The President's a Moron

Man if you missed the presidents 15 minute press conference on "infrastructure improvements" yesterday you should really check it out. Odds are you've probably been bombarded with quotes from it already but in my humble opinion you really need to watch the whole thing.

The immediate takeaway is that he talk like a child who forgot to study for a book report. For someone who has the best words he sure hooks onto one small phrase and repeats it into the ground. I lost count at the number of times he says he wanted to get the whole story before making a statement. It's especially stupid when you remember he did put out a statement immediately after the events in Charlottesville and it was intentionally garbage. If you take him at his own word he didn't wait to get all the facts to lay blame on "both sides" of the protest there.

It's just all so amazing. Yesterday the president went on national tv and said that there were lots of fine folks on the alt-right side of the protest. I guess they just happened upon the protest being held by nazis and white supremacists by accident? Anyway, I haven't gotten a chance to watch it yet but I've heard this documentary on Charlottesville put together by Vice is pretty much required viewing. I'm going to check it out on my lunch break, for some reason I doubt I'll be less outraged after watching it.



The Amazing thing is this won't hurt the president at all. The odds were pretty good he wasn't getting re-ellected in 2020 anyway and there's zero chance a republican controlled congress is going to impeach him over been too casual with supporting racists. Half of those guys in congress owe their jobs to racists, they're not about to bit the hand that feeds them now. They'll just make some statements for a couple weeks and boom, tax cuts for the rich next month. Ugh, this country is so depressing.

Triumph Attends Trump’s Inauguration

Conan was smart enough to send Triumph the Insult Comic dog to Trump's Inauguration last week. It's probably a bit too easy for Triumph but what else are you going to do? Sit there and do nothing? You've gotta get those youtube hits son.

It's not exactly as classic as the time Triumph roasted those kids camped outside to watch Star Wars but it's still pretty good. I give it like 3 out of 4 alternative truths.

Gaslighting Links

Donald Trump Is Gaslighting America. I saw a lot of talk on twitter about how Teen Vogue of all people was killing it with their political coverage and I'll be damned if they weren't right. This article about Trump's gaslighting of America is incredibly effective, it's brief without sacrificing substance. The writer backs up her claim incredibly well, it's not one of those articles where the writer has an obvious axe to grind or hot take to make and basically warps every comment and fact to fit their narrative. Good on you Teen vogue.

Microsoft now has the tools to make the Surface Pro the ultimate mobile computer. I'm not 100% sure the key to the Surface Pro is actually using a ARM processor but what do I know, I'm just a schlub who hasn't bought a new laptop in 7 years. I like the idea of better battery life AND cellular integration but isn't the whole point of the Surface that it's not just an iPad, that it's a fully functioning computer? Seems to me like sacrificing processing power is a step backward in the fight against Apple.

Donald Trump Names WWE's Linda McMahon To Head Small Business Administration. I like how Trump is just appointing people to cabinet positions who pretty much hate that department. Rick Perry his pick for secretary of Energy famously said he would shut down the Department of Energy if elected president. Well, he tried to say it. He famously forgot the name of the department in a debate but trust me it was the Department of Energy. The McMahon's are no friend to small business and their labor practices border on illegal like 99% of the time. Also Linda McMahon took the worst Stone Cold Stunner of all time. I hope congress blocks her nomination just for that.

Comic Desks. This is a cool tumblr blog that just shows you the work spaces of comic book creators (both writers and artists). Nice to see some of these guys and gals are as messy as I am.

Seth Meyers on Donald Trump's Presidency

Sorry to brigade the blog with so much politics this week but hey, what else is going on, right? Seth Meyers had some pretty good thoughts on our someone's man D. Trump winning the presidency. I thought it was pretty good. Did you even know Seth Meyers has the David Letterman/Conan time slot on NBC? I usually catch it on Friday nights and it's actually a pretty good show, he's certainly done well with the material this election cycle has given him.

The one thing that really gets me with his monologue here is how everything he's predicted about Trump has been wrong. I feel like I'm in that exact same boat. I never thought he'd really run, never thought he's win the nomination and even tuesday night when the results started trickling in I didn't think he could actually win. I just sat there waiting for all those traditionally Democratic states to go blue, when it never happened I was just shocked. I remember around 8pm on Twitter seeing that the NYTimes was giving Trump an 80% chance of winning and you could have knocked me down with a feather.

And speaking of Twitter I read someone on there openly criticize the likes of John Oliver and Stephen Colbert, while they were laughing at Trump, republicans were busy voting. There's certainly a time and place for satire but at a certain point I think the entertainment division of the left got so far up their own ass they didn't notice that it was about to get kicked.

Anyway, this made me laugh. Maybe it'll make you laugh too.

I voted for Kodos

Well that certainly was something last night, wasn't it? I guess I should consider myself blessed to have lived through 2 historical elections. The election of the first ever black president and the first ever umpa lumpa president. Just kidding, it's the first time we've ever elected a president that's never served in the military or public office. I have a couple random thoughts on the whole thing so I thought I'd just let them fly.

I don't believe everyone that voted for Trump is a racist or a sexist or a bigot or even an idiot. I think a large portion of middle america decided that their opposition to the status quo trumped their opposition to racist and sexist behavior. Essentially they're so desperate for an agent of political change they were willing to overlook Trump's many flaws. If you're straight and you're white it's not like Trump is targeting you, right? I don't think that makes those people "bad" people, I just think they've made a mistake based off their privilege.

WOW did the Democratic party blow this. They spent 4 years clearing the path for Hillary a candidate they knew was unlikable and flawed but they did it and they did it eagerly because that's just how politics work. Hillary had amassed so much power within the DNC that there was no real choice (as wikileaks pointed out so clearly). Just a couple weeks ago everyone was predicting this was the death knell of the Republican party and what we really saw was the implosion of the Democratic establishment. Everyone connected to Hillary is going to have a huge stink of failure attached to them, it's going to be 100% turnover.

Trump has surrounded himself with some wildly incompetent boobs like Giuliani and Chris Christie. Wonder how many of them will be rewarded for their good service with cabinet positions? One of the worst things Bush Jr did after becoming president was fill important positions with people that helped get him there as opposed to actual qualified individuals. Since almost the entire Republican party abandoned Trump who is he going to appoint? Chachie?

I've always felt like the President didn't have as much control over policy and the economy as people gave him credit for. I guess we're really going to see that theory put to the test over the next 4 years.

I've never lived through an impeachment (I mean technically did with Clinton but I was too young to really pay attention or remember anything about it). That should be exciting!

Twirling, Twirling, Twirling Toward Freedom

I've had this picture of Kang and Kodos on my desktop for a couple weeks now just looking for an excuse to post it, so here we are.

When did it become accepted fact that Bill Clinton is a rapist? I listen to way to much right wing radio and if you listen for more than like 10 minutes to any station you'll find out that Bill Clinton is not just a molester but a straight up rapist. It's like the whole Indian shooting the star on the Tootsie Pop wrapper gets you a free Tootsie pop thing, if you repeat anything enough people will just start assuming it's true.

Kind of funny how Trump is in the position of saying "don't listen to these women, all these accusations all false" when just last week he was trotting out Juanita Broaddrick at the debate. I really wonder if Anthony Weiner is looking at all of this thinking "I haven't done half of what Trump has, there's still a chance for me!"

Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton Debate Cold Open - SNL

This cold open from last weekends Saturday Night Live is one of the funniest things I've seen on the show since Chris Parnell was rapping about cupcakes. I almost woke up the entire house when Balldwin/Trump said "The problem with the blacks is..." Man, I can really imagine Trump saying that. Worst is you know his poll numbers would probably go up.

Last Week Tonight: Scandals

Everyone in my office has Debate fever so I figured I'd post this as a nice reminder to everyone that Comedy Central totally f-ed up when they let John Oliver go to HBO. Those two months where he filled in for John Stewart while he was filming a movie should have proved to them that he was the heir apparent. I know Stewart was still under contract then but they should have thrown a dump truck after dump truck full of cash at him until he stayed. I'll be if Oliver was on the Daily Show the Nightly Show wouldn't have been canceled. Comedy Central could stand to let one of those two shows stick around while they found their footing but not both.

Anyway, we're getting precariously close to electing Donald Trump our supreme leader. All he has to do tonight is not shit himself and everyone will be claiming its a victory. I'm pretty sure he'll be the first WWE Hall of Famer elected president. That's not a good thing.

No Man's Links

First 727 Restoration. Long story short the first 727, built over 50 years ago flew from Everett to Seattle after a lengthy restoration processes. The 727 was really the plane that cemented Boeing place as one of the worlds top airplane manufacturers. It's a neat part of aviation history and these are some cool pictures of the restoration process. Well worth a couple minutes checking out.

Breaking Down Each State’s Most Searched PornHub Term. A. That's a lot of Lesbians B. Step-Mom? Step-Sister? You people are sick. C. No Asian?

edit: Never mind, good work Hawaii.

Erin Andrews: ESPN Forced Me To Go On TV And Talk About My Stalker. ESPN kinds sucks don't they? I'll admit when the Erin Andrews nude video story first broke I didn't really think about how awful the whole thing was. I'm kinda terrible about remembering that some celebrities are actual human beings. Reading this story really made me feel bad for Andrews, what a terrible thing to happen to a person AND to make it worse your employer doesn't really believe you? That's messed up.

5 Ways We Got The Trump Campaign Wrong: An Insider Explains. This is an interesting read on what happens behind the scenes on a campaign. As horrifying as it might be to actually imagine a president Trump it sure has been an exciting campaign season. Imagine if the only thing we had to talk about was Hillary vs Bernie... snooze.

No Man's Sky Just Got Even Cooler, Now That We've Seen Its Aliens. No Man's Sky has an actual release date! Sometime in June! I don't know exactly when, I already closed the tab. I'm perilously close to actually pre-ordering this.

Bryan Singer Developing R-Rated Red Sonja Series For Television. Oh man I am down for this. I'm not 100% sure what this says about me but I'm a sucker for strong female leads, pretty much across all forms of entertainment. If done well this could be a really fun show to watch. I'm thinking Game of Thrones but with less talking and more stabbing... probably the same amount of cleavage.

The proper way to thank Donald Trump over twitter

lol