Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Player ratings are completely subjective and pretty much a waste of everyone's time. Here are mine for the USMNT's performance in the Confederations Cup.
Coach Bradley: C-
It's funny we finished 2nd in the tourney and I still think a C- is being generous. His reliance on capping out of form players that have helped him in the past, while overlooking obvious new talent, will leave him in the same place it left Bruce Arena. Coaching in the MLS.
Landon Donovan: A-
Was a dominant force on the field and this time it wasn't in a tournament against Barbados and Mexico it was against Spain and Brazil. He gets a minus because for all the hustle and skill he showed in the first two games he still didn't get enough shots on goal.
Clint Dempsy: B
First two games an F, last 3 games an A. More than anyone on the Nats, this guy needs to learn how to be consistent. Also he always looks like he has the flu. Work on that too.
Jozy Altidore: C+
He's as lazy and out of shape as he is skillful. There's no way you should have to sub a 19 year old out at the 60th minute every time he starts.
Carlos Bocanegra: B-
Looked solid on defense as the left back but If he's the future at that spot he's going to need to work on his offense. Of course he's still light years ahead of any of our other options at that spot.
Jay Demeritt: B+
Is ready to play at this level. He got beat on a header vs. Brazil, but after that had things on serious lock down. Easy to see why he's the captain at Watford. His style of play was contagious
Jonathan Spector: B+
Cherunda-who? Two pinpoint crosses to Dempsy has earned Spector a starting spot with the A squad. He needed help defending against the Brazilians, but who doesn't?
Demarcus Beasley: F-
Looked horrible, had no business being on the field. Not as much his fault as it was Bob Bradley's for starting him.
Jonathan Bornstein: C-
Bornstein is a fine second choice left back. Keep him on the sub sheet but pray you never have to start him.
Michael Bradley: B
Unlike Clark and Kljestan, Bradley got hosed with his red card. Internationally he's developed a reputation as a sloppy tackler. Not a good rep for your holding mid to have.
Ricardo Clark: C+
Ricardo Clark once again showed us that he's always ready to kick some back. Looked serviceable when he wasn't getting straight reds.
Sacha Kljestan: D+
Has any one's stock dropped faster than Sacha's? The Red card was bad enough, but in the last game against Brazil he couldn't defend anyone and he couldn't make a simple pass. The fact that Bob Bradley even put him out there as a "holding mid" makes me question his sanity.
Benny Fielhaber: B-
This guy is 24 years old, why can't he play a full game? Is he sharing a trainer with Altidore?
Oguchi Onyewu: B
At least with Gooch you always know what you're going to get. His big and strong, plays solid man defense and is fearless in the air. He also can't pass over the midfield to save his life, and has trouble marking speedy short guys.
Conner Casey: D+
Casey looked better defending corner kicks than he did playing forward. How this guy gets call ups over Kenny Cooper is a mystery.
Charlie Davies: B-
Talk about upside. Davies is fast and loves to hustle. He's also not afraid to run right at defenders. That Bicycle kick he took against Spain took a lot of testicular fortitude. Of course his touch on the ball could use some serious work. Someone get him out of Sweden so he can spend some time in a world class system.
Tim Howard: B
Had the game of his life vs Spain but he also had a couple forgettable performances vs Brasil and Italy. The book on him is to shoot from distance. He needs to prove the book wrong.
Brad Guzan: B+
Kept a clean sheet, which is really all you can ask from a goalie. Still, he looked shaky on corners and crosses and needs to improve his communication with the back line.
Freddy Adu, Jose Torres: Incomplete
What on earth did these two do to Bob Bradley? When you're losing time in the midfield to Jonathan Bornstein there's a problem.
Overall team grade: B-
I know I know, how can you come in second to Brazil and still only get a B-? It's not that I'm one of those people that thinks the Confederations cup doesn't mean anything and that the win vs Spain wasn't that big of a deal. Just the opposite, I think to this team the Confederations cup was super imprtant and in the first two games we played worse than we did in Germany 2006. It took a miracle to get out of group play and no matter how good Brazil is, it's hard for me to swallow giving up a two goal lead in the second half of a tournament final.
Still if you're an optimist, you can't help but feel good going into the second half of World Cup qualifying and looking way ahead to South Africa 2010. Maybe in another year Jozy will be able to last 80 minutes!
enjoy the top ten goals of the tournament decided by some anonymous youtuber
Check out the rest at Neill's Blog.
Friday, June 26, 2009
What scares me most is that Jimmy Fallon's hair is in the top 10 twice! If this keeps up soon this blog will be all Fallon all the time.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
This is easily the stupidest thing I've ever seen. God bless you auto tune.
The first cassette tape ever I owned, outside of psalty's praise tapes 1&2, was Thriller. Up until he started to get all molesty I was a big big fan. At least for today, lets not remember him as the creepy looking white guy luring kids onto his ferris wheel with cans of Jesus juice. Instead Let's remember him as the amazing performer he once was.
also if anyone is interested in a slightly used copy of Moonwalker on VHS check out my e-bay auction page, user name sexygrandpa2518.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
* it took me 10 minutes to find a highlight video that didn't look like it was compressed and uploaded by a Tandy 1000, sorry it's in italian.
Whoops.. Lets just say that for all the press this album got, it didn't set any sales records.
So where's that leave us. With Tom Morello and Boots Riley creating a rap/rock fusion super group, Street Sweeper Social club. Their new self titled album is basically 12 tracks that sound like recylced Coup lyrics over Early Rage against the Machine B sides. It's not that original, it doesn't seem to be that well produced and the whole thing kind of reeks of minimal effort. Of course none of that prevented me for cranking it at full blast on my way into work this morning. Go ahead and bit torrent the crap out of this album, Boots Riley is a communist he wouldn't want your money anyway.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
~ Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times
He also added, "and have you seen Megan Fox's toe thumbs? Bleech!"
*doesn't look good at all
So Sunday night I saw this video of John Hodgman at the 2009 Radio and TV Correspondents' Dinner and was super excited to post it here on Monday. Then every nerd site out there beat me to it Monday morning, damn you nerds!
Oh well, it's still pretty awesome. So if you haven't seen it, enjoy. How often do you get to see a doughy guy in glasses call the president of the united states a nerd.
Monday, June 22, 2009
The IT Crowd Fire e-mail Joke
Perez Hilton must watch The IT Crowd, but I'm guessing he doesn't actually get the jokes. How else can you explain him trying to report an assault via twitter.
"I'm in shock. I need the police ASAP. Please come to the SoHo Metropolitan Hotel now. Please.-- about 5 hours ago from Sidekick
I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke.-- about 5 hours ago from Sidekick
Still waiting for the police. The bleeding has stopped. I need to document this. Please, can the police come to the SoHo Met Hotel. -- about 5 hours ago from Sidekick"
I'm hoping that when the cops showed up they smashed his sidekick and tasered him a couple times.
"All the f---ing experts in America, everybody who thinks they know about soccer, they can all look at the score tonight and let's see what they have to say now. Nobody has any respect for what we do, for what goes on on the inside, so let them all talk now."
The 3-0 win over Egypt was incredible, but I'm not completely sure it erases the absolutely horrible showing against Brazil and Italy. Let just put it this way, 3 points and a -2 goal Diff. isn't going to get you into the knock out round in 2010.
Friday, June 19, 2009
"I would rather punch myself in the d*ck for 3 hours than watch the US play like that again"
"I hear Sven isn't doing anything at the moment. just saying"
"Beasley looked like Pele today. Not the Pele of his prime, but exactly how Pele would look if he suited up today."
"Hey. Bob Bradley. The US soccer youth program just called, they want their coach back."
"That was a disgrace. I seriously can't believe I took off work today. Bob Bradley should personally reimburse us fans that sat through that joke of a game."
"If the US finishes the next game with 11 players on the field it will be considered a victory!"
"I see zero positives for the US from this game. Maybe less than zero."
"If Conor Casey is the answer, I don't want to know the question"
So I saw this trailer for Zombieland on Attack of the Show last night (yeah I'm the guy that watches that crap). It looks like they took all the ways you can kill Zombies in Dead Rising and turned it into a movie staring Woody Harrelson. Maybe it's me getting old, but these days I'm expecting more from a zombie movie. Add some Nazis or Pirates and film the whole thing in Sweeden then give me a call.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
2. Marcello Balboa. If you ever watched Marcello Balboa broadcast a USMNT game a. I'm sorry and b. he had this great habit of over pronouncing every foreign players name. At sounders games you're sure to find someone doing their best Balboa impersonation. Don't you dare use an L to pronounce Ljungberg, that sh*t starts with a "Y".
3. Green Street Morons. Drunk retards who think they're way awesomer than they are. You see soccer is all about drinking and shouting things. Who cares if you're missing a play because you're shouting at the other team's bench? You were totally in the other teams head!
4. Ronaldo Jersey. Ronaldo Jersey could care less about the sounders. He just wants other soccer fans to appreciate his super sweet, brand new, long sleeve, 3rd alternate Real Madrid Jersey. He's wearing way to much Axe body spray, has some sort of euro-mullet hair cut and is on your weekend soccer team. He's the guy that refuses to play defense, never subs out and won't pass the ball. No one invited him, but he shows up anyway. Kinda like Pauly Shore in the 90s.
5. Blue Tooth Tony. When Blue Tooth Tony isn't on his blackberry he's wandering the stadium looking for garlic fries and wondering when the Hydro races start. He played soccer 20 years ago when he was in high-school and thought getting sounders season tickets would be awesome. He always shows up late, and leaves early to beat the traffic. BTT is most dangerous after you've left the stadium and are walking back to your car. The last thing you'll see are the Xenon headlights of his new M3 running you down in the crosswalk.
6. The Stand Up. If you're lucky enough to be sitting in a section that doesn't stay on their feet the entire game*, you're well aware of the Stand Up. This is the person that's up and down out of their seat the entire game, mostly just to wave at friends walking by. They're the reason you don't know why the rest of the stadium is booing at the ref.
* yes the fact that most of the crowd is standing on their feet the entire game is cool, but my wife's pregnant and I'm old, sometimes you just have to sit down.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Hey remember when Taylor Swift and T-Pain killed hip hop? Yeah, I think it was a monday in June....
First off NASA has decided to fire a rocket booster directly into the moon, triggering a six mile high explosion. Why? Because landing on the moon is for suckers. So buy those flood pants while you still can. They're going to be impossible to find after the Moon's been destroyed and we're all standing in 8 inches of water because the tides are all screwed up.
Secondly, computer programmers at the The Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers Symposium (I'm guessing there's a lot of cosplay) have decided to program an AI that will wage a 'fake' nuclear war. So if we're not all crushed to death by little bits of moon falling from the sky, the ICBMs landing in your backyard because some computer is a poor sport are sure to do the trick.
~ via geekologie
Allow me to paraphrase K from Men In Black. A person is smart and rational, but people as a group are just bat sh*t insane. This group of extra crazy is calling for David Letterman's head on a pike because he told a bawdy joke about one of Sarah Palin's daughters last week. And these days nothing brings out the crazies like politics.
Now I'm no master debater (see what I just did there?), but I'm pretty sure if you're trying to protest someone else's "hate speech" calling their son a bastard and their wife a slut pretty much derails your point.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Just in case anyone actually thinks this movie might not be so bad.. that guy on the top row.. over on the right.. That guy is supposed to be Cobra Commander. So not only does he look nothing like Cobra Commander, he's basically hidden behind Sienna Miller's photoshopped boobs and a guy that might be Destro, but looks more like a Bat Trooper with a popped collar. Argh, how hard is it to get GI Joe right?
Monday, June 15, 2009
"There are some…actors who have been in the business for a while, who are very egocentric and have been able to sleep with a lot of girls for whatever reason, and because they don't know me they think I'm going to be this little cupcake, this Marilyn Monroe type who's going to bat my eyes and be like a receptacle for them."
Hmmm I wonder where guys would get the idea that she's a Marilyn Monroe type? I'm sure it has nothing to do with the Marilyn Monroe tattoo she has on her forearm.
So maybe it's not completely the tattoo's fault. Dressing like a Hooker from the Roman Colosseum probably doesn't help help you look less like a "receptacle".
tacticalcorsets.com (via geekologie)
In what you could call the worst secret ever, Steve Rogers (the original Captain America) is coming back to the Marvel Universe. Marvel has released a teaser trailer for a 5-issue Captain America series called Reborn, by Ed Brubaker and Bryan Hitch. The first issue of which is expected to hit the news stands in July. Of course this is drawn by Bryan Hitch so I think it's safe to assume the series should wrap up sometime in December of 2010.
How is Captain America being brought back to Life? Does it really matter? We can all be assured it's going to make 100 times more sense than however DC decides to bring back Batman.
Friday, June 12, 2009
The confederations cup doesn't have a whole lot of history behind it, but it's evolved into the best World Cup tune up a mid level team like the US could hope for. A full year before the World cup we'll be able to compete against the best in the world, not in friendlies, but in actual games that matter.
U.S. glass is half full or half empty?(that's on point)
Your 2009 Confederations Cup Predictions Please… (theoffside)
Confederations Cup: Scouting Italy (soccer by ives)
Confederations Cup: Who should the USA start vs. Italy? (soccer by ives)
Tuesday redux (that's on point)
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The Pocket Retro Game Emulator ($100) plays NES, SNES, GBA, Sega Genesis, and Neo Geo roms, and when you're done with the classics, the device can play movie files, music files, view photos, read eBooks, and more. About the size of a GameBoy Micro, the device features 4GB of built-in storage, a mini SD slot, a 2.8 inch QVGA (320x240) LCD screen, a built-in FM radio, built-in stereo speakers, and an internal rechargeable li-battery.
Wow.. Oscar Rojas just killed this ball. Last night Mexico beat T&T 2-1, keeping their chances for World Cup qualification alive. Isn't it just like El-Tri to start the final group stage playing like ass, fire their coach and then turn things around just in time for the USMNT's visit to the Azteca. Thanks for nothing Mexico.
Yeah I know, two soccer posts in a row. At least this one has %100 less Ronaldo in short shorts than the previous post.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
“I don’t know why people are so interested in what I wear on holiday. Last year, when I was in LA, everyone was talking about my tight trunks. Anyway, what’s wrong with wearing tight pants? They look good and it’s better than having tan lines down your legs.”
Just for the record I'm totally comfortable with Cristiano Ronaldo dressing like Posh Spice. Doesn't bother me one bit. Not too sure how comfy I am with him joining Real Madrid for 75 million pounds. Word on the street is he's in Los Angeles right now taking a physical for Real (I guess health care in spain sucks?). 122 million is a lot of cash, and the price might even be a big higher than that. The spoiler is reporting that David Gill is setting the price for Ronaldo at 96 million pounds. That's a lot of cash for just one player. I mean for that kind of money you could just buy Newcastle.
Here's his first costume.. nice pony tail dude. It really goes well with the blue spandex/orange cape and loincloth thing he has going for him. Whiplash entered the "scene" at Marvel as a sort of throw away Maffia enforcer. He has no special powers just a super charged whip and a side-kick that can hypnotize you... oooooo!
Here's his second, and in my opinion best, costume. This is from a couple years later, when he started calling himself Blacklash and was written as a more sympathetic character. Instead of just some 2 bit hood, he was shown to be a insecure guy who was just trying to make a name for himself. This particular comic (Marvel Team-Up #145) ends with his mother refusing to take his phone call from prison. kinda sad.
Enter the late 1990s. Marilyn Manson and Limp Bizkit were popular, so I'm going to blame his "gimp from pulp fiction" look on the MTV. I'm guessing that when the Iron Man 2 costume designers were coming up with something for Mickey Rourke to run around in, this was the look they were referencing. It's to bad considering this outfit looked dated the second it first appeared. It's easily Whiplash's worst outfit, big words considering all the fake pony tails he's sported in the past.
Anyway if this is what they've come with up for Whiplash, it should be interesting to see what they do with Scarlett Johansson/Black Widow's costume.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Want to live out some nerd fantasies that make me all kinds of uncomfortable? Well then Evening Arwen is the place for you. whether you're interested in getting it on with a red shirt from Star Trek, a storm trooper or (shudder) Darth Vader. Sexy intergalactic adventures start at $500.00... what?!?
If you can get the nbc video player below to work, more power to you. heaven forbid NBC lose out on ad revenue by using youtube when they can just have a player that doesn't work at all. Those are the kinda winning decisions that have catapulted them straight to the bottom of the ratings!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Hey remember Jen from Big Brother? anyone? anyone? She was the one in red unitard that got into it all the time with Evil Dick. still no? Ah it doesn't really matter, here she is getting owned by the Wipeout course.
Consider this your reminder that we're only a month away from the next Big Brother season. Go TV!
I haven't seen a US release date for this yet, hopefully like Ong Bak, High Kick Girl finds its way to a few theaters. I mean which would you rather see, this or Land of the Lost on 3 screens?
Expanding on a memo to the City Council, Senior Assistant City Attorney Cynthia Martinez is expected to weigh in tonight on recent complaints from Mayor Dave Edler and others about bikini baristas and the "sexpresso" craze that is sweeping the Pacific Northwest."
Martinez also said the state Department of Labor and Industries and local health authorities are not interested in regulating barista attire from a safety standpoint.
Instead, she suggested the City Council consider amending the city's indecent exposure ordinance to prohibit see-through material and to clarify language that defines an immodest condition vaguely described as "cleavage of the buttocks."
~the Yakima Herald
There's really nothing more I can add to this story that dominic on Fark.com hasn't already said:
"I've accidentally gotten coffee from one of these bikini coffee stands, and I just have one thing to say. STOP GIVING ME BONERS BEFORE I HAVE TO GO TO WORK. Thank you."
Generally speaking when you combine the words "frenchman" and "prankster" you end up with something that makes you want to punch yourself in the face. However, this clip of French Prankster Remi Gaillard harassing people, garbage cans, tires and empty beer cans with his impressibe soccer skills is pretty good.
I plan on using a couple of these set ups in my soccer game tonight. Here's hoping the other teams goalie won't mind me placing a beer can on his head.
Friday, June 5, 2009
G.I. Joe Preview: The Rise Of Contra (kotaku)
E3 Media: 20 Minutes of Heavy Rain (joystick division)
Jumpgate's E3 Trailer Is Sci-Fi Epic (kotaku)
Forza Motorsport 3 Hands-on Impressions (g4tv.com)
E3: Left 4 Dead 2 Hands On (eurogamer)
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves E3 Preview (g4tv.com)
have a great weekend!