 1999 brought to Joe and Jane six pack. Even if you're barely interested in cars, this is worth the 8 minutes.

Sega Really Knew How to Throw a Party

Here's the Sega sizzle real for the big CES show from 1994. It's the craziest most full on 90s, epileptic seizury thing I've ever seen. Honestly, I think it's a miracle Sega didn't go out of business sooner. Welcome to the next living room indeed.

Every 90s commercial ever.

Liquid Slam's ad campaign for their "Big Game" line of snacks and sugary beverages was pulled almost immediately.

She's all Links

From ‘Cruel Intentions’ to ‘She’s All That’: Why 1999 Was the Golden Year of Teen Movies. Man there really were a TON of teen movies released in 1999. I think I could watch Varsity Blues, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Cruel Intentions and 10 Things I Hate About You on infinite loop (with occasional intermissions of Josie and the Pussycats) and be perfectly happy for a weekend. Maybe the next time the wife and kids are away. Man, I really know how to party.

How one man's lies almost destroyed the comics industry. Back in 1954 Fredric Wertham wrote a book called The Seduction of the Innocent and he pretty much scared America off comic books. The short story here is that he made up a bunch of BS about how comic books were destroying the youth of today and people ATE IT UP. Of course it turned out to all be a bunch of BS, he was just making things up to sell books and get attention. Imagine everyone's shock when they found out there really weren't prostitutes setting up shop at comic book stores!

Max Landis Might’ve Pitched The Perfect Idea For ‘Ghostbusters 3′ On Twitter. Max Landis is kind of a blowhard/douche but man his 30 second pitch for Ghostbusters 3 is kinda awesome. At least the idea of a team of Ghostbusters made out of the cast of Anchorman or Parks and Rec is. Someone give me my Ron Swanson Ghostbuster figure NOW.

Paramount lays out its next two years of sequels and remakes. Are you ready for Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters 2: Electric Boogaloo? How about GI Joe 3? Hot Tub Time Machine 2: Hot Tubbier? Another Friday the 13th Reboot? Mission Freaking Impossible 5? Good grief Paramount, just take your ball and go home. You're losing at everything you're doing.

Eight Things You Might Not Know About The N64

This video about the Nintendo 64 was pretty interesting. Usually when I see one of these "things you didn't know about.." videos or lists I'm always that guy who's like harumph, I knew all that. This list had a lot of cool stuff I didn't know anything about, mostly because it happened in Japan. Like who knew there was a modem you could get for the N64? I knew the Sega Genesis had one but I had no clue the N64 did. Like I said good stuff, well worth the 7 minutes.

The Games of 1998

Wow, I didn't realize 1998 had so many good games (click the picture to embiggen). If I had to make a top 5 off this list it would go Half Life, WCW/NWO Revenge, Baulder's Gate, Marvel vs Capcom, Grim Fandango. With honorable mentions to Metal Gear Solid, Unreal and 1080 Snowboarding.

The To Do List

Hey kids, remember the 90s? No? Well you didn't miss much. Kurt Cobain shot himself in the face and Michael Jordan won a bunch of NBA titles. That was pretty much it. Of course that doesn't mean that there's this giant wave of nostalgia for the decade that brought us the Gin Blossomss, or was it the Goo Goo Dolls? Anyhoo, here's a trailer for a movie staring Aubrey Plaza called The To Do List about a high school senior from 1993 that wants to have a bunch of sex... which is complete FICTION!

And as long as we're turning the dial on the wayback machine, here's NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams spitting some old school Snoop.